Chapter 73: Chapter 73: Understanding the Past

Chapter 73:

Understanding the Past

Selene was nervous. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't. There were many pieces that need to be put in place. She would be very busy building the foundations for the life she would have with Jace and the rest of them. Her priority, of course, was Jace.

Thus, she had one more piece to obtain. That piece was vital to healing Jace's mother, and possibly...what was left of her family. That was her mother, Olivia St.Claire.

Ever since she heard about Nadine, she was reminded of her mother. She kept this secret despite how close she had become to everyone. After all, she didn't know what would happen with her. Would Selene be forced to kill her mother, just like her father?

If her mother didn't care for her at all, and if she was just like her father, then Selene would have no choice but force her to help before getting rid of her. After all, her mother was just like Nadine. A Healer.

She had completely forgotten until Liana had sparked the memory inside of her. It was one of the biggest reasons she began to doubt that her mother never cared for her. Selene was a child, and like children do, they get hurt. For Selene, that was even more evident due to the harsh treatment she received from her father.

One night, after a particularly bad training session, Selene was having trouble sleeping due to the pain of the lashes on her back. Usually, Selene could heal from wounds inflicted upon her, but that night the damage was worse than it had ever been. Her healing just wasn't keeping up.

Even at the time, Selene thought it was a dream. So, she understood how she could have forgotten it. Her mother came to her room that night. She snuck in, as if she wasn't supposed to be there. She made soothing noises and placed her hands over her back. There was a soft, warm glow as her back slowly began to feel better.

Putting the pieces together, Selene figured it out quickly. Her mother was an Ascended with the unique gift of Healing. This was a revelation that opened up another path for Selene. If that memory was true, then Selene could recover so much that was lost. At the same time, she could acquire something that would speed up Delilah's recovery.

That's why Selene found herself at her mother's study. She knew where she was at all times. The Mercer Family kept tabs on her, and it was child's play to get in. In the dark, she was there, alone. "No...I'm never alone." Selene smiled to herself, holding her hand to her chest.

She could feel him there. It was faint, but there was a resonance of Jace. It was comforting and gave her the strength to call out to those glowing dark midnight blue eyes. The power quickly faded from them as her mother realized who was there, and that's when it all began. Reconciliation.

"First question," Selene stated coolly, "Did you ever think of me as your daughter?"

It was a question that went through Selene's head for years. She believed she knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from her mouth, in her words. This was why she was so nervous. Confronting her mother was a bundle of emotions she wouldn't have been ready for if not for the tiny comfort she felt in her heart.

Spending time with Jace, Liana, and Kiera gave her the ability to confront her mother like this. It was that feeling of Jace in her heart that steadied herself. Her interactions with him, and the stories he told her about his mother were enough to allow Selene to give her own mother a chance. On top of that, she knew how important family was after diving into Jace's memories.

There were some that could not be forgiven, but even if after all this time there was a chance she would be able to have some semblance of that...she would welcome it. Her mother was taken aback by the question, and there was a pain in her eyes. Selene knew this wasn't an easy first question, even so her mother answered it.

"You've never not been my daughter, Selene," she stated with a pained voice, "I'll admit...I lost sight of that at some point. That is my shame I will forever carry."

"...I do not want your shame," Selene told her firmly, though relaxed as she continued her questions, "Second question. Did you use me as a trophy willingly?"

"I..." Her mother paused for a moment, and Selene knew she heard the keyword that Selene used in her question, "No, not willingly. At least, not at first. That is the shame I carry. I was caught in the high after a while. It felt...good to be looked at positively, rather than as just a simple tool for your father."

"So, instead of doing something, you let me be the tool instead..." Selene did not mince words, her mother wincing at the truth of it.

"I..!" Her mother lurched forward as if to rebuke her words, though quickly after sunk back in her chair and responded quietly, her tone regretful, "No, you're right. That is why it is my shame. You deserved better."

"Then why did you not give me better?" Selene felt the anger rise in her as she spoke, "When I needed you most, you ignored me."

"That...is my failure," she told her, Selene tried to listen with a level head, "It is too late to change the past. Anything I say would just be an excuse."

Selene had her answer from this interaction. Her mother did not willingly abandon her, though she wasn't completely free of blame.

"So, father kept you from me and you grew dunk on the attention of high society," Selene took a breath, relaxing back against the couch she leaned against, "Is that about right?"

"...Yes," Her mother nodded sullenly, "That is the simplest version."

All her time in healthcare, Selene learned a lot about mental health. There was such a coping mechanism when you felt hopeless and helpless. To withdraw into what you feel is safety, harmful or not. Her mother realized it too late, but that put a lot into perspective for Selene.

"Let's move on," Selene focused for a moment on the comforting feeling in her chest that came from Jace, and with it her nerves began to relax; taking a deep breath, she continued, "Alright, next question. How much do you drink?"

"W-What?" Her mother was obviously confused by this question, but it was something Selene wanted squared away, "I'm not sure. I-"

"How much...do you drink," Selene interrupted, stating the question more firmly.

"...About a bottle or two a day," Her mother answered reluctantly with a bit of shame, "I just started this one."

"I see..." Selene sighed, as it wasn't an answer she wanted to hear.

"Is there a problem?" She asked, almost afraid to do so.

"Possibly," Selene answered honestly, "I suggest you cut back. A lot."

"...If that is what you wish, then I'll gladly do so," Her mother smiled softly, "I might need some detox, but-"

"Then do so," Selene stated simply, not giving time for an excuse, "I do not want to see you drunk in front of Jace. Is that understood?"

"In font of...Jace?" She sounded quite taken aback before her face lit up with hope, "Does that mean I'll meet him? You'll let me-"

Holding up a hand, she silenced her mother. Selene wasn't sure if her mother would meet Jace yet, but if she did, she didn't want her to be drunk. If possible, she didn't want her drinking at all. Jace had bad memories with drinking, and while he worked at Radiance, that didn't mean he had to see it even at home.

"We'll discuss that later," Selene sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose, though she knew her mother was excited about the prospect, "The final question I have before my deal is simple."

Selene dropped her hand from the bridge of her nose and stared her mother down intently.

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"Did you...Heal me when I was a child?" Selene braced herself for the answer.

She wanted to hear it from her. Was this memory real or just a dream? If it was real...

"Yes," She stated with no hesitation, tears forming in her eyes, "You were awake?"

"It was kind of hard to sleep," Selene stated, the nerves in her heart relaxing as the memory was confirmed, "Father would have been mad if he found out."

"Oh...He was," She smiled, though there was no regret in her eyes, "It was the one time I ever truly acted like a mother. If you don't mind..."

Motioning for herself to stand, Selene nodded. She watched with bated breath as her mother stood before her. Her mother was wearing a sheath dress with an asymmetrical color scheme of black and grey. It was a dress that zipped up in the back and fit her form rather well.

Selene had always admired how beautiful her mother was. With her shoulder length silver hair that fell in waves, to the flawlessness of her golden-brown skin. Her cheekbones weren't too pronounced, but just pronounced enough that they gave her a sense of elegance.

"Healing takes your own energy," Her mother explained, though Selene already knew this, even so she listened quietly, "Sometimes, the injury will be created upon the healer's own body, though it is rare and depends on the injury. Often, instead of taking your energy you can choose to take the injury."

This was also something Selene knew from her own research. It was said that Nadine's arm had taken on some of the damage from healing Jace. What she inflicted upon herself in order to finish healing him. In time, she was able to recover from the physical injury, but the effects of pushing herself passed the limits lingered for years afterwards. Eventually, pushing herself past them again proved fatal.

"I'm not that strong, though I'm stronger than most," She continued to explain, seeming to be a bit nervous, "When I healed you, it didn't take much as it wasn't life threatening. The energy was worth it, but your father...Well, he found out, and as you said he was quite upset. You might even say furious."

Taking a breath, her mother turned her back to Selene. Selene's own breath was caught in her throat as her heart raced. "Is this what I think it is?" She wondered, her emotions becoming chaotic. Reaching behind her, her mother began to unzip the dress.

"He was angry I had healed you," She told her softly, "Said that it took away the point of the training and of the punishment. So, he told me that if I wanted to heal you...that I should at least show it. To take responsibility for disobeying him."

Sure enough, Selene's suspicions were correct. As her mother undid her dress, showing off her back, she saw the scars that only came from a switch whip. Selene's face hardened as she saw the interconnecting lines. She recalled her mother hardly ever wore open back dresses, and now she knew why.

"My natural healing isn't as good as yours," She stated as if trying to make a joke, though Selene could hear the sadness in her tone, "I wasn't able to heal completely, but I don't regret it at all. I only regret not doing more for you. I-"

Selene moved forward with swift, soundless steps. She had heard enough and was now moving based on pure emotion. It was very rare of her to react on impulse, only happening when she was with Jace. However, what was remaining of her love and sympathy for her mother was brought out in this moment.

While the scars were not as bad as they could be, there were many of them. White lines crisscrossing upon her slender, toned back. It reminded Selene a lot of Jace's scars. With her hands falling upon the scars, she became lost in thought for a moment.

This movement surprised her mother, freezing her in place as she went quiet. Selene's fingers traced the scars along her upper back before moving them to the zipper of the dress. There, she began to slowly and carefully zip up the dress until her mother was fully clothed again.

"...Quite the ugly sight, aren't they?" Her mother asked, slowly turning around and holding her arms to herself awkwardly, "I should have done more for you, no matter what happened to me."

Her eyes were downcast as Selene stood before her, as if she was ashamed to meet her daughter's gaze. "Honestly...they said the same thing." Selene sighed, finding it a bit amusing.

"No," Selene stated quietly, "No to them being ugly, and no to you doing more for me."

"But-!" Her mother exclaimed, finally looking up at her with incredulity.

"No," Selene said again, this time more firmly, "Sit."

Selene motioned towards the chair before turning away to return to her spot against the couch. Her mother seemed to raise a hand, as if to reach out for her, though only slightly before she thought better of it. Listening to her daughter, she sat back down with some reluctance.

Selene now understood something. The severity of punishment for the one time her mother helped her was heavy. If she had continued to help her or show her favor...her mother would have died. Olivia chose self-preservation. Something she could hardly blame her mother for.

Even so, there was a tiny part of her that wished she had. That she had struggled until the very end. However, if she had, then she wouldn't be here now to share in her life. To share in the changes that were coming. Selene couldn't just forgive her right away though. She would have to earn it.

"Now then," Selene took a breath, leaning once more against the couch and facing her mother, "I have other questions, but those can wait. I came to you for more than this."

"Whatever it is," Her mother told her softly, "If it is within my power, I will do my best."

"It isn't something easy," Selene warned her, steadying herself for what came next, "What I need of you is simple. You are one of the very few healers in the world, and I need you to help in healing someone."

A silence fell between them as her mother looked down in thought. Selene knew that Mana Degeneration wasn't easy to heal. In fact, she surmised that even the best Healer couldn't do it by themselves. Without her mother, she could still heal Delilah with what technology and medical knowledge the facility she had contained, but with her mother's help it would be much easier and much faster.

"Selene..." Her mother called to her gently, looking up with a determined look in her eyes, "Even if it kills me, I will do all I can to prove myself to you. What do you need me to do?"

"First, don't talk about dying," Selene told her softly, "You will be of no help to me, nor will you be able to prove anything if you die. So, for now. Stay alive and well. Cut back on your drinking. I'll contact you soon."

Her mother went quiet for a moment before nodding. Selene turned to leave, though hesitated. Hovering by the door, she turned her head slightly.

"...Take care of yourself, mother," Selene told her softly, being completely genuine in her words.

With that, she took her leave quickly towards the beacon in her heart.

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All that aside, thank you for reading and I hope you've enjoyed these chapters, as well as the story so far. I hope for those who celebrate the holidays, whatever they may be, that you all have an amazing time. Sending love and good vibes your way.

Look forward to more chapters in the future! <3

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