Chapter 8: Chapter 8: Feelings

- Ryu -

Ever since that talk with Nicole three days ago, I decided to put some distance between Rihona and me. I figured that doing so would help me sort out how I felt about her. Because of that, I walked to school by myself today.
I had just arrived at the shoe lockers when I saw an acquaintance.

"If it isn't Akaishi! How have you been?"
Sakuragi Takehito from class 2-B. He was a former member of the TCG club, but he, like many others, quit when he got fed up with the president. After that, we battled each other a couple of times in the local card shop.

"Hi, Sakuragi. Same as always."
"Really? Rumors say that you have been going home with a girl."
"J-Just twice. Besides, she is just a friend."
"If you say so..."
"So, what have you been up to lately?"
"I'm dating someone. We have known each other for years, and we finally decided to take things further."
"Tch."

Can't boys and girls be just friends?

"What's with that frown, man? That bitterness is gonna make you age faster," he said.
"Sorry, I was, uh, remembering a nightmare. Yes, that's it."
"Is that so? I thought you were still angry about what happened with Yukimura."
"Come on, that's ancient history at this point."
"I am sure that you don't want 'that' in a museum, though."
"True. Well, it was nice chatting, but I gotta go."
"Same. See you around."

Just as we were going to split off, a familiar voice reached my ears.

"Did you, um, need something?"

That was Rihona's voice. It came from the other side.
I walked around the lockers and saw her talking to a boy wearing a blue tie. He shoved an envelope inside his pocket and cleared his throat.

"Ah, well, you see... I... uh..."

Don't tell me... Is this punk trying to confess to her?

My legs moved on their own and a couple of seconds later I was already standing between them.
"Ah, Rihona, I was looking for you!"
"Ryu?"

I put my arms around her and moved my mouth close to her ear.

"R-Ryu?!"
"Play along," I whispered.

Hearing this, Rihona hugged me back. The boy seemed to get the hint because he made some excuse and left.

Wait, what the hell am I doing?!

I tried letting go of her, but she was clinging to me as koalas cling to trees.

My mind was about to give in when I saw yet another boy, peering from behind a locker.

Another one? When did she become so popular?
This punk must have been the one from earlier in the week.

I wasn't going to be nice to these underclassmen just because they had the same tastes in girls as me. Rather, they were the competition.

Wait, what the hell am I thinking?!

This other boy approached us.

"Excuse me, Aoyagi-senpai. I'm not misunderstanding this, r-right? This person is..."
"What does it look like?" I said.
"S-Sorry for interrupting!"

And there he goes.
That wasn't the end of that, though. A crowd had gathered around us. I saw Sakuragi among them, giving me a thumbs up.

Seriously, what the hell did I just do?!

Once again, I whispered something to Rihona.
"New shampoo?"

 

- - -

- Rihona -

After talking with Mom the other day, I tried doing as she said, but there was a small problem: Ryu seemed to be evading me. He ate lunch at the school's cafeteria, and when classes ended, he rushed home on his own.
I thought he was getting self-conscious about spending time with me, but after what happened this morning, I wasn't sure what to think.
We left the crowd behind and walked to our classroom while holding hands. It was his idea.

Those boys from before... What was that about? Why was Ryu doing this?

He said he would explain everything 'soon', so I just nodded and went along with him. On the way to the classroom, he explained everything.

According to him, the first boy liked me, and the envelope he had on him was probably a love letter. As for the other, Ryu suspected he was the person who observed me a couple of times before.
Upon entering the classroom, everyone turned to us. Ryu let go of my hand.

"Why are you looking at us like that?" he asked.

The one to reply was the class rep, Miyazawa Michiru.

"Good morning. You two seem distressed."
"Of course we do. Everyone, it seems that this school's gossip network can not be underestimated, so I'll come clean. We are not dating, I was just helping Rihona-chan by pretending to be his boyfriend."

Yes, that's what happened.
Ryu was just helping me out. What else would it be? What did I want it to be?
I... like him. It may be too soon for me to say this, but I like him. I have to use this chance!

"Um, Ryu-kun? If we suddenly start acting like usual, people will get suspicious, right?"
"Huh? I guess, yeah."
"So, can I... ask you a favor? Will you keep pretending to be my boyfriend?"

I said it.

"O-Okay, I will help. You hear, everyone? We are merely pretending. Don't misunderstand."

I'm sorry, Ryu-kun. I will abuse your kindness.

During lunch, Sugihara, Niko, Ryu, and I put our desks together and ate together. Since our classmates already knew about our little farse, it was better if we ate in the classroom.

"So," Niko asked, waving her chopsticks around, "when is the wedding?"
"Hah. Hah. Hah. Very funny."
"How long do you plan to keep up this fake relationship?" Sugihara asked.
"I don't know."
"And what are you doing to do after this? Will you tell everyone that you decided you were better off as friends?"
"I suppose so."
"Won't those guys see that as a second chance to go after her?"
"I..."

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Sugihara glared at Ryu.

"Ryu, you didn't think this through at all, did you?"
"I didn't. I acted on impulse, I have no idea what I am doing and I will probably end up making things worse. Satisfied? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

This is my fault.

"P-Please don't fight," I looked at Ryu in the eye and grabbed his arm, "I know you were just trying to help me. If anyone is at fault here, it's me."
"Don't say that, I am-"
"Yes, we are all terrible people, blah blah blah. Let's hurry and finish our lunch," Sugihara said.

To think that just a couple of days ago we were all laughing and having fun.
I am an idiot. Why did I ask Ryu to prolong this lie? Why did I let him lie for my sake in the first place?
I am the one who acted on impulse. I am the one who has no idea what she is doing. I made things worse.
Life was simpler when I didn't have any friends, I should just...

My phone vibrated, pulling me back to reality.

A text from Miyazawa-san?

I tapped the notification and read her message.

She wants to hang out tomorrow. 'Girls only'.

Just then, Niko received a text.

"It's from Hikaru-chan."

She must have received the same text. An invitation to get together and have fun, just the four of us.

That's right, I have friends now. I can share my troubles with someone.

Haven't I troubled enough people already?
Just stop. Nothing good will come out of this. Back off already. Before it's too late.

"Rihona-chan, are you okay?"

Ryu's hand moved forward. He was about to touch my shoulder when...

"Don't!"

See? You did it again. Your 'gift', or rather, your 'curse' activated. Reading minds and violating their privacy is not the only thing you can do, you can also hurt them. You always do.

Back in elementary school, I lost control of my power and ended up causing a sharp headache to everyone. One boy even lost consciousness.

And now, once again...

"Huh?"

Ryu's hand reached its target. He raised an eyebrow and called out to me.

"Rihona-chan? Should we go to the infirmary?"

He was fine.

Of course he is fine. I can't go inside his mind unless he makes a conscious effort to let me.

"I'm fine."

That was a lie. My head was a mess, but I didn't want to make them worry even more. I didn't want to upset Ryu.

I wanted him to smile. Even if that smile wasn't directed at me.

 

- - -

- Ryu -

After our classes were over, Rihona and I left school together. I still had my doubts about this whole "fake couple" business, but then I realized something.

Back then, I never said anything about being Rihona's boyfriend. All I did was hug her and let everyone make their own conclusions. I only said the word "boyfriend" when I was already in the classroom.

She didn't seem to realize that. I could make use of that and...
No, I don't want to be dishonest with her.

Rihona was walking by my side, holding onto my hand.

"Back when I hugged you, do you remember what I said to those guys?"
"Eh? Let's see, I think you said 'what does it look like?'."
"Yes, that's all I said."

Rihona seemed to understand my point because she let go of my hand, which until now she had been gripping.

"We never said anything about being a couple, right?"
"Correct," I said.
She looked down, but then she grabbed my hand once again. "Let's keep acting friendly like usual, then."
"Yeah. If they misunderstand, that's their own fault."

Is this what I wanted to achieve? Aren't we just running away from our true feelings?

No, I was just testing the waters. Depending on how things went, I would consider asking her out for real.

"Testing the waters?" Aren't I just being a coward?

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