Chapter 93: Three Choices There was little spiritual power in mortal villages and there was no way for Bai Zihao to cultivate. After Bai Zihao finished the peacock painting, he rediscovered the joy of painting. He would spend every day hunched over his desk, drawing while listening to the sound of reading next door. Kong Muhua often ran over to watch him draw, eat his snacks, and coax him into doing all kinds of things. He would send chickens flying and dogs jumping but Bai Zihao’s days became more interesting. Little girls will grow up, and it won’t be good for them to keep running over to men’s houses. In order to avoid suspicion, Bai Zihao had to keep the gate to the yard open whenever Kong Muhua came over. He also moved his painting table under the shade of the trees in the yard. When the villagers passing by saw him drawing, they would give him a few words of praise. Often girls and young wives would bring food and ask for pictures for embroidery. He had no way to refuse. Kong Muhua liked to sit on the swing, basking under the sun while dragging him to chat about everything; things like how Grandma Wang’s family’s rooster no longer crows because he’s been jilted, like how the two sparrows by the river were having a wager, about whether it was a scarecrow or a farmer standing in the field… Bai Zihao didn’t understand the fun of these things, but when he saw Kong Muhua laughing almost to the point of rolling, he couldn’t help but laugh too. He thought Kong Muhua was a weird and cute girl who was particular about being pretty. He always brought along a mirror wherever he went, and would take a look at himself in it whenever he had nothing to do. He didn’t care about decking himself out except for making skirts for himself. His needlework wasn’t bad, but everything else was hard to describe. He tried to help Bai Zihao with his work and ended up burning the kitchen. He smashed a laundry club and collapsed the grape rack. While fetching water, he leaned over the mouth of the well for almost an hour. Bai Zihao almost thought he was going to throw himself into the well and rushed in, pulling him back. He moved Kong Muhua with affection, and made him understand with reason, persuading him for a long time. Kong Muhua was abashed, “I just thought I looked so beautiful in the well water so I wanted to look more.”
Bai Zihao: “…” Kong Muhua: “Zihao Gege is also very beautiful. You should look in the mirror more.” Bai Zihao: “…” He shouldn’t have worried about this bear kid. Bai Zihao tried to let Kong Muhua learn some culture, to cultivate his tastes and be a beauty who was beautiful both inside and out. As a result, he immediately broke three strings while playing the zither, and broke two pens while painting. His writing was like chicken scratch and he read three lines before falling asleep. Let alone poems and songs, he can’t even manage through the simplest sayings, often spouting mistakes to which Bai Zihao didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. When it came to eating though, he could eat. He could eat an entire pot every meal. He peeled melon seeds at lightning speed, and could peel two catties at a time. He also loved to eat locusts and would often catch a lot of them. He would then make Bai Zihao cook them, frying half and roasting half. He ate them with relish…He had egged Bai Zihao into trying one and although the taste seemed to be okay…he mentally couldn’t bear it, and simply let it be. Bai Zihao was a little worried about the future of this bear child… “It doesn’t matter. I’m beautiful anyway. No one can look down on me. If there is, then he’s blind and we don’t bother with blind people.” Kong Muhua had a fanatical self-confidence. And in turn, he encouraged Bai Zihao, repeating strange golden nuggets of wisdom. “Doesn’t attracting bees and butterflies prove that I am fragrant? If no bees and butterflies were particularly attentive, where would I have the face to say that I’m a beauty?” “What shortcomings? I just have some adorable little hobbies.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts. “Huh? If someone with good conditions takes a fancy to me, it’s because he was infatuated by my charms. Why should I be made to feel inferior?” “P jw fzmfiifca, jcv sbe tjnf vgjkc ws ojrmlcjalbc. P atlcx sbe’gf yfjealoei jcv fcmtjcalcu. Tbe rtbeiv yf wbgf mbcolvfca lc sbeg bkc mtjgwr.” “Ktja obbi vjgfv ab rjs atja j yfjeas ilxf sbe kjr cb ubbv? Blmx tlw bea jcv mtjcuf ab j rfcrlyif bcf!” “Iltjb Xfuf, P jw nfgs rfcrlyif.” “……” Over the years, Bai Zihao had been tossed about by him using various tricks. Not only had he recovered his childhood skills of climbing trees, picking fruits, and fishing, he was also a self-taught insect cook, butterfly catcher, vicious dog fighter, and hoodlum beater… The number of villagers he was familiar with also gradually increased. From time to time he would follow them to watch theatrical performances, or help them in the fields to harvest their crops. Later, the teacher in the village grew old and withdrew from his teaching job. At everyone’s behest, Bai Zihao became the new school teacher. The children liked his gentleness and attentiveness. They admired his profound knowledge and would surround him every day. They gave him lots of eggs, home-grown vegetables, and wild flowers that grew in the mountains…He would often have girls blushing at him. However, Kong Muhua loved contending for Bai Zihao’s affections. He was an expert at both Palace and House dramas. Whether it was a bold and vigorous pursuit, or a veiled one; whether it was acting aggrieved and pitiful or gentle and amiable, whether it was acting spoiled and showing off his cleverness or sowing discord and dissent…he knew them all. He would subdue them all even before they could make a move. Kong Muhua shook his flower skirt and brimming with confidence, “There will always be people vying for good things. If a man doesn’t even have the courage to face a rival in love, and instead becomes hypercritical, and shuns the one he likes for receiving attention, then it would be better to dig a hole and just bury him. It’s useless to let a waste like that live. Zihao Gege, don’t you think I’m right?” The paintbrush in Bai Zihao’s hand paused. Over the years, he has grown accustomed to Kong Muhua’s crazy talk and no longer took it seriously. However, after listening to a lot of it and thinking about it carefully, some things, though they sounded rough, their reasoning was sound. He gradually accepted some of his points of view. He smiled and asked, “And if you’re unsuccessful in your pursuit?”
Kong Muhua said decisively, “If you fail, you should leave dejected, with your tail between your legs. Are you going to stay there and make an exhibition of yourself?” In the bird kingdom, battles raged because of love were all like this. If you fail to win your love, it means you weren’t beautiful enough or that your skills weren’t as good as other’s. What did it have to do with the one you were pursuing? Even the high and mighty shenjun needed to abide by this rule. Males must strive beautifully for favor. If their beauty wasn’t enough, they could rely on their strength. They could slaughter their rivals, beat them to death and pull out their hair and reduce the difficulty of vying for favor. Any method could be used, but you couldn’t bully the person you like or speak maliciously to him. Doing so would only be embarrassing yourself… Why would you like a no good person? If you like someone, you should hold them in the cup of your hands. Why abuse and insult him? Kong Muhua found it difficult to understand certain human behaviors. Although the peacock is not a dedicated bird species, he was beautiful, self-possessed and also an ancient great yao. He disliked the ordinary peacocks’ behavior of just finding a spouse at random. He wanted only the best. It was a pity, he has been picky for many years and failed to have his wish fulfilled. On that day, everyone thought that shenjun would kill Bai Zihao. While watching the excitement, Kong Muhua saw that he had almost suffered an atrocity. His clothes were disheveled and he seemed a little pitiful. And so he gave him an outer robe he no longer wanted so as to let him walk his road towards the Yellow Springs with a bit more dignity. Bai Zihao clearly knew that he would die soon, and yet, he still, as a testament to his good upbringing, thanked him. Kong Muhua suddenly became interested in this person. Unexpectedly, shenjun didn’t kill him, and even arranged some sort of strange assignment. He then stepped forward to undertake the assignment. At first, he just thought it was amusing, but the closer he got, the more he was moved. He saw Bai Zihao’s beauty and his gentle-like-water temperament, just like a clear trickling stream in a forest. He didn’t care much at first, but with the passage of time, his good impression of him grew richer. In the end, he simply couldn’t look away, it had become a habit. He wanted to stay by his side forever, until the end of time. No wonder even that scum who’d experienced a hundred flowers, also felt his heart move for this flower…
Good things needed to be secured as soon as possible. When they return to the Inextinguishable Peak, there would be more competitors. Although he was confident in his beauty and strength, there were still a few ruthless characters that are not much worse than him. What if Bai Zihao liked the domineering type like those of the Dapeng tribe, or the reserved and aloof type like those of the Bifang tribe?
Kong Muhua was determined to seize this opportunity. He was going to take Bai Zihao away, and give that scum a green hat. He patiently adjusted his appearance according to his human age, and then at the age of eighteen, he changed himself back to his original appearance. Having the countenance of a flower and a face like the moon, he had a tender body and a delicate waist. His voice was like that of a trilling oriole or a twittering swallow and he smelled of orchids. He was also good at various dances. Placed in any imperial harem, he would be a bewitching concubine who would captivate the monarch. Fortunately, those of the peacock tribe were good at illusions. He used his illusions to hide it from the villagers’ eyes, turning himself into an ordinary-level beauty so as not to cause a big sensation. Bai Zihao was a beauty himself, and he was used to seeing all kinds of stunning beauties. His sense of aesthetics was a bit slow, and he unexpectedly didn’t realize that there was something wrong. Kong Muhua had a variety of methods to attract and tease. He changed up his methods every day to praise his beloved. Bai Zihao was teased into blushing terribly. Although he didn’t dare draw near, he was secretly delighted. When he was a child, he always believed himself to be attracted to women. He fantasized about finding a good wife. But before he could even be tempted by a woman, he was deceived into going to the immortal realm and was sold off. Later, he got together with Jin Feiren and confirmed that his body only felt desire when submitting to another’s control. He felt ashamed of himself, and he didn’t dare be tempted by any girl. He had never had any desire for women, nor had he ever thought about this aspect… Now, he had become aware of Kong Muhua’s affections, and his heart was moved. He also felt something in his body. Did this mean… he could still be an ordinary man? Only that the girl he liked was the tall, slender type with an extremely flat chest, long legs, a bright and cheerful personality, who sometimes talked like a boy? Bai Zihao took a cold shower to drive away these unrealistic fantasies from his mind. He was a man with a male Daoist companion. He shouldn’t harm others.
Bai Zihao endured the shame, found an opportunity, and confessed his past to Kong Muhua, “My Daoist companion is a man, and I am used to being under a man… Therefore, I can’t be near you. We’re not suitable…” Before he could finish speaking, Kong Muhua had already kissed him on his face. He said, very pleased with himself, “Your Daoist companion hasn’t come back for so long. Maybe he’s been out there toying with flowers and grass. He’s probably been beaten to death. Don’t remain a widow for him. Think about me. …Let’s try, and then we’ll know whether we’re suitable or not.” He was a dignified great peacock yao with a strong desire to outdo others. He had to win in every respect. Shenjun had long cut off that scum’s thing to feed to the dogs. He had taken a look and scoffed. The size of a human’s was really not worth mentioning… He was exceptionally talented. Although he was inexperienced, he could rely on male instincts for this kind of matters. He will surely quickly become skilled. He would serve Bai Zihao happily in bed. Then, he would defeat all his competitors and become the new spouse. The proud peacock was filled with enthusiastic self-confidence this day as well. Seeing how he was still pursuing with such enthusiasm despite knowing his past, Bai Zihao felt both moved and despair. In his heart, his ‘like’ was growing more and more. In order to restrain such feelings, he picked up calligraphy and he revived his music skills. He devoted himself to learning, and tried his best to concentrate on other things and ignore Kong Muhua. However, Kong Muhua didn’t know about this thing called refusal. He had numerous tricks. He would pretend to be well-behaved or he would act pitiful. If he didn’t have a ladder, he would build his own ladder. Kong Muhua could always find reasons why he couldn’t refuse and trick him into going out to play. Sometimes, they would go on an outing; sometimes, they would go on a picnic; sometimes, they would go to the city to look at the lights; sometimes, they would take a boat down the river; sometimes, they would go to the mirror lake to look for peacocks… Every day was happy, and filled with constant laughter. Bai Zihao knew that this was wrong for him to be this way, but he became addicted. He fell into the laughter, and was enchanted by his happy life. He unexpectedly forgot all his troubles. He even greedily hoped that his ten-year appointment could go on for longer, for time to pass by slower… But, the more you hope for time to pass by slowly, the faster it feels like passing.
Shenjun’s messenger finally arrived. That day, the Kong Family’s gates were closed. Kong Muhua wasn’t at home. Bai Zihao had to reluctantly put his farewell letter together with the golden peacock tail feather on the painting table. In the letter, he wrote in detail about his shameful past, his ridiculous affections, his embarrassing marriage, as well as the future facing him. He had written out all his secrets he found difficult to speak of. And then, he asked him to forget about him and to find better happiness… As for his secret and indecent feelings, he hesitated for a long time, and in the end, he didn’t write it down… Bai Zihao followed the messenger and stepped onto the ship, returning to the Inextinguishable Peak… With every step he took, his heart grew heavier. He found that he hadn’t thought of Jin Feiren in a very long time. He unexpectedly couldn’t remember his appearance anymore. He could only remember the pain of being tossed about in bed and being humiliated as he pleased. He had tasted real sweetness and happiness, only to realize that the candy Jin Feiren handed after brandishing his whip was so bitter and unpalatable. The water caltrop flower mark on his collarbone felt faintly hot, with an indescribable pain. He was already married to Jin Feiren. He no longer had choices. Jin Feiren was a conceited person and would never allow him to leave. If he harbored even the slightest intention to betray him, he would receive the same treatment as that red bird he had admired. He would be made into a plaything, he would be violated to death. He wasn’t that strong. He wouldn’t be able to bear such pain. But, a lifetime was really long, he didn’t know how he would be able to endure… …… Bai Zihao, with great difficulty, walked into the main hall of the Inextinguishable Peak, and once again crawled in front of the god who would dictate his fate.
Shenjun ordered someone to give him a tray with a beautiful and delicate dagger upon it. The dagger was very sharp, suitable for killing and suitable too, for taking one’s life. Bai Zihao smiled and shed tears. The god had been kind to let him taste sweetness before he died. He met that lovely person, he understood how it felt to truly have his heart move. It was enough. Now, he no longer wanted to fall again into that endless pain, where death would be the greatest thing he owned. He gratefully kowtowed three times to the god, and trembling, picked up the dagger. He turned the sharp blade, and aimed it at his heart. The red vine suddenly stretched out, wrapping around the dagger, stopping his next move. It then slowly pulled the blade away and changed its direction. Shenjun finally spoke, “I will give you three choices.” Bai Zihao raised his head in astoundment. “You can choose to love deeply and spend the rest of your life accompanying him in the dungeon.” “You can choose to end your life, and I will let him, as in life, accompany you in death.” “You can also choose to give up your principles, cast off the shackles in your heart, and live only for yourself…” The voice of the god was like the whisper of the devil, directly pouring into the deepest part of his heart, blowing away the mist, revealing a black door that he had never dared to think of.
Bai Zihao looked at the dagger in his hand, as though he was seeing the key to open that door.