Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Confession (The Past).

Kaito found Daichi sitting at a window booth staring outside absent-mindedly. The guy had barely taken a sip of the the coffee he’d ordered which by now had already grown cold.

“Daichi,” the older man’s head snapped up when he heard his name being called, only to find an approaching Kaito.

“You certainly took your sweet time getting here,” Daichi commented once Kaito stood before him.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” the chef pointed out.

“I didn’t?” Daichi was puzzled with himself. He really hadn’t said a word about his coming. Rubbing his forehead, Daichi closed his eyes, “Sorry, it seems I really forgot.

Kaito watched him in a daze. Was it just him, or did Daichi seem a little disoriented today?

His usually neatly-gelled hair hung loose, having only been brushed sideways to at least look presentable. Usually he’d be draped in a complete tux set but it seemed today he hadn’t had the energy for that and instead had worn a simple white dress shirt and pants before haphazardly throwing on a long grey coat and loafers.

And what was with those huge dark bags under his eyes??

“When’s your shift ending?” the older man suddenly asked, bringing Kaito back to his senses.

“There’s still more than an hour until the shop closes.”

“I see,” Daichi nodded and said no more. It seemed he planned on waiting until then.

Kaito scanned his surroundings. There weren’t many people at this hour, and even if a few more people came wouldn’t the rest of his crew be able to handle them.

“Just give me a few more minutes, I’ll go change,” he told Daichi, and before the other could protest, Kaito had already left.

**

“Thank you,” Kaito acknowledged when Daichi handed over a bottle of cold water he’d bought from the small stall nearby.

They currently sat on one of the benches in a familiar park near Kaito’s place. For whatever reason, Daichi had picked this place to have their conversation. It was probably because at this hour there wouldn’t be many people around, so they wouldn’t be disturbed.

The ride here had been filled with nothing but silence, and up until now Kaito still couldn’t think of a good conversation starter. He just fidgeted with the water bottle Daichi had given him while thinking of what to say.

“So you ended up hungover after all,” Daichi mocked with a snort. “I knew all that booze wouldn’t do you any good.”

“It’s not that bad, is it?” Kaito was asking about his appearance. Even Kasumi had complained about it.

“You look like shit.”

“Ah...” You’re the one to talk, Kaito thought begrudgingly. “You’re not looking so fresh yourself, Daichi.”

“Gee, I wonder whose fault that is,” he glared at Kaito with evident accusation.

M-Me? What did I do?

Seeing the younger man’s baffled expression, Daichi scoffed. “I hope that’s not a look that’s saying ‘I can’t remember a thing’, since I’d be really pissed if it is.”

“That...” Kaito’s face became a ripe tomato, “Of course I didn’t forget. I’m not that unconcerned!”

“Good, because something’s been bugging me since last night,” Daichi’s expression turned serious. “Are you gay?”

The moment of truth had finally arrived. Kaito could already feel the cold sweat soaking through his back.

If he’s asking this kind of thing so calmly then what kind of answer is he expecting? He said it’d been bugging him since then, is that why he looks like he didn’t have a proper rest?

I could always use the alcohol as an excuse and say I wasn’t in my right mind. He also responded to the kiss, which meant he must have been drunk too.

If he just said it like this, things would just return to he way they were. If they both just admitted that it was a drunken mistake, then...

[I need you sober.]

...Right. 

He’d almost forgotten about Daichi's words from yesterday.

After what felt like an eternity, Kaito finally responded to the older man's initial question with an: 

“I am.”

Seeing Daichi’s brows slightly rise in surprise, Kaito’s nerves increased tenfold as his grip around that water bottle tightened. But he didn’t want to stop now. He wanted to let it all out so he dropped his gaze and continued.

“Not only that, I like you. Not a type of admiration as a senior or friend. I might not recall all the nonsense I said yesterday, but my actions weren’t something caused by the alcohol. I mean, being drunk did give me a confidence boost, since I’ve wanted to do that for a long time and...”

Kaito trailed, having realized that he’d started to ramble. Taking a deep breath, he finally concluded his prattle.

“What I mean is, I have feelings for you, Daichi.”

There, he’d said it! 

He’d mastered up enough courage to confess to this man, though this had completely been against his original plans. Confessing so soon – no, confessing at all! Just how exactly was Daichi going to take it?

Feeling anxious, Kaito raised his face to see the other person’s reaction.... only to be shocked into almost fleeing for dear life! Daichi’s hooded expression made Kaito sense danger, so much that he nearly shifted to the end of the bench in fright.

Oh no, it’s over....

However, Daichi merely stood from the bench and walked a few feet before stopping again. He then took out a box of cigarettes, lit one, and took a long drag out of it.

Seeing him like this, Kaito felt that the situation didn’t bode well in his favor.

In all the time he’d known Daichi, the guy only ever smoked if he had something heavy weighing on his mind. This seasonal smoker on the verge of quitting only resorted to using these as a way of distracting himself while thinking of a solution.

No wonder he wasn’t in the mood for sweets today.

Thus Kaito patiently waited for the man to finish. Thank god Daichi finally stopped only after the second one.

“When you told me all this, what kind of reaction were you expecting from me?” Daichi finally asked, though he made no movement to rejoin the other person on the bench.

“I... don’t know,” Kaito spoke truthfully with his head down. “I hadn’t planned on letting you find out like this.”

“Then how did you plan on telling me in the future?”

“........”

“And how long were you going to wait?” Daichi raised a brow. “Wouldn’t it have been too late if I suddenly took in a lover? After all, you did know that I’m straight, right?”

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Kaito felt his heart sting. He pursed his lips and closed eyes before muttering, “I know.”

Shoving his hands into his coat pockets, Daichi kicked at some loose pebbles on the ground before inaudibly adding: “Or at least I was, until recently.”

Kaito’s head snapped up when he heard those words. His eyes briefly locked with the other person before Daichi shifted his gaze first.

“Tsk, what’s with that? You’re going to stare a hole right through me.”

But Kaito really couldn’t joke right now. Not after what Daichi had just said. “Until... recently?”

“I willingly made out with a drunk man in my own car last night,” Daichi continued to avoid his gaze. “Not only that, I proceeded to think about that kiss and had strange dreams about that man which almost drove me into madness. I might not know much about feelings but I’m certain a straight man isn’t supposed to feel this way towards another man.”

“Daichi, you... what are you saying?” Kaito’s voice came out a little uneven as hope lit his entire face.

“Good grief,” the older man turned to face another direction completely with a very rare tiny blush painting the tips of his ears. “Do I also need to spell it out for you? I’m saying that I wouldn’t mind... having that kind of relationship... with you, I guess.”

After that kiss yesterday, Daichi had been left in a state of disbelief and confusion. It’d been his first time getting stimulated by another man’s touch and kiss, which was why he’d done his late night research.

He used to be straight; that was certain since he’d never found men sexually attractive before. But now that he’d developed these strange attractions towards Kaito, could he be called bisexual then? There was another term he’d discovered online; was it bi-curious? Something along those lines...

“... Really?” Kaito’s uncertain response came after a while. But why did it sound as if his voice was a lot closer than before?

“F*ck, I’m not going to say it again you–” Daichi's words hung when a pair of strong long arms suddenly encircled him from behind, pulling him into a warm embrace with his back against Kaito’s broad chest.

As someone who was always cooped up in the studio baking all kinds of desserts, Kaito’s scent was a mixture flour and essence with a hint of his original woody fragrance. And now that Daichi was taking it in for the first time, he found it quite soothing.

“You’d better not take back those words, senior,” Kaito muttered, burying his face in the crook of the older man’s shoulder.

Daichi’s heart was racing. He really hadn’t expected for the other person to make a move like that out of the blue. Yet he still didn’t want to push him away. “You’d better not be f*cking crying, otherwise I really will kick your ass.”

Kaito laughter was muffled due to his current position, “You really shouldn’t say that kind of thing at a time like this.”

“Then don’t attack people when they’re not looking.”

“Alright,” Kaito loosened his hold, turned the other man in his arms so that they were facing each other, and embraced him once more. “Senior was right, this position is much better.”

“What did I say about that word?” he warned but Kaito simply laughed it off. He also noticed a couple out in the distance who were curiously throwing glances their direction and resisted the urge to just shoo them away.

It wasn’t that Daichi minded being hugged but still.... out in public like this? Was this just a normal thing for Kaito?

“Alright, alright, I’m not going anywhere. Isn’t the hugging enough?” Daichi made several failed attempts to push Kaito away since the dude just wasn’t budging. I can’t believe this is my life now...

“I really want to kiss you,” Kaito’s voice was almost inaudible, and the request made Daichi’s hair stand on end.

“What the– all of a sudden???”

“It’s been on my mind the entire way here,” the younger man leaned back to meet Daichi’s gaze with a darkening blush that stretched across his cheeks. His eyes were full of meaning as he told him, “I was sad that if we parted on bad terms today, I’d never get to be this close to you again.”

“That’s the cringiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“But it’s true,” raising a hand to trace the man’s temple and tucking a few strands of dark hair behind his ear, Kaito whispered almost pleadingly. “So can I?”

If Daichi were to compare the sissy male he’d come with earlier to this demanding individual looking at him so lustfully, he’d never believe they were the same person.

So this is the kind of person he really is? Interesting.

With a smirk, he reminded, “Yesterday you just dove right into it and kissed me out of nowhere. Have your manners returned?”

The reason why Kaito had asked this time was because of Kasumi’s rants from earlier which kept replaying in his head. He didn’t want to be called a bastard just because he receive Daichi’s consent before kissing him.

“You could say,” he muttered as he leaned in. But Daichi’s palm still intercepted him midway. This was the second time the man had stopped him like this.

“I just smoked. I’ll taste like an ashtray,” Daichi warned.

But Kaito wasn’t going to let such a minor inconvenience stop him. Removing that interfering hand with a “that’s fine”, his eyes slowly fluttered shut as he leaned in to fully capture the man’s lips with his.

Kaito’s lips were gentle yet immersive, soft yet passionate all the same. Nothing could have possibly meant more than this moment, and all he could think about was Daichi’s response as he snaked an arm around his neck, drawing him in. Bodies pressed together and the two could hear each other’s heartbeats pounding a bit too loudly, and for a while they sank into their own little world.

The park still hadn’t emptied out so of course there were a few people who witnessed the scene. But neither of the men seemed to care. This was really happening.

Kaito wished the moment would last forever but his damned lungs - those traitors - just had to complain for air, forcing their lips apart. He was glad to see that he wasn’t the only one breathless, and seeing how Daichi’s breathing had become a little ragged made his heart race in pure glee.

“What?” Daichi’s tone was anything but kind.

Kaito traced his thumb across the other person’s lips and smiled, “You tasted sweet. Nothing like an ashtray.”

“I really will punch you.”

“What is it with your obsession to punch the lights out of me?” Kaito laughed.

“You just look like the kind of person who has a really punchable face,” the man smirked.

“Still,” Kaito brought one of Daichi’s hands and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, “If it’s you, I don’t think I’d mind having you punch me.”

This cannot seriously be my life now. “I hope you’re not expecting these kinds of cheesy pick-up lines from me. Because if so, I really can’t do it,” Daichi made his stance known, earning another chuckle from the other person.

“No, just be you.”

“And I also don’t read minds,” Daichi recalled Kaito’s unreasonable pouty mood yesterday and brought it to light. “If I do something wrong, don’t expect me to guess. Tell me directly so that I fix it.”

“Haha, yes sir...”

“And I might also be slow on the uptake,” he added again. “This kind of thing is new to me, so tell me beforehand if there are some rules and regulations I should follow. ”

Wow, even the businessman side of him is starting to show, Kaito thought and felt a little helpless. He’s taking this very seriously.

Just knowing that Daichi was willing to give them had already been more than enough but seeing him try so hard only made Kaito fall for him harder.

Interlacing their fingers, Kaito rested his forehead against Daichi’s and smiled contentedly.

“Alright, Daichi. I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

~~~~~~

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