Chapter 168: Questioning Oneself

It appeared the seed of doubt that both Min-Jun and Seo-Jun had planted inside Ji-Won's head was finally beginning to grow into a seedling. Its roots were slowly, but surely nonetheless, starting to dig deeper into his subconscious, until Ji-Won was left utterly confused. 

His mind was soon assaulted by a torrent of questions. Doubts and fears swirled inside his heart, making him unable to sort any of them out.

'What does this even mean? Do I really see Miss Park in that kind of way? Well... If I take into consideration the way I felt this morning when I heard about the date, or how I reacted when I thought she was in danger, I might have felt more than I was supposed to. I was… angry and anxious and… Damnit! Does that really mean I like her? Couldn't it simply be the care and attention a boss would have over his subordinate? I mean, after all, any other person who cares for his people would have felt the same way after hearing them shouting like that over the phone. Right?'

Just as Ji-Won was debating over these matters, silently considering which thread of thought to pick and analyze first, his eyes unexpectedly met Su-Jin's. 

A second later Ji-Won gave a start. 

The young woman's face was carrying a look of expectancy. The air around her was calm, yet, a sense of inquisitiveness was brimming through every pore in her body. 

While reflecting the artificial light coming from above, Su-Jin's eyes looked very bright and warm. They were like two beams of sunlight, hitting Ji-Won straight through his chest, instantly penetrating through all the walls and breaking all the barriers Ji-Won had put up around his heart. 

Just like snow and ice slowly thawing at the very beginning of spring, Ji-Won felt his resolution melting. Try as he might, he simply couldn't fight against that open gaze. The pair of deep, black eyes and glimmering hazel one were being pulled towards each other like powerful magnets.

As though a switch had been pressed, something cracked inside Ji-Won. He felt everything growing suddenly quiet around him. Like the surface of a blackboard being wiped clean by a sponge, the inside of his head instantly became blank. There were no ideas, no worries or doubts, nothing that pulled at his mind, nor anything that consumed him.

Through the haziness of his daze, Ji-Won heard a soft voice calling out to him. 

"Director Kang, are you alright?" 

While Ji-Won was appearing to be dumbfounded, Su-Jin had taken the chance to inch a bit closer. She raised a hand, hesitating for a moment whether to touch the man's shoulder or his back. Then, thinking that it might not be proper to act so intimate, she eventually stretched her fingers and gently tapped at his arm once, before moving away slowly. 

"Director Kang, are you feeling sick again? Should I get you anything?"

During this short moment of utter blankness, Ji-Won's brain-to-mouth filter had also circuited. His hand snapped up, catching Su-Jin's retreating fingers between his own, while his mouth blurted out something out of the left field.

"Miss Park, what if I were to tell you that I was worried about you?" 

"Me?! Why would you be worried about me?" 

"Because of your date." Ji-Won quickly followed up with another unexpected statement.

At this point, Su-Jin was positively bewildered. Even if she ignored him holding onto her hand, it was very difficult to ignore his words.

'What is this person saying? What does my date have anything to do with anything? I wonder if Director Kang hit his head at some point and it's causing him to act so strangely.'

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Since she couldn't understand what was going on anymore, Su-Jin ultimately decided to remain silent and wait for Ji-Won's explanation. 

Luckily, he took the hint and soon began talking.

"When I called you earlier this evening there were noises coming from the other end. I also heard you shouting at someone, asking them to stop, so I thought you were in trouble."

After finishing his words, Ji-Won lowered his head and remained silent. The aura of quiet dejection swirling around him was so dark and heavy that it could produce clouds at any given moment. 

Su-Jin never could have anticipated this sudden shift in conversation. 

Not even a few minutes earlier they were talking about her boss's childhood experience and possible trauma and now, they were discussing her date. This was too big of a leap for her mind to process.

Thus, on the outside, Su-Jin was left dumbstruck, while a herd of wild horses was running rampant inside her heart.

Since Ji-Won's explanation only managed to throw her into an ever deeper pit of confusion, Su-Jin ultimately decided to try and clear things right away. 

Pressing both palms over her knees, she first took a sharp intake of air before speaking.

"Director Kang, let me see if I understand this correctly. When we talked over the phone, there was something that gave you the impression something wasn't right, that I was in some kind of danger, correct?"

Ji-Won nodded slowly. 

"Then, after finding out where I was, you wanted to come and check the situation. But, since you already drank, you could only ask Deputy Director Kim to drive you to the arcade. Is that right?"

Again, Ji-Won replied with a nod. 

"You went ahead and did all that, completely disregarding the fact that you might start feeling unwell?"

"Mn." Ji-Won hummed in response. 

Hearing that, Su-Jin's mouth twitched. Unsuspecting even to herself, the feistiness she had never exhibited in front of Ji-Won suddenly broke out. Like a torrent of water bursting through a dam, Su-Jin's words came out with the intention to drown Ji-Won.

"Director Kang, are you a masochist? Do you enjoy tormenting yourself like this? How in heaven's name could you do something like that, knowing full well what might happen?!

Under her scalding rebuke, Ji-Won trembled. His neck shrunk and he involuntarily pressed himself against the backrest.

But Su-Jin was far from done.. The repentant expression displayed all over Ji-Won's face only added more fuel to the already blazing fire.

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