Chapter 125: Kouta makes his decision.

When I open my eyes, there is no light in the room.  Kuu-tan has apparently turned into a living kurage musume.  Long black hair, and capable only of stinging my heart.  If she was a stingray, I might at least have a clean painless death.  Instead I am holding on to all of my anger now.

In a lolita form.

Which one of us will say something first?

…

“I won’t move.”  says the jellyfish girl.  “Because when I do, it’s over, right? And if this is my last hug, I want it to last forever.”

I see.  This is a battle of attrition.  Very well.  I am prepared as well.

“No matter how you look at it, you’re going to have to give up in about seven months.” I say to the invertebrate on my lap.

“Okay…  Seven months then, but just to let you know, I already have to pee.” she says.

“...”

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like that, Kouta.  You have to know that.  You have to know I wouldn’t betray you after last time.  Especially not with a man.”

“...”

“I can’t say I was raped though, either.  I… wasn’t in my right mind.  It was only supposed to be Ana-san and I.  I didn’t even know he was there until…”

I squeeze her hard.  I don’t want her to finish the sentence.

“Ouch!  Kouta-kun… it hurts…”

“Aa… it hurts a lot, Ruru.” I tell her.

“Don’t squeeze so hard… or I’ll…”

Too late.  A bit of liquid warmth enters my lap.

“I told you I had to pee.” it seems she’s more an octopus inking me now than a jellyfish.

…

She hasn’t moved still, and the warm yellow stream is now slowly turning cold.

“You can’t make me clean again?” She asks.

“And how would I do that?”

“I don’t know, but I was hoping you might know a way.”

“Ruru… I’m hurt.  I’m hurt because you didn’t think of a safer way to do it.  It’s not like you didn’t know there was another man over there.”

“... he wasn’t there when I went.  He wasn’t there when I texted you.  I don’t know when he came in… until I realized too late, I thought it WAS you.”

“How could it be me, when I was in your room?”

“That’s the thing.  Kouta-kun… I wasn’t in my right mind when it happened.  I had to have been under the influence of something…”

“What?  You went over drunk?” I ask her.

“No… but when I got there… I may have accidentally done something…”

“Something?”

“She had these cigarettes… but it turns out it was marijuana.  There were other things going on… it was to loosen me up, but I didn’t know what it was until afterwards when she told me… after everything.”

“Okay.  So, let’s get this straight.  I gave you permission for Ana alone. You go over there to reconcile your past… do drugs while pregnant, and then get fucked by her husband.  Did I miss anything?”

“No.  Only that I never meant to be anywhere near Ken.  I didn’t know it was a drug, and my closure is about as ruined as I am.”

“You’re an adult, right?  I mean, I’m eighteen, sure, but isn’t situational awareness a thing they teach you over there in Osaka?  Or didn’t you learn it a little at least here in Tokyo?”

“Don’t let me go, Kouta-kun!  I don’t want to be thrown away! Not by you…”

“Well, what am I supposed to do with you?  I can forgive you going to Kanae, so even doing that, that leaves you with two strikes.  Sato-san and ...Ken? was it?”

“So there’s one more strike!”

“And when a batter is doing poorly, what happens? You sub in a pinch hitter, right?” I say, in frustration. “You don’t keep them in the game!”

“Kouta-kun, please…”

“Get off and go change.” I say to her. “Enough of this!”

“NO!  I didn’t cheat!  I deserve whatever you do to me, but I didn’t willingly cheat!  I was betrayed every bit as you were!  I didn’t want a man other than you inside of me, but what could I do?  I was pinned down.  I couldn’t stop it!  I didn’t even know he was there… was inside of me until it was too late!”

“Even so, I have to share that blame, because I allowed it and trusted in you to make an adult decision, and it ended up like this, anyway.” I say to her “So, to cut the losses on any further damage and disappointment…”

“NO!”

“...we should stop seeing…”

“NO!... Kouta-kun… please...no….”

“...each other.”

…

She has slumped down from the chair to the floor, and is sobbing between my legs.  I sigh, and get up, climb over her, and head upstairs to my old room.  I still have my clothes there, and I’m going to take a quick shower to get her jellyfish spray off of me.

…

In the shower, I had thought myself safe, since I locked the door, but three bodies entered the room after forcing the lock.

Shi-chan, Kanae, and Ume.

They close the door behind them.

“Kouta.  Is that your decision then?”  Kanae asks me.

“Yes.  I’m done with Ruru.”

“Nothing we can do to change your mind?” Nakada-san asks.

I shake my head.

“You’re absolutely sure?” Ume confirms.

I nod.

“Alright, Kouta.  We respect your decision.  Please take care of yourself in the future.”

…

All three leave.  Ugh, how frustrating.  It wasn’t an easy decision to reach.  But it was the logical one…  I refuse to be cuckolded.  I’m not my father, and I don’t need someone who can’t use proper judgment, and keeps hurting me so.  I love Ruru, I do.  But it’s only natural to break up with a cheater!

My shower is long, but peaceful.  When I get out, and go downstairs, there is only a table full of food, and Reiko there.

“Where is everyone?” I ask.

“They left.” She says.

“??”

“Well, since you can’t forgive Ruru, that translated to them that they couldn’t be forgiven if something happened to them too. They felt it was too risky to stay anymore. Kanae says she’ll be back later, but for now, it’s just you and I.”

“I see…”

What do I see?  I see an empty house, and an empty garden once more.

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“I’m full… I’ll be in bed if you need anything from me.” Reiko says.

 

…

Kanae returns, albeit very late, and has joined me in the living room.

“Apartment?” I ask her, obvious to where she took them.

“Yes.” She replies. “They have decided to stick together until you become reasonable.”

“And you?”

“I’m always yours.  Even if I think you are hopelessly retarded, maybe the baby you give me won’t be.”

“It was your idea?”

“Nope.  It was Shi-chan’s.”

“Shi-chan?”

“She said it was her fault, and Ruru should be given another chance.  Ume also agreed, saying Ruru-sensei had the right intention at the start, and even though it was an unfortunate accident, you should at least be willing to accept that she wants to have a chance to atone and not make the same mistake again…  she hasn’t had a cigarette all day long, despite being stressed, and is even stopping drinking.  She’s making an effort to change, for you, and for the baby, you know?  She can’t undo the past, but wants to be better for you in the future, whenever that is. Whatever you want her to strive for, she’s willing to meet you past halfway.”

…

“Want me to stay or want me to go look after them?” Kanae asks me.

“Go, for now.  If they need anything, take it.”

“Alright.”

I sigh and leave Kanae, heading into Reiko’s bedroom.  Mom is entirely naked and under the covers.

“What about you?” I ask her “You side with them too?”

“Doesn’t matter if I do.  I’m your woman now, and you are the man of the house.  I don’t care to go anywhere else, since this is my house too.  Just take what you need, and let me know when you are done, so I can clean up afterwards.”

“...”

I give up and go to sleep

The rest of the week passes as such.  At school neither Ume nor Shi-chan bother with me, and wherever they are eating, it’s not at their spot.

If I want sex, I can get it from Mom or Kanae, but none of the girls will reply to my texts. Mom is acting like a fishwife, willing but unwilling.  Kanae is more than willing… happy in fact to let me, but… well… 

She just encourages me to talk with Ruru the entire time.

It’s at that time I realize… without my garden, my life is empty.  I’m back to being mob Kouta.  All my confidence is slipping from my grasp, and I don’t know what to do.

I end up talking with Kawazu about it.

“So?”

“What do you mean so?”

“What do you think the last few years of my life has been like?  I didn’t break up with Rina.  She left me, and drowned in dick because of her fuck-up.  Because of you I was able to reconnect, because I was too much of a coward to do it on my own.  Do you think I wanted other women?  No.  I only wanted Rina.  But I wasn’t able to convey my feelings properly either.  I took the roundabout way and we both have to deal with that.  We never should have broken up.  I forgave her for it long ago.  She was the one who was ashamed.  And I didn’t tell her it was okay.  It wasn’t okay, but how worse do you want to make it?  Do you want her to sleep with a dozen shitty guys before you realize you love her and now you get to deal with more shit you really don’t want to?  I’m your bro.  Go make it right.  I’m not saying you gotta plunge raw into her, just forgive her, and when the time is right again, then it’s fine when it’s then.”

…

Ruru with another guy… and then another… just because I couldn’t tell her no to being with Ana… even though I knew there was a man who could have been present.  My own lack of foresight in allowing her also allowed it to happen.

…

So, after school, I run past Ume and Shi-chan who I see at the gate, and I head towards the apartment.  I open the door with the key, and Kanae is there.

“She’s next door, idiot.”

“I know.”

I move to Kanae and kiss her. “Sorry for being an idiot.” I say and run to the back porch door and over to hers, which she left unlocked.

She’s asleep.

I close and lock the porch door, and I scoop her up, and carry her into her bedroom.  It should have been a pigsty, but it looked like she tried to clean up.  The whole house did.

Maybe.

Maybe, just maybe…

I lay her down, and I lay next to her, holding her so carefully in my arms.

When she wakes up, it’s about the time Kanae would serve dinner.

“Kouta-kun?”

“I can be right, or I can be happy.” I say to her  “So, I’d rather be happy.”

“What if I tell you it’s too late?”

“Then that’s it.  Maybe one day in the future we meet again, maybe I can handle it then, maybe it’s much worse, and I can’t and this was the best it could have been.”

“So you came to make love to me?”

“No.  I just came to take you back.  We both need to grow some more, so that’s just what we’ll do.  Slow steps forward again.  What do you say?”

“I just want to be with you… Kouta-kun. That’s all.”

“Then come back home with me.”

“What about the others.”

“What about them?”

“You came for them too?”

“No.  Just you.”

“Kouta-kun!<3”

It was difficult to pry a lustful pregnant loli off of me, but somehow I managed.  I left the other girls there, and a message for Kanae.  Ruru returned with me to the house, and we crept in without waking Reiko.  We slept upstairs in Kanae’s old room, and all I did was hold her.

The girls came back on Sunday, along with Kanae, but it was a while before I touched Ruru again in that way.

We all sat down together, and the video was shown to everyone. Ruru explained everything the best she could.  Everything about what happened leading up to it, and what happened while it was going on.  It was difficult to hear it all, but when it was all laid out, it became clear the blame was as Kanae said… it belonged to both of us.  Each of the flowers, including Chikako had their opinions, she was admonished, but also welcomed back by the girls.

Ruru slept in my mother’s room, Kanae with Shi-chan, and Ume and Chikako in my old room.  I would visit each in turn, enjoying it once more.

Time crept closer towards Kizuna being born, and Ruru’s newly forming bump wasn’t the only problem I was facing.

Kanae.. and Ume too… became pregnant.

I won’t say it was difficult returning to Ruru.  The first time… I couldn’t get it up.   But Ruru persevered.  She gave up smoking and drinking the entire time.  She would help out wherever she could, and she even learned how to make TKG for me, and have it waiting when I would come down for breakfast.  Kanae taught her how to make it so it was edible.

We eventually talked about it… and then it happened again.

One night… while attempting it with Ruru… it stayed up.  Just long enough for one time.

After that, I sat down with everyone, and explained what I wanted from each and every one of them.  What I would allow, what I wouldn’t, and what I expected from them should any similar situation arise.  I made sure we were ALL on the same page.

Kanae and Mom… began to speak to one another again.  It was mostly arguments, but that was to be expected.  Ume invited in Shi-chan one night for a 3p… and after an amazing experience I learned about a certain man which connected them in their traumas.

Kanae borrowed Chikako, and gave her some work at the studio after school, it also opened KanAtelier to a younger audience. 

It crept closer and closer to the middle of November…

(Secret 89:  Teta called Ruru one night a couple weeks after the Osaka trip, explaining what did happen.  It didn’t matter in the end, since Kouta accepted what happened.  For Ruru, it was a relief, but she vowed not to let knowing change her forward progress.  The road to redemption had started, and she would strive to be a better person for all the hardships she caused.)

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