Chapter 39: 37. Life Goes On

-...and aeons passed without Farah Satyll’s prophecy coming to be. Until Matriarch Galivee, under the blessing of the Maiden, researched the benefit of ferrous glass to…-

Jade looked from the leatherbound volume in my direction and frowned.

-Are you listening?-

I blinked a few times. I was vaguely aware that she HAD been telling me about something, but the exact nature of what she was saying eluded me.

-Yeah. absolutely.-

I signed, but couldn't meet her eyes with a clean conscience.

-Alright, so tell me what I just said.-

She replied with an eyebrow raised as she leaned back on her wooden chair.

I rubbed my chin pensively in an effort to stall for time, or for her to let go of it, but she was having none of it. I tried to glance at the book's content in the hope that I could get a clue, but she wouldn't have been here with me in the first place if I could read it on my own.

By Onilab

Seeing my eyes wander about she shook her head and visibly sighed.

-Come on, Silika. You have to focus!-

I felt my heart sink at her comment. I didn’t like Jade being mad at me…

-I'm sorry. It's just really difficult to understand. Why do I even have to learn all this? It's not even directly related to Scorn!-

She shook her head again at my words.

-Everyone has to learn at least this much. At your age, I had already memorised all the Patriarch and Matriarch of Diid… And I've now memorised all of Scorn's for your sake! You’re late on getting started so you have to work twice as hard.-

I grumbled.

-You're not that much older than me…-

It annoys me when she uses her age to put herself above me, but it seems my words backfired as she raised an eyebrow.

-I really don't think saying that makes your situation any better. You have to focus or at least get better at reading. Once fall begins, I won't be able to tutor you as often, remember?-

Of course I remember! It annoys me to no end! If we're not going to be able to see each other as often, I really wish we could at least spend the time we have outside in the sun or at least at the house instead of this stuffy library.

Still waiting for an answer, Jade rested her head against her hand and looked at me expectantly, but before I could say anything, her eyes darted to the right and a polite smile appeared on her face as she stood up from her seat. I turned around and recognised the Bishop and followed Jade as she walked up to him, while trying my best not to trip on the hem of my dress.

He asked something from Jade which I assumed to be the status of my learning. She replied to him slowly. I was a bit worried about what she might be saying. I know she's my friend and wouldn't purposely put me in trouble, but she sometimes has those 'big sister' instincts that made her do otherwise.

The Bishop's face remained as expressionless as ever. Although it was nice to know he wouldn't get angry at me, I knew very well that if I misbehaved, I should expect a scolding from someone else... Although probably not by Lionheart.

I don't know if that’s because he's too kind or afraid to do it. He is also a very busy person so I haven’t seen him that often in the last week. Mostly only at meal times. I wish he wasn't so busy, but I don’t want to tell him. He might think I’m too greedy.

The Bishop waited patiently for Jade to finish her report before nodding knowingly and sharing a few words with her. After a few back and forths, the Bishop turned to me and knelt to my height. He closed his eyes and tilted his head forward. It was the second time we were doing this, so I knew what he expected of me and tilted my head forward as well and let our forehead meet. I felt the vibrations of his voice reverberate through my head. I knew it to be a prayer, although I didn’t know the words for it.

As the vibrations traversed through my head, I felt the muscles of my neck relax. Something about this process made me feel so much calmer.

We separated and he looked at me for a moment, before taking out something from his pocket. It was a black metal cube. Similar to the one he had given me at my baptism which was now carefully displayed on my nightstand back home.

Knowing what he expected I extended my hand and let him place the cube in my palm. Before I could even feel the shock come from it, I made it turn into a flower.

This was all part of the training every Scornkin had to go through before their communion according to what Jade had explained to me before.

It was a bit like a rite of passage. Not as big of an event as a baptism, but a communion was just as important.

Children and even adults sometimes worshipped more than one god, so although a person could only ever get baptised once, they could get as many communion as there were gods. For the church to recognise a person's dedication, a believer had to prove their knowledge of both the gods and their blessings.

The Bishop picked up the flower from my hand and observed it. After a few moments, the edges of the flower dulled and in an instant it went back to being a cube. The bishop nodded, satisfied, and put the cube back into his pocket.

From my study session with Jade, I had learned that this dark metal cube was called 'Unimaterium Ferrous Glass'. I didn't quite understand how it worked since there were so many big words involved, but it seemed that it was made from something that reacted to Scorn's blessing and allowed us to change its shape with ease. The downside was that in its unchanged shape, it had the annoying habit of shocking the person holding it.

The Bishop said a few more words to Jade behind me before standing up once more.

Jade walked to my side and smiled.

They discussed for a few more moments.

At the sight of his expression, I let out a sigh of relief. It seemed that although I got distracted, the Bishop was still satisfied with my work today.

As the conversation came to an end, and the Bishop bowed and took his leave, Jade signed to me.

-Come on let's go pack our things-

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I nodded and we walked back to the table. I tried to hop back on the chair, but the skirt of my dress got caught in a gap in the seat’s wood.

Since I had become a Baron’s daughter, they had made me start dressing the part and that unfortunately involved a needless amount of fabric. It did look pretty though and compared to the past, I could actually pick the colour of my clothes.

Jade, seeing me struggle, came to help me and we were able to get the dress loose without tearing it. Slightly exhausted I sat on the chair and let my body lay on the cool wood of the table.

-Still not used to it?-

She asked, but I wasn’t sure what to answer.

It wasn’t a matter of ‘being used to it’. The actual question I asked myself everyday was: can I get used to it? Is it something that can be learnt?

Unsure, I simply shrugged at her question.

-Give it time. You got used to the orphanage didn’t you? You can do it again.-

She said with a kind smile… but it wasn’t what worried me.

I looked up from her hand and stared at her green eyes for a moment. Eternally loving, eternally patient. Would I have gotten used to the orphanage without them? Without Jade?

-It’s just… hard to accept.-

I begun explaining.

The right words wouldn’t come to me, so I simply signed away.

-I know this is real, of course it is, how could it be any other way? But there’s something in my head. Like a voice… Or a feeling. Something that tells me that I don’t belong here. That I don't deserve to ever feel happy. It whispers in my dreams and tells me that it can all be taken away at any moment and that my happiness is only temporary.-

Jade started to move her fingers to reply, but she stopped in her tracks and her lips tightened.

She doesn’t know what to say. I can tell. She wants to be reassuring, tell me everything will be fine, but she knows just as much as anyone that things don’t always go the way it seems they should.

I looked down at the table.

I used to think I was safe with my family, but then it came crumbling down with one mistake. I thought I was safe with Goldie, but even she couldn’t do anything against my parents when they came for me. I finally thought I was safe at the orphanage, but as soon as I was alone in the streets, danger crept up on me and only Jade was able to protect me… But in the end even Jade became not enough to stand against them.

She put her hands on mine and squeezed tightly before signing to me.

-I know it's scary, but I think you can trust Sir Lionheart. If you had seen him that day… Well, I don't think he would let anything bad happen to you.-

I want to trust Lionheart, but can I really? It feels like he’s always so far, so distant.

Almost as if he’s avoiding me.

-There's… Something else bothering me… It's really not important, but…-

I said hesitantly.

Jade tilted her head, but before I could say anything else, I Felt the table tremble slightly and Jade tense up. I looked to the side and noticed something new on the wood surface.

-What's that?!-

Jade asked, shocked.

-Sparrow!-

It was my seeking bird looking up at us with its wooden body. If he was here, then that meant…

I quickly started packing my bag at the surprise of a flustered Jade who was still curiously looking at the bird.

-Wait a moment, Silika! What is this?-

I stood up in a hurry, almost knocking my chair over, and grabbed the wooden bird.

-Lionheart’s here!-

I quickly signed. I slung my bag over my shoulder, sent Sparrow ahead and grabbed Darkie. Not a moment later I started running down with Jade hot on my trail.

I came through the threshold of the church, the sunlight blinding me momentarily.

When my vision adjusted once more I was greeted with a familiar grey and green moustache.

-Greetings, my lady. Ready to depart?-

Stash asked with an eternal smile on his lips as he stood in front of the carriage…But Lionheart was nowhere to be seen.

 

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