Chapter 31: Kouta and Shiho have a sit down.

 

It’s Wednesday morning.  I woke up with a flower in each arm.  Their names are Kanae and Shiori.

 

They are naked.  For the one on my left, I have been the subject of her love for all of my life.  For the one on the right, she is the love I dream of having for all of my life.

 

I sit in my chair and stare at them both.

 

They are probably awake right now, but taking this morning slow.

 

Last night, I had a part of my innocence taken.  Though I say that, it’s not like I can measure such a thing.

 

I can’t say who the culprit was.

 

I’m walking a very dangerous line.  One which is steeped in taboo.

 

For you see.  The flower on the left is my sister. To every moral fiber I have, she is forbidden.  I feel no attraction to her, and my son doesn’t respond to knowingly touching her with that intent.

 

That is as it should be.

 

The flower on my right is my lover. Girlfriend and soon to be lover, I should somewhat correct myself. She is a whirlwind. A summer storm. An Angel of Destruction, and a Wild Beast of Eros.

 

When touching her, every feeling a teenage boy should have pours forth. Lust, Desire, Love, Protection.

 

Without knowing the details, I had a sexual encounter.  Was it with one of them, or both? The clarity I should have received was denied me.

 

I love both of them, and because of me, one of them can love the other, and the other can receive both of our love.

 

A relationship which was supposed to be simple, has become complicated.

 

And I don’t know what to now.

 

So I sit here, and wait for them to awaken.

…

 

Eventually the first one does.

 

It’s the flower I would have plucked.

 

The Angel of Destruction.

 

Nakada Shiori.

 

Who until last week was only the subject of a short look, and a long wet dream from time to time.

 

She is now my woman.

 

“Kouta.  Come.”

 

I get up from my chair and answer her call.

 

She is reaching out to me, but not to climb back into bed and make love to her, though that is certainly a possibility if I were to suggest it.  No, it’s to help her up from the futon on the floor.  A nest we all created to search for the boundaries of love.

 

I grasp her hands with my own, and pull her up.

 

The Angel is Naked.

 

The Angel is Beautiful.

 

I want to push her down on my stripped down bed and mess her up.  I want to bury my face in her firm and springy breasts, and I want to put my son in, and have him return a man.

 

Yet, I said I wanted to get to know her first before I did so.  In the week we have been together I have learned one thing.

 

For every bit she can love, an equal amount of pain she can inflict.

 

My emotions which have barely wavered as I’ve grown into who I am now, are now a tsunami, threatening to sweep me away.

 

What will be left of me if that happens?

 

She embraces me, who is also naked.

 

She reaches her arms and loops them around my neck, and gives me a good morning kiss.

 

It is enough to stir up trouble.

 

She pays it no mind.

 

I pull her close and as I can feel her wonderful softness, there is no doubt she is not aware of my own pleasure to see her this morning.

 

“Kouta. Ecchi.”

 

God damn right.

 

I lean back and lower myself to kiss her there, and rest my head on her chest.

 

She holds me with one hand still, and runs a hand over my hair.

 

“I love you Shiori.”

 

“Un.  I am Kouta’s, always, entirely.”

 

It’s bright.

 

Not the sun coming in through my window.

 

The trust I have received from her.

 

I could throw her away, and I do believe she would suffer for a while.

 

But I cannot.

 

Like a man cannot throw out a flame, and expect to see on a dark night.

 

My sun is suddenly becoming Shiori.

 

“Kouta. Go get dressed.” The Angel tells me.

 

I let go of her, and she kneels down by the other flower.

 

“Kana-chan, time to wake up, princess.”

 

Nakada-san leans over her and places a kiss on her lips, like a prince in a fairy tale.

 

The petals of that flower dare to unfurl.

 

Nakada-san removes the covers only so far.  As a courtesy to me perhaps, and climbs atop the lazy flower.

 

She showers the one below her with kisses.  She moves her hands over the other’s body.  Their skin overlaps.

 

Eventually, the lazy flower stirs from slumber.  She is greeted with a softer good morning kiss. The Angel leans back, and the bosom of the other is once more exposed to me.  

 

I should care to not look.

 

But I do.

 

I see my sister there, glowing, after being woken up by what is mine.

 

I should be quite jealous.

 

But my sister after so many years shows an expression of pure happiness.

 

It’s like a dim flashlight in the night getting a fresh battery and chasing away the darkness.

 

“Shiori <3”

 

“Kana-chan <3”

 

Like she did with me, she embraced my sister.

 

Was it like this for them while I overslept the morning before?

 

“Oh Kouta.”

 

The awakened flower wants to show me a courtesy, and curl her petals up.

 

But the other doesn’t let her.

 

“It can wait.” is what she says.

 

The two embrace further.

 

It’s just a hug to my eyes, but it’s much more to them... to the lazy flower, moreso.

 

“Kana-chan charging.”

 

The Angel is pouring the divine energy of life into the lazy flower.  it will bloom splendidly..

 

Surely.

 

After a while, when Onee-chan had her fill, Shiori helped her up.

 

I looked away then.

 

The two dressed themselves, as I stared at a wall of books and figurines.  A testament to the disconnection I should have from an event like this.

 

This is an event a person in the real would might have.

 

But I haven’t been able to cross that yet.

 

I am a two dimensional person, slowly experiencing the third dimension, understanding that there are so many new vectors that can be explored.

 

I have been dressed from before..

 

The two of them have just finished dressing.

 

We head downstairs, presumably to eat.

 

Onee-chan is in her element in the kitchen.

 

A small breakfast of rice and pickled vegetables.

 

A quiet breakfast, with smiles all around.

 

It’s so fragile to me.

 

“Kouta. Kanae. Visiting a circle today, it’s important.”

 

Onee-chan and I nod at her request.

 

“The last couple of days have been incredible, but I too have to go to my own group.”

 

I also have to work.

 

“I have some work I need to look at, so it seems we won’t see each other until later, then.”

 

We all nod.

 

“Leaving first.  Breakfast was delicious.”

 

Shiori has only her smartphone in hand.

 

We watch her change into shoes and leave the house.

 

She doesn’t even look back once.

 

I am left alone with Onee-chan for the time being.

 

Onee-chan is now shaking.

 

“Onee?”

 

…

 

“Fucking hell.  Kouta.”

 

Onee-chan nervously starts her bad habit before finishing her food.

 

puha~.... suuu~

 

“Kouta.  What is she?”

 

I shake my head.

 

“When she gets like that, I like to call her Shiori the Angel.”

 

puha~..... suuu~

 

“Kouta.   I’m.. messed up I think.” Onee says flatly.

 

I nod.

 

“Should I be worried about last night?” I inquire of Onee-chan who was able to see.

 

puuuuuuuuuuha~... …. …. … suuuuuuu~

 

“Kouta. I might be the deviant here.”

 

Onee-chan is worried about something.

 

“I… might be that… or not.  Right now, my mind is only filled with her.  I can still feel her kiss and her touch on my body.  I didn’t want to let her go.  It’s crazy Kouta.  I.. don’t understand.”

 

“Nee-chan is in love, right?”

 

“Is that what this is?” She is perplexed.

 

“I think so.”

 

“Kouta.  Can… can I go further with her?”

 

Eh?

 

“C..can I?”

 

Why are you asking me?

 

“Please… Kouta.  it’s what she said to me among many other things in the shower last night.”

 

puha~...  suu~

 

“Without you, I cannot go further than what you saw this morning.  She gave me the limit of what you have basically approved.”

 

“Nee-chan.” I really have to…?

 

“You don’t have to answer now. I’m a bundle of nerves right now anyway.  But I’d like you to do this for me.  I want to taste and be tasted by her.”

 

Nee-chan is a wreck.

 

“I’ll give it thought.”

 

She nods, while her hand and body shakes.

 

“Last night… was it good for you?” she changes topics

 

“Aa.  it was the best thing I’ve experienced so far in my life.”

 

“I’m glad.”

 

Nee-chan takes one last one, and stubs it out.  She gets up from her chair and comes over to me.  She gives me a big hug, and a kiss.  But a quick peck, and on the lips.

 

“I… if it’s with her Kouta.  I would cross the line, I think.  I’m sorry you have to see your Onee-chan in such a shameful state as this.”

 

My nee-chan is broken.

 

Shiori broke her.

 

I broke her.

 

I hug her a bit more.

 

“Take it easy Onee… gather yourself.  I want to cry myself right now, but it’s hard when you are like this… because then the both of us will be no good.”

 

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Onee-chan breaks down in tears.  She’s sobbing wildly in my arms and there is little I can do to help.

 

I just hold her and pat her hair.

 

She stops eventually.

 

“I’m going to freshen up and go to work.  I’ll be back around four or five if I can.”

 

“Have a good day at work Onee-chan.”

 

“You too.”

 

She leaves to the bathroom.

 

I am left to clean the table and dishes again.

 

My phone suddenly pings.

 

[Unknown Sender (1)

 

Is this Kawamura Kouta-kun?  

 

We met the day before.  I am Nakada Shiho.   

 

I won’t apologize for the previous meeting, but will you consider meeting me again?

 

It can be at my home, or anywhere of your choosing.

 

Please.]

 

Eh?  Isn’t this Nakada-mama?

 

I reply quickly.

 

[to Unknown Sender

 

Apology is unnecessary.  I remember where you live.  When would you like me to come over?]

 

ping! sent!

 

…

 

[Unknown Sender (1)

 

Anytime that is convenient to you.

 

Thank you for responding quickly.]

 

…

 

[to Unknown Sender

 

I’m free now.  I’ll head out in a few minutes.]

 

ping! sent!

 

…

I hurry and do the dishes then make sure I’m not a wreck myself.

 

I lock up and head towards the home of Nakada-san’s mother.

 

I’m actually a bit frightened of her.

 

Maybe that’s why Shi-chan is so scary.

 

It’s not too far away by foot.

 

I didn’t bring any chocolates this time.

 

knock knock

 

I barely wait a moment, before the door opens.

 

It’s Nakada-san.

 

...when she’s older.

 

“Good morning.”

 

“Please come in.”

 

She passes on the greeting.

 

I enter the house, and we sit down at the table.

 

“Kouta-kun.. is it alright to call you that?”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“How is she?”

 

“Shi-chan?  She’s fine.  She’s been staying at my home.”

 

That didn’t seem to help.

 

“I don’t know that I can say anything to ease your mind.  But we haven’t crossed that line as of yet.  If that’s a concern.”

 

Now that seemed to elicit a reaction.

 

“With that girl, you haven’t?”

 

I shake my head.

 

“Yesterday my Onee-chan who is staying with us in the house has been taking care of any needs she has.”

 

“She’s staying with your Onee-chan?”

 

“Un.  I mentioned to you that I wanted to date her properly.  I’m doing my best to stay true to those words.”

 

“Haah…”

 

“Normally she would at least text me.  Since she left, she hasn’t even once.  I even let her have her phone.”

 

“If it’s agreeable, I’ll make sure she contacts you.  Otherwise, I can say she has gone to a ‘circle’ today, if that means something to you?”

 

“Yes.  Okay.  She’s safe there at least.”

 

I sigh a bit.

 

“I don’t know about what I don’t know, but I do not want to be your enemy or hold animosity.  I don’t know what transpired on Sunday after I left, however I don’t believe she should have to choose anything over her family.”

 

Those words too struck home.

 

“You will bring her back?”

 

“That depends on you. I can ask her to, but is there a good reason I can use to convince her?  Whatever transpired was enough for her to tell me she cut ties with you.”

 

“...”

 

“That was because of you!”

 

“I won’t argue that, though for the life of me, I cannot understand why?”

 

…

 

She takes out a pack

 

“Mind?”

 

“Go ahead.”

 

suu~

 

“You are the Kouta from that time, right? It’s actually you?”

 

“That’s what she keeps telling me anyway.”

 

…

 

“The only thought in that idiot daughter’s head for the last couple years has been your name.”

 

“I have seen the result of that.” I state, thinking of the crazy things that girl has done.

 

“You are taking care of her? Truly?”

 

I nod.

 

“Me and my onee-chan are. Onee-chan bought her some clothes and incidentals, and we took her to an amusement park yesterday, where she had a great deal of fun.  A safe, friendly, chaperoned date.”

 

…

 

“Then another question.  About your parents…”

 

“Mother is out of the country for a while longer, and dad works at a black company and tends to be gone early and back very late.”

 

“Ryo hasn’t been untoward?”

 

…

 

“We had dinner together on Sunday. All four of us. He is unaware she is your daughter, nor will I tell him.  He expressed that I should be careful and upright around her, which I have been.  Furthermore, Onee-chan and I have rented an apartment nearby, so there should be no further need of concern involving either of my parents.  Your daughter will continue to be chaperoned by my Onee-chan.”

 

…

 

“You really Ryo’s kid?”

 

…

 

“I think we’re both shitty people, so probably, yeah.”

 

That got a chuckle out of her.

 

“You know, I loved him very much.”

 

I do a small table dogeza

 

“I’m terribly sorry for my father’s past actions that have caused you to suffer.”

 

..

 

“His own kid has to apologise before he does.”

 

puha~… suu~

 

“Fucking Ryo.”

 

She slammed a fist on the table again.

 

Her ashtray jumped.

 

Scary!

 

“Sorry.”

 

I wave it off.

 

“Kouta.  I can’t do anything for that wayward daughter of mine after all. You will take care of her, and bring her home to me from time so I can see she’s fine?”

 

“I would rather she make up with you, so I won’t have to.  But I will assure you, there is no one I want to care for more in the world right now than her. I’m not looking to change that, either.”

 

puuuuha~  suuuuuu~

 

“I’ll give you my trust for now then.  If it keeps her safe and happy.  I’ll entrust my daughter for now to the care of you and your Onee-chan.”

 

Really? Even though I am the child of those people who you despise?

 

I table dogeza again

 

“I will do my utmost to not betray the trust you have given me.”

 

…

 

She stubs it out.

 

I decide to extend a courtesy

 

“We have each other’s contact information, but would you like my Onee-chan’s as well?”

 

“That would be great.  Thank you.”

 

I input Kanae’s information into Shiho’s phone.

 

“If that’s all, I’ll be leaving.”

 

I get up and head to the door.

 

“Don’t be a stranger. If you are serious about her as you say, you might call me mother-in-law one day.”

 

“Then, Kaa-san, I’ll be off.”

 

“Good luck, kiddo.”

 

…

 

I have left the Nakada household with what amounts to a small blessing.

 

I don’t think mother ever showed that level of concern when Onee went off the deep end years ago.

 

I wonder what in the world caused dad to leave such a woman for mom...?  

 

ping!

 

[Nakada Shi-chan  (1)

 

I’m at the circle. I just wanted to text you so you work hard knowing I love you lots <3]

 

…

 

[To Nakada Shi-chan

 

I just visited your mama.  Will you at least text her and let her know you are safe?

 

She gave me permission to be your lover you know?  Don’t make me look bad.]

 

ping! sent!

 

…

 

[Nakada Shi-chan  (1)

 

I’ll call her afterwards, okay?]

 

…

 

ping!

 

[Nakada Shi-chan  (1)

 

Nacchan’s here too.  Want to do that 3p?]

 

…

 

I send her back a whole flood of eat shit emojis.

 

Looks like Wild Nakada-san is back.

 

I go back home and upstairs, where I have a mountain of work I need to get done before anything else unexpected happens.

 

(Secret 30:  Kouta once wondered if life would have been very different for Onee-chan and Himself if they had a concerned mother like Nakada Shiho.)

//Author:  Haven't slept in 2 days,  might be delusional right now.  Kouta deals with reality in 2 chapters.   Release might be later tonight.//

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