Chapter 89: Fears

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CHAPTER 89

"I should say that about you and Jay. You two have become a couple real quick."

"Why waste precious time? Let your soul be entwined and let love sweep you off your feet." As she spoke, she threw her hands up in the air like a love-struck fool.

Jade could only shake her head at her friend's behaviour. She knew she wasn't completely in love with Jay but with the way things were going, she was heading in that direction pretty fast.

It wasn't that she was not happy for her, no, she was perfectly fine and okay with it. In fact, anything to make Macy happy she rooted for it.

Regardless, she needed to slow down a bit so she was sure that she wasn't rushing things to cover up her hurt. Like she was just using him to fill up the void within.

"What? Stop shaking your head like I am one little girl who knows nothing about love." Jade paused in her tracks and turned back to look at the person speaking.

"You said so yourself, babe. You are one little girl."

"No, I'm not," Macy refuted her words sharply. There was no way in hell she was.

"Yes you are," Jade retorted and continued on her way to the bathroom.

By the time she was done washing up her face, she returned only to meet a pouting Macy. Her nose scrunched up as she accessed her friend very well before pulling on her cheeks in a playful manner and smiling at her.

"I am glad."

"About what?"

"You."

"Me?" Macy tilted her head back with her hand pointing to her chest as she waited for Jade to clarify. "Jade."

"Yes, you. I am happy you are happy. More than anything, I am glad that there is someone who can take care of you. I am gracious that it is someone who loves you unconditionally, Macy. You are a lucky girl."

"And so are you."

"No."

"Shh!" She hushed Jade and went to sit down on the bed, so she was facing her. After she wiped her face dry, she kept her towel and went back to sit down on the bed with Macy. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Do not be like this, Jade. Yes, I came in while you ended your call but I noticed that the atmosphere was tensed up. Something isn't right and I feel it. I can feel it. You are sad."

"I know I cannot hide some things from you, Macy. Indeed I am sad."

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"Why? Is it because you are confused about your feelings for Xander or what?" Jade took a deep breath while closing her eyes before opening them to answer her friend.

"My family."

The silence that followed was not one for a joke. It was serious and heavy. She was still hurting and it pained Macy that there was nothing she could do to take the pain away from her friend.

"Jade."

"No, it is okay." She quickly put up a defence against the words Macy was going to say. "I would be fine."

"I know, Jade. I know. But know this too, you also have got someone who is there for you. Scratch that, not just someone, you've got us all. I love you sis and I promise to always be here with you."

"Thanks."

"No need to thank me. It is what friends are for. Then again, all hope isn't lost. We are your family, Xander and I. He loves you dearly and baby, that is definitely something to be proud of. If you just open your heart and learn to love again, then you would see that there is so much love waiting to be given to you."

Jade did not respond to anything she said but that did not get her friend angry as she knew her words were sinking into her head.

"All you need to do is open up and let him in. Let him shower you with his undying love. Let him be there to shelter your troubles and fears. He is willing, baby and you are very lucky. You know you love Xander, Jade. You can feel it. Never has anyone breached the gap and broken down your walls like this so please, give yourself a chance to feel loved."

"Macy, I do not know if I should. Things are just complicated," Jade finally let out her fears to her friend.

She wasn't too sure about trusting Xander, especially as he always seemed to show up at the odd places she was. She did not know his connection to the mafia world and even though her heart wanted her to trust him, her mind still cautioned her.

"The only complication you are having is you, Jade. You are the one holding yourself back from finding the love that you so much cherish. Please, let yourself be loved and give in to your heart."

No one spoke again for some minutes. Both of them took the quietness to think some things through before Macy broke it.

"I envy you."

"Why?" Jade seemed kind of shock about being envied when she did not see anything in herself to be envied. 

Macy was beautiful just like she was. She was rich as well, intelligent, she still even had her family unlike her who had lost everything and she had a guy who loved her despite all odds, so why would she be jealous of her?

Why envy her when her life had been a complete mess? She just could not pout it straight and it did not sit well with her.

"Why envy me? What have I got that you haven't?"

"A love so strong and true. There are no complications in your heart about if he is the right guy."

"Huh, duh… did you just hear what my fears were about?"

"I did. I do not mean what I said in that way. Yes, Jay may be in love with me but till now, it is a bit hard to accept his love because of the incident I had with sky before."

"Hahhaa… Can you hear yourself?"

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