Chapter 7: Ch7: I LoVE SkiN!!!!!!!

You either die a hero

Or live long enough to become the villain

-Batman

Emil arrived back at the barracks that morning, ready to take his squad on the ultimate mission. But when he entered the room, something was off. All his soldiers stood at attention, except for one. Rumpeled Foreskin was missing.

"Did anyone see where private Foreskin went?" Emil asked them.

"I don't know," Yui said in a gruff masculine voice.

Emil started at her for a second. She was  much large than yesterday, and uglier too. Her skin was also conspicuously stitched together like some kind of Frankenstein's monster.

"Hmmmmm," Emil hummed while deep in though. "And what's with this skinned body? Emil said, picking up the corpse of a young woman that had been stuffed under Rumpeled Foreskin's bed.

"Beats the shit out of me," private Shit Stain replied.

"Something very fishy is going on her," Emil said with a furled brow. "It must have been..."

...

...

...

"Private Shit Stain!" Emil pointed and yelled, "I sentence you to death by firing squad!"

Instantly the whole squad opened fire, riddling him with bullet holes that would make a block of swiss cheese jealous.

"Excellent job men. Private Foreskin can rest easy now."

"Yeah that guy was a total fag," One of them soldiers replied.

"Yeah, he was totally meat watching me in the shower," another agreed.

"Wait!" The now alive corpse of the woman shouted at them, pointing towards the disgusting malformed Yui, "I'm the real Yui! He's Rumpeled Foreskin and he skinned me!"

"Rumpeled Foreskin! I'm shocked! How could you do that to Yui?" Emil asked, putting his hand gently on his shoulder.

"I.. hehe.. I... hehe I love skin! I LOVE SKIN! SSSKKKIIINNNN!!!!!" he shouted, covering Emil in spot globs.

"You were like a brother to me," Emil said, with a single tear running down his face.

BAM!

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Emil shot Rumpeled Foreskin's head into a fine red paste with his pump action 1920 trench gun. Bloody goo painted the walls.

"Here's your skin back Yui." Emil said, handing her the tattered remains of her skin.

"Thank you Emil," she replied and give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

A few bandages and a medpack and everyone was as good as new. Even private Shit Stain made a full recovery.

"Okay we're down a man, and we need to hire a replacement fast. But where?" Emil wondered.

"We could hire a hooker," private Shit Stain suggested.

"Now's not the time private Shit Stain. If only Rumpeled Foreskin were here. He'd know what to do," Emil groaned.

"We can ask his ghost using my Luigi board," One of the privates said, passing his board up to Emil.

"Brilliant! Now how does it work?"

"We all just put our fingers on this here glass circle and ask the ghost a question. Then it will move to the letters and write a message from the dead."

"Okay let's do it! What should we do private Foreskin?" Emil asked, pretending to talk to Rumpeled's ghost.

They each put their fingers on the glass piece and it spelled out the phrase:

I

L O V E

S K I N

"Let's try again," Emil said, "Where can we find a replacement for you?"

I

L O V E

S K I N

"Okay one more time."

I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N I L O V E S K I N

"Well that was a waste of time," Emil said, then threw the Luigi board against the wall, smashing it to pieces.

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