Chapter 64: Kouta and the calm before the storm.

When I woke up, I was holding on to Ruru, who was looking into my eyes, and giving me soft pecks on the lips.  Her black eyes were soft, and inviting.

Shi-chan was particularly right about one thing.

“Ready to start our new life together, Danna-sama.”

Ruru exists to heal me.

“Together with you, Precious Lily.”

Even now after all the trauma I suffered from yesterday, I feel satisfied just knowing I broke ties with Kanae and Dad.  

But as for Shi-chan.  I’m mad as can be, sure, but I also really want to know why.

Why did she do that?

Why would she think it was okay to do that to me?

Kanae… I would blame Kanae’s actions on mom, but somehow, I feel there is a personal responsibility she needs to accept for her own actions.

I’m not even saying maybe I wouldn’t have eventually crossed that line someday with her, down the road… but now?  After what she tried to pull?  I don’t even want to have anything to do with her anymore.

And that leads me back to Ruru.

Ruru, who has noticed my fists are clenched, my face is looking dangerous, and that I’m gritting my teeth.

So her soft hands touch my chest, and then they push me down onto the bed.

Ruru is going to take away my anger.

Ruru is going to absorb my sadness.

“Kouta… Tell me all the things you want to tell her.  Tell me with your mouth, and tell me with your body.”

Ruru climbs on top of me, and slides me inside of her.  She brings my hands to her breasts, and says to let it out, all my feelings on yesterday.

It’s strange at first.  I don’t want to do it.  It’s not Ruru’s fault.  Why should I punish her for Shi-chan’s mistake?

“I will shoulder your pain.”  she says.  “I’m a useless person otherwise, but I am an adult.  Let me ease just a bit of your anger and upset.  I’m able to that much, if nothing else.”

She reaches down and caresses my face before moving a finger across my lips.  

…

My hands suddenly grab as much of her chest as possible and squeeze tightly.  Then I start hammering away at her from below.

I open my mouth.

“Why?  Why?  It was perfect!  Everything was perfect!  I had you!  I had Ruru!  I’ve never known I could be so happy!  I even did my best to overlook your past because it was unfair to judge you on it…

But why?  Why did you think it was okay?  With dad… with anyone else there may have been?  I don’t want to share you!  I don’t want to share Ruru!  Just me.  Just share me!  I know it’s unfair…  I know it…

But... I love you… I love you...”

So, those were my feelings?  

They exist for Ruru and Nakada-san.

They still exist for Nakada-san...huh?

Do I want to break up with Shi-chan as I’ve been asked?

…

I don’t know!

Do I need a break from her?

I can’t ignore the fact that I do.

Something has happened, and it almost seems like it is all according to her plan. Because Ruru is here, and healing me right now, as Shi-chan would have wanted.

As I vent my feelings, I know I am harming Ruru.  Is it emotionally?  Is it physically?

Either way, I am a shitty person.

But it’s there.  My feelings which are all internal are about to become external into her womb.  In my last bit of anger flowing through my veins, I grab and twist her small bosom, and I see pain shoot through Ruru’s face, as I simultaneously let out all my frustration inside of her.

Pump after pump.

After my mind goes white, the clarity of what I had just done sinks in.

I gently roll with her sideways and cup her small frame into an embrace, as I free myself from inside of her and apologise profusely for what I have done.

The control I lost while she risked healing me. The feelings she wanted me to entrust her with, to rely on her to take from me, I gave her too painfully, I’m sure. 

“I’m… okay.  It’s good… because… even though you were mad... at her because you care… you didn’t forget me… and wanted me to know too… that you care.” she huffs out in multiple breaths.

I feel her body making small spasms, probably from where I injured her by grabbing so hard… is she crying?  I’m the big spoon to her little one.  I can only hold her and smell the scent of her hair.

Golden 8’s, non-menthol.

Bleh.  But still, it’s part of her scent, the rest is a womanly pheromone perhaps, because I feel like a husk of a man after this morning’s messed up romp. The rise i got out of her simply being here was enough.

I hold her carefully, after my violation of her, and keep apologizing until she gets fed up with me, and kicks me out of the bed.  She puts on minimal clothing and moves to the bathroom to clean up.  I dress myself and decide to look for my phone.

It has been turned off since Ruru showed up last night.

I have 51 messages.

1 is from him.

The rest…?

Yeah.  They are all from Shi-chan.

Skipping those, I open the one from Kawamura Ryohei.  Just for shits and giggles.  I want to know.  I want to know what bullshit excuse he has for touching her again.

[Dad   (1)

I can’t tell you nothing happened, Kouta, so if you wish to break your ties to me, that is fine.  But you should have taken her with you, since that’s the proper adult thing to have done.  I have failed to teach you that lesson, it seems.  For that I am truly sorry.  

Instead I will tell you what did happen. I broke the trust you had in me, because a beautiful girl came on to me all of a sudden, and I didn’t hate it.  However, I love your mother, Kouta.  I did not betray Reiko a second time.  You are free to believe what you wish.  My conscience is clear of it, and I forgive you and her for it.

Even though you have chosen your course in anger, it’s a parent’s duty to show their child there is always a path to forgiveness.  For themselves, and for others.

I think you should have a good long talk with Shi-chan, just you and her, and talk some things out.  If she’s anything like her mother, which I wish you would have told me about earlier, your world is about to flip upside down.

I understand one thing that you don’t right now, and that is where home is.  Home is with the people who care about you the most, even if their attempts are misguided.

It’s okay to be lost.  You are my son, and are always welcome here, when you need a place to be found once more.

Keep attending school, I will deposit your allowance.  If it helps you to have a goal to spite the father you think of as ‘such a shitty old man,’ then become greater than I am.  It should be easy to do, the bar to surpass me is low, and it will make us both proud.]

…

You are reading story Nakada-san To Ren’ai at novel35.com

Fucking shitty old man.

I read the message five times.

Some of it I understood, some of it was from a wisdom I neither care for, nor have yet acquired.

Just one single damning part in the whole message, that made me curse him back to the beginning of our bloodline.

‘You should have taken her with you.’

…

How could I?

How…  do you know how much strength it took, to even show up there.

To…

I fall to my knees.

I am in that position again.

The urge to vomit has come back.

My mouth is open and salivating.

I feel the bile churn in my stomach.

“Stop!!”  I scream aloud, the vision of what did or did not happen taking residence in my mind.

I manage to hold it in, but at the cost of having my knees to my chest, and laying on my left side, squirming back and forth on the ground.

It feels like forever.  Being in pain always does.  But, Ruru’s touch begins to calm me.  She asks me what’s wrong, and I show her the message.

She looks it over calmly, then turns the screen off.  She sits down on the floor, and makes a lap pillow for me.

I look up and I see her face upside-down looking down at me with a sweet smile.

I’ll be okay.

I can’t hurt her again… I need to get these feelings under control somehow.

“Ruru… there are messages from Shi-chan.  I can’t look, will you see…”

She closes her eyes and nods her acceptance of that task.

Ruru then picks up the smartphone and slides a finger to unlock my screen.  The picture clearly visible is one which hasn’t changed since I’ve added it. It’s the dakishimetai pose.  

I would like one of Ruru, like that… maybe not the same, but one that is personal to me, that can heal me when I see it.  I will ask her for it another time.

“Kouta, are you expecting something important in any of these messages?”

“Not really.  I just didn’t want to look at them.”

“It’s just as well, they just say one thing anyway, but it’s copy-pasted over and over…”

“What is?”

“The words ‘I stopped.’  for all fifty messages that’s all it says.”

…

She stopped?

Was that during or after the first part?

What about the second half, in the bedroom?

…

“Don’t bother replying.”  I say, still upset.

“I’ll reply when she says she’s sorry.”

Shiori turns the phone off, and sets it down next to me.

“What shall we do today, Kouta?’

…

What indeed?

“If you’ve got no plans, want to go on a date?”

A date?  

“Yeah, there’s a small group that does this art jam in this manga shop nearby on Sundays.  Shall we go?”

It’s the first time Ruru has suggested a proper date outside of our time at Akiba, which she has planned out almost as good as I do.  So I am only too happy to oblige her for something like a local date.  I want to show off my little sexy adult lover.

…

We are in Senpai’s house.  We head out of the bedroom, and find we are the last ones out.  Michio is looking drained, and Kimiko and Hiromi are sitting close to each other on the sofa, watching ‘Ultra Quiz.’  Kimiko is being teased for not getting any right.  Hiromi also seems to be no good either.

Michio is possibly dead, and may need an Elixir to recover from all the drain effects currently affecting him.

Ganbare, Senpai!

There are three beers on the table, soon a fourth as Ruru sits down. I found a cola in the fridge.  It was Hiromi’s but she said I could have it.  All five of us are watching the show.  Well maybe four.  Senpai might be undergoing conversion into an undead.  What did Hiromi do to him last night?

Sex with Min-Min… must be amazing!

Senpai once again is a hero to me.

“Kocchi!, Ruru!, we got good food coming, so sit with us and eat before you head out.” Kimiko says.

“I called my realtor.  She’s having a spare made, and it will be ready for Ruru to pick up later on, okay?  Stop by the Ishida realty place, and let her know who you are.  Okay?”

Believe it or not, these two are already quite drunk and it’s not even nine in the morning.  Hiromi is a habitual cleaner, even while drinking, so the evidence of how many beers have been drunk is a secret between these ladies and the trash can.

When the door knocks, it’s a delivery person with an entire breakfast set to feed six people.  We all fail hard at ‘Ultra Quiz’ and when the next one comes on, Kimiko raises the stakes.

“Every wrong answer, and you lose an article of clothing.  Every right answer you can pick someone to lose an article of clothing.  What do you think?” 

Hiromi tosses back the rest of her current can.

“Sounds fun.”

“Kocchi? Ruru? You game?”

“...”

“Let’s play, Kouta-kun.  It’s just a game, right? We'll go on our date right after.”

And so we began a game, that should never have happened...

(Secret 55:  Kouta is unaware of it, but Ruru can easily outdrink Hiromi and Kii-chan without even trying.)

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