Chapter 193: Agony

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CHAPTER 193

"An eye for an eye is the aspect of life that people should learn not to follow. No good would come off from killing Xander and you know it."

"It would give me joy knowing that my parents' death wasn't in vain," Jade responded firmly with unwavering eyes.

"You and I know that is a very big lie. You can never get any joy from it. You would be left in anguish and always feeling empty for as long as you live."

"Then it is my cross to bear and not yours. Asia, come, let us leave." 

Holding her friend's hand, Jade made her way past every one of them and left the house.

She noticed that her car was brought to Xander's house. Without giving it much thought she walked towards it, took her key from the driver waiting by it, and ready to take her home. "Thanks, I'll drive."

"Yes, ma." He handed her the keys and stepped back, opening the door for her.

***

By the time Macy arrived, Jay gave her the sad news. She did not wait to see anyone and immediately turned on her heels and entered the car.

"Macy, wait, where are you going?" Jay called after her.

"To find Jade. To find my friend and be there for her."

"Fine, just be okay too, alright?" A single nod of her head was all that she gave and she entered the car back, directing the driver on where he should take her to.

***

~Jade's Apartment~

Jade and Asia had already gotten home. The first thing she did was get something for Asia to eat to nourish herself back. 

"Here, you should eat, it would help with your appetite and relax your body for a better rest."

"I do not want to eat Jade. I want to talk with you instead."

"I am sorry, Asia but now is not the time."

"I know but I am not hungry."

"Asia you have been without proper food for months. You would need to eat to regain all of your strength back."

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"I would if you eat too."

"I can't and you know that Asia. So please, let's not argue about this." She dropped the food before her friend in the living room and went into her bedroom.

The second she closed the door, Jade slammed her body on it and slowly slid down to the ground. Her lips parted and her mouth open wide as a piercing soundless cry escaped her lips and the dears she had successfully held back since finally was released.

Jade wept out her eyes, crying all of her pain and sorrows away. It had been hard ho0lding back and saying all of those words acting tough when all she wanted to do was cry till the day she would die.

Her heart hurt so much that she wanted to rip her body open and pull it off. All through her talk with him, she longed for him to hold her close but at the same time, she was hating him so much. It was like all of her was torn in two and she did not know which to go with.

She did not want anything to do with him and as much as her mind tried to enforce that law in her, her body refused to allow it to happen.

Right now she was feeling so many things and anytime she felt torn in her to allow that, her heart would hurt her making her feel a certain different kind of pain. She never asked for any of this, be it the mate bond or whatsoever but now she got it.

All she wanted was to hate him with a passion so that she could carry out her revenge but with the thought of killing him, came the pain she dreaded.

"No…" Once more she was back to crying.

She did not even know what it was she was crying about. She wanted to mourn her parents, have the chance to hold them close in her arms and weep but even that privilege was taken away from her and now she had nothing left and the love which she had banked on to get her through the whole ordeal, that love failed her woefully.

Her heart ached to be with him and it hurt her that she couldn't but then how could she when the very face and thought of him brought back her grief.

She did not know what to do anymore. Jade blamed herself for allowing herself to love. She believed she had caused her own problem herself and did not want anything anymore.

With nothing more, she moved from the ground and went to the bed as she hugged the pillow in her arms and wept, in the process, she saw the photo of her parents that she had managed to print out from her backed-up pictures.

Quickly Jade picked it up and ran her fingers through it.

"Father, mother, why did you two have to go? Why did you have to leave me? Why father, why? You knew what was happening, why didn't you avoid it and why does my heart still want him even after what he has done? Why? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!"

She screamed her heart out, ignoring the fact that Asia was just right next to her in the leaving room.

"Why? I miss you both. I cannot handle it alone. No. Please come back to me and let it all end. I need you mum, I need you dad. I am all alone. I miss you so much."Her lips quivered and her salty tears rolled into her mouth.

Everything in life felt meaningless to her right now.

Asia who was still staring at the food Jade had made her suddenly heard her friend scream and ran up to her bedroom.

"Jade! Jade!"

She pushed the door open only to find her friend on her bed with her pillows thrown on the ground and she moving to her table and scattering the things on it.

"Oh my God, Jade!"

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