Chapter 16: ss 4

Side Story :4 His Master From Another World (I)

Someone asked why he was doing that, they could presume that he fell in love, but that was nonsense.

Anakin just returned what he received. No, it was rather just a trivial reward compared to what he received.

Kindness started with ‘putting effort into something even though there was no need for it’.

The name Anakin, or the same quality of food as she ate, would not have been given to him if she hadn’t cared.

So Anakin, who was not good at expressing, tried to show her the greatest favour he could show.

For example, this moment.

His master’s slender arms wrapped around Anakin’s neck. Because it was the master’s order, he put his hand on her waist, but did not cross the line. He thought unnecessary physical contact would be offensive.

When he did not kiss her, the master instead opened her mouth halfway and moved her tongue to make a wet sound.

Their eyes met. No passion was buried in her green eyes. While inhaling each other’s breath, Anakin carefully raised his hand and brushed the back of her head. This was because he remembered how people usually kissed in the back alley.

As she took a step back, Anakin mimicked her half-heartedly when his master started making some sounds.

At the same time, he stared at the men across, and the men who had been watching them seemed to feel threatened only then, so they turned around, kicking their tongues.

When Anakin closed the door, his master separated their attached bodies and asked if they had returned. When he affirmed, she sighed with relief.

“Ha, we’ve crossed a hurdle. I’m sorry for asking you to kiss me suddenly. Were you in a bad mood?”

“No.”

“No, you have to be offended. This has nothing to do with protecting me.”

So…… These words from his master confused Anakin. Anakin was chosen to die instead of her.

That meant that the significance of Anakin’s existence could never be more than a substitute or tool. Even though no one cared about how the tool felt.

“From now on, if I act intimately…… Just say no. If I make you do something unpleasant…… Don’t forgive me.”

His master talked as if he had a choice. Even though it was her decision only to choose their relationship, to listen to him…… Anakin definitely felt like he was standing on the same line as her.

It was weird, he didn’t think so.

The steps of Anakin, who had roughly thrown the priest in front of the old man’s house, became urgent. After knocking on the door to wake up the sleeping coachman, Anakin began to run to the end of his breath.

His master was alone. It hasn’t been a long time, but he didn’t know. Since the distance to the lake was quite long, his inability to hear her amplified his anxiety.

As she once told him, Anakin dared to wonder. Why she treated him so well, what kind of life she had lived, and what she wanted to do in the future……. He had never felt this way before.

If you’re curious about someone, you have to pay a lot of attention to that person, but Anakin’s life had been too dry. Ah, so when he saw his master quietly dipping her legs in the lake, Anakin’s running and breathing slowly subsided.

“You’re really fast.”

So it seemed that Anakin was just scared.  Why did he feel that way, and what should he do if he felt that way?

He didn’t know anything.

Unlike the wooden sword, which gave him the strength to escape from the mud, the master in front of him was incomparably precious and strange.

It was his first time to have something as precious as her in his life.….

Anakin carefully hugged his master. Her head touched his chest.

The sound of birds, the sound of bugs, the sound of crunching steps……. On the way back, he heard a lot of sounds, and among them, Anakin listened the most to his master’s even breathing.

His master, who said she had come from another world, sometimes asked Anakin unknown questions.

It wasn’t just a question. Anakin used to understand half of his master’s ‘private storie that were not orders.’ And his master seemed to know that Anakin didn’t understand.

Although he might not have understood well now, he hoped that one day he could truly empathise.

And he hoped the day would come when he could notice what the questions she asked contained and what were the answers she wanted from him. He couldn’t understand, but he wanted to understand, so Anakin listened to every word of his master’s as if picking up acorns.

The question of the day was like this.

“How would you feel if the world you live in was a big play?”

“Are you talking about a play?”

“Yes. Everything is set, and you have to move according to your role. You may not be the main character. It may be a supporting role, or maybe it’s a passer-by role close to the background.”

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Today was the first time he watched a play, so Anakin didn’t know what the character’s life was. However, it was only natural for him to follow the given life. If he did not conform to an unreasonable life, the suffering was solely Anakin’s share.

If he hadn’t been abandoned by his parents who he didn’t even know, would something have changed if he had been chosen first by someone other than his master?

Anakin was poor in imagination, and he was busy with the reality that was just around the corner to think about what didn’t happen. Furthermore, ‘things that couldn’t be helped’ happened too frequently in the world.

“I can’t help it.”

“Why? Aren’t you angry?”

“Well, I’m doing my best to live my life now. That’s enough…… I think.”

“Even if you’re not the main character? Even if you’re deprived for no reason of things like justifiable attention and feelings that should be returned to you?t”

“A knight is not someone who gets anyone’s attention anyway. If he wanted that, he would have chosen another job.”

“You really don’t have any will or goal.”

Therefore, Anakin was not angry even though his master said it half mockingly. Rather, he thought it might be. There was no reason to live, but likewise, there was no reason to kill himself, so he did not die.

Perhaps all of that was Anakin’s own effort to live.

“Does it look like that? I thought I was trying to live my life. Everyone is making the same effort, so I don’t think it’s noticeable.”

“…Sorry, you’re right. Everyone is living. Just as the shadow gets darker only when the light gets closer, such efforts must be visible only when death gets closer.”

It was half brought up to agree with his master, but when she apologised, Anakin lost his words without knowing what to do.

Anakin regretted not improving his way with words for the first time. It wasn’t a criticism.…. Anakin chose a different path rather than lengthening his words again to create another misunderstanding.

“In fact, not everyone needs to know that I’m trying. Only you, my master, needs to know. Isn’t that so?”

He didn’t know why he still had to live, but he secretly vowed not to die in vain until he finished his duties for his master who chose him. And the master somehow looked like she was going to cry.

Why she looked like that, Anakin found out the next afternoon.

His master said Anakin was not real.

Anakin was just a character in the book she read. And she apologised to Anakin for taking away the person he would love.

He was confused because too much information came in at once, but Anakin knew she wasn’t talking nonsense. There were also quite a few parts that made him suspicious.

There were many orphans, but Anakin was the only orphan who did not have a name.

Children who wanted to become mercenaries were common, but when it was time to leave, the director wrote a letter of recommendation to him, saying why don’t you become a knight? It was all the more bizarre because he was usually not interested in Anakin.

“What if I don’t act as I’m written?”

“If it doesn’t flow according to the contents of the book, it will be modified by the causality. For example, even if I’m cut off by your sword right away, I won’t die. Since the book hasn’t said that I’m going to die yet.”

Most of all…… No one he met in his life had such gaps in their lives. There was maybe one person.

Because one couldn’t fill a full cup with nothing.

“You mean… you mean I’ll fall in love with you someday?”

If his master had read all the ‘story’, if she knew the future……. Anakin suddenly asked a presumptuous question.

“Will you fall in love with me?”

All the emptiness he had to go through was actually for a reason.

“No, I won’t love you. So don’t love me either.”

However, his master cut Anakin off at once. She seemed to say that it should never happen.

It was like that. His master said she wanted to go back to her original place.

Anyone’s love would only be a hindrance to her now.

After finishing her words, his master suddenly looked at the cliff and said she wanted to fall off.

Anakin was afraid that he had made a mistake and offended her by his sudden remark.

Of course, even that was an illusion. Self-consciousness must have become excessive just because his master gave him a little choice.

When he lowered his eyes out of embarrassment, she smiled and recommended a pie. When he closed his mouth and rebelled timidly, she poked the bite of pie into his closed lips.

The owner gave it to him, but he couldn’t resist it, so Anakin soon opened his mouth and bit the pie. It was sweet.

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