Mayo Chiki!
“Hmmm, so you were hiding in that closet after all.”
The morning after that stressful incident arrived, basically my second day of working at the Suzutsuki Residence. After all classes for the day ended, and I made my home, I explained what exactly had happened to Suzutsuki. Or rather, I was forced to explain. The second I set foot inside the residence, Suzutsuki called me to the banquet hall. Of course, I was wearing the dog costume as my uniform.
“That’s not fair. Just when I thought someone was hiding there, it turned out to be the two of you, having fun between yourselves.” Suzutsuki-san smiled.
Naturally, I kept the part of Konoe being naked or me k-k-k-kissing her a secret. Not like I could even, I still haven’t fully dealt with the repercussions of my own actions. That also seemed to be the case for Konoe. Either she was too embarrassed after being seen naked, or shocked because of my sudden kiss, but she’s been staying in her room all day. Subaru-sama is in her shut-in mode.
“But, why is she just holing up inside her room? That never happened before.”
“W-Who knows? I have no clue.”
“Hmmmm.” The young lady narrowed her eyes, and closely inspected me.
Knowing her, she probably would catch on to that reason sooner or later.
“Well, it’s fine. Thanks to that, I can take another day off school.”
“Since you took a day off yesterday, it’d be weird if you’re suddenly back to full energy.”
“That is true, but I’m also lacking a bit of sleep.”
“Lacking sleep?”
“Recently, I have had trouble falling asleep.”
“Hmmm.”
“It’s not like my body is burning up with passion or anything though.”
“Nobody asked about that.”
“But you were thinking about it?”
“I wasn’t thinking about it either!”
“Anyway, my body feels a bit sluggish. Probably because I didn’t get much sleep lately.” Suzutsuki let out an adorable yawn. “That reminds me, where is Kureha-chan?”
“She has club activities today, so she’s coming home late.”
“Then, we’re lacking one person right now. Can’t rely on Subaru either.”
“Yeah, I doubt she’ll come out anytime soon.”
After all, even when Kureha and Suzutsuki tried to talk to her, she wouldn’t even let them in. I thought of checking on her as well, but feared that I might just make things worse if I did, so I decided against it. I feel like it’s better for me to just leave her alone.
“…My goodness, we have Jirou-kun as a servant, and yet she seems fully intent on wasting this chance.”
“Hm?”
“Ah, don’t worry about it. Just me talking to myself.” Suzutsuki-san flashed a profound smile.
She’s probably thinking of a way to tease me again, I bet. Not to mention that this is her home base, her own ground. On top of that, with the Suzutsuki fanatic Ichigo-san always observing what I’m doing, I can’t relax for even a second.
“Also, your job today will be cleaning. Since you finished the residence yesterday, you’ll move to the garden today.”
“Urk…”
Hey now, are you kidding me? I’m supposed to clean that entire garden myself?
“Rest assured, you won’t be forced to finish it all in one day. Also, I’ll make sure you get to eat at a reasonable time.”
“At least the menu is a bit better than before.”
I guess even Ichigo-san felt bad giving me only sugar cubes, because she properly gave me some breakfast (although only instant ramen with rice). It’s at least better than sugar cubes.
“Oh yeah, I was a bit surprised during breakfast.”
“Why is that?”
“I mean, normally servants and master wouldn’t eat breakfast together, right?”
I thought that us servants would be eating breakfast during a different time, at a different place, but to my surprise, we all sat at the same dinner table. I was curious about that, but it seemed to be a Suzutsuki Family rule, saying that servants are like family, so you all eat together.
“Normally it’s different, but right now we’re eating together. No idea how other people do it, but I think that eating with everyone is much more enjoyable. If not for that, I would have to eat all on my own.”
“Yeah, since you’re the only master present right now.”
Suzutuski’s parents, and even the old man, are currently out of the house, which leaves Suzutsuki as our only master. She has full control over this place right now.
“Oh yeah, the reason you took me and Kureha in as servants is because another servant has similar circumstances to ours, right?”
“Indeed, she’s a girl called Hinata Mayoi. Right now, she’s hospitalized because of an appendix. She lost her home like you two did, and ended up seeking refuge here at our residence. After a lot of back and forths, we took her in as a servant.”
“Yeah, makes sense that you can’t just let us stay for free, then, but…”
I still feel like—that’s not the only reason. Of course, I have no proof for that. It’s just my intuition, which starts beeping because we’re talking about that rich lady. She always has ulterior motives.
“Well, that’s not the only reason I made you and Kureha-chan servants here.”
“Eh?”
Surprisingly enough, Suzutsuki answered my doubts for myself. And if that wasn’t enough, she showed a perfect smile that would make Audrey Hepburn blush, as she continued.
“Can’t forget about that incident with Nakuru-chan.”
“Are you…talking about that confession?”
“Indeed. She’s been on the attack ever since, and it would be troublesome if you started dating her. I’d lose my precious time of having fun and teasing you.”
“Yeah, you’re worrying for nothing, that won’t happen.”
Also, I’m not your plaything, you hear me. I feel like I’m always dancing on the top of your palm.
“It’s important to have fun. When it comes to my parents, or even Nagare, staying at this residence would have been pretty lonely. I figured that keeping you two here would make it more lively. Not to mention…”
“…What?”
“I’ve become Yamitsuki-san now, so I need to bully you some more.”
“…’Zat so.”
Damn Devil Suzutsuki, she still wants to play around with me after all. I’m clearly being treated like some puppy.
“……”
But…something doesn’t add up.
—I’ll continue to bully you from now on.
That’s what Suzutsuki told me before the sports festival started. Thinking about it, it doesn’t really make much sense. The word ‘bully’ has such a negative connotation. Although Suzutsuki loved to tease me here and there, it was never so extreme. It was only her keeping up a nice face to have fun behind the scenes. However right now, she’s acting more like the villainess, the evil of the wrestling match, or as she said it—Yamitsuki-san.
It just doesn’t make any sense. It’s almost like she’s trying to be the antagonist, so that my affection towards her lowers…
“However, I’m sure that things will get even more noisy from now on.”
“Eh?”
Because of Suzutsuki’s profound words, I found my thoughts coming to a halt. Even more noisy? I feel like this right now is plenty already, we feel like we’re a circus group, with the circus leader being the young lady. Other circus members are the yandere maid, and the cross-dressing butler. We have my little sister as the lion, and I’m the lion tamer. Of course, I would fail miserably every time, which generates laughter from the audience.
“She should be coming soon.”
“Coming soon…?”
Who? Right as I wanted to ask that, someone knocked on the door. Shortly after, the door opened and a single maid walked in. Her uniform was a bit different from the one worn by Ichigo-san or Kureha, but the basic design looked familiar.
“…Masamune?”
That’s right, I was looking at Usami Masamune. She had her hair in her usual twintails, wearing the same maid uniform she had kept on during her part-time job at the maid cafe. For some reason however, she gave me a really displeased look.
×
“As you can see, Usami-san will be working at our residence starting today.” Our current master delivered the news with an awfully calm and nonchalant expression.
…Now hold on a damn second, she’s going to work here? Are you saying that she’ll become a servant like we are?
“Hey, what is this about?” I walked over to Masamune, asking her.
Immediately after, she blew a fuse and screamed at me.
“How would I know! When I went to work today, I was ordered to come here, no questions asked!”
“By who?”
“The store manager, of course! More importantly, Suzutsuki Kanade! This is all your doing, right!?”
It seems like she really is not a big fan of this situation. This kind of harsh attitude was new, even for Masamune.
“What might you be talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb! You probably pulled some secret exchange with the store manager, right!?”
“Do you have any proof for that?”
“The store manager’s pupils looked like $ signs! Not to mention that she gave me the weird order of coming here while wearing my maid uniform!”
“Maybe because it’s a cute uniform?”
“As a result of that, I was embarrassed as all hell while walking through town!” The nasty rabbit was boiling with rage.
I guess this is just how cruel society and labour can be. To think she was forced to walk through town while cosplaying, it really is all going downhill.
“Urk…Why do I have to work as a maid here of all the places…”
“Don’t act like this is some tragedy. Rest assured, I did my studying already.”
“Studying…?” Masamune asked, to which Suzutsuki grinned, and took out a small book.
Written on the cover, it said…
“‘A Guide On How To Keep A Pet Rabbit: Master It In 5 Minutes!’, see.”
“You’re making fun of me, right!?”
“Of course, mastering it in five minutes is practically impossible.”
“That’s not what I meant!”
“Should we get to some light revision? ‘Step 1: Rabbits are herbivores’.”
“That sure is a simple first step!”
“‘Step 2: You cannot put a drenched rabbit into a microwave’.”
“That’s just common sense!?”
“‘Step 3: Rabbits die if they get too lonely, pyon…’.”
“That’s just a misconception! Also, what do you mean by ‘pyon’!?”
“You must be going through a lot, Unagi1-san.”
“It’s not Unagi, it’s U-Sa-Gi! Wait, stop! My name is Usami!”
“Having these kinds of exchanges really helps me relax as of late.”
“Don’t use people as mental stabilizers!” Masamune was gasping for air, as she relentlessly threw in retorts.
…Wow. You really don’t need to retort on every little thing. You’ll just be exhausted like you ran a marathon. It’s like ‘Sarai2’ is playing in the background.
“I mean, why didn’t you just decline then?”
I feel like that would be an obvious doubt. Masamune clearly was popular in the maid cafe, so she could have just stayed there if you ask me.
“Urk…I had my own…you know, circumstances.”
“…Was the pay too juicy to decline?”
“How did you know!?”
“I mean…”
That’s pretty much the only reason I could see that would make you accept this. Because of Masamune’s family circumstances, she’s pretty much living a poor life. Best evidenced by the fact that she’s actually living in a haunted flat. If anything, she looks like she has $ signs as pupils.
“Hey! What’s that belittling gaze about! We’re talking about a solid 10.000 yen a day, okay!? And, I was guaranteed food and a place to sleep if I stayed here!”
“Even so, you’ll be working as a maid, right?”
Not to mention her master being Suzutsuki Kanade. It’s like she formed a pact with the devil. Nothing good can come out of this. Then again, not like I’m one to talk.
“Hmpf, if it’s for my own lifestyle, I can put up with a lot of things. Not to mention…”
“Not to mention?”
“…I-I was a bit curious…how you were doing here. With the fire the day before yesterday, I was there, and yet…unlike Suzutsuki Kanade, I couldn’t do anything…” She whispered with a voice about to disappear.
So, was she worried about me and Kureha? I mean, she was there when we learned of the fact that our house burned down, so she must be at least curious about how we’re doing…At the root of it all, she really is kind.
“…Hm?”
But, wait a second. Something still doesn’t add up. Isn’t this weird? Suzutsuki mentioned that she had trouble dealing with Masamune, right? They’re natural enemies, even. After all, Masamune can see right through Suzutsuki’s nonsense, which makes sense. Yet, why would Suzutsuki invite her to her homebase?
“Kanade-ojousama.”
Right after someone knocked on the door, I heard a robotic voice. It was undoubtedly Ichigo-san. She had no expression on her face as always, walking towards us.
“Ichigo, she’ll be a temporary maid starting today. Her name is Usami-san, so please take good care of her.”
“Yes. Nice to meet you, newcomer.”
“H-Hello.” Masasmune gave an awkward greeting.
She never stops being shy around strangers huh, almost like an actual rabbit.
“However, Kanade-ojousama, this isn’t the time for self-introductions.”
“Hm? Did something happen?” Suzutsuki tilted her head.
Ichigo-san kept a serious tone, and explained.
“We have an intruder.”
“What?”
Both mine and Masamune’s voice overlapped. An intruder? Where did that come from?
“My, that sounds troublesome.”
“My deepest apologies, the security seems to have missed them…”
“Don’t worry about it. The question is how we deal with them from now on. How many intruders?”
“Only one. However, we cannot relax. What should we do?”
“As we always would. This is an order, Ichigo. Capture this intruder as quickly as possible.”
“Understood, Kanade-ojousama.” The maid deeply lowered her head.
Hey now, when did this turn into some battle manga? Not to mention capture? If the intruder is a thief or someone of that level, shouldn’t we be calling 110 instead?
“Ichigo-san.”
I couldn’t allow there to be any victims, so I thought I should report to my senior.
“What is it, Odd Jobs-san.”
“If that intruder is a thief, wouldn’t it be much simpler to call the police?”
“We can’t do that. The intruder is not a thief.”
“A robber?”
“NO. Something even more terrifying.” Ichigo-san’s expression stayed serious.
Maybe it’s Mom? When we were caught in the middle of a bank robbery before, she completely rendered all of the robbers immobile in a mere five minutes. She’s much more terrifying than them.
“Or rather, it’s not even a human.”
“Eh?”
“It’s fluffy, with thick fur, long ears and crimson eyes, a true little monster…”
“……”
Um…is that possibly…
“A rabbit?”
“YES. I don’t know how, but it must have somehow found its way in here.”
“But, is there really any need to panic like this…”
“Of course. Rabbits can bite through the electricity cords of this residence, and create a fire without us knowing.”
I see. Still, to think it was a rabbit. Maybe it ran away from its owner, or escaped a pet shop.
“However, it’s much better than that.”
“That?”
“Yes. The monster that has continued to fight humans for hundreds of years now. Clad in dark armor, it rapidly grows its numbers…like the devil himself…”
“…Are you talking about a—”
“Stop that, Jirou-kun. We don’t use such an accursed name. Just call it G3, that’s more than enough.”
“I mean, I get that, but…”
Naturally, she’s not talking about a Gun*am, nor about Yomiuri G*ants4. Basically, she’s talking about the black and aggressive insects that love invading other people’s homes, said there to be at least 30 if you see a single one.
“Now that you mention it, one of them managed to invade this residence before.”
“It’s been seven years since then. I have not forgotten once. The grave damages befalling this residence…”
“How grave was that, then?”
“Yes. So much smoke. All because of Subaru.”
“Because of Konoe?”
“The fire alarm went off.”
“…Ahh.”
Ahh, I see. But, is that really something worth calling grave damage?
“To think he would blow up the entire room they had invaded with dynamite.”
“That’s where the smoke came from!?”
“The fire alarm worked just fine.”
“And what good did that do!?”
“The only saving grace is that she didn’t use much gunpowder. With another 500g, the entire place would have been blown to smithereens.”
“……”
“This is all Subaru’s fault, since he stole these explosives from the construction grounds.”
“Hehe, that Subaru. So clumsy, and so cute.”
“Kanade-ojousama, this isn’t enough to just laugh off. Have you forgotten the headlines of the following day’s newspaper? It said ‘Break of Japanese Safety! A Terrorist Attack in a Usually Peaceful Residential District!?’.”
“Pushing away the mass media was a lot of trouble back then. We somehow covered it up with a gas explosion though.”
“…Well, I guess he really just hates them after all.”
Never met a girl who actually likes cockroaches. Though, blowing up this entire place is taking things a bit too far.
“Hmpf, what’s the problem? It’s just some G.”
However, the other girl in the room, Masamune, seemed fairly calm about this. That’s the nasty rabbit for you. Now that’s some energy to have, I want to keep her at home.
“I mean, they’re only the size of a human, right?”
“Isn’t that bit too big!?”
“Eh? Isn’t that normal?”
“In what way!? That would bring ruin to humanity as a whole!”
“They often stand on my pillow.”
“Stand!? In what way!?”
“On two legs?”
“They’re not some panda! They’re crawling on the ground!”
“That’s not scary at all!”
“I’m terrified of your home, okay!?”
“I’ve been scared from the very beginning, but I’ve gotten used to it.”
“Used to it…”
“Recently, I’ve even been talking to them.”
“Are you crazy!?”
“Wouldn’t it be better to keep a steady communication?”
“Those things don’t have any common sense or humanity in them!”
“They started it with ‘Won’t you become friends with me?’ though.”
“Are you being serious!?”
Scary. I can’t even imagine human-sized Gs just standing there, in my own home. It sounds like it would be out of a horror movie5. Also…I’m having trouble believing this. Our conversations clearly don’t seem to match up. Maybe we think of different things when we talk about Gs?
“Masamune, what do you think a G is?”
“Huh? You were talking with me, and yet didn’t even know what that is? Makes sense why it seemed like we were talking past each other.” Masamune said, and approached my ear.
She probably didn’t want to trigger Suzutsuki after her previous statement of ‘Don’t say its name’.
“—You’re talking about ghosts, right?”
“What?”
“Don’t ‘What?’ me. The initial is G, right? Then, it has to be a ghost. But, why would they be here? Is this built on a graveyard or a hospital?”
“……”
Ahh, right. GHOST, I see. That would explain a lot of things. After all, her flat is like a haunted house. I can see a ghost of about 170cm standing on her pillow. That’s a relief…well, not really. However, if I keep this misunderstanding going, it might complicate things later. I was just trying to think of a way of achieving that, when…
“Newcomer. The G you’re talking about is different from the G we’re talking about.”
“Eh?” Masamune seemed confused, as Ichigo-san approached her ears, and started whispering.
She was probably explaining the truth to her. After all, Masamune’s face slowly turned pale.
“Eh? G is…that?”
“YES. What’s wrong? Are you scared after all?”
“O-O-O-Of course I’m not! I’m totally fine, really!” Masamune tried to stay calm, showing a twitching smile. “That’s right, compared to the ghost at my place, this is nothing.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Ah, newcomer, there’s a G at your feet.”
“Kyaaaaaaah!?” Masamune jumped up a solid 30cm.
Of course, there was no G around. It was just a classic trap. Geez, what do you mean you’re not scared? You screamed like a little girl…
“Nooooo!”
“Guheh!?”
Masamune seemingly started panicking, as she clung to my neck. Gyaaaaaaah, stop that! My gynophobia! If you hug me that aggressively, my gynophobia will make me pass out!
“Nooo! Get away! Don’t come over here!”
“L-Let go of me, Masamune!”
“No! No no no no! Don’t cast me aside! Please, let me stay with you!”
“Hey, I’m begging you here, just calm down a bit…Geho!?”
Crack, Masamune’s slender arms wrapped around my neck. This is bad, this isn’t even about my gynophobia anymore. It’s a classic dead or alive. I’ll be killed by a maid, with a choke sleeper.
“Hic….Waaah…I’m scared…!”
Her nasty attitude vanished elsewhere, as she started weeping. She was like any other weak and fragile girl. However, I want to cry myself. She kept pushing her body onto me, to which her sweet and girly scent tickled my nose, her softness being conveyed even through my costume. The sensation of a girl…
“Urk…”
…Not good, I’ll pass out for real…
“Newcomer, how long do you plan on clinging to him?” Ichigo-san’s robotic voice rang out.
In response to that, Masamune let out a dumbfounded ‘Eh?’, and returned to reality. And then, she confirmed her own situation.
“!”
She finally realized that Ichigo-san was just playing with her, and probably felt embarrassed at the fact that she was still clinging to me, as she started blushing furiously, and jumped away from me.
“W-Why were you clinging to me like that?!”
“Excuse me, but I think you got it backwards…”
“Shut up! Dummy! Stupid chicken! I wasn’t scared at all! It’s because you just…!”
“NO. You most certainly were quite scared.”
“Wha…what are you saying, um…”
“Just call me ‘Ichigo-san’, I am referring to you as ‘Newcomer’ after all.”
“Then…Ichigo-san, prove it to me. There’s no way I was that scared…”
“‘Nooo! Get away! Don’t come over here!’”
“!?”
“‘No! No no no no! Don’t cast me aside! Please, let me stay with you!’”
“~~~!”
“This has been a reenactment of the happenings just now.”
“Lies! That’s not true! There’s no way I would act so embarrassing…”
“Ah, a real G this time.”
“Kyaaaaaa!” Masamune screamed one more time, clinging to my neck again.
No, you’re absolutely terrified. Also, can you just stay away from me right now? My nose will actually start bleeding.
“Newcomer, that was a lie again.”
“…!?”
“It’s fine, we won’t be chasing after a G, but a mere rabbit. That’s why, you don’t have to be so terrified.”
“I-I’m not scared or anything…”
“I see. Then…it is time we depart. Kanade-ojousama, please stay here safely.”
“I’m counting on you, Ichigo.”
“Leave it to me.”
With confident steps, Ichigo-san stepped out onto the hallway. Seems like she’s motivated for a hunt this time. With her eyepatch, she looks like a real hunter. Right now, it felt like I could hear Wagner’s ‘Ride of the Valkyries’.
“H-Hmpf! What, I wasn’t that scared after all!”
Masamune finally moved away from me, and stomped after Ichigo-san. I let out a sigh, and chased after the two. Either way, this counts as the start of our searching trip through the Suzutsuki Residence. The members this time around were two maids, and one odd jobs costume. What an unreliable party, really. It’s like we’re a dog, ape, and pheasant from Momotarou. We might even get some sweet dumplings after this. And if that wasn’t enough, our master was Suzutsuki Kanade.
“Wait a second.”
See, talk about the devil. Right as we walked down the hallway, Suzutsuki came after us. She showed a teasing grin on her face, like a child about to prank its parents.
“Usami-san, can I have a moment?”
“What?”
“Come on, you don’t need to be so on edge, it’s just a present.”
“A present?”
“Yes, since you’re going hunting for a rabbit, you need to put this on.” Suzutsuki said, and offered something to Masamune.
They’re bunny ears. The bunny ears hung down a headband, looking like your usual cosplay goods, colored pure white.
“By the way, this is an order. If you don’t wear this, I’ll have to reduce your salary.”
“……”
Pride and salary were on the line. Put between the two choices, Masamune took a solid 30 minutes to decide.
×
“…So, where did it go?”
Shortly after we left the banquet hall, I asked Ichigo-san, who was guiding us through the residence.
“First, the kitchen. That’s why we’ll go there first. It managed to escape me then, but now we capture it.” Ichigo-san had no expression whatsoever as always, but I could hear a faint passion in her voice.
From her skirt, I could hear a metallic rattling sound. It’s probably some kind of weapon she probably picked up.
“Aren’t you a bit too well-prepared?”
“NO. A lion doesn’t hold back even against a rabbit. This is the same.
“You’re a maid, you can’t go hunting.”
“What a shame.”
“…Also, there’s one more thing I wanted to ask.”
“YES?”
“You’re a maid, so why do you have so many weapons?”
Apparently, her only weapon isn’t just a chainsaw. A crowbar, a knife, an ice pick, a fork…and so on. She’s clearly violating all sorts of weapon laws.
“…Hm.” Ichigo-san seemed to be thinking about my words for a moment, and then… “……….Hobby.”
Yeah, well, there’s really too many parts for me to retort on, but I’m scared to ask any more, so I’ll leave it at that. That’s right, everybody has their own hobby…although I feel like the people around me are a bit too different.
“Urk…Why do I have to do this…” The maid with bunny ears grit her teeth as she groaned.
She says so, but I think those bunny ears look pretty good on her.
“Stupid chicken, what are you staring at me for?”
“I was just thinking that you were changing from Usamin to Usamimin.”
“Why do you make me sound like some monster out of a game!? Geez, I’m not wearing this because I want to…” Masamune bit her lip.
I should go tell the store manager. If you want more customers, you need to come up with a plan to make Masamune wear this, as well as the other maids.
“—Arrival.” Ichigo-san announced this with as much of a robotic voice as always.
It’s the kitchen, a clean space with no dirt in sight. So this is where the target might be hiding.
“…NO. It doesn’t seem to be here. Must have moved.” The eyepatch maid shook her head.
Eh? What, she only looked around, and yet…
“I don’t feel the presence of a living being here.”
“………”
Does she have some sort of radar? I didn’t think she’d be judging that solely based on presence and whatever. I don’t know if she’s being serious, but all I have to do is listen to orders.
“Then, should we move? Now that it’s come to this, we have to search every small corner…”
“NO. We will recharge.”
“What?”
“You cannot fight with an empty stomach.” She said, and sat down at a kitchen chair, taking out a fork from somewhere, and held it in both her hands.
“Stomach’s empty. Anything is fine, just make it.”
“……”
“As a junior, you’re supposed to listen to your senior’s request.”
“………”
“If possible, I’d like some pancakes.”
“……”
Is this woman looking down on me? It might seem like quite the ridiculous request, but if I’m not careful and don’t respond to her wishes, I might be turned into a carpaccio with those weapons of hers. Then again, I’m also feeling a bit hungry right now, so it would probably be for the best if I replenish some energy myself. Alright, time to…
“Sorry, Masamune.”
“Huh!? Why me!?”
“Well, I know it’s pathetic, but I don’t know how to make it.”
“It’s pancakes! As long as you have the ingredients, you can make it no problem!”
“But, I’m sure they’d be much more delicious if you made them.”
I was speaking my mind here. Masamune’s cooking skill isn’t anything to scoff at. The meat and potato stew I ate this summer was great, so me wanting to eat more of her cooking was just me being honest.
“~~~! O-Okay! If you’re that adamant on it, I’ll make some. But, I’ll eat some as well!” She let out a sigh, and moved towards the fridge to look for ingredients.
Hmmm, she’s acting like she hates it, but I bet she probably likes cooking. I’ve seen how much she enjoyed herself when she was cooking after all.
“……”
Now, after waiting for around ten minutes, Masamune lined up steamy hot pancakes on the kitchen table.
“I actually love pancakes.” After giving a comment with no intonation or expression resembling her words, Ichigo-san grabbed a piece of the pancakes, and carried it to her mouth.
At least she’s not actually a robot. She might look like an adult on the outside, but she now seemed like a child who simply loved pancakes.
“Stupid chicken, it’ll get cold if you don’t eat them soon.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“N-No biggie. It wasn’t hard or anything. But, you should be more thankful”.
“You’re right. Thanks a lot.” I gave my thanks, and carried a piece of a pancake to my mouth.
I immediately tasted the soft and fluffy consistency, together with the sweetness of maple syrup…yeah, delicious. I guess eating some childish food like this doesn’t hurt once in a while.
“Why don’t you become the chef here?” Ichigo-san seemed to agree with me, as she asked this with sparkling eyes.
“Don’t you already have a chef?”
“YES. However, she is NO. She is too much of a deviant.”
“I’m not a deviant, but I’d rather not be a chef. I don’t have that big of a repertoire to begin with.” Masamune declined, and averted her gaze.
Hmmm, she really is cold towards random people. Though I feel like it’s gotten a bit better at least. When she first met me, she was ice cold to me, but now we’re talking just fine. Maybe she’s gotten better at actually believing other people.
“By the way.” There, Ichigo-san licked up some maple syrup from her lips, and spoke up. “Are you two dating?”
Both Masamune and I froze at the exact same moment. W-Water! I can’t breathe! The pancakes went down the wrong pipe!
“…YES?”
“N-N-Not at all! NO, okay, NO! Who would go out with a stupid chicken like him!?” Masamune recovered a bit faster than me, and frantically denied Ichigo-san’s assumption.
You don’t need to be that desperate, you know? Also, why are you slapping me on the back, Masamune-san? You’ll force up all the pancakes I already gulped down.
“…Shame. If only you two were dating.”
“What?”
“No, just talking to myself. More importantly, we finished recharging. Departure.”
“So, where do we go now?” Masamune asked after we left the kitchen.
Since Ichigo-san spotted it around here, there’s a good chance that it might be nearby. It feels like we’re inside Alice in Wonderland.
“Odd Jobs-san, can you trace after its scent?”
“What am I, some police dog?”
“…So why did you even tag along?”
“That’s what you expected from me!?”
“Can’t help it then, we’ll search through the residence.” The eyepatch maid walked on ahead.
She’s still fully intent on treating me as a dog because I’m wearing this costume? Maybe she just hates my guts. Either way, with a bit of banter like this, we moved through the hallways of the Suzutsuki Residence. The inside of these hallways were decorated with vases, paintings, and other expensive-looking furniture, every single thing just gorgeous to look at.
“If I sold this, I could live for an entire month…”
Masamune seemingly felt similar to me, as she looked at all the antique items with a resentful gaze. Yeah, that’s the kind of commoner reaction I would expect. Really makes me realize how we live in two different worlds.
“Let’s check in here next.”
As the two of us were entranced by the Suzutsuki Residence, Ichigo-san stopped in front of a single room…Hold on, are you serious?
“Subaru.” Ichigo-san knocked on the room’s door, calling out to the person inside.
Immediately after, I heard an alto voice, responding with ‘What?’. That’s right, this is Konoe’s room. To the right, you can now see the crossdressing butler’s room, ladies and gentlemen.
“Ichigo. What do you want?”
“Something important. So, open the door, will you?”
“…Don’t wanna.” For some reason, Konoe immediately rejected that request. “I’ll stay here in my room for a while, so leave.”
“……”
This is bad, Subaru-sama turned into an actual shut-in. The reason for that has to be yesterday’s incident, I bet. Ahh, so awkward. With what face should I even meet her from now on.
“NO. Open the door.”
“No.”
“Staying in your room for too long is poison for your body.”
“Just for a little while. Once I’ve calmed down and thought everything through, I’ll go back to my work.”
“Don’t say that, you could eat some delicious pancakes right now.”
“Urk…I-I don’t care…” Or so she said, but I heard faint grumbling across the door, most likely from her stomach.
She’s clearly hungry, what an easy fellow.
“Shame. They were so delicious. Even Odd Jobs-san was thoroughly enjoying them.”
“Wha…! Not fair! Everyone eating together while leaving me out!”
“I thought you didn’t want to eat any?”
“Urk…!”
“Now, the newcomer will make some more for you, so come on out.”
“Newcomer? …Ah, Usami. The young lady mentioned she would be working here starting today.”
“YES. Her pancakes are the best. So, open up already.”
“~~~!”
That’s Ichigo-san for you, she’s been living together with Konoe for a while, so she knows how she ticks. Though, it’s a bit doubtful if Masamune will actually make pancakes again.
“…N-No.”
However, our dear butler was quite obstinate today. She really wants to be alone today, huh. Or, she just doesn’t want to run into me.
“I see. It can’t be helped, then.” Surprisingly enough, Ichigo-san gave up fairly quickly.
Then, she beckoned me and Masamune over, whispering to us.
“Help me out. We need to get Subaru out of there.”
“How?”
“I call it…the Gate of the Celestial Cave6 Operation.”
“Isn’t that…”
It’s part of an old legend, where the gods held a party in order to draw out a god hiding in a cave by throwing a party and making them jealous.
“So basically, we just have to talk about something that will get him invested.”
“For example?”
“For example, something like…………”
“…!? Why does it have to be something so embarrassing!?”
Masamune had stayed quiet until now, but spoke up to protest immediately after hearing of Ichigo-san’s plan. Personally, I can’t blame her. It is pretty embarrassing.
“That’s something he’s interested in after all.”
“B-But…!”
“Of course, the ones acting will be Odd Jobs-san and Newcomer.”
“!?”
“It can’t be helped, Odd Jobs-san and I barely have known each other for a few days, so it wouldn’t make much sense.”
“B-But, doing that with the stupid chicken is…”
“If you say no, then I’ll be lowering your salary.”
“~~~!” Masamune groaned in despair, and turned towards me. “Stupid chicken, I’m only doing this for my salary. I need to do this in order to survive, so don’t get the wrong idea, okay.”
“Y-Yeah.”
“You get that!?”
“I-I understand!”
Woah, Masamune was actually persuaded. In preparation, she took off her bunny ears. I guess she’s too embarrassed to act that out with those on.
“Start the show. Knowing Subaru, he is definitely listening in on us. If you do what I told you, he should come jumping out with ‘No licentious actions allowed in the young lady’s residence!’, I bet.” Ichigo-san showed us her thumb, praying for our luck in battle.
Or, that’s what it felt like at least.
“S-Stupid chicken…” With tension filling her face, Masamune called out to me.
Then, she put her hands together in front of my chest, her eyes dampened as they looked at me…
“…Kiss me…!”
The plan for me was to say ‘Yeah! I am in love with your eyes, baby!’, but right after Masamune finished her sentence, the door to Konoe’s room shot open. Since it was filled with momentum, the door slammed right into my body, sending me flying with a ‘Guha!?’, as I slammed into the wall.
“N-No! No licentious actions allowed in the young lady’s residence…Huh?” After opening the door with a beet red face, Konoe stared at me in disbelief.
You’re amazing, Ichigo-san. You perfectly guessed Subaru-sama’s actions.
“Subaru, thanks for opening the door.” Ichigo-san gave her gratitude with no emotion in her voice, as she grabbed the door.
Konoe on her part screamed ‘Y-You set me up!?’ and tried to close the door again, but…
“…!”
Her eyes met with mine, and she froze up. Of course, I doubt that happened because she saw me splattered against the wall. Immediately after, the atmosphere froze up. An awkward silence was born between the two of us. Following that, Konoe blushed furiously, and averted her gaze. I did the same as her…but, why. I’m the one who forced myself onto her. I should apologize. No, I have to apologize. And yet…
“…!”
I can’t. Because of the scenery yesterday, I couldn’t even force out a voice. Not to mention that my heart keeps on racing. This didn’t even happen when I was kissed by Suzutsuki. Just what is happening to me?
“Stupid chicken, why are you just staying quiet like that?” Masamune seemingly thought of my reaction as weird, as she gave me a dubious gaze.
“I-It’s nothing. More importantly, let’s go inside.”
I needed to change the topic as quickly as possible. I can’t do it right now. Neither Konoe nor I are in any shape that would allow any proper conversation. I’ll have to wait a bit longer.
“Oh yeah, you’re wearing quite the adorable pajamas, Subaru-sama.”
“Wha…!?”
“…Cats?”
“~~~!?”
Having her own appearance pointed out by the bunny-eared maid Masamune, Konoe blushed even more furiously, as she pulled down the hem of her pajamas. Indeed, Konoe’s pajama had adorable cat designs imprinted on it. It’s the exact kind of design Kureha would like a lot. Despite her tone of voice, Konoe really is feminine.
“You’re wrong! Normally I’m not wearing this! I just happened to put it on today!”
“Lie. You really love that pajama, I know that. You even have another two, just in a different color.”
“Shut up! You be quiet, Ichigo!”
“You don’t have to feel so embarrassed about this, your pajamas aren’t anything embarrassing.”
“They are to me, okay!”
“At least you’re wearing something. I don’t wear anything when I sleep.”
“N-N-N-Nobody asked for that information!” Subaru-sama blushed even more furiously during her exchange with Ichigo-san.
Um, not wearing anything…so you sleep naked? Waah, I can’t see that happening at all. Despite having no expression, she sure is bold.
“Stupid chicken, you’re thinking of something lewd, right?”
“!?”
This nasty rabbit is no joke, she saw right through me with a single glance, as she was staring at me from the side.
“Pervert. Are you that crazy about a girl’s naked body?”
“Y-You’re wrong! I most definitely wasn’t imagining this maid sleeping butt-naked!”
“Sometimes I really envy that honesty of yours…”
“I don’t want to hear that from you, you lewd rabbit!”
“Huuuh!? W-Who’s a lewd rabbit!? Ah, I see, you want to tease me after I say ‘Did you know? The only other living beings who are always in heat except humans are rabbits’, right?!”
“Who said that!?”
What a lively example, alright. She probably was teased about this a lot when she was younger. Then again, I can see that happening with how profound her imagination is.
“Wah, crazy.”
Upon entering Konoe’s room, the first one to react was Masamune, who let out a shocked voice. She might be surprised at the sheer amount of plush toys. Or, she might me simply confused at the fact that it’s all Silent Sheep.
“Ichigo, what is going on? Also, why was there any need to come inside?”
“YES. I haven’t told you yet, but we are currently searching through this residence.”
“Searching?”
“The thing is, a rabbit snuck its way into the residence.” Right after Ichigo-san explained our current predicament, Konoe let out a baffled ‘Eh!?’ and looked at her in shock.
……What’s this extreme reaction about? Does she actually know where…
“Subaru, don’t tell me…”
“W-What’s that look for! I don’t know! I don’t know where that rabbit is!”
“Then, can we look around inside your room?”
“T-That’s…”
“Be honest, and confess. Hiding a suspect makes you a partner in crime.”
“No! That cutie isn’t a suspect…”
“Cutie?”
Konoe groaned like a child that had its toy taken from them. That’s exactly when it happened.
“Ah! You can’t come out!” An alto voice screamed.
Tracing Konoe’s gaze, I spotted an ashen colored living being on the bed. It had long ears with clear eyes, as well as long and fluffy fur. Yeah, it was a rabbit no matter how you looked at it.
“I won’t give it to you! You won’t get Pyonkichi!” The butler embraced the rabbit like it was her own child.
This is bad, she’s fully fallen victim to its charm. We have our first victim. If I had to guess, she probably encountered the rabbit on her way to or from the toilet. Also, Pyonkichi? Her naming sense is as messed up as always.
“Subaru, don’t be selfish. Hand it over.”
“No! I’m going to take care of it!”
“That rabbit might have run away from a nearby pet shop, you know?”
“Urk…No, I’m sure that Pyonkichi was excluded from his group of friends, and sought out freedom which is why he escaped to the city at night…”
“Don’t turn him into the protagonist of some tragedy.”
“S-So what, Ichigo!? What do you plan on doing after you catch Pyonkichi!?”
“Did you know? In Australia, they turn rabbits into a satisfying meal…”
“Leave! Get out of here right now!”
“Just kidding. We’ll find a place for it to go after that. This is the order Kanade-ojousama gave us.”
“Urk…” Konoe grit her teeth, and reluctantly moved to hand over the rabbit.
Well, I can’t blame her for this, even if she seems a bit childish. It feels like that rabbit probably ran away from somewhere, it feels oddly calm around people.
“Farewell, Pyonkichi…Live on strong…” Konoe looked like she was close to breaking out in tears, looking at Pyonkichi.
However…
“Ah, wait!”
There, the rabbit broke free out of Konoe’s arms, and dashed down the hallway.
“Ahh, Pyonkichi!” Konoe was about to run after him immediately.
“Subaru, I don’t think it’s good to run down the hallways while looking like this. We’ll run after it, so you change first.”
“Urk…”
“Rest assured, we’ll capture him. Newcomer, Odd Jobs-san, let’s go.”
“Y-Yes…!”
“Ah, wait a second, stupid chicken!”
I chased after Ichigo-san, with Masamune close after me. Looking around…there it is. Down the hallway, I could see the ashen color!
“Ichigo-san, wouldn’t it have been fine if Konoe tagged along?” I asked, while chasing the rabbit.
Since this is Konoe’s home, she doesn’t have to be that strict.
“NO. Knowing him, he might change his mind again. That’s why only we will take care of the rabbit.”
“……”
Did she give Konoe some false nonsense so that we have time to hunt for the rabbit? Just as Ichigo-san said, it wouldn’t be weird for her to jump sides again.
“Hurry up, there’s a dead end ahead.”
“U-Understood!”
As expected, we managed to corner the rabbit. It must have been wary of us, as its fur was standing on edge. Even if it’s a rabbit, the fact that it emits this much hostility sure is scary. Just because it may look cute doesn’t mean it’s harmless. My dear little sister is a good example of that. It wouldn’t be weird for this rabbit to pull a cobra twist on me.
“Calm down, Odd Jobs-san.” A robotic voice spoke up.
It’s Ichigo-san. She’s looking at the target with a calm but resolute gaze. Ohh, that’s a maid for you, she’s always calm and rational no matter the situation. Her eyepatch wasn’t for nothing. Alright, I’ll just listen to her orders, and…
“It’ll be one shot with this.”
“Eh?” As I froze up, full of doubts, Ichigo-san took out a chainsaw from her skirt, and…Hey!?
“Time for conclusion. The enemy will be sliced.”
“Waaaaah stop that, will you!” I slapped down Ichigo-san’s hand that was holding the chainsaw.
“What are you doing, Odd Jobs-san. This is our chance.”
“Don’t joke with me! You’re being way too aggressive!”
“Rest assured, this is a dull chainsaw, so…”
“That rabbit won’t get out of this unscathed if you slam that chainsaw into it! I thought you’re just going to capture it?!”
“Injuries can’t be helped if we want to capture it.”
“Why are you being so forceful!?”
That’s not like Ichigo-san, who is always rational about things. Or, is this what I think it is…?
“Ichigo-san, are you…bad with rabbits?”
“…!?”
Masamune seemed to think the same as me, as she asked that question. Immediately after, Ichigo-san swallowed her breath, and she started stuttering.
“T-T-T-That’s not true at all!” She desperately denied our assumptions.
No matter how you look at it, Masamune hit the bullseye.
“Did you get bitten by a rabbit when you were a child?”
“Wha…how did you find out my top secret?” Ichigo-san froze up because of my question.
Bingo. That probably ended up as some kind of trauma. Eh? You’re surprised I found out this easily? I mean, the way she acts towards the rabbit is pretty much the same way I act towards Kureha. It’s like I could smell her trauma from a mile away, and sympathized with her.
“A-At times like these, there’s only one thing to do…Remember the ‘A Guide On How To Keep A Pet Rabbit: Master It In 5 Minutes!’…!”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“‘Step 1: Rabbits are carnivorous animals’.”
“You’re changing the contents!?”
“‘Step 2: Warm up a drenched rabbit into a microwave’.”
“All animal lovers in this world will curse you if you do that!”
“Step 3: Rabbits turn into suicide bombers if you get too lonely, pyon…’.”
“What a horrible way to die!”
It’s nonsensical. Ichigo-san is clearly not her usual self right now. If not, she wouldn’t run her mouth like this.
“N-No worries, I will fight.”
“Then, fight it yourself, I’ll be watching from here.”
“R-Roger…”
Maid versus rabbit, the battle of the century, held at the Suzutsuki Residence. The first one to move was the maid after all. She opened her arms wide, and slowly approached the rabbit.
“It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine I’m not scared at all no need to worry no problem at all look at how cute this thing is I’m super okay and aaaaah it moved! It moooooved! I can’t! I caaaaan’t!”
Aaaaand she lost it, huh. Like that, Ichigo-san just sank to the floor, looking up at me with teary eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“………”
“I’m actually terrified.”
“……”
“Odd Jobs-san, I’ll leave the rest to you.” She said, and collapsed to the ground. What a blunder, to think the rabbit would take the first round this easily.
“Damn it…”
Can’t help it, Masamune and I need to take this battle home. That’s right, we are humanoids. It is said that our motoric abilities have been reduced drastically in the modern age, but when it’s the two of us, we should have no problem catching a small wild animal—
“…!?”
Right when the second match of rabbit vs maid and odd jobs guy (in costume) was about to begin, an impact—shook my body. My ally, Masamune, had leaped at my body.
“Y-You, what are you doing!?”
I protested immediately, but because I lost my balance, I fell to the ground. In the meantime, Masamune moved in front of me, opening both her arms as if to protect the being behind her.
“…I won’t hand him over.” She glared at me like a mother bear protecting its child. “I’ll be taking him in!”
“Wha!?”
Ahh, I remember. She really likes rabbits. When I was working part-time at the maid cafe before, I saw that her wallpaper on her phone was a rabbit. Damn it, I was wondering why she wasn’t saying anything. She was only waiting for me to show an opening.
“Calm down, Masamune! Do you plan on ignoring Suzutsuki’s orders!? At this rate, you’ll have your salary lowered!”
“I don’t care! I don’t need money if I can keep him!”
“Whaaaaaaat!?”
I-Impossible. What a dramatic development! To think that nasty rabbit prioritized friendship with an animal over monetary value! My level of affection for Masamune has suddenly risen drastically, it’s exploding!
“Why did you have to kick me for that though!?”
“Hmpf, I held back, so be thankful.”
“Traitor!”
“Shut up, stupid chicken! Look at how terrified this guy is, don’t you feel bad for him? He looks like he’s about to cry.”
“I’m the one who wants to cry!”
I feel like Jesus who just got betrayed by Judas. To think I was betrayed not even for 30 coins of silver, but for a single rabbit. How can I create miracles like this?
“Now, Pyonkichi, let’s run away together!”
She’s started negotiating with an animal!? However, she definitely is wearing rabbit ears right now, so maybe the rabbit feels some kind of familiarity…
“……”
A bit of silence followed. As if it had decided, the rabbit started moving. Seeing this, Masamune showed a confident grin—However.
“Eh!? W-Wait, where are you doing!?”
For some reason, the rabbit headed my way. And then, it approached my cheek, gently licking it. It almost seemed like it was trying to console me.
“Why!? Why did you go to the stupid chicken!? I’m wearing bunny ears!” Masamune flapped her bunny ears up and down.
That however seemed to have the opposite effect, as the rabbit moved even further back into my direction. What irked me the most was the fact that the rabbit didn’t even look at Masamune directly, but rather a bit further up…Oh yeah, this reminds me of the TV show I watched before.
“Hey, Masamune, this might be a bit random, but…certain animals can see things that normal humans can’t, right?”
“Huh? Where did that come from?”
“Just listen to me. For example, there are times when a cat suddenly stares at a corner of the room, right. Basically, we can assume that they might be staring at a ghost, or something else that is invisible to the human eye.”
“…What about it?”
“Maybe this rabbit sees something behind you?”
“Wha…”
Together with bewilderment, the girl staggered backwards. Since she’s living in a real haunted flat, she probably has a faint idea.
“T-That’s just a superstition!”
“Probably. But, you’re scared, right?”
“~~~!” The bunny-eared maid grabbed the hem of her apron dress, gritting her teeth.
It’s not that I just blindly believe this kind of talk. The show I was watching back then seemed pretty fishy to me anyway. However, the rabbit is currently fearing Masamune. Well, if I had to guess, the rabbit is probably just terrified of Masamune’s demonic face. Because…the smile when she approached it was hella scary.
“Alright then, I’ll go to Mount Osore, and get this thing exorcised.”
“That’s a bit fast, alright. Also, travelling to Aomori will cost you a lot, you know?”
“Urk…I don’t care. It’s for this rabbit!”
“I really feel like this guy will be given to a pet shop before you come back from Aomori.”
This is just my guess, but this guy probably isn’t just any ordinary rabbit. It has this noble feeling to it, like it had a long-lasting heritage. My bet is that it ran away from some shop.
“Stupid chicken.”
As I was lost in my thoughts, Masamune approached me on staggering feet…This is bad. Her expression looks mighty bad.
“M-Masamune?”
“Hey…hand over Pyonkichi, okay?”
“…!?”
There, Masamune moved on top of me. Waaah, what is she doing now!? Even though the fabric of the costume was thin, I could feel her soft body. If she’s sticking this close to me, my gynophobia will activate again.
“Or, let’s run away together?”
“R-Run away…”
“We’ll leave this place, together with Pyonkichi.”
“D-Do you really think that will work?”
“It’s fine, I’ll do something about it. Also…”
“…Also?” When I returned a question, Masamune’s cheeks turned beet red.
“…I’ll give you a kiss.”
“……”
Stop right there, Masamune-san. Aren’t you skipping a few steps here?
“D-Don’t get the wrong idea! Only on the cheek, okay! It’ll be like a reward!”
“A-A reward…!?”
“Not to mention, when I said ‘Kiss me’ before, you had such a happy face.”
“I did!?”
“I could even see a ‘Garter belts are the best’ face in there.”
“Your eyes have gotten crazy, that’s all!”
Looking at people with such a biased view…Does she think garter belts are in my mind 24/7? I do dream about them from time to time, but that’s about it.
“There’s also that incident with Nakuru…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“T-That’s…This is all for the sake of you not setting foot into the world of BL, okay! I’m not lying, you hear me!? Nakuru is relentlessly approaching you, right? As a result of that, you might awaken to BL! As your friend, I don’t want that!” Masamune declared with an awfully desperate tone.
Yeah, not happening. Though I bet Nakuru is probably planning on brainwashing me into liking BL.
“That’s why…Stupid chicken.” She called out my name with a feeble voice, and brought her face closer to mine.
Eeek, so close! I’ll get a nosebleed if you keep going like that!
“…Mm.”
Right in front of my eyes was the bunny-eared maid Usami Masamune. Although she tried to act tough, her lips were quivering ever so slightly. Slowly but steadily, she brought her face closer, with my world growing smaller. Right as her soft lips were about to touch my cheek—
“Jirou?”
There, an alto voice made Masamune stop in her tracks. Looking over, there stood Konoe Subaru who had changed into her butler uniform. She must have been chasing after us.
“Subaru-sama!?” Immediately after, Masamune leaped away from me.
…That was dangerous. I guess even that nasty rabbit is too embarrassed to kiss someone in front of other people.
“Subaru-sama! Help me! Let’s both protect Pyonkichi!”
Urk…Damn it, she immediately jumped sides as soon as Konoe got here. Now it’s two versus one, and I can’t negotiate anymore.
“…Sorry, Usami, that won’t work.”
“Eh…?” Masamune grew pale.
“Just now, the young lady called a nearby pet shop, asking if a rabbit ran away recently. As expected, they were looking for one rabbit, so an employee is coming over to pick it up.”
“T-That’s…!”
“That’s why, if you want to keep Pyonkichi…you have to buy him. If you pay the price, the pet shop will agree.”
“I’ll buy him! No price is too much! How much is he!?”
“……” Konoe showed a troubled expression, and continued, albeit hesitating.
“50.000 yen.”
“…Excuse me?”
“Did you not hear me? It’s 50.000 yen, Pyonkichi’s price. He’s a Holland Lop, with a pure bloodline as well.”
“F-Fifty…”
“Can you pay that? Cash?”
“……”
50.000 yen is too much for a high school student, especially for one who is already poor. Forced to accept this reality, Masamune started crying, bawling her eyes out like a child.
×
“Bye bye, Pyonkichi…”
Sending off the pet shop employee who came to pick up Pyonkichi, the bunny-eared maid waved her hand. This concluded the search tour through the Suzutsuki Residence. The invader was caught safely, and returned to the place it belonged. It undoubtedly was a happy end—except for a single maid.
“Uuuu…” Masamune’s eyes were teary at this farewell.
…Damn, she really is helpless.
“Don’t be so depressed, he just went back to the place it belonged.”
“…Yeah. But, he might be lonely all on his own…”
“It’s fine, I’m sure somebody will go buy him. And then, he’ll have a new home and a new family, so he won’t be lonely.”
“…Family…” Masamune muttered. “Y-Yeah, you’re right. With a new family, Pyonkichi won’t be lonely.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I nodded, to which Masamune’s expression cheered up a bit.
Thank god, she’s feeling better now. Leaving that aside however…
“How long are you planning on wearing those bunny ears?”
“…!?” Masamune covered her head with both her arms. “I-I just forgot to take them off!”
“They look good on you though.”
“T-They sure as hell don’t! I’m not happy even if you tell me that!” Masamune said, and blushed furiously.
“Usami, now that Pyonkichi is gone, I’ll be teaching you your job. The young lady gave me the order for this.”
“Ah, yes, Subaru-sama!”
“Good. Follow me.” Konoe walked down the hallway.
Masamune followed after him, and turned towards me for a split second.
“T-Thanks, stupid chicken.”
“Jesus…”
She really can never be honest with herself. If she’s happy about me cheering her up, she should just say so. Well, it’s the same as always.
“…Hm?”
There, I caught on to something. Ever since we caught and returned the rabbit, Ichigo-san has been practically staring at Masamune. I wonder why, maybe there’s something she wants to say?
“Odd Jobs-san, we’ll return to our normal duties.”
Seems like she caught on to my gaze, as she walked down the floor. What was that about? Don’t think it has any special reason, but…
“Well, whatever.” I stretched my back, and returned to my usual duties.
Today, I had to do some more cleaning. However, it felt like dinner time was approaching fast as well. Since we said we’d all eat together, maybe I should get that done first and then move to cleaning…
“…Hm?”
There, right as I was deciding on my plans after this, my phone started ringing with the sound of the nursery rhyme ‘Rabbit’…Wait, that’s Masamune sending me a message? She should have returned to her own room by now. Maybe there’s something she forgot to tell me? I took out my smartphone, and checked the message I had received.
‘I forgot to tell you, but be careful around that maid…around Ichigo-san.’
“………”
Um, what kind of ominous message is that? Some chain mail? I feel like that’s a bit too extreme.
“Also, it’s a bit too late for that.”
I know that Ichigo-san is hella dangerous. She’s a yandere, clearly violates weapon laws, and really hates my guts.
“Well, she still is my senior, so I don’t think there’s any reason to worry.” I muttered, using my common sense to arrive at this conclusion.
Right as I started walking down the hallway again—
“Odd Jobs-san.”
Talk about the devil. Standing down the hallway was Ichigo-san, who should have walked away by now. The time was moving towards evening, with a setting sun shining through the windows, illuminating her appearance blood red. In her hand, she held a small dust cloth.
“Emergency. Another problem arose.”
“Urk…”
Another rabbit? Please no, I don’t want to see another furry monster. I’d rather not enjoy a second hunting time.
“However, it’s a bit different this time.”
“Different?”
“The job this time—is extermination. Not capturing, but exterminating. We can’t let the target live.”
“So what we did just now won’t work? Is it troublesome?” I asked the girl, who slowly walked towards me.
In doing so, the girl’s lips faintly rose to form a smile.
“YES. The target this time…is a harmful animal.”
“Eh?”
I was about to ask just what exactly she was talking about, but my words were cut off. Ichigo-san used the small dust cloth—and pushed it onto my mouth.
“…!?”
Immediately after, I felt dizzy. Because of this sudden event, my consciousness started to grow hazy. All strength left my body.
“Good night, Odd Jobs-san.”
Amidst my fading consciousness, I heard a faint robotic voice, with an odd emotion residing in it—until even that vanished.
1 Eel
2 A song by Shinji Tanimura.
3 Gokiburi, which means cockroach
4 Yomiuri Giants, a Japanese baseball team
5 I can, and it’s shown in the manga/anime Terraformers
6 In Japanese mythology, Susano’o, the Japanese god of the seas, was the one who drove Amaterasu into the Celestial Cave. This caused the sun to hide for a long period of time. In order to get Amaterasu out of the cave the other gods threw a party outside.
Chapter 60: Volume 7 - CH 4
The morning after that stressful incident arrived, basically my second day of working at the Suzutsuki Residence. After all classes for the day ended, and I made my home, I explained what exactly had happened to Suzutsuki. Or rather, I was forced to explain. The second I set foot inside the residence, Suzutsuki called me to the banquet hall. Of course, I was wearing the dog costume as my uniform.
“That’s not fair. Just when I thought someone was hiding there, it turned out to be the two of you, having fun between yourselves.” Suzutsuki-san smiled.
Naturally, I kept the part of Konoe being naked or me k-k-k-kissing her a secret. Not like I could even, I still haven’t fully dealt with the repercussions of my own actions. That also seemed to be the case for Konoe. Either she was too embarrassed after being seen naked, or shocked because of my sudden kiss, but she’s been staying in her room all day. Subaru-sama is in her shut-in mode.
“But, why is she just holing up inside her room? That never happened before.”
“W-Who knows? I have no clue.”
“Hmmmm.” The young lady narrowed her eyes, and closely inspected me.
Knowing her, she probably would catch on to that reason sooner or later.
“Well, it’s fine. Thanks to that, I can take another day off school.”
“Since you took a day off yesterday, it’d be weird if you’re suddenly back to full energy.”
“That is true, but I’m also lacking a bit of sleep.”
“Lacking sleep?”
“Recently, I have had trouble falling asleep.”
“Hmmm.”
“It’s not like my body is burning up with passion or anything though.”
“Nobody asked about that.”
“But you were thinking about it?”
“I wasn’t thinking about it either!”
“Anyway, my body feels a bit sluggish. Probably because I didn’t get much sleep lately.” Suzutsuki let out an adorable yawn. “That reminds me, where is Kureha-chan?”
“She has club activities today, so she’s coming home late.”
“Yeah, I doubt she’ll come out anytime soon.”
After all, even when Kureha and Suzutsuki tried to talk to her, she wouldn’t even let them in. I thought of checking on her as well, but feared that I might just make things worse if I did, so I decided against it. I feel like it’s better for me to just leave her alone.
“…My goodness, we have Jirou-kun as a servant, and yet she seems fully intent on wasting this chance.”
“Hm?”
“Ah, don’t worry about it. Just me talking to myself.” Suzutsuki-san flashed a profound smile.
She’s probably thinking of a way to tease me again, I bet. Not to mention that this is her home base, her own ground. On top of that, with the Suzutsuki fanatic Ichigo-san always observing what I’m doing, I can’t relax for even a second.
“Also, your job today will be cleaning. Since you finished the residence yesterday, you’ll move to the garden today.”
“Urk…”
Hey now, are you kidding me? I’m supposed to clean that entire garden myself?
“Rest assured, you won’t be forced to finish it all in one day. Also, I’ll make sure you get to eat at a reasonable time.”
“At least the menu is a bit better than before.”
I guess even Ichigo-san felt bad giving me only sugar cubes, because she properly gave me some breakfast (although only instant ramen with rice). It’s at least better than sugar cubes.
“Oh yeah, I was a bit surprised during breakfast.”
“Why is that?”
“I mean, normally servants and master wouldn’t eat breakfast together, right?”
I thought that us servants would be eating breakfast during a different time, at a different place, but to my surprise, we all sat at the same dinner table. I was curious about that, but it seemed to be a Suzutsuki Family rule, saying that servants are like family, so you all eat together.
“Normally it’s different, but right now we’re eating together. No idea how other people do it, but I think that eating with everyone is much more enjoyable. If not for that, I would have to eat all on my own.”
“Yeah, since you’re the only master present right now.”
Suzutuski’s parents, and even the old man, are currently out of the house, which leaves Suzutsuki as our only master. She has full control over this place right now.
“Indeed, she’s a girl called Hinata Mayoi. Right now, she’s hospitalized because of an appendix. She lost her home like you two did, and ended up seeking refuge here at our residence. After a lot of back and forths, we took her in as a servant.”
“Yeah, makes sense that you can’t just let us stay for free, then, but…”
I still feel like—that’s not the only reason. Of course, I have no proof for that. It’s just my intuition, which starts beeping because we’re talking about that rich lady. She always has ulterior motives.
“Well, that’s not the only reason I made you and Kureha-chan servants here.”
“Eh?”
Surprisingly enough, Suzutsuki answered my doubts for myself. And if that wasn’t enough, she showed a perfect smile that would make Audrey Hepburn blush, as she continued.
“Can’t forget about that incident with Nakuru-chan.”
“Are you…talking about that confession?”
“Indeed. She’s been on the attack ever since, and it would be troublesome if you started dating her. I’d lose my precious time of having fun and teasing you.”
“Yeah, you’re worrying for nothing, that won’t happen.”
Also, I’m not your plaything, you hear me. I feel like I’m always dancing on the top of your palm.
“It’s important to have fun. When it comes to my parents, or even Nagare, staying at this residence would have been pretty lonely. I figured that keeping you two here would make it more lively. Not to mention…”
“…What?”
“I’ve become Yamitsuki-san now, so I need to bully you some more.”
“…’Zat so.”
Damn Devil Suzutsuki, she still wants to play around with me after all. I’m clearly being treated like some puppy.
“……”
But…something doesn’t add up.
—I’ll continue to bully you from now on.
It just doesn’t make any sense. It’s almost like she’s trying to be the antagonist, so that my affection towards her lowers…
“However, I’m sure that things will get even more noisy from now on.”
“Eh?”
Because of Suzutsuki’s profound words, I found my thoughts coming to a halt. Even more noisy? I feel like this right now is plenty already, we feel like we’re a circus group, with the circus leader being the young lady. Other circus members are the yandere maid, and the cross-dressing butler. We have my little sister as the lion, and I’m the lion tamer. Of course, I would fail miserably every time, which generates laughter from the audience.
“She should be coming soon.”
“Coming soon…?”
Who? Right as I wanted to ask that, someone knocked on the door. Shortly after, the door opened and a single maid walked in. Her uniform was a bit different from the one worn by Ichigo-san or Kureha, but the basic design looked familiar.
“…Masamune?”
That’s right, I was looking at Usami Masamune. She had her hair in her usual twintails, wearing the same maid uniform she had kept on during her part-time job at the maid cafe. For some reason however, she gave me a really displeased look.
×
“As you can see, Usami-san will be working at our residence starting today.” Our current master delivered the news with an awfully calm and nonchalant expression.
…Now hold on a damn second, she’s going to work here? Are you saying that she’ll become a servant like we are?
“Hey, what is this about?” I walked over to Masamune, asking her.
Immediately after, she blew a fuse and screamed at me.
“How would I know! When I went to work today, I was ordered to come here, no questions asked!”
“By who?”
“The store manager, of course! More importantly, Suzutsuki Kanade! This is all your doing, right!?”
It seems like she really is not a big fan of this situation. This kind of harsh attitude was new, even for Masamune.
“What might you be talking about?”
“Do you have any proof for that?”
“The store manager’s pupils looked like $ signs! Not to mention that she gave me the weird order of coming here while wearing my maid uniform!”
“Maybe because it’s a cute uniform?”
“As a result of that, I was embarrassed as all hell while walking through town!” The nasty rabbit was boiling with rage.
I guess this is just how cruel society and labour can be. To think she was forced to walk through town while cosplaying, it really is all going downhill.
“Urk…Why do I have to work as a maid here of all the places…”
“Don’t act like this is some tragedy. Rest assured, I did my studying already.”
“Studying…?” Masamune asked, to which Suzutsuki grinned, and took out a small book.
Written on the cover, it said…
“‘A Guide On How To Keep A Pet Rabbit: Master It In 5 Minutes!’, see.”
“You’re making fun of me, right!?”
“Of course, mastering it in five minutes is practically impossible.”
“That’s not what I meant!”
“Should we get to some light revision? ‘Step 1: Rabbits are herbivores’.”
“That sure is a simple first step!”
“‘Step 2: You cannot put a drenched rabbit into a microwave’.”
“That’s just common sense!?”
“‘Step 3: Rabbits die if they get too lonely, pyon…’.”
“That’s just a misconception! Also, what do you mean by ‘pyon’!?”
“It’s not Unagi, it’s U-Sa-Gi! Wait, stop! My name is Usami!”
“Having these kinds of exchanges really helps me relax as of late.”
“Don’t use people as mental stabilizers!” Masamune was gasping for air, as she relentlessly threw in retorts.
…Wow. You really don’t need to retort on every little thing. You’ll just be exhausted like you ran a marathon. It’s like ‘Sarai2’ is playing in the background.
“I mean, why didn’t you just decline then?”
I feel like that would be an obvious doubt. Masamune clearly was popular in the maid cafe, so she could have just stayed there if you ask me.
“Urk…I had my own…you know, circumstances.”
“…Was the pay too juicy to decline?”
“How did you know!?”
“I mean…”
That’s pretty much the only reason I could see that would make you accept this. Because of Masamune’s family circumstances, she’s pretty much living a poor life. Best evidenced by the fact that she’s actually living in a haunted flat. If anything, she looks like she has $ signs as pupils.
“Hey! What’s that belittling gaze about! We’re talking about a solid 10.000 yen a day, okay!? And, I was guaranteed food and a place to sleep if I stayed here!”
“Even so, you’ll be working as a maid, right?”
Not to mention her master being Suzutsuki Kanade. It’s like she formed a pact with the devil. Nothing good can come out of this. Then again, not like I’m one to talk.
“Hmpf, if it’s for my own lifestyle, I can put up with a lot of things. Not to mention…”
“Not to mention?”
“…I-I was a bit curious…how you were doing here. With the fire the day before yesterday, I was there, and yet…unlike Suzutsuki Kanade, I couldn’t do anything…” She whispered with a voice about to disappear.
So, was she worried about me and Kureha? I mean, she was there when we learned of the fact that our house burned down, so she must be at least curious about how we’re doing…At the root of it all, she really is kind.
“…Hm?”
“Kanade-ojousama.”
Right after someone knocked on the door, I heard a robotic voice. It was undoubtedly Ichigo-san. She had no expression on her face as always, walking towards us.
“Ichigo, she’ll be a temporary maid starting today. Her name is Usami-san, so please take good care of her.”
“Yes. Nice to meet you, newcomer.”
“H-Hello.” Masasmune gave an awkward greeting.
She never stops being shy around strangers huh, almost like an actual rabbit.
“However, Kanade-ojousama, this isn’t the time for self-introductions.”
“Hm? Did something happen?” Suzutsuki tilted her head.
Ichigo-san kept a serious tone, and explained.
“We have an intruder.”
“What?”
Both mine and Masamune’s voice overlapped. An intruder? Where did that come from?
“My, that sounds troublesome.”
“My deepest apologies, the security seems to have missed them…”
“Don’t worry about it. The question is how we deal with them from now on. How many intruders?”
“Only one. However, we cannot relax. What should we do?”
“As we always would. This is an order, Ichigo. Capture this intruder as quickly as possible.”
“Understood, Kanade-ojousama.” The maid deeply lowered her head.
Hey now, when did this turn into some battle manga? Not to mention capture? If the intruder is a thief or someone of that level, shouldn’t we be calling 110 instead?
I couldn’t allow there to be any victims, so I thought I should report to my senior.
“What is it, Odd Jobs-san.”
“If that intruder is a thief, wouldn’t it be much simpler to call the police?”
“We can’t do that. The intruder is not a thief.”
“A robber?”
“NO. Something even more terrifying.” Ichigo-san’s expression stayed serious.
Maybe it’s Mom? When we were caught in the middle of a bank robbery before, she completely rendered all of the robbers immobile in a mere five minutes. She’s much more terrifying than them.
“Or rather, it’s not even a human.”
“Eh?”
“It’s fluffy, with thick fur, long ears and crimson eyes, a true little monster…”
“……”
Um…is that possibly…
“A rabbit?”
“YES. I don’t know how, but it must have somehow found its way in here.”
“But, is there really any need to panic like this…”
“Of course. Rabbits can bite through the electricity cords of this residence, and create a fire without us knowing.”
I see. Still, to think it was a rabbit. Maybe it ran away from its owner, or escaped a pet shop.
“However, it’s much better than that.”
“That?”
“…Are you talking about a—”
“Stop that, Jirou-kun. We don’t use such an accursed name. Just call it G3, that’s more than enough.”
“I mean, I get that, but…”
Naturally, she’s not talking about a Gun*am, nor about Yomiuri G*ants4. Basically, she’s talking about the black and aggressive insects that love invading other people’s homes, said there to be at least 30 if you see a single one.
“Now that you mention it, one of them managed to invade this residence before.”
“It’s been seven years since then. I have not forgotten once. The grave damages befalling this residence…”
“How grave was that, then?”
“Yes. So much smoke. All because of Subaru.”
“Because of Konoe?”
“The fire alarm went off.”
“…Ahh.”
Ahh, I see. But, is that really something worth calling grave damage?
“To think he would blow up the entire room they had invaded with dynamite.”
“That’s where the smoke came from!?”
“The fire alarm worked just fine.”
“And what good did that do!?”
“The only saving grace is that she didn’t use much gunpowder. With another 500g, the entire place would have been blown to smithereens.”
“……”
“This is all Subaru’s fault, since he stole these explosives from the construction grounds.”
“Kanade-ojousama, this isn’t enough to just laugh off. Have you forgotten the headlines of the following day’s newspaper? It said ‘Break of Japanese Safety! A Terrorist Attack in a Usually Peaceful Residential District!?’.”
“Pushing away the mass media was a lot of trouble back then. We somehow covered it up with a gas explosion though.”
“…Well, I guess he really just hates them after all.”
Never met a girl who actually likes cockroaches. Though, blowing up this entire place is taking things a bit too far.
“Hmpf, what’s the problem? It’s just some G.”
However, the other girl in the room, Masamune, seemed fairly calm about this. That’s the nasty rabbit for you. Now that’s some energy to have, I want to keep her at home.
“I mean, they’re only the size of a human, right?”
“Isn’t that bit too big!?”
“Eh? Isn’t that normal?”
“In what way!? That would bring ruin to humanity as a whole!”
“They often stand on my pillow.”
“Stand!? In what way!?”
“On two legs?”
“They’re not some panda! They’re crawling on the ground!”
“That’s not scary at all!”
“I’m terrified of your home, okay!?”
“I’ve been scared from the very beginning, but I’ve gotten used to it.”
“Used to it…”
“Recently, I’ve even been talking to them.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to keep a steady communication?”
“Those things don’t have any common sense or humanity in them!”
“They started it with ‘Won’t you become friends with me?’ though.”
“Are you being serious!?”
Scary. I can’t even imagine human-sized Gs just standing there, in my own home. It sounds like it would be out of a horror movie5. Also…I’m having trouble believing this. Our conversations clearly don’t seem to match up. Maybe we think of different things when we talk about Gs?
“Masamune, what do you think a G is?”
“Huh? You were talking with me, and yet didn’t even know what that is? Makes sense why it seemed like we were talking past each other.” Masamune said, and approached my ear.
She probably didn’t want to trigger Suzutsuki after her previous statement of ‘Don’t say its name’.
“—You’re talking about ghosts, right?”
“What?”
“Don’t ‘What?’ me. The initial is G, right? Then, it has to be a ghost. But, why would they be here? Is this built on a graveyard or a hospital?”
“……”
Ahh, right. GHOST, I see. That would explain a lot of things. After all, her flat is like a haunted house. I can see a ghost of about 170cm standing on her pillow. That’s a relief…well, not really. However, if I keep this misunderstanding going, it might complicate things later. I was just trying to think of a way of achieving that, when…
“Newcomer. The G you’re talking about is different from the G we’re talking about.”
“Eh?” Masamune seemed confused, as Ichigo-san approached her ears, and started whispering.
She was probably explaining the truth to her. After all, Masamune’s face slowly turned pale.
“Eh? G is…that?”
“YES. What’s wrong? Are you scared after all?”
“O-O-O-Of course I’m not! I’m totally fine, really!” Masamune tried to stay calm, showing a twitching smile. “That’s right, compared to the ghost at my place, this is nothing.”
“Really.”
“Ah, newcomer, there’s a G at your feet.”
“Kyaaaaaaah!?” Masamune jumped up a solid 30cm.
Of course, there was no G around. It was just a classic trap. Geez, what do you mean you’re not scared? You screamed like a little girl…
“Nooooo!”
“Guheh!?”
Masamune seemingly started panicking, as she clung to my neck. Gyaaaaaaah, stop that! My gynophobia! If you hug me that aggressively, my gynophobia will make me pass out!
“Nooo! Get away! Don’t come over here!”
“L-Let go of me, Masamune!”
“No! No no no no! Don’t cast me aside! Please, let me stay with you!”
“Hey, I’m begging you here, just calm down a bit…Geho!?”
Crack, Masamune’s slender arms wrapped around my neck. This is bad, this isn’t even about my gynophobia anymore. It’s a classic dead or alive. I’ll be killed by a maid, with a choke sleeper.
“Hic….Waaah…I’m scared…!”
Her nasty attitude vanished elsewhere, as she started weeping. She was like any other weak and fragile girl. However, I want to cry myself. She kept pushing her body onto me, to which her sweet and girly scent tickled my nose, her softness being conveyed even through my costume. The sensation of a girl…
“Urk…”
…Not good, I’ll pass out for real…
“Newcomer, how long do you plan on clinging to him?” Ichigo-san’s robotic voice rang out.
In response to that, Masamune let out a dumbfounded ‘Eh?’, and returned to reality. And then, she confirmed her own situation.
“!”
“W-Why were you clinging to me like that?!”
“Excuse me, but I think you got it backwards…”
“Shut up! Dummy! Stupid chicken! I wasn’t scared at all! It’s because you just…!”
“NO. You most certainly were quite scared.”
“Wha…what are you saying, um…”
“Just call me ‘Ichigo-san’, I am referring to you as ‘Newcomer’ after all.”
“Then…Ichigo-san, prove it to me. There’s no way I was that scared…”
“‘Nooo! Get away! Don’t come over here!’”
“!?”
“‘No! No no no no! Don’t cast me aside! Please, let me stay with you!’”
“~~~!”
“This has been a reenactment of the happenings just now.”
“Lies! That’s not true! There’s no way I would act so embarrassing…”
“Ah, a real G this time.”
“Kyaaaaaa!” Masamune screamed one more time, clinging to my neck again.
No, you’re absolutely terrified. Also, can you just stay away from me right now? My nose will actually start bleeding.
“Newcomer, that was a lie again.”
“…!?”
“It’s fine, we won’t be chasing after a G, but a mere rabbit. That’s why, you don’t have to be so terrified.”
“I see. Then…it is time we depart. Kanade-ojousama, please stay here safely.”
“I’m counting on you, Ichigo.”
“Leave it to me.”
With confident steps, Ichigo-san stepped out onto the hallway. Seems like she’s motivated for a hunt this time. With her eyepatch, she looks like a real hunter. Right now, it felt like I could hear Wagner’s ‘Ride of the Valkyries’.
“H-Hmpf! What, I wasn’t that scared after all!”
Masamune finally moved away from me, and stomped after Ichigo-san. I let out a sigh, and chased after the two. Either way, this counts as the start of our searching trip through the Suzutsuki Residence. The members this time around were two maids, and one odd jobs costume. What an unreliable party, really. It’s like we’re a dog, ape, and pheasant from Momotarou. We might even get some sweet dumplings after this. And if that wasn’t enough, our master was Suzutsuki Kanade.
“Wait a second.”
See, talk about the devil. Right as we walked down the hallway, Suzutsuki came after us. She showed a teasing grin on her face, like a child about to prank its parents.
“Usami-san, can I have a moment?”
“What?”
“Come on, you don’t need to be so on edge, it’s just a present.”
“A present?”
“Yes, since you’re going hunting for a rabbit, you need to put this on.” Suzutsuki said, and offered something to Masamune.
They’re bunny ears. The bunny ears hung down a headband, looking like your usual cosplay goods, colored pure white.
“By the way, this is an order. If you don’t wear this, I’ll have to reduce your salary.”
“……”
Pride and salary were on the line. Put between the two choices, Masamune took a solid 30 minutes to decide.
×
“…So, where did it go?”
“First, the kitchen. That’s why we’ll go there first. It managed to escape me then, but now we capture it.” Ichigo-san had no expression whatsoever as always, but I could hear a faint passion in her voice.
From her skirt, I could hear a metallic rattling sound. It’s probably some kind of weapon she probably picked up.
“Aren’t you a bit too well-prepared?”
“NO. A lion doesn’t hold back even against a rabbit. This is the same.
“You’re a maid, you can’t go hunting.”
“What a shame.”
“…Also, there’s one more thing I wanted to ask.”
“YES?”
“You’re a maid, so why do you have so many weapons?”
Apparently, her only weapon isn’t just a chainsaw. A crowbar, a knife, an ice pick, a fork…and so on. She’s clearly violating all sorts of weapon laws.
“…Hm.” Ichigo-san seemed to be thinking about my words for a moment, and then… “……….Hobby.”
Yeah, well, there’s really too many parts for me to retort on, but I’m scared to ask any more, so I’ll leave it at that. That’s right, everybody has their own hobby…although I feel like the people around me are a bit too different.
“Urk…Why do I have to do this…” The maid with bunny ears grit her teeth as she groaned.
She says so, but I think those bunny ears look pretty good on her.
“Stupid chicken, what are you staring at me for?”
“I was just thinking that you were changing from Usamin to Usamimin.”
“Why do you make me sound like some monster out of a game!? Geez, I’m not wearing this because I want to…” Masamune bit her lip.
I should go tell the store manager. If you want more customers, you need to come up with a plan to make Masamune wear this, as well as the other maids.
“—Arrival.” Ichigo-san announced this with as much of a robotic voice as always.
“…NO. It doesn’t seem to be here. Must have moved.” The eyepatch maid shook her head.
Eh? What, she only looked around, and yet…
“I don’t feel the presence of a living being here.”
“………”
Does she have some sort of radar? I didn’t think she’d be judging that solely based on presence and whatever. I don’t know if she’s being serious, but all I have to do is listen to orders.
“Then, should we move? Now that it’s come to this, we have to search every small corner…”
“NO. We will recharge.”
“What?”
“You cannot fight with an empty stomach.” She said, and sat down at a kitchen chair, taking out a fork from somewhere, and held it in both her hands.
“Stomach’s empty. Anything is fine, just make it.”
“……”
“As a junior, you’re supposed to listen to your senior’s request.”
“………”
“If possible, I’d like some pancakes.”
“……”
Is this woman looking down on me? It might seem like quite the ridiculous request, but if I’m not careful and don’t respond to her wishes, I might be turned into a carpaccio with those weapons of hers. Then again, I’m also feeling a bit hungry right now, so it would probably be for the best if I replenish some energy myself. Alright, time to…
“Sorry, Masamune.”
“Huh!? Why me!?”
“Well, I know it’s pathetic, but I don’t know how to make it.”
“But, I’m sure they’d be much more delicious if you made them.”
I was speaking my mind here. Masamune’s cooking skill isn’t anything to scoff at. The meat and potato stew I ate this summer was great, so me wanting to eat more of her cooking was just me being honest.
“~~~! O-Okay! If you’re that adamant on it, I’ll make some. But, I’ll eat some as well!” She let out a sigh, and moved towards the fridge to look for ingredients.
Hmmm, she’s acting like she hates it, but I bet she probably likes cooking. I’ve seen how much she enjoyed herself when she was cooking after all.
“……”
Now, after waiting for around ten minutes, Masamune lined up steamy hot pancakes on the kitchen table.
“I actually love pancakes.” After giving a comment with no intonation or expression resembling her words, Ichigo-san grabbed a piece of the pancakes, and carried it to her mouth.
At least she’s not actually a robot. She might look like an adult on the outside, but she now seemed like a child who simply loved pancakes.
“Stupid chicken, it’ll get cold if you don’t eat them soon.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“N-No biggie. It wasn’t hard or anything. But, you should be more thankful”.
“You’re right. Thanks a lot.” I gave my thanks, and carried a piece of a pancake to my mouth.
I immediately tasted the soft and fluffy consistency, together with the sweetness of maple syrup…yeah, delicious. I guess eating some childish food like this doesn’t hurt once in a while.
“Why don’t you become the chef here?” Ichigo-san seemed to agree with me, as she asked this with sparkling eyes.
“Don’t you already have a chef?”
“YES. However, she is NO. She is too much of a deviant.”
“I’m not a deviant, but I’d rather not be a chef. I don’t have that big of a repertoire to begin with.” Masamune declined, and averted her gaze.
Hmmm, she really is cold towards random people. Though I feel like it’s gotten a bit better at least. When she first met me, she was ice cold to me, but now we’re talking just fine. Maybe she’s gotten better at actually believing other people.
“By the way.” There, Ichigo-san licked up some maple syrup from her lips, and spoke up. “Are you two dating?”
“…YES?”
“N-N-Not at all! NO, okay, NO! Who would go out with a stupid chicken like him!?” Masamune recovered a bit faster than me, and frantically denied Ichigo-san’s assumption.
You don’t need to be that desperate, you know? Also, why are you slapping me on the back, Masamune-san? You’ll force up all the pancakes I already gulped down.
“…Shame. If only you two were dating.”
“What?”
“No, just talking to myself. More importantly, we finished recharging. Departure.”
You are reading story Mayo Chiki! at novel35.com
Ichigo-san stood up like the previous exchange didn’t happen. I finally was able to breathe again after gushing some water down my throat, and followed after her. If only we were dating? Why? What does she gain from that?“So, where do we go now?” Masamune asked after we left the kitchen.
Since Ichigo-san spotted it around here, there’s a good chance that it might be nearby. It feels like we’re inside Alice in Wonderland.
“Odd Jobs-san, can you trace after its scent?”
“What am I, some police dog?”
“…So why did you even tag along?”
“That’s what you expected from me!?”
“Can’t help it then, we’ll search through the residence.” The eyepatch maid walked on ahead.
She’s still fully intent on treating me as a dog because I’m wearing this costume? Maybe she just hates my guts. Either way, with a bit of banter like this, we moved through the hallways of the Suzutsuki Residence. The inside of these hallways were decorated with vases, paintings, and other expensive-looking furniture, every single thing just gorgeous to look at.
“If I sold this, I could live for an entire month…”
Masamune seemingly felt similar to me, as she looked at all the antique items with a resentful gaze. Yeah, that’s the kind of commoner reaction I would expect. Really makes me realize how we live in two different worlds.
“Let’s check in here next.”
“Subaru.” Ichigo-san knocked on the room’s door, calling out to the person inside.
Immediately after, I heard an alto voice, responding with ‘What?’. That’s right, this is Konoe’s room. To the right, you can now see the crossdressing butler’s room, ladies and gentlemen.
“Ichigo. What do you want?”
“Something important. So, open the door, will you?”
“…Don’t wanna.” For some reason, Konoe immediately rejected that request. “I’ll stay here in my room for a while, so leave.”
“……”
This is bad, Subaru-sama turned into an actual shut-in. The reason for that has to be yesterday’s incident, I bet. Ahh, so awkward. With what face should I even meet her from now on.
“NO. Open the door.”
“No.”
“Staying in your room for too long is poison for your body.”
“Just for a little while. Once I’ve calmed down and thought everything through, I’ll go back to my work.”
“Don’t say that, you could eat some delicious pancakes right now.”
“Urk…I-I don’t care…” Or so she said, but I heard faint grumbling across the door, most likely from her stomach.
She’s clearly hungry, what an easy fellow.
“Shame. They were so delicious. Even Odd Jobs-san was thoroughly enjoying them.”
“Wha…! Not fair! Everyone eating together while leaving me out!”
“I thought you didn’t want to eat any?”
“Urk…!”
“Now, the newcomer will make some more for you, so come on out.”
“YES. Her pancakes are the best. So, open up already.”
“~~~!”
That’s Ichigo-san for you, she’s been living together with Konoe for a while, so she knows how she ticks. Though, it’s a bit doubtful if Masamune will actually make pancakes again.
“…N-No.”
However, our dear butler was quite obstinate today. She really wants to be alone today, huh. Or, she just doesn’t want to run into me.
“I see. It can’t be helped, then.” Surprisingly enough, Ichigo-san gave up fairly quickly.
Then, she beckoned me and Masamune over, whispering to us.
“Help me out. We need to get Subaru out of there.”
“How?”
“I call it…the Gate of the Celestial Cave6 Operation.”
“Isn’t that…”
It’s part of an old legend, where the gods held a party in order to draw out a god hiding in a cave by throwing a party and making them jealous.
“So basically, we just have to talk about something that will get him invested.”
“For example?”
“For example, something like…………”
“…!? Why does it have to be something so embarrassing!?”
Masamune had stayed quiet until now, but spoke up to protest immediately after hearing of Ichigo-san’s plan. Personally, I can’t blame her. It is pretty embarrassing.
“That’s something he’s interested in after all.”
“B-But…!”
“!?”
“It can’t be helped, Odd Jobs-san and I barely have known each other for a few days, so it wouldn’t make much sense.”
“B-But, doing that with the stupid chicken is…”
“If you say no, then I’ll be lowering your salary.”
“~~~!” Masamune groaned in despair, and turned towards me. “Stupid chicken, I’m only doing this for my salary. I need to do this in order to survive, so don’t get the wrong idea, okay.”
“Y-Yeah.”
“You get that!?”
“I-I understand!”
Woah, Masamune was actually persuaded. In preparation, she took off her bunny ears. I guess she’s too embarrassed to act that out with those on.
“Start the show. Knowing Subaru, he is definitely listening in on us. If you do what I told you, he should come jumping out with ‘No licentious actions allowed in the young lady’s residence!’, I bet.” Ichigo-san showed us her thumb, praying for our luck in battle.
Or, that’s what it felt like at least.
“S-Stupid chicken…” With tension filling her face, Masamune called out to me.
Then, she put her hands together in front of my chest, her eyes dampened as they looked at me…
“…Kiss me…!”
The plan for me was to say ‘Yeah! I am in love with your eyes, baby!’, but right after Masamune finished her sentence, the door to Konoe’s room shot open. Since it was filled with momentum, the door slammed right into my body, sending me flying with a ‘Guha!?’, as I slammed into the wall.
“N-No! No licentious actions allowed in the young lady’s residence…Huh?” After opening the door with a beet red face, Konoe stared at me in disbelief.
You’re amazing, Ichigo-san. You perfectly guessed Subaru-sama’s actions.
“Subaru, thanks for opening the door.” Ichigo-san gave her gratitude with no emotion in her voice, as she grabbed the door.
Konoe on her part screamed ‘Y-You set me up!?’ and tried to close the door again, but…
Her eyes met with mine, and she froze up. Of course, I doubt that happened because she saw me splattered against the wall. Immediately after, the atmosphere froze up. An awkward silence was born between the two of us. Following that, Konoe blushed furiously, and averted her gaze. I did the same as her…but, why. I’m the one who forced myself onto her. I should apologize. No, I have to apologize. And yet…
“…!”
I can’t. Because of the scenery yesterday, I couldn’t even force out a voice. Not to mention that my heart keeps on racing. This didn’t even happen when I was kissed by Suzutsuki. Just what is happening to me?
“Stupid chicken, why are you just staying quiet like that?” Masamune seemingly thought of my reaction as weird, as she gave me a dubious gaze.
“I-It’s nothing. More importantly, let’s go inside.”
I needed to change the topic as quickly as possible. I can’t do it right now. Neither Konoe nor I are in any shape that would allow any proper conversation. I’ll have to wait a bit longer.
“Oh yeah, you’re wearing quite the adorable pajamas, Subaru-sama.”
“Wha…!?”
“…Cats?”
“~~~!?”
Having her own appearance pointed out by the bunny-eared maid Masamune, Konoe blushed even more furiously, as she pulled down the hem of her pajamas. Indeed, Konoe’s pajama had adorable cat designs imprinted on it. It’s the exact kind of design Kureha would like a lot. Despite her tone of voice, Konoe really is feminine.
“You’re wrong! Normally I’m not wearing this! I just happened to put it on today!”
“Lie. You really love that pajama, I know that. You even have another two, just in a different color.”
“Shut up! You be quiet, Ichigo!”
“You don’t have to feel so embarrassed about this, your pajamas aren’t anything embarrassing.”
“They are to me, okay!”
“At least you’re wearing something. I don’t wear anything when I sleep.”
“N-N-N-Nobody asked for that information!” Subaru-sama blushed even more furiously during her exchange with Ichigo-san.
Um, not wearing anything…so you sleep naked? Waah, I can’t see that happening at all. Despite having no expression, she sure is bold.
“!?”
This nasty rabbit is no joke, she saw right through me with a single glance, as she was staring at me from the side.
“Pervert. Are you that crazy about a girl’s naked body?”
“Y-You’re wrong! I most definitely wasn’t imagining this maid sleeping butt-naked!”
“Sometimes I really envy that honesty of yours…”
“I don’t want to hear that from you, you lewd rabbit!”
“Huuuh!? W-Who’s a lewd rabbit!? Ah, I see, you want to tease me after I say ‘Did you know? The only other living beings who are always in heat except humans are rabbits’, right?!”
“Who said that!?”
What a lively example, alright. She probably was teased about this a lot when she was younger. Then again, I can see that happening with how profound her imagination is.
“Wah, crazy.”
Upon entering Konoe’s room, the first one to react was Masamune, who let out a shocked voice. She might be surprised at the sheer amount of plush toys. Or, she might me simply confused at the fact that it’s all Silent Sheep.
“Ichigo, what is going on? Also, why was there any need to come inside?”
“YES. I haven’t told you yet, but we are currently searching through this residence.”
“Searching?”
“The thing is, a rabbit snuck its way into the residence.” Right after Ichigo-san explained our current predicament, Konoe let out a baffled ‘Eh!?’ and looked at her in shock.
……What’s this extreme reaction about? Does she actually know where…
“Subaru, don’t tell me…”
“W-What’s that look for! I don’t know! I don’t know where that rabbit is!”
“Then, can we look around inside your room?”
“Be honest, and confess. Hiding a suspect makes you a partner in crime.”
“No! That cutie isn’t a suspect…”
“Cutie?”
Konoe groaned like a child that had its toy taken from them. That’s exactly when it happened.
“Ah! You can’t come out!” An alto voice screamed.
Tracing Konoe’s gaze, I spotted an ashen colored living being on the bed. It had long ears with clear eyes, as well as long and fluffy fur. Yeah, it was a rabbit no matter how you looked at it.
“I won’t give it to you! You won’t get Pyonkichi!” The butler embraced the rabbit like it was her own child.
This is bad, she’s fully fallen victim to its charm. We have our first victim. If I had to guess, she probably encountered the rabbit on her way to or from the toilet. Also, Pyonkichi? Her naming sense is as messed up as always.
“Subaru, don’t be selfish. Hand it over.”
“No! I’m going to take care of it!”
“That rabbit might have run away from a nearby pet shop, you know?”
“Urk…No, I’m sure that Pyonkichi was excluded from his group of friends, and sought out freedom which is why he escaped to the city at night…”
“Don’t turn him into the protagonist of some tragedy.”
“S-So what, Ichigo!? What do you plan on doing after you catch Pyonkichi!?”
“Did you know? In Australia, they turn rabbits into a satisfying meal…”
“Leave! Get out of here right now!”
“Just kidding. We’ll find a place for it to go after that. This is the order Kanade-ojousama gave us.”
“Urk…” Konoe grit her teeth, and reluctantly moved to hand over the rabbit.
Well, I can’t blame her for this, even if she seems a bit childish. It feels like that rabbit probably ran away from somewhere, it feels oddly calm around people.
However…
“Ah, wait!”
There, the rabbit broke free out of Konoe’s arms, and dashed down the hallway.
“Ahh, Pyonkichi!” Konoe was about to run after him immediately.
“Subaru, I don’t think it’s good to run down the hallways while looking like this. We’ll run after it, so you change first.”
“Urk…”
“Rest assured, we’ll capture him. Newcomer, Odd Jobs-san, let’s go.”
“Y-Yes…!”
“Ah, wait a second, stupid chicken!”
I chased after Ichigo-san, with Masamune close after me. Looking around…there it is. Down the hallway, I could see the ashen color!
“Ichigo-san, wouldn’t it have been fine if Konoe tagged along?” I asked, while chasing the rabbit.
Since this is Konoe’s home, she doesn’t have to be that strict.
“NO. Knowing him, he might change his mind again. That’s why only we will take care of the rabbit.”
“……”
Did she give Konoe some false nonsense so that we have time to hunt for the rabbit? Just as Ichigo-san said, it wouldn’t be weird for her to jump sides again.
“Hurry up, there’s a dead end ahead.”
“U-Understood!”
As expected, we managed to corner the rabbit. It must have been wary of us, as its fur was standing on edge. Even if it’s a rabbit, the fact that it emits this much hostility sure is scary. Just because it may look cute doesn’t mean it’s harmless. My dear little sister is a good example of that. It wouldn’t be weird for this rabbit to pull a cobra twist on me.
“Calm down, Odd Jobs-san.” A robotic voice spoke up.
“It’ll be one shot with this.”
“Eh?” As I froze up, full of doubts, Ichigo-san took out a chainsaw from her skirt, and…Hey!?
“Time for conclusion. The enemy will be sliced.”
“Waaaaah stop that, will you!” I slapped down Ichigo-san’s hand that was holding the chainsaw.
“What are you doing, Odd Jobs-san. This is our chance.”
“Don’t joke with me! You’re being way too aggressive!”
“Rest assured, this is a dull chainsaw, so…”
“That rabbit won’t get out of this unscathed if you slam that chainsaw into it! I thought you’re just going to capture it?!”
“Injuries can’t be helped if we want to capture it.”
“Why are you being so forceful!?”
That’s not like Ichigo-san, who is always rational about things. Or, is this what I think it is…?
“Ichigo-san, are you…bad with rabbits?”
“…!?”
Masamune seemed to think the same as me, as she asked that question. Immediately after, Ichigo-san swallowed her breath, and she started stuttering.
“T-T-T-That’s not true at all!” She desperately denied our assumptions.
No matter how you look at it, Masamune hit the bullseye.
“Did you get bitten by a rabbit when you were a child?”
“Wha…how did you find out my top secret?” Ichigo-san froze up because of my question.
Bingo. That probably ended up as some kind of trauma. Eh? You’re surprised I found out this easily? I mean, the way she acts towards the rabbit is pretty much the same way I act towards Kureha. It’s like I could smell her trauma from a mile away, and sympathized with her.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“‘Step 1: Rabbits are carnivorous animals’.”
“You’re changing the contents!?”
“‘Step 2: Warm up a drenched rabbit into a microwave’.”
“All animal lovers in this world will curse you if you do that!”
“Step 3: Rabbits turn into suicide bombers if you get too lonely, pyon…’.”
“What a horrible way to die!”
It’s nonsensical. Ichigo-san is clearly not her usual self right now. If not, she wouldn’t run her mouth like this.
“N-No worries, I will fight.”
“Then, fight it yourself, I’ll be watching from here.”
“R-Roger…”
Maid versus rabbit, the battle of the century, held at the Suzutsuki Residence. The first one to move was the maid after all. She opened her arms wide, and slowly approached the rabbit.
“It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine I’m not scared at all no need to worry no problem at all look at how cute this thing is I’m super okay and aaaaah it moved! It moooooved! I can’t! I caaaaan’t!”
Aaaaand she lost it, huh. Like that, Ichigo-san just sank to the floor, looking up at me with teary eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“………”
“I’m actually terrified.”
“……”
“Odd Jobs-san, I’ll leave the rest to you.” She said, and collapsed to the ground. What a blunder, to think the rabbit would take the first round this easily.
Can’t help it, Masamune and I need to take this battle home. That’s right, we are humanoids. It is said that our motoric abilities have been reduced drastically in the modern age, but when it’s the two of us, we should have no problem catching a small wild animal—
“…!?”
Right when the second match of rabbit vs maid and odd jobs guy (in costume) was about to begin, an impact—shook my body. My ally, Masamune, had leaped at my body.
“Y-You, what are you doing!?”
I protested immediately, but because I lost my balance, I fell to the ground. In the meantime, Masamune moved in front of me, opening both her arms as if to protect the being behind her.
“…I won’t hand him over.” She glared at me like a mother bear protecting its child. “I’ll be taking him in!”
“Wha!?”
Ahh, I remember. She really likes rabbits. When I was working part-time at the maid cafe before, I saw that her wallpaper on her phone was a rabbit. Damn it, I was wondering why she wasn’t saying anything. She was only waiting for me to show an opening.
“Calm down, Masamune! Do you plan on ignoring Suzutsuki’s orders!? At this rate, you’ll have your salary lowered!”
“I don’t care! I don’t need money if I can keep him!”
“Whaaaaaaat!?”
I-Impossible. What a dramatic development! To think that nasty rabbit prioritized friendship with an animal over monetary value! My level of affection for Masamune has suddenly risen drastically, it’s exploding!
“Why did you have to kick me for that though!?”
“Hmpf, I held back, so be thankful.”
“Traitor!”
“Shut up, stupid chicken! Look at how terrified this guy is, don’t you feel bad for him? He looks like he’s about to cry.”
“I’m the one who wants to cry!”
I feel like Jesus who just got betrayed by Judas. To think I was betrayed not even for 30 coins of silver, but for a single rabbit. How can I create miracles like this?
“Now, Pyonkichi, let’s run away together!”
“……”
A bit of silence followed. As if it had decided, the rabbit started moving. Seeing this, Masamune showed a confident grin—However.
“Eh!? W-Wait, where are you doing!?”
For some reason, the rabbit headed my way. And then, it approached my cheek, gently licking it. It almost seemed like it was trying to console me.
“Why!? Why did you go to the stupid chicken!? I’m wearing bunny ears!” Masamune flapped her bunny ears up and down.
That however seemed to have the opposite effect, as the rabbit moved even further back into my direction. What irked me the most was the fact that the rabbit didn’t even look at Masamune directly, but rather a bit further up…Oh yeah, this reminds me of the TV show I watched before.
“Hey, Masamune, this might be a bit random, but…certain animals can see things that normal humans can’t, right?”
“Huh? Where did that come from?”
“Just listen to me. For example, there are times when a cat suddenly stares at a corner of the room, right. Basically, we can assume that they might be staring at a ghost, or something else that is invisible to the human eye.”
“…What about it?”
“Maybe this rabbit sees something behind you?”
“Wha…”
Together with bewilderment, the girl staggered backwards. Since she’s living in a real haunted flat, she probably has a faint idea.
“T-That’s just a superstition!”
“Probably. But, you’re scared, right?”
“~~~!” The bunny-eared maid grabbed the hem of her apron dress, gritting her teeth.
It’s not that I just blindly believe this kind of talk. The show I was watching back then seemed pretty fishy to me anyway. However, the rabbit is currently fearing Masamune. Well, if I had to guess, the rabbit is probably just terrified of Masamune’s demonic face. Because…the smile when she approached it was hella scary.
“Alright then, I’ll go to Mount Osore, and get this thing exorcised.”
“That’s a bit fast, alright. Also, travelling to Aomori will cost you a lot, you know?”
“I really feel like this guy will be given to a pet shop before you come back from Aomori.”
This is just my guess, but this guy probably isn’t just any ordinary rabbit. It has this noble feeling to it, like it had a long-lasting heritage. My bet is that it ran away from some shop.
“Stupid chicken.”
As I was lost in my thoughts, Masamune approached me on staggering feet…This is bad. Her expression looks mighty bad.
“M-Masamune?”
“Hey…hand over Pyonkichi, okay?”
“…!?”
There, Masamune moved on top of me. Waaah, what is she doing now!? Even though the fabric of the costume was thin, I could feel her soft body. If she’s sticking this close to me, my gynophobia will activate again.
“Or, let’s run away together?”
“R-Run away…”
“We’ll leave this place, together with Pyonkichi.”
“D-Do you really think that will work?”
“It’s fine, I’ll do something about it. Also…”
“…Also?” When I returned a question, Masamune’s cheeks turned beet red.
“…I’ll give you a kiss.”
“……”
Stop right there, Masamune-san. Aren’t you skipping a few steps here?
“D-Don’t get the wrong idea! Only on the cheek, okay! It’ll be like a reward!”
“A-A reward…!?”
“I did!?”
“I could even see a ‘Garter belts are the best’ face in there.”
“Your eyes have gotten crazy, that’s all!”
Looking at people with such a biased view…Does she think garter belts are in my mind 24/7? I do dream about them from time to time, but that’s about it.
“There’s also that incident with Nakuru…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“T-That’s…This is all for the sake of you not setting foot into the world of BL, okay! I’m not lying, you hear me!? Nakuru is relentlessly approaching you, right? As a result of that, you might awaken to BL! As your friend, I don’t want that!” Masamune declared with an awfully desperate tone.
Yeah, not happening. Though I bet Nakuru is probably planning on brainwashing me into liking BL.
“That’s why…Stupid chicken.” She called out my name with a feeble voice, and brought her face closer to mine.
Eeek, so close! I’ll get a nosebleed if you keep going like that!
“…Mm.”
Right in front of my eyes was the bunny-eared maid Usami Masamune. Although she tried to act tough, her lips were quivering ever so slightly. Slowly but steadily, she brought her face closer, with my world growing smaller. Right as her soft lips were about to touch my cheek—
“Jirou?”
There, an alto voice made Masamune stop in her tracks. Looking over, there stood Konoe Subaru who had changed into her butler uniform. She must have been chasing after us.
“Subaru-sama!?” Immediately after, Masamune leaped away from me.
…That was dangerous. I guess even that nasty rabbit is too embarrassed to kiss someone in front of other people.
“Subaru-sama! Help me! Let’s both protect Pyonkichi!”
Urk…Damn it, she immediately jumped sides as soon as Konoe got here. Now it’s two versus one, and I can’t negotiate anymore.
“…Sorry, Usami, that won’t work.”
“Just now, the young lady called a nearby pet shop, asking if a rabbit ran away recently. As expected, they were looking for one rabbit, so an employee is coming over to pick it up.”
“T-That’s…!”
“That’s why, if you want to keep Pyonkichi…you have to buy him. If you pay the price, the pet shop will agree.”
“I’ll buy him! No price is too much! How much is he!?”
“……” Konoe showed a troubled expression, and continued, albeit hesitating.
“50.000 yen.”
“…Excuse me?”
“Did you not hear me? It’s 50.000 yen, Pyonkichi’s price. He’s a Holland Lop, with a pure bloodline as well.”
“F-Fifty…”
“Can you pay that? Cash?”
“……”
50.000 yen is too much for a high school student, especially for one who is already poor. Forced to accept this reality, Masamune started crying, bawling her eyes out like a child.
×
“Bye bye, Pyonkichi…”
Sending off the pet shop employee who came to pick up Pyonkichi, the bunny-eared maid waved her hand. This concluded the search tour through the Suzutsuki Residence. The invader was caught safely, and returned to the place it belonged. It undoubtedly was a happy end—except for a single maid.
“Uuuu…” Masamune’s eyes were teary at this farewell.
…Damn, she really is helpless.
“Don’t be so depressed, he just went back to the place it belonged.”
“…Yeah. But, he might be lonely all on his own…”
“…Family…” Masamune muttered. “Y-Yeah, you’re right. With a new family, Pyonkichi won’t be lonely.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I nodded, to which Masamune’s expression cheered up a bit.
Thank god, she’s feeling better now. Leaving that aside however…
“How long are you planning on wearing those bunny ears?”
“…!?” Masamune covered her head with both her arms. “I-I just forgot to take them off!”
“They look good on you though.”
“T-They sure as hell don’t! I’m not happy even if you tell me that!” Masamune said, and blushed furiously.
“Usami, now that Pyonkichi is gone, I’ll be teaching you your job. The young lady gave me the order for this.”
“Ah, yes, Subaru-sama!”
“Good. Follow me.” Konoe walked down the hallway.
Masamune followed after him, and turned towards me for a split second.
“T-Thanks, stupid chicken.”
“Jesus…”
She really can never be honest with herself. If she’s happy about me cheering her up, she should just say so. Well, it’s the same as always.
“…Hm?”
There, I caught on to something. Ever since we caught and returned the rabbit, Ichigo-san has been practically staring at Masamune. I wonder why, maybe there’s something she wants to say?
“Odd Jobs-san, we’ll return to our normal duties.”
Seems like she caught on to my gaze, as she walked down the floor. What was that about? Don’t think it has any special reason, but…
“Well, whatever.” I stretched my back, and returned to my usual duties.
“…Hm?”
There, right as I was deciding on my plans after this, my phone started ringing with the sound of the nursery rhyme ‘Rabbit’…Wait, that’s Masamune sending me a message? She should have returned to her own room by now. Maybe there’s something she forgot to tell me? I took out my smartphone, and checked the message I had received.
‘I forgot to tell you, but be careful around that maid…around Ichigo-san.’
“………”
Um, what kind of ominous message is that? Some chain mail? I feel like that’s a bit too extreme.
“Also, it’s a bit too late for that.”
I know that Ichigo-san is hella dangerous. She’s a yandere, clearly violates weapon laws, and really hates my guts.
“Well, she still is my senior, so I don’t think there’s any reason to worry.” I muttered, using my common sense to arrive at this conclusion.
Right as I started walking down the hallway again—
“Odd Jobs-san.”
Talk about the devil. Standing down the hallway was Ichigo-san, who should have walked away by now. The time was moving towards evening, with a setting sun shining through the windows, illuminating her appearance blood red. In her hand, she held a small dust cloth.
“Emergency. Another problem arose.”
“Urk…”
Another rabbit? Please no, I don’t want to see another furry monster. I’d rather not enjoy a second hunting time.
“However, it’s a bit different this time.”
“Different?”
“The job this time—is extermination. Not capturing, but exterminating. We can’t let the target live.”
“So what we did just now won’t work? Is it troublesome?” I asked the girl, who slowly walked towards me.
In doing so, the girl’s lips faintly rose to form a smile.
“Eh?”
I was about to ask just what exactly she was talking about, but my words were cut off. Ichigo-san used the small dust cloth—and pushed it onto my mouth.
“…!?”
Immediately after, I felt dizzy. Because of this sudden event, my consciousness started to grow hazy. All strength left my body.
“Good night, Odd Jobs-san.”
Amidst my fading consciousness, I heard a faint robotic voice, with an odd emotion residing in it—until even that vanished.
1 Eel
2 A song by Shinji Tanimura.
3 Gokiburi, which means cockroach
4 Yomiuri Giants, a Japanese baseball team
5 I can, and it’s shown in the manga/anime Terraformers
6 In Japanese mythology, Susano’o, the Japanese god of the seas, was the one who drove Amaterasu into the Celestial Cave. This caused the sun to hide for a long period of time. In order to get Amaterasu out of the cave the other gods threw a party outside.
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