Japan in October has the best weather. It's in the Goldilocks zone, not too hot, but not too cold, just right. You can really start seeing autumn with the leaf's on the trees slowly changing to a warmer color and quietly falling onto the floor.
I've been living in Japan for half a year now and working at Cherī cherī for two months. Even though I don't want to admit it, I guess Hinata and I have been "dating" for almost a month. At least that's what he keeps saying. It's been pretty casual for the most part, but he definitely doesn't hide it while we're working. He hasn't stopped talking to me less and he blatantly flirts with me in front of the girls. The hostesses don't say much to me anymore, I don't know if that's because I'm dating Hinata, which technically he's their boss, but he's also my boss too. I think that maybe they think he gives me special treatment, which he doesn't. I still have to work the days I'm scheduled and I don't leave until I'm off. Even Cho has been less quiet around me, until one day when it was just us two in the back, she started up a conversation.
"Tabi-san, are you busy after work?"
"Uh, no. I mean it'll be a bit late, but I'm not busy."
"Let's go to an izakaya after we're off. Just me and you." I felt like I had no choice in this matter, so I agreed to it. Now I had to figure out how to tell Hinata this because he was usually my ride home. Before we started dating, I would just take a ride share since most of the stations were already closed by the time I was off. I never asked him to give me a ride in the first place, but he insisted since we're dating that he would feel better about it.
Hinata was out in the back alley smoking with Todoroki. I must've interrupted something important when I opened the door, because both of them suddenly got silent.
"Hey, sorry! Is this a bad time?"
Hinata smiled, "Of course not Tabitha. Do you need something?"
Todoroki stood there looking down at his phone, not leaving anytime soon.
"I-I just wanted to let you know I'm going out with Cho after work."
"Oh?" Hinata's expression changed to a surprise look, one that I hadn't seen before.
"Yeah, ummm, I think she just wants to hang out. We haven't had girl time in a while."
"How are you getting home?" Hinata said this with such a serious tone, it kind of startled me.
"I'll just take a ride share." Hinata stared me down, quietly, and that scared me a bit. The air felt so still, I didn't know what Hinata was going to say next. It almost felt like he wanted me to cancel my plans. I felt the back of my neck getting hot, why was he doing this? Suddenly he spoke up, "That's fine. Can you just keep me updated please?" And just like that, his expression changed back to a smile, but not his usual eye smile. This felt more forced. After that odd confrontation with Hinata, I shut the back door so that they could continue whatever they were doing before. I didn't want to look into it too much on why he was acting that way, maybe he's just being protective. I quickly shook my head, as if doing so would get rid of the thoughts faster.
Later on, once the club closed down around 1:00 a.m., Cho and I met in the front of the building. We started walking in sync, without saying a word to each other. I didn't want it to be like this between us, and I want to believe she felt the same way, and still, that 6 minute walk felt like a lifetime. We arrived at the izakaya, it was well hidden due to the fact that it was inside a building with other restaurants and bars. We walked inside and took our seats, the server greeted Cho and asked her where the other girls were at? I'm assuming they all must come here frequently after work. Cho had ordered a rather large meal, grilled rice cake with a small bottle of Asahi. I wasn't very hungry, and honestly I didn't want to eat, but I did not want to be rude either. I picked the first thing I saw on the menu which was, pork ginger-grilled koppe with a small bottle of Asahi as well. Since there weren't that many people inside, The waiter was able to get our drinks quickly, and informed us it would be about 15 minutes for the food.
Cho and I sat there sipping on our beer, not saying much to one another. After what felt like an eternity, Cho finally spoke up.
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"So, are you and Hinata dating?"
"Wow, you're just getting straight to the point huh?"
"I don't mean to sound rude. It's just... A lot of the girls have been talking about it at work. I wanted to see how you were handling it." I can't believe she's bringing this up! After how long has it been since she talked to me? I didn't want my annoyance to show, but I couldn't hold it in.
"You and the girls at work decide to ostracize me after I start dating Hinata, and now you want to be buddies again? And what exactly do you mean by 'handling it'?"
"Dewa shiranai ndesu ka?"
"What do you mean I don't know...? I guess not because I'm kind of lost here!"
"Hinata is part of the Yakuza!" Cho shouted this louder than she wanted to, because she slightly lowered her head down, as if afraid someone might've heard her.
"The Yakuza? You're joking, right? I mean I know there's all those rumors about Yakuza stuff going on arou-"
"Those aren't rumors! And you should really be careful with him! With any of the Yakuza!" I sat there, stunned by what I was hearing. I didn't know what to say with all this information that was given to me. I started to feel panicky, but I wanted to keep my cool in front of Cho. Cho spoke up again, "You know that necklace you always wear? The one you're wearing right now. I know you don't really talk about it, but you are married once, right?" Oh no... What is she talking about now? "When I used to come to your house, to get my makeup done, there was one time where you had a phone call and you left the room. You took longer than expected so I started walking around your place. Most of your stuff is still in boxes and there was one that stuck out to me. It looked like it had been opened and closed numerous times..." Please stop talking Cho! I could feel my heartbeat pounding, like it was going to be ripped out of my chest. "... I found a picture of you and another guy. You looked so happy. I just don't want to see you get hurt, Tabi-san!" Anything Cho said after that became muffled sounding. I didn't want to hear this! My palms were sweating and I felt nauseous, like I was going to start dry heaving. Please stop talking. Please stop talking. Please stop talking. "PLEASE STOP TALKING!"
Everything became quiet at once. I looked around me and realized I had said that out loud. "Why did you go through my stuff?" I mumbled.
"I'm sorry Tabi-san! I was just curious and you never talk about anyth-"
"Exactly! I don't talk about things for a reason and you don't go through other people's stuff! I don't care if he's part of the Yakuza! I know maybe you didn't think this, but I thought we might have been friends except friends don't do this shit!" I reached into my purse and grabbed what cash I had and threw it onto the table. "Here's the fucking money for dinner!" I got up and started running towards the door, I could hear Cho calling for me, but I did not bother turning around.
I needed to get out of this area. I needed to run, so I started running. I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't care. Why did she bring that up? Why did she go through my stuff? If she had just told me then, or maybe talked to me sooner. I'm not the bad person here and I reacted within reason. I don't care that he's part of the Yakuza. I'm not a bad person. I wanted to be friends with her. She's the only person that actually talked to me before I met Hinata. I just want to be happy again. I kept having to wipe my eyes while running because the tears kept coming. I want to die right now. I couldn't run any longer and so I collapsed. I don't know where I'm at, but it feels like I'm laying in grass. I went into the fetal position, clenching my chest. I laid there, for I don't know how long. I couldn't do anything, I couldn't move or talk.
Suddenly, I felt arms around me, lifting me up from the grass. I didn't look up, but I recognized the scent. It smelled like Hinata. I wonder if he was the one carrying me right now. I think I saw his mouth moving, except nothing was coming out, no noise at all. I nestled my face into his chest, and hoped that this bad dream would soon go away.
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