Chapter 36: Chapter 35: A Terrible Dream [Sexual Frustration(2)]

 

"Haru..." Onee-chan slowly climbs on top of me and her hands make their way around my chest. 

My partner down there slowly rises at the very touch of her fingers. Maybe it was also because of the position we were in.

"Onee-chan..." She licks her lips.

I want to take her. She looks like she wants to do the same.

-Or so I thought until she stops all of a sudden, looking down at something or somewhere.

I hear giggling. "What are you doing, getting all horny, pervy Haru?" She points down my excited partner, smirking sinisterly. 

"O-Onee-chan?"

She tilts her a little, the smirk still fresh on her pretty face. "Remember? No. More. Ecchi. Things." The smirk only grows larger.

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With a single wink, I find myself awake. My room is pretty dark with the lights off and the curtains shut.

"Ha... That was a bad dream." I say, slowly getting up. "Ahhh, but it's way too realistic~" This dream reminded me of yesterday. Yes, the tragedy of yesterday.

'No more having sex with me or jerking off.' She'd said. 

I look out the window. The sun is still rising, and with it, it's painting a mixture of colors; pink and orange. It's probably about 7 o clock right now. Possibly the earliest I've woken up since the start of the summer. I wonder what will happen when still starts again. Will I be able to wake on time?

Those words come into play starting today. I survived yesterday pretty easily. I just have to do the same as yesterday. That's right, it's not that hard!-

There was a time I really believed in those words. Half the day has gone by and it's been hard. At the start of the day- before I left my room, it was so easy, but then, I saw Onee-chan... and... I was reminded of all those 'stuff' we've done just a couple of days prior. The thought of not being able to do it made it even more difficult. 

Now that even more time passed, and since it was about the usual time I did my business(masturbating), it's been challenging. Onee-chan said not to, but I am still a little tempted to do it. Maybe half of the reason I feel like this is because she told me not to. 

If this was a couple of months ago, then I would have followed whatever Onee-chan said, even now, that fact remains the same, and yet... I want to 'rebel' against her. I really am quite strange. Maybe doing all things changed me a little? Could this be what they call 'maturing'?

This new event of such might really turn my summer upside down. After all, with school closed and our parents out sometimes due to many reasons, one being it's, well, summer, and two, because we want to stay inside, I was looking forward to having sex with Onee-chan a lot. But, I guess that won't be happening. 

At least our parents are enjoying themselves... right? I can just be happy for them while I suffer from disappointment, right?

To distract me from... something, I watch the evening sun and try to see its movements. It's hard(just like my...) to notice much. It doesn't even look like it's moving. Sigh, who knows how many more days I have to live like this. For the first time in a while, I can't wait for the day to end.

Though, at this point, it just feels like I'm boring myself on purpose. I'm not even doing anything, even though I can.

Throughout the day, I found myself staring at Onee-chan more than usual. I'm not sure why though. It was sad to think I couldn't do anything with her after everything we've done already and... she's just so pretty. 

I let out a deep sigh, disappointed in myself. This is only the first day, how am I so weak? Is it cause I'm short? Impossible. Back in elementary school, there was this short kid that beat this taller kid up.

Maybe cause I made it so normal in my life, having it out of it makes it feel strange. "Does that mean it's an addiction?" I swallow, starting to get nervous. There's no way right?

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I've heard about alcohol addiction and stuff like that. It's not pretty. Not in the least. Addictions sucks. We've learned a little bit about them in class(if it wasn't already pretty obvious).

Just as I was about to drift further into my thoughts, I hear a knock on the door and am reminded of Onee-chan. I find myself a little hopeful. Could it be she changed her mind? 

"Haruka, do you want to go out with me?" Oh, it's just mom. 

"Go out?" My facial muscles and my body relax.

"I was planning on going out for some stuff. Do you want to come along?"

"Sure." I have nothing better to do. I let out a sigh of disappointment. 

I get changed and see mom at the door, putting her shoes on. We leave the house and start our walk to wherever we're going soon after.

"Onee-chan isn't coming?" I asked after a couple of steps.

"No, she seems to be busy right now,"

"Oh, I see," I wonder what she's busy with.

"You don't like being alone with Mom?" She asks, tilting her head, seemingly disappointed, sad, and almost hurt. It almost feels like she was about frown due to the sadness.

"N-no! It's not like that! I was just curious, I guess," 

When was the last time I went out with mom? It's like I'm slowly getting detached from the world. First Onee-chan, now mom. 

"Haruka, how has your summer been?" She suddenly says.

"Normal?"

"Have you finished your summer homework?"

"..."

"It's almost August you know. If you leave it all for the end, you'll regret it."

"I'll do it when we get home..." I guess I could ask 'that', but still, should I? Oh, well, doesn't matter. "Mom, have you ever been addicted to something?"

"Addicted? Hmm~ Your father's love?" She seems to be telling the truth. Well, most of it. 

"...Not tha-" Wait, could that be one reason it's been hard? Now that I think about it, me and Onee-chan haven't really talked today. "Not that. Like... I don't know, something that made life without it hard."

"Your father's love. And of course, you guys. Family. I'm not sure if I'd call it an addiction, but, if you guys were to disappear from my life, I... I'm not sure what I'd do. The thought alone hurts,"

"Mom..."

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