Chapter 76: 63

Chapter 63 - No one wants to let the small loyal dog become cold T^T

I stood close to the side of the two people, watching helplessly as Ye Xiao and Ye Lan’s bodies turned cold, and could only feel like my chest was empty. The night rain and bloody water snaked past the soles of my feet, but it didn’t touch me at all.

They couldn’t see me, and couldn’t hear my voice. I reached out to touch them and passed through just like a phantom, I couldn’t figure out the situation, so I blankly asked: “Is this a dream?”

“It’s all real.” A familiar voice answered me.

That black-clothed man with the fox mask was also standing amongst the rain and fog, watching everything attentively and indifferently, unmoved by the great waves.


I looked at him and became cold all over for some reason, so I took two steps back in fear: “You….. You’re not A-Tan.”

That person laughed grimly: “Of course I’m not Ye Tan. You should really just die if even you don’t recognise him.”


“What about A-Tan? He….. where is he?” I had a really bad premonition in my heart.

“Hmph, you want to see him?” The man took a step forward and grabbed my wrist with a ghastly smile, “We’re just in time, ah, we can still send him off into his last journey.”


He squeezed, and the surrounding sounds of the rain stopped abruptly, turning into an oppressive deathly stillness. The humid, white marble tomb glowed with a cold light, only the altar lamps flickered endlessly.

I recognised this, it was the tunnel where One Sword Tomb would throw away corpses and discard their swords.

There was a mountain of broken blades and corpses with missing limbs under my feet.

He looked at me, full of interest, and laughed quietly: “The trouble is, Ye Tan’s body isn’t intact, and I don’t know if you will still be able to tell it apart? You like him so much, surely you will be able to tell which hand is his, and which chunk of collarbone is his, right?”

I didn’t know how to react, all I could pay attention to was the heavy trail of fresh blood that extended from the pile of skeletons all the way to the doorway.

It looked like the traces left behind by someone who couldn’t stand as the crawled out step by step.

At the end of this trail of blood, I could faintly make out half of a person lying dormant on the ground, their breath was weak and they were firmly holding onto the handle of a longsword. The had struggled to crawl in the direction of the exit, but their body was indeed powerless to keep moving forward.


They only made it halfway.


“A….. A-Tan…..?” My mind was blank, and I mechanically moved closer to that figure, “A-Tan? A-Tan?”

It really was Ye Tan.

His whole body was stained with blood, his chest unbearably broken, with both legs cut off at the middle and his left arm dragging behind him, his joints already shattered. His two beautiful eyes were suffocated with despair.


That person began to speak indifferently: “Ye Tan learned that you died at Zhongli Garden while he was in seclusion, and in his urge to go out and find you, he went into qi deviation1 . I respect him for being able to stubbornly break the sword array with half of his meridians destroyed, but unfortunately he wasn’t able to get out of One Sword Tomb alive after all.”

“A-Tan? A-Tan…..” I wanted to hug him, wanted to help him check his wounds, wanted to let him rest for a bit, “He’s not dead yet, there’s still time. Why don’t we save him, he shouldn’t be abandoned here….. A-Tan, A-Tan, don’t move, look at me….. I’m here….. look at me…..”

But he didn’t look at me.

He still struggled towards the exit in vain.

I could only kneel next to him, helplessly watching him sink into hell.


That’s right…… I….. I was already dead. So, it’s just because I’m dead?

I can’t….. do anything?


“Ha….. really pathetic. I’ll help you.” The man with the fox mask seemed to be in a good mood as he flicked my forehead with his finger.

I only felt my whole body become heavy, and couldn’t stop myself from falling to the ground. It was only then that I realised that I could feel the ground.

“Master…..?” Ye Tan blankly stared as I suddenly appeared, the hand unwaveringly holding onto the sword loosened, and he grabbed onto the hem of my clothes, “Master? Is it really you?”

“It’s me It’s me, it’s not an illusion.” His whole body was wounded, I didn’t dare touch him, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to hug him, I didn’t want him to be so cold.

Ye Tan eagerly said: “My subordinates said….. you had an accident….. turns out nothing happened, that’s good, that’s good.”

I hurriedly nodded: “Yes, I’m fine, I’ve been good, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“This subordinate….. told you I would protect you….. this subordinate will have to break my promise….. I’m sorry.” A short moment ago, his eyes had been dry and death-like, but now they became misty as he looked at me. Ye Tan smiled weakly, and sadly said: “I ask that you forget about this subordinate as quickly as possible, hopefully….. they will be able to protect you afterwards. I’m really….. unwilling.”

I shook my head: “A-Tan, you told me before to wait until I came across a person I like, and then I would be happier doing any ordinary thing with them than with others. I thought about it for a long time, you are the best one, I only want you.”

Ye Tan was stunned, and spoke with a trembling voice: “This subordinate is already unable to accompany you. I….. would rather not have heard these words, would rather the person you liked wasn’t me.”

I didn’t dare let him see me crying, so I rubbed my forehead against him: “It’s fine it doesn’t matter, A-Tan, this is all a dream. You’re sleeping, it will be better when you wake up. I’ll wait for you, so you wait for me too.”

Ye Tan pursed his lips and tried to smile: “…..You …..turns out you….. can also lie to people.”

I repeatedly said: “I’m not lying to you, I’ve never lied to you. It won’t end like this….. I promised I would take you to the Sword Pavilion and buy lots of big boats, and I would take you to Tianshan to the sword washing pond, and to the magnificent landscapes under the heavens, I promised you I would make up for all the festivals in the world. We have a deal, A-Tan, believe me, I won’t go back on my word.”

“Yes….. good.” Ye Tan gave a shallow smile, “You have never lied to me, I believe you.”

He was already at his limit, so he finally spoke to me in a soft voice: “Then….. good night, my Master.”


I hugged Ye Tan’s ice-cold corpse, paralysed as though the strength had been drained from my body.

“Why is this happening?” I stuck close to his breathless cheeks, arching my body in pain, “Why so suddenly….. there was no warning….. how could such a big accident happen?”

“Suddenly? You’re telling me it was sudden?!” The man with the fox mask abruptly became angry, he grabbed me by the hair and ruthlessly pushed me into the floor.

“Since the first day you arrived, Zhongli Zixi has been keeping an eye on you, he buried so many foreshadowing clues along the way, and what were you doing? This Jianghu is turbulent and unpredictable, everyone struggles, broken and bloodied, in order to survive, and you? Have you ever been even a little bit wary?! Did you seriously think of yourself as lucky enough to be able to peacefully grow old without doing anything? You were too complacent and reliant on your power, simply ridiculous! Any young child in the ordinary world would have done a hundred thousand times better than you!”

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He laughed coldly a few times, his cold voice chilling me to the bone, and gnashed his teeth as he spoke: “——Jun Xuanheng, sometimes, I really hate your excessive naivete.”


My heat grew more and more cold.

He wasn’t wrong….. I always felt like the Jianghu and I had nothing to do with each other, it was them who were licking blood off the edge of a knife, they were also the ones who were walking on thin ice, they were the ones living, and they were the ones dying. I relied on Ye Tan wholeheartedly protecting me, and avoided accidents….. and was still deluded enough to believe I would be able to make a comeback from falling into the Second Young Master’s hands.

I was the one that didn’t protect them.

I was obviously their Master, the one leading them, the one ruling over them, and the one protecting them.

But I didn’t do anything. Nothing was done properly.

I sent each one of them into a dead end.


“Is this unbearable? This is just one death, that’s all.” After briefly losing control, the man with the fox mask regained his apathy, and mocked, “Moreover, this can’t even be considered the most miserable one.”

“You….. what do you mean?” My heart skipped a beat, and I turned back to look at him, “A-Tan….. and I….. we haven’t died just once?”


Could it be that this….. is not the first time I’ve lived in this world?

Moreover, this world….. has already restarted several times?


“What you see today was precisely the ending of the first life. Afterwards, I exhaustively tried all kinds of methods, tried for countless reincarnations….. but I couldn’t let him meet a happy end. He only likes you, ah….. but this naive, childish, incompetent Jun Xuanheng is also a flawless white jade2 Jun Xuanheng. Even I don’t understand….. in my opinion, this life is clearly the toughest and most oppressive one.” He sighed, frustrated, and his cold and indifferent face finally showed a trace of loneliness.

“But this flawless white jade Jun Xuanheng has no ability to protect him. Yet the vicious and merciless, exceptionally talented Jun Xuanheng, who can keep him safe and sound for his entire life, he doesn’t like at all.”

“You….. you are…..” I gradually reacted, and a shocking answer appeared in my mind.


I should have guessed who he was earlier.

If it weren’t for him using Ye Tan’s appearance to mislead me….. I would have guessed it a long time ago.


“Yes, I’m you. But I’m not qualified to use the name Jun Xuanheng, he wasn’t willing to bestow this name to me——this name belongs exclusively to the flawless white jade version of you.” The man took off his mask, exposing a face that was exactly the same as Ye Tan’s, but with cold and indifferent eyes, which made him seem increasingly unfamiliar and terrifying, “I’m a voluntary sacrifice, my name is Jun Wuwang3 .”


I was shocked.

I made a copy of myself?

How is this possible?

This….. in this life, its prohibited.


The people who violate this prohibition….. will be stripped of their citizenship4 , stripped of all their powers, and reduced to ordinary people.

He knew and I was thinking, and smiled: “Yes. I really am at my wit’s end, this is my last method, and this is also our last reincarnation. When this reincarnation ends, regardless of whether the outcome is good or bad, you and I will be of the same ordinary flesh and blood as everyone in this sub-world, from now on until we return to nothingness.”

I only nodded lightly.

After living through a hundred thousand cold days in this life, I’ve long since grown tired of it.

But in exchange for being able to meet Ye Tan, it could be said that I was satisfied.


“We….. between the two of us…..” I stumbled as I asked, “Who is the real body, and who is the replica?”

If I was the real body, doesn’t that mean I took all my suffering and bad memories, put them in the replica, and selfishly sacrificed him?

If I was the replica, then my meeting with Ye Tan….. did I just steal it by chance?


“…..I don’t know.” Jun Wuwang said.

Me: “Huh?”

Jun Wuwang laughed bitterly: “Our two identities were decided by drawing lots. After replicating myself, I erased all the data and randomly picked one to import into.”

…..Sigh, that really is my style.


I couldn’t bear the sadness in my heart. We both have the same origin, but our circumstances couldn’t be any more different. Jun Wuwang indifferently said: “You don’t need to pity me, it would be the same for you. Have you ever thought about what you would do if Ye Tan fell in love with somebody else? That is how I feel.”

I thought about it: “If A-Tan fell in love with somebody else….. I would also want to protect him from afar, it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t see me.”

“That is indeed what you thought, so you reincarnated, and that is indeed what you did.” Jun Wuwang revealed a rare, sincere, shallow smile, and the vicious aura on his body seemed to decrease a lot, “There have been many tragic examples of real and fake bodies fighting each other after replicating themselves, but actually, you are an exception. And only you….. deserve this happy ending.”


I couldn’t help but ask about the thing I was most curious about: “You….. why are you using A-Tan’s appearance?”

Jun Wuwang paused, and spoke in a low voice: “Because I know I won’t have many opportunities to see him in this lifetime. In this life, I will seclude myself at the sword pond in Tianshan, and drink alongside this reflection in the water, then I won’t be too lonely.”


“Let me tell you some more good news.” He bent down and helped me stand up, “This hell….. is mine, not yours. The suffering from these hundreds of years of reincarnations, you don’t need to remember any of it….. after all, he only likes you as you are now.”

He tapped on the cinnabar spot between my brows with his cold fingertips, and softly said: “Wake up.”

 

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1 走火入魔 lit. catch fire and become a demon. Term used when one suffers an accident during cultivation and goes mad, usually results in grievous bodily harm. Top.

2 Used to describe someone as perfect and without faults. Carries connotations of unrealistic idealisation. Top.

3 His name literally means ‘hopeless’. Top.

4 Actual term is 現世的戶籍 lit. household/census register of this life. This household registration, also known as huji or hukou, is a system used in china to officially register individuals and their details. Top.

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