Chapter 1: The Once Prince- Painful Beginnings

Chapter I-The Once Prince    

I stood at my window looking out over the sea-swept cliffs that framed the castle where I lived. I would call it home, but that would be too generous a term for it. I was born Prince Varin Regold the third. My proud father and mother had taken me all over the kingdom as a child to be seen as the heir to the throne. The next king. This was eighteen years ago. Since then, much had changed, or rather became more apparent. I was never invested in the toy swords and soldiers my father had lavished upon me. The ways of war and power held no value or interest to me. Instead, I was drawn to art, song, and the written word. Fashion even, when I could get away with it. My father did not approve of my choices in fashion. If only he knew that I was more drawn to women’s dresses than any form of men’s fashion. There were many things about women I wished for, mainly the fact to be one of them.

           It was on my fifteenth birthday when I spoke with a traveling minstrel after a feast that I learned what I was. A woman who was born a man, transgender as the minstrel said. A word I had not known and that was not known much in our lands. Apparently, it was more commonly known in the Empire of the Eternal night to the south. In our smaller kingdom separated by great mountain ranges and thick forests from other lands, it was far less known, even less accepted. 

           I remembered I had broached the topic once with my father, I asked him what he thought of such individuals. I still wince inside when I remembered his response.

           “Degenerates, abominations, twisted men who prey on the innocent, condemned by the almighty Viroi himself!” He had announced before the entire court. My mother had nodded her agreement and clutched her symbol of Viroi while his attendants all loudly agreed.

           A defiant part of me had wanted to speak out at that moment, to proclaim myself as one of those individuals. To ask him why he only spoke of those born in men’s bodies, why he did not speak of those born as women or those who were neither. Instead, I had put on my stoic court face and retreated inside myself. I was locked within a body that was not mine. I returned later to my room and cried until my tears ran out. To wonder if he would feel the same if his own flesh and blood were one of those trapped women. To know that he would. 

           That was two years ago and now it was my eighteenth birthday. I would be crowned heir apparent today as I had completed all of my scholarly and manly feats required of a king. I had learned strategy, swordsmanship, archery, court etiquette, and so much more. I had hated it all with a burning passion. I had cried so much at the life I was forced into, countless nights I spent cursing Viroi to have condemned me to such a cruel fate. 

           I looked down for the hundredth time at the two outfits on my bed. Once was my princely regalia, complete with golden adornments, the second was a simple white dress I had bought in secret while disguised from a traveling merchant. I once again touched the dress reverently as one might touch the statue of their god. With a sadness so heavy it weighed down my entire being, I placed the dress in the bottom of my dresser, covered it with my undergarments, and donned the hated clothes. 

           I left my bedroom and my bodyguard, Sir Xati, followed in silence. He was a good and loyal fellow. We often had spent days discussing things and I had thought about revealing my secret to him. In the end, I decided against it, like I always did. I cursed myself for my cowardice.

           I paused for a moment and looked out the window over the crowded forests to the high mountains, once again wishing for wings so I might soar over them to freedom.

           “You look like you’d like to fly away my prince,” Xati commented in his soft and rough voice.

           I smiled, “Am I so easy to read?” 

           “On days like this, yes,” Xati responded.

           I sighed and continued my walk, he was right. I was easy to read first thing in the morning before I was forced into my princely mask. As we descended the stairs to the throne room, I felt that mask slip into place. A mask that all liked and loved. All praised me for having, my royal ability, and my natural talents. A mask that made me sick to wear and crushed my spirit. 

           I stepped into the throne room and my father was in deep conversation with Captain Carce of the guards.

           “Father!” I called out, “No happy birthday for your favorite son?” I was surprised every day that the word did not catch in my throat.

           He looked up and smiled broadly at me, “Favorite son? More like only son!” He wrapped me in a bear hug, “Not that I would trade you for any other son.”

           I did my best to smile at those words despite how they felt like arrows piercing my heart.

           “What is with the long face Varin?” King Portis asked, “Nervous about the ceremonies today?”

           “It is a big day today father,” I answered and shored up my flagging smile. “I am not certain I am ready.”

           “You are more ready than I was son,” He informed me as we began to walk to the courtyard, “Your skill and talents already far outstrip where I was at when I was your age. And I have a surprise to cement your coming rule.”

           “Oh?” I asked as the guards opened the heavy doors.

           “Indeed, you will begin your rule with a judgment!” He announced and the doors swung wide revealing a woman cowering in a wheeled cage that was reserved for criminals.

           “Father, what is this?” I asked slowly. The witch trials had been before even his grandfather’s time. While not progressive it was not like him to bring up those kinds of things. He did not believe in magic, but he did not persecute it either. “The witch trials ended over a century ago.”

           He scoffed, “It is not a witch boy. Look!” 

           I looked down and could not see anything, “All I see is a frightened woman, father. Surely if this was theft or murder the ealderman of her village would have handled it. Is it treason?” I frowned, while a kingdom my father had been a mostly fair ruler and kept the nobles from getting out of hand so the peasantry was fond of him. I could not see the possibility of rebellion, maybe a spy then.

           Father looked at me with an odd look, “You cannot tell?”

           I sighed and did what any prince should do, I walked directly to the cage to ask the woman herself. I knocked on the bars almost politely, “Madam, my father is being a bit difficult today. Could you tell me the crime you were charged with?”

           She turned and faced me, the surprise was evident on her features as her green eyes seemed to stare into my soul itself, and a form of recognition formed on her face, “My only crime milord is being who I am.”

           I turned back to my father with narrowed eyes, “Father you said she wasn’t a witch. I understand your worship of Viroi, but I do not agree with the trials.”

           My father laughed, “My son! Are you blind?! Can you not see that is no woman?!”

           Even the guards joined in laughing as the stone that always sat in my stomach grew heavier.

           He joined me at the cart and spat at the woman, “You will be in charge of judging this man.” He spat the word at the woman, “After the banquet.”

           I tried to calm my panic and somehow kept my mask in place, “Father I understand our family’s stance is that you do not agree with these individuals, but who does it harm what a person dresses as or how they address themselves. I see no crime here. No law of the land has been broken.” My voice was even-keeled and I leaned casually upon the wall. I knew I was right; I had poured over legal texts for ages looking for any indication of mentions of people like me. There were none.

           My father whirled back to face me as he walked up the steps, “You are right my son, no law of the land has been broken.” His face was darkening with anger, “However this abomination has violated the laws of Viroi and that will not be tolerated, not in my kingdom. This thing will be judged appropriately.”

           I swallowed my immediate disagreement knowing father would sentence her that moment if I defied him in front of his men.

           “I knew I should have had you at the chapel more.” He grumbled.

           I bowed low, “I will go and review the sacred texts if that would please you father so that I may judge fairly.”

           He stopped and gave me another odd look, “I wish you would judge more from your heart, but go I respect your diligence. Do not be late for the banquet.”

           I did my best to walk at a reasonable pace away as I fumed inside, he really did not want me to do that. Otherwise, my ruling would end up with a disgraced heir. 

           Once we were far enough away Xati spoke, “Your father angered you.” It was not a question.

           I stopped and exhaled, I had to choose my words carefully here in the castle there were always ears. “I respect my father’s devotion to Viroi and the values therein, but I feel it should not apply to all as the laws of the land do as no actual crime has been committed. As my father is the king, I will respect his wishes.” I continued walking.

           “So you’re telling me we are not going to kick the priest out of his office so you can scour the holy tomes for any justification to allow this woman to go free? Or am I reading your intention completely wrong?” Xati asked conversationally.

           I stood up like a bolt of lightning had hit me, “Xati,” I said carefully, “I would never directly defy my father, do you understand?”

           I heard a snort under the helmet, “I most certainly do my prince.”

           I scowled and almost stormed off. I could not be that easily seen through. The scowl helped though when I did exactly as Xati predicted. I immediately kicked the priest out of his office, which was far too lavishly decorated in my opinion and began to study the texts. I had long avoided the texts because of their highly puritanical nature. I thought they had no laws in place or anything beyond those who directly worshipped Viroi. Now I was learning it with the intent of saving a woman’s life. I skimmed over many laws and hissed often at the punishments described for minor offenses. The texts themselves rankled my sensibilities, they attempted to ordain the natural order of things to fit everyone into nice little boxes and I hated it. Despite my distaste, I kept reading and making notes on a small sheet of paper. Finally, the time came for the banquet and I stuffed the notes in my tunic and went to the banquet hall. 

           Xati and I arrived in the middle of a full-on sermon by the priest on the evils of the flesh. I hissed when I saw the woman had been brought in and chained to the floor as a display piece for his sermon as nobles jeered and threw bits of food at her. I saw the tears staining her cheeks and rage-filled me. I should have gone to my father’s side and listened to the remainder of the sermon and then pronounced my judgment.

           “Father!” I bellowed into the room. All eyes stopped and turned towards me. I felt the weight of their gazes and walked into the middle of the room next to the priest, “I was under the impression it was my responsibility to pronounce judgment on the prisoner?” I called out.

           My father’s brow furrowed and he looked at me with a quizzical look, “Yes my son, it is your judgment to make.”

           “Then father why is the priest here lamenting against the evils of this prisoner, proclaiming judgment on them?” I refused to call this woman a man. “Is the word of a priest higher than the word of the crown?”

           Then the priest made an error, “The word of Viroi supersedes all!” He announced, almost gleefully, “Viroi’s law is above any word of man, king, or noble.” The priest turned and glowered at me in victory, “Even the crown bows to Viroi!”

           This was a mistake on a couple levels, number one the priest was claiming to have authority above my father, my father detested challenges to his power. Secondly, the priest had challenged the authority of my father’s family, something else my father absolutely hated.

           I crossed my arms and looked at my father, “Is this true father? Do I need to bend a knee to a man of the cloth now?”

           My father stood up and his face was a dark red indicating his anger, “That is a good question son, tell me priest should I come over there and bend my knee to you?”

           The priest’s smile faded, “No my lord that is not what I said.”

           “I may bow to my god, but I will not yield to a mortal man.” My father said stepping from around the table, “And you certainly will not demand my son, the heir to my throne, bow before you.”

           The priest swallowed nervously, “But the prince is not pledged to Viroi-”

           “And that is his choice and right as a royal!” My father thundered, “I may not agree with my son’s beliefs, but it will be a bright day in the underworld when I make him subservient to a mere priest!”

           The priest simply bowed his head and backed away.

           My father turned to me, “Make your judgment son, the full weight of the crown is behind you.”

           I fought back a sigh of relief, no matter what I proclaimed now, my father would honor it. I had to make it good though. I fought the urge to look at the woman kneeling there though I could feel her eyes upon me.

           “Your majesty, brothers, and sisters of nobility,” I called out to the assembled court, “and the common man, we are gathered here in celebration. Celebration of my father’s appointment of myself to be the heir of the throne.” I bowed my head to my father, “This is a great honor and responsibility to be worthy of my father’s trust.” 

           I saw him practically preen at my words.

           “My father has ruled for over twenty years over you, and in that time not one of you has found reason to declare him unfair or unjust. His belief in the god Viroi while honored, he never imposed on you. Many of you turned to this god out of my father’s example. I do not follow this god though, and I do not see myself following this god, especially after his priest’s example today.” I declared and saw the nobility murmuring and nodding, “Today this priest declared that his authority was over all of us, that he had some claim to authority that was not his to claim.” I continued.

           The priest was fuming off to the side, but it was no matter. The nobles and my father were listening to my words and nodding in agreement. “I spent the entire day up until this point researching and learning the laws of Viroi in regards to this case out of respect for my father. For I have learned the laws of the land intimately as you all are aware but was blind to the laws of Viroi.” I spared a glance at the woman who was watching me warily. I immediately looked back to my father, “Concerning my father and his intentions I would like to show the same grace that has been shown to me.”

           My father cocked his head but nodded. That was enough for me.

           “With his blessing, I will not enforce the laws or beliefs of Viroi. It shall be up to each man, woman, and child to decide their beliefs. Should they follow the laws and codes of Viroi that shall be their choice, but it is by the grace of the crown that they should not be forced to follow the religion of another! For we are blessed by the rule of my gracious father!” I announced, “And were we to enforce the law of Viroi, I have to say that tonight’s menu would look a lot thinner.” I added with a wry smile.

           My father looked surprised and pleased at the same moment as the nobles made sounds of immediate agreement.

           “So it is with this grace I will not enforce the laws of Viroi this night.” I turned to the woman. “Prisoner stand so you may receive the crown’s judgment.”

           She stood and looked at me. 

           “Prisoner, have you ever taken what is not rightfully yours?” I asked.

           She shook her head, “No my lord, unless you count taking sweets from my mother’s oven.” She answered in a soft voice.

           I smiled, “A crime I think we have all been guilty of!” I announced with a laugh that many joined in. “Have you ever killed someone?”

           Again she shook her head, “No my lord, I have never raised a hand against any even though hands have been raised against me.”

           I felt the weight in my stomach increase at her statement of being assaulted, “To be clear then, you have never harmed another?”

           “No my lord.” She shook her head, “I simply wish to live a quiet life.”

           I nodded and looked back to the room, “Does any have charges they wish to bring against the prisoner? Accusations contrary to their claims?”

           The priest chose this moment to speak, “He is an abomination to Viroi! That is enough we cannot allow this taint of evil to spread! You must condemn him to the fire!” 

           I was across the room and my fist flew out and caught the priest in the nose, shattering it. He stumbled back and fell on his butt. I did not stop, I kicked out savagely into his ribs. A slight crack was heard in the now silent room as his ribs gave way to the kick. I may have let out years of repressed rage at that moment, but I stilled myself and instead placed my foot on his chest and pressed down silencing his whimpers of pain. “To be clear priest, you have no authority here beyond that which my father and the crown grant you. You do not dare to tell me what I must do. Do you understand?” I instructed loud enough for all to hear. I let off enough of my weight for him to speak.

           “You dare strike-” He wheezed.

           I reapplied pressure on his right side where the cracked or broken rib was now. 

           He whimpered in response.

           “Father,” I called out, “What is the punishment for treason to the throne?”

           “Death by hanging.” His voice was colored with rage.

           “Is it treason to threaten the crown?” I asked almost nonchalantly watching the priest pale.

           “It can be indeed.” He responded.

           “My father will judge you, priest,” I stated loudly, “But know if you speak up again with how the crown must obey you, I will administer the sentence with my bare hands.” I smiled wickedly that was in no way forced as my repressed feelings trickled out. “And I may just enjoy myself.” I took my foot off his chest and turned my back to him. 

           I pulled out a cloth handkerchief from my pocket and wiped my hand clean of the blood before tossing it in a brazier. “Now does anyone have any legitimate crimes the prisoner has been accused of?” I asked the room of silent noblemen. I took the moment to gauge reactions. The reactions ranged from horrified to respect and approval. I caught my father’s eye and he was practically beaming. The silence continued to reign.

           “Lords and Ladies!” I called out, “Please answer me, are there any other crimes the prisoner is accused of?”

           “No!” came the reply.

           I strode over to the shocked jailer and retrieved the key from his shocked hand and with no small amount of satisfaction removed her manacles, letting them fall to the floor with a clang.

           “Then this is an innocent woman!” I said watching a smile blossom on her face, “There are no laws in this land stating someone cannot live as the person that they are.” I turned to face everyone, “As such my only proclamation is that she is innocent. I think the crown can respect the happiness and well-being of an individual.” I looked with an evil smile at the priest who looked on in shock, “Do any object to this woman living out her days peacefully?”

           Duke Charon was the first to speak. A rotund man with a beard to hide the softness of his chin. A weak man as my father would say often in disgust. “But he’s a man! He was born a man!”

           “And you were once skinny Duke Charon.” I responded earning a chuckle from the assorted lords, “Life moves on and it costs the crown and assembled nobility nothing to grant any under their rule this small kindness. We all change from birth to adulthood, why there was a time many said I would never pick up a sword. Now, look where we are.”

           I looked back to the woman, “M’lady what is your name?”

           “Amara,” She answered with tears in her eyes. “Amara tonight you dine with my family.” I looked over at the priest and turned to Xati, “I want him out of my father’s castle.” Xati bowed and I could have sworn I heard a smile in his voice, “As you command my prince.”

           I led Amara to my family’s table as the servants brought up a chair.

           My father leaned back looking at me with a questioning look as I took my place to his right with Amara beside me.

           “Son, you handled tonight spectacularly,” He drained a glass of wine, “Even though I have some objections regarding your decisions, you handled everything masterfully, even that dastardly little priest.” He glowered in the direction that Xati had dragged off the priest. “I cannot believe him assuming he had authority over us.”

           With a shaking hand I sipped at a glass of wine, “In many of the books I have read, this tends to be a trend with religious individuals, they seek to impose their will on the crown and use royals as puppets for their end goals. It seems this is more than a little true.”

           He nodded, “Your wisdom astounds me, son, I still revere Viroi. But you have raised many things to be considered.” My father looked pointedly at Amara, “Now explain your decision to have,” He looked like he was strangling words, “The former prisoner dine with us.”

           “Simple,” I answered trying to lean back and appear unconcerned, “First is compassion, she has spent the gods only know how long in a cage and then in a cell only to be heckled by the assembled nobility. At the very least she deserves a good meal. Secondly to reinforce my decision against any who would act against her.”

           My father nodded, “Wisdom again.” He sighed, “I still don’t agree with it.”

           I looked at him and decided to press my luck, “Father I know your beliefs and discomfort revolve around Viroi’s word as taught by the priests. But I do not understand your reluctance to allow someone to be who they truly are.”

           He grumbled and tore savagely into a roasted chicken leg, “It is not natural.”

           I sighed and picked at the biscuit, “Father, you are insulting a guest.”

           He paused and sighed setting down the chicken leg and for the first time he actually looked at Amara. “My apologies, your kind unsettle me and I do not understand it.”

           Then Amara spoke and I fought the urge to panic at her words, “Your majesties, may I speak plainly for I a simple woman and know not how to phrase things to be pleasant to the ears.” She did not meet anyone’s eyes which was wise as my father seemed to prickle at her voice. Then he surprised me.

           “Go ahead.” He sat back and looked at her, “I respect your request and the danger you court.”

           She inhaled and I saw her hands were shaking, “I was born into a body I hated with a passion. I hated waking up in it, I hated looking at myself in the mirror, I hated being alive and almost ended my own life multiple times.” She looked up and off into the distance, “I had the fortune of meeting a wise woman who helped me learn who I was. She taught me herbs and remedies that helped changed my body into what it is now. I told my family excited about the fact I actually had a future now. I was kicked out and lost everything as I was declared an abomination.” A tear dropped down her face, “I went back to the wise woman and she taught me all she could, how to mend and aid those in need. It was these skills I practiced, that I became an accomplished healer, I never stopped traveling lest someone learn the circumstances of my birth.”

           My father was watching her carefully, “Go on.”

           Then one day I was called to a village to help their village leader, a priest of Viroi. I knew the danger as these priests often burn those like me, but I always sought to heal others. So I went and tended to him. He was deathly ill, but my remedies saved him.” She looked down at her hands, “One day while I was bathing, he opened the door to try and bed me, but he saw what no number of remedies and herbs could change. He dragged me out naked before the townsfolk to be spat upon and mocked just as your priest did here.”

           My father looked uncomfortable.

           “But unlike here, none came to my aid. Not the woodcutter whose leg I saved, not the baker whose burns I treated, not the seamstress whose children had fallen ill that I helped recover.” Amara looked at my father in his eyes, “Under your rule, I have been condemned to a fate worse than death because of the beliefs held by you and others. As I sat in front of you having food and wine thrown at me, as I was mocked, I prayed that my death would come quickly, that it would be the ax and not the fire. For what other mercy could I hope for?”

           My father was in shock and she continued.

           “For you sat here beside your wife smiling at my humiliation and laughing as they mocked me. As they cursed me and called me names most terrible. Then you sit here after your noble son did what you would not and stood up for his people, and you act as if you were an unwilling observer.”

           “Caution.” My father hissed.

           “I hear your warning and ignore it,” Amara spat, “May I be condemned to death for speaking the truth that the king is a coward who mocked a woman whose only crime was healing a lecher who had the power to judge her. You sat here and mocked me, insulted me, humiliated me, what was it you proposed; letting the bulls in the fields have their way with me for I was such an abomination? And now you sit here acting like you only disagreed with my existence.”

           I looked at my father in horror that he would even propose such a thing.

           “ENOUGH!” He bellowed, “I will not be criticized for such a thing!” My mother was clutching at his arm.

           I stood in front of Amara, “Father, is it true?” I asked in a low tone staring into the blue eyes I shared with him.

           “Sit down!” He growled at me. 

           “ANSWER ME!” I bellowed back my rage coming free. “Did you propose such a cursed thing to this woman?”

           “It’s not a woman!” He snarled.

           “She is.” I hissed back.

           “It has a fucking cock between his legs!” He yelled.

           “It is not a cock that makes a man!” I yelled back, “At least that's what you told me! It is their measure and nobility in the way they conduct themselves, that it would be a curse should a cock be the only requirement of being a man!” Then I spoke softer, “Or perhaps you have forgotten your many lectures to me?” I glared at him, “Now answer me father, did you or did you not say such a thing?”

           He snorted, “So what if I did? It is an abomination, animals are the only things fit to bed such a creature. He altered his body and is no longer a man or woman. An abomination before all. A creature representing the evil in the world.”

           I felt my fist clench and a gentle hand close around it keeping me from swinging. “She is not an abomination!” I hissed. “You are just a fool, blind and cruel.”

           “Watch your tongue boy!” My father said stepping close to me. 

           “Or what father?” I shot back, “Will you have the animals of the field rape me too?”

           He took a step back, “Of course not! I will-”

           “Is this a now ordained punishment of our kingdom? As the king has suggested it?” I interrupted him. “Are we so lost in the light of the gods we would do this to any of our people?”

           “No! But that is not a person!” He yelled pointing at Amara.

           I struck his hand down to the gasps of the court. “She is an innocent woman, as judged by the crown or do you overturn my decision. Your heir’s decision.”

           “I am considering it.” He growled, “I am rethinking several of my decisions.”

           “You think to threaten me with a crown I never wanted?” I retorted with a sharp laugh.

           “Son…”

           “I do not think you are my father, the same father who preached noble conduct in all things, to show mercy and kindness, no that man would never say such a horrible and cruel thing, an evil in the light of all the gods.”

           He purpled in rage, “You do not get to judge me!”

           “If not me then who?!” I felt my own face coloring, “You sit here and mock a woman for gods only know how many hours while I try and learn the laws of your damned religion to save her. You threaten her with a cursed act and then you try to defend it to my face!”

           “IT IS AN ABOMINATION!” He screamed, “It knows neither the light nor mercy of the gods!”

           “Am I the same then?” I asked quietly.

           “What?” He paused in shock.

           “If I was to tell you I was the same, would you chain me to the floor, mock me, humiliate me, and propose such a cursed thing be done to me?” I asked in a soft voice.

           “But you are not!” He hissed, “This is not a real question or argument.

           “Well, you better think of an answer father,” I stated.

           I heard a soft gasp behind me, followed by an almost silent, “oh no.”

           “What do you mean boy?” He growled dangerously. 

           “I am the same as she is.” I said looking him dead in the eyes, “I always have been. So answer the question father.”

           He paled, “You are not!”

            “But I am!” I announced, “What she describes, I have felt my every waking moment since I was a child.”

           “YOU LIE!” He screamed at me.

           “Do I father?” I laughed despairingly. “All here know my distaste for all manly activities, many have mocked me for it. Everything I learned was to appease you. I put aside my brushes, my songs, and my pen for you. And you know this!”

           “SILENCE!” He bellowed, “EVERYONE OUT!” He commanded.

           The hall quickly emptied leaving just Xati, Amara, and my family alone amongst my father’s echoes.

           The rage he was directing at me could have withered some, but I was beyond caring, I was too tired of living a lie while he said and did such horrible things.

           His face was white with anger and his lips were in a tight line. “Boy, you dare mock me so?”

           “Is it mockery to tell the truth father, that your son you have forced so many manly things upon is actually a woman trapped in a body she hates and considers throwing herself off the battlements every day?” I asked hotly.

           “Silence yourself,” He commanded.

           “Or what father? You will do to me as you have done to her?” I snarled.

           “Go to your room!” He bellowed, “I will hear no more of this madness, and I expect a formal apology from you in the morning!”

           “There will be none, your majesty.” I retorted and bowed sarcastically. I turned to Xati, “Xati, see to it that Amara reaches safety, protect her life as you would my own.” I prayed Xati would listen to me.

           He bowed low and clasped his fist to his chest with a gauntlet. “It will be as you command.” I heard nothing but respect in his voice. “This way m’lady,” Xati said as he took Amara’s hand and lead her away.

           I waited until they had left the chamber before I pivoted and showed my father my back. It was a great insult to a king and we both knew it. 

           A fist crashed into the back of my head and I sprawled out on the carpet and tried to roll to my feet. Two more blows crashed into my face. My father was no slouch when it came to combat and it showed in his heavy blows. He stood and shook my blood from his fists.

           I staggered to my feet, “The true king’s face has been shown.” I said with a slight lisp from my busted lip. I turned again and walked out. I expected another blow to rain down on me, but there was none.

           I walked in silence past guards who gave me strange looks, some with respect, some with disgust. I reached my chambers and opened the door and shut it behind me. I dropped the heavy bar over the door to prevent being disturbed and sat down on my bed. Despite the many consequences that were coming for me, I felt freer than I had in a long time. The truth was out and I did not have to lie anymore to anyone. Everyone knew and it was out in the open. 

           I stripped out of my clothes and put on a loose shirt before going to my window. My room was high up towards the back of the castle, if I threw myself from here, I would be dead immediately upon impact. I sat in the window instead. The sea breeze tousled my hair which was now freed from the restrictive ponytail I had put it in daily to maintain some semblance of a manly hairstyle. I just let the brown hair blow around me as I grew lost in thought. 

           There was a knock at the door that broke me from my contemplation. I got off of my perch and went to the door. “Who is it?” I called out in a sing-song voice.

           “It is Xati, I am alone.” Xati’s familiar voice rang out.

           There was a chance my father had forced him to come to get me out, but that is a chance I would take with my only friend. I lifted the heavy bar and opened the door. Xati stood there covered in his plate armor that now had some blood splattered across the chest.

           I felt a growing pit in my stomach, “Xati?” I asked with concern in my voice.

           “Do not worry my princess, your command has been carried out. Amara is safely away from the castle though your father sent some men to see to it that she was not.” He informed me.

           I sighed in relief, “Maybe she will be able to flee the kingdom safely.” Then his words of address stopped me cold. “Xati what did you call me?”

           “Princess, m’lady,” Xati said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

           I felt my heart jump slightly as a happy feeling filled me, “Thank you Xati.” I sank down at the desk to my writing chair as Xati resecured the door and used one of my discarded prince clothes to wipe the blood from his armor.

           “What now m’lady?” Asked Xati as he walked up to me.

           I shrugged, “I wait.” There was no telling what my father would do to me. I looked to my loyal Xati who stood there with his hand on his sword. I knew what I had to do.

           “Xati you have obeyed my every command since you were assigned to me.” I took a deep breath, “I have one more for you.”

           “Princess-” He started.

           I held up my hand, “It is my last command to you. I do not know what my father will do once his temper has calmed.” I pointed at my swollen face, “But since he struck me, I am fairly certain it will not go well for me. He will seek to use anything I hold dear to hurt me and force me to bend to his will and all I have now is my defiance.” I smiled sadly, “My last command is for you to flee the kingdom. Find a home somewhere, and have a family. You are released from all bonds to my family and to me. Find happiness.”

           They took off their helmet showing a face scarred with combat and a short goatee. Their hazel eyes blazing in defiance. “M’Lady. I cannot obey this.”

           “You can and you will. It would hurt my heart to see my lone friend in this world harmed by my spiteful father. If I flee, he will mobilize every knight and soldier to find me. If it is just you, he will curse my name, but you will be safe.” I cupped his face, “Will you obey your princess’s last command?”

           Tears gathered at the corner of his eyes, “Yes m’lady. Your bravery will not be forgotten, but I have one last request.”

           “Speak it,” I said with a smile.

           “Will you tell me your name?” He asked.

           I smiled, it was something I had thought a lot about, “Verity, it means truth.”

           His smile though sad was like a sunbeam, “It suits you well, I will tell many stories of you, Princess Verity.” He stood and for a moment I thought he would refuse to leave. Then he did.

           I resecured the door and laid back in my bed to wait. 

           It took three days before my father came for me. Much longer than I would have thought. They knocked at first telling me they were here to escort Prince Varin to my father. I delighted in telling them there was none by that name here. Their asking turned to commands. Commands that I outright ignored with a smile. Then they tried to bash my door down, the heavy bar defeated them though. Then they used axes to chop down my door. It took them most of the day. I had put on a pair of pants in preparation but left all of my regalia off. 

           I don’t know what they were expecting when they battered down the last of the door, but it was not me rising off my bed with a smile.

           “Gentlemen,” I greeted them with a smile, “I was wondering how long it would take you.”

           I left the room of my own free will leading the guards who were meant to escort me to the throne room. The doors were pushed open for me and I strode in like a free woman. My father was seated on his throne, my mother beside him, and to their side was the High Priest who looked down on me, gloating. 

           I bowed low, “Oh the mighty King Portis, I have appeared before you due to your ever so polite summons, what may your humble abomination do for you?” Every word was etched with sarcasm and I saw the guards around me wince as I spoke.

           My father’s face purpled and he went to stand. The priest put a restraining hand on him.

           I arched my eyebrow, “Oh look how the king obeys the priest like a dog.” I called out. I had figured this would happen. I looked to the priest, “Since you now speak for my father, tell me is it the fire for me? The bulls? Or am I to be hung for betraying my father?”

           My father spoke, “I have been advised that the best way to deal with your corruption is to have it whipped from you. You are to be lashed until these foul beliefs leave your head, then you will be sent to the High Temple of Viroi to learn the holy ways.”

           I laughed and bowed, “Make sure you have plenty of guards ready to lash the former prince. I have a feeling this corruption you speak of will take a lot of effort. It has, after all, been festering for eighteen years.”

           “Take him to the courtyard!” My father bellowed and guards moved to seize me.

           I waved them off, “I will walk there under my own power, I have that much dignity at least.” It was an act; my insides were liquid jelly. I knew what a lashing entailed; my father had made me watch as thieves were lashed to cure me of my abhorrence to violence. Eighteen years of acting a part though let me pretend to be unbothered. I strode out to the courtyard flanked by guards. Another small group of priests was there praying and a crowd of nobles and common folk had gathered to see me purged. I was not what they were expecting. These crowds were used to jeering at people dragged screaming and crying for their punishment. I walked to the bloodstained column in the courtyard under my own power. I took off my shirt and gently laid it over the podium and went to the guard who was staring at me with a gaping mouth, the lash loose in his grip.

           “Tell me, good sir, might you have a piece of leather for me to bite down on?” I asked with a soft smile.

           He fumbled at his pockets and ended up taking off his belt. He gave it to me and I saw him pass off the lash while I placed the leather in between my teeth and waited to be secured to the pole as the crowd watched silently. I had one goal; I would not scream. I would not utter an audible word to be enjoyed by my father or the priests. Guards slowly fastened my wrists. I nodded to them companionably. They both looked aghast. They might have said something, but I could not hear them. The blood was pounding in my ears. I was glad for it as it drowned in the sermon the high priest gave. It did not drown out the crack of the lash.

           I bit down on the leather belt and shuddered under the blow. Then there was another, another, and another. I lost track of the blows and felt sweat pouring down my body as every crack heralded another stripe of burning pain. I did not cry out though. Even as the blows rained down on my back. I just bit into the leather and grunted occasionally. Tears streaked down my face, but I did not cry out.

           There was a pause in the blows and a guard pulled on the leather in my mouth, I opened it and let it fall out as I gasped for air and fought the urge to whimper.

           “Prince Varin, do you recant your foul claims to your father that you are a woman?” The high priest dramatically asked.

           I laughed weakly, “Leave it to…priest to think that being a woman…foul.” I managed to gasp out.

           “Do you recant and repent?!” The priest yelled obviously irritated by my defiance. 

           I gathered my feet under me and forced myself to stand despite the fact it felt like the chains were the only thing holding me up, I spat at the priest’s feet. “I spoke…truth.” I ground out, “I am a woman…” I glowered at the priest, “No…amount…of…lashings will change that.”

           “We will see little prince.” He snarled at me, “The corruption is still there, continue the lashings.”

           I took the leather back into my mouth and bit down weakly. The next lash after the brief respite was a hundred times worse. I groaned and then they continued. Blow after blow after blow. 

You are reading story Of Swords and Dragons at novel35.com

But I did not scream or whimper. And the crowd was silent.

           Then it stopped, “That is enough for one day, we will continue tomorrow. Take him to the dungeons.”

           I spat out the leather as I was lifted between guards, “Her!” I managed to find enough force to yell, “Take her to the dungeons.” I smiled cracking my dry lips and making them bleed.

           There was no response as I was drug downstairs and thrown into a cell. I just laid still where they had thrown me. My back was on fire and I was vaguely aware of blood pooling around me as I passed out from the pain into blessed darkness.

           The next day I was dragged from the dungeon and whipped again. This time on my chest and abdomen. I only whimpered once. I was tossed back into the dungeon and given a heel of bread and water. My treatment was becoming rougher by the guards as I saw more and more faces that I did not recognize all the uniforms marked with a seal of Viroi. That damned flaming circle I wanted to spit when I saw it but lacked the strength.

           On the third day, I was carried to the throne room and dumped on my knees. My scabs cracking and bleeding. No position granted relief from the pain.

           My father was on the throne there looking at me with something akin to pity.

           “Son, do you accept the mercy of Viroi and repent of this heinous thing you claim.” He asked trying to seem benevolent. I looked around and saw only that flaming circle.

           I spat blood on the marble floor and tried to summon up a witty retort, but found nothing. I looked at him, “I have seen what this mercy of Viroi is,” I gasped for air, “I want no part of it.”

           My father looked in pain before I slumped to stare at the floor again. I heard the priest telling him of extreme measures to purge this corruption. I remember laughing weakly as my father agreed. 

           The king prided himself on willpower falling to the machinations of a snake. I was dragged back to the dungeons and strapped down in a wooden chair.

           The high priest appeared and began walking around me, tying back the arms on his robes. “You know Prince Varin, I am actually glad you are so resistant to pain. Means I get to pay you back in kind for that little display in the banquet hall.” They pulled a brand from the brazier next to me. It was that damned flaming circle, “If you had recanted in the courtyard with witnesses, I would have been forced to let you go. Now, I get to play with you as long as I want until you’re a broken sobbing mess, the perfect empty vessel for Viroi’s mercy.”

           I glared at him, “Fuck off.” I snarled. Or tried to. The words caught in my throat and I coughed and gasped for air as my body was wracked with pain.

           “Don’t worry prince, this will hurt a lot.” He cackled as he pressed the brand into my chest. 

           I screamed then when no one could hear me as I smelled my own cooked flesh.

           “Now one for the other side.” He cackled again.

           This time I could not hold back. I screamed and whimpered over and over as he branded me again and again. I wish I could say I stoically resisted and that I did not give in.

           It would be a lie though; I was in a dungeon with a cruel maniac. I gave in and begged and pleaded for mercy. I took back everything I had said. I said I would do anything.

           He only laughed and kept going. As they drug me away the only thing he said was, “I will see you tomorrow little prince.”

           It was a promise he made good on. The next day was filled with the same, this time there were beatings as he ran out of exposed skin to brand. As I was naked that meant every inch of me was covered in brands. At the end of the day, he said the same thing.

           On the third day, the sixth day of my torture is when I lost track of time. I was burned, branded, beaten, lashed, whipped, and flogged till my blood covered the floor. Through some sick magic of his god they kept me alive, but in pain. Unable to faint, but aware enough to suffer.

           Eventually, I stopped begging and just cried and whimpered, occasionally screaming as they beat me. My days became cycles of darkness and pain. I would be in the dark, cold, and alone. Then I would be dragged out, chained to something, and tortured again.

           One of the last conscious thoughts is that I had at least spared Xati from this hell.

           After one of the cycles of darkness I just stopped making sounds, I did not have the strength, and still, this priest and his ilk continued. Laughing at me, mocking me. I knew I cried occasionally, but the tears were lost in blood.

           I no longer moved when they were finished with me, I would just lay where they had thrown me and wait for the next cycle of pain.

           Then something was different. The high priest lifted my head by my now short hair. They had shaved off my long hair as I wept, mocking me.

           “Well little princeling, what do we say?”

           “Praise Viroi,” I mumbled through bloody and cracked lips.

           “Are you a girl?” He asked mockingly.

           I shook my head.

           He patted my head, “Good boy.” He turned to his minions. “Clean him up, dress his wounds, and we will present him to the king.”

           They did as he instructed with no gentleness or kindness. I was drug back into the daylight which scalded my eyes. I had not seen natural light in so long. I was dropped on the familiar marble tile of the throne room. I stared listlessly ahead.

           I heard a shrill voice, “What have you done to my child?!”

           Some part of me knew it was my mother.

           “We have successfully cleansed him of his corruption. It was an arduous process with lots of prayers.” The High Priest said solemnly.

           “Wife stay back.” I heard my father say.

           “No Portis, look at him, he’s lost weight and he looks hurt.” My mother protested, “Call for the healers!”

           Idly I thought of Amara and hoped she had gotten away.

           “I assure madam the prince is in no danger. The power of Viroi has kept him stable throughout the process.” The High Priest said.

           “But-” My mother protested.

           “Did it work? Do I have my son again?” My father asked.

           I could hear the smile in the High Priest’s voice, “Ask him yourself.”

           “Son?” He asked.

           I responded with the script my torturers had given me, “I am Prince Varin, son of King Portis. Praise Viroi.” My tone was flat. It was just words after all. Words meant nothing. My father had said he loved me, yet he turned me over to be tortured. Love did not exist.

           “Are you a woman?” He asked as if he should be afraid of the answer.

           I shook my head no, anything else would result in more pain, more suffering.

           “Praise Viroi.” My father said with relief in his voice.

           “He has been cleansed of his corruption, and after studying in the high temple he will make a fine Paladin King that will drive out the unbelievers your majesty.”

           “I know he will, he was always destined to be a fine king. Take him and teach him.”

           “We will, you have my word, King.” The High Priest said smugly.

           “No! Don’t take my boy!” My mother cried out.

           “Shush woman,” My father said sharply, “It is for the best.”

           I left them behind as the priests dragged me out and pushed me into a waiting carriage. There was only a driver. I was alone in the back as it set off. Every bump and rattle ignited all of my injuries so I was in a constant state of pain. I just closed my eyes. I no longer had the strength to fight or resist, I just wanted to stop hurting.

           I awoke to a crash that sent me into the roof making me scream in pain and pass out. I woke shortly to being dragged from the carriage and dropped in the underbrush.

           “I thought it would be a nun or something from that scream.” A rough voice said.

           “Nah, just one of their conscripts. Look at the brands.” Another chimed in.

           “Fucking freaks branding themselves like that. Look at ‘im. He can’t even move” A boot struck my side.

           I whimpered in pain and just curled up mentally bracing for further blows. None came.

           “Just leave him there, not even worth the effort to strike down. The wolves will deal with him.” Footsteps faded away into the underbrush.

           I knew this was my chance to escape. But I could not find the strength to bother. I just laid on the ground in pain. It began to rain and I just opened my mouth to drink one mouthful than another of water. I realized I was cold and tried to curl into a ball to warm myself. The water kept me from being warm. 

           I finally stood, crying from the pain I suffered and I began to limp driven by some force inside myself that was yelling for me to live despite my apathy. I was in the darkest part of the forest, right before the mountains. Turns out my memory of the lands did not fade as easily as my sense of self.

           I saw a large cave opening and slowly staggered in. Deeper and further away from the water. My entire body screamed in pain, but it was the new normal for me. I finally reached the deepest part of the cave, a giant cavern around a small lake. I felt the heat from somewhere deeper so I just kept stumbling forward, crying and whimpering as I went. I bumped into something smooth and warm. I just collapsed next to it and curled into a ball of pain. Crying as I went to sleep. Well, you could call it to sleep if sleep included brief moments of unconsciousness in between indescribable agony.

           I woke to hunger in my belly and just laid there. I knew the hunger would not go away, but it did not matter. I was beyond caring.

           “What the hell?” I heard a soft voice echo from somewhere above me as the wall shifted. It was deep and melodic.

           It was not the voice of a priest or my father so I did not have to answer. I continued to lay there.

           “Hey you, what are you doing here?” I felt a nudge that made me whimper.

           I continued to lie there without responding. I did not have the strength.

           “Who the hell are you?” The voice growled.

           Without any conscious thought, “I am Prince Varin, son of King Portis, Praise Viroi.” My words sounded hollow to even my own uncaring head. 

           “What?” The voice sounded confused, “Viroi? Who the fuck is that?”

           I shrugged; I did not know really. Something about the god of light and purity or something. Did not matter, just had to say the lines, or the pain came back.

           I felt another nudge to my side that made me whimper in pain.

           “What is wrong with you?” The voice asked and continued to prod me with whatever sharp stick they had.

           I just curled up into a ball and cried. I knew if I begged them to stop it would just continue. There was a whoosh of air and the cave felt warmer than before. 

           “Hey look up.” The voice commanded.

           I obeyed; it was all I was good for. I looked up and saw a massive scaled head hovering over me. It was easily the size of the carriage I had been on, covered with glittering sapphire scales and obsidian horns that jutted out of its head. It had fangs the length of my leg and looked like it could easily devour me. It had cocked its head to stare at me as I lay there. Its eyes were a deep emerald. I just stared into its eyes.

           “Uh, boo?” It said.

           I just blinked as I looked up at it. Maybe it would eat me and put an end to this pain.

           There was a massive sigh, “Enough of this.” Suddenly my warm wall was gone with a rustle of scales and a blue-haired woman was standing over me with a glare. “What is wrong with you human?”

           I did not have a response I was supposed to say to that so I stayed silent marveling at her fierce beauty. Scales appeared in patterns across her exposed skin, while leather wings wrapped around her to preserve her dignity. She nudged me with her foot.

           I whimpered and curled back up.

           “What the hell is going on?” She muttered and lifted the back of my shirt. There was a small gasp. I found myself scooped up in strong arms and whisked away deeper into the darkness. I marveled at how warm she was and just nestled myself against her. 

           She set me down in something soft that stilled pressed against my wounds. I whimpered in pain and found a glass rim pressed against my lips. A cool thick liquid brushing against them.

           “Drink.” She instructed and I obeyed. It was cold and minty. After I swallowed, I suddenly felt myself slipping away into darkness. The darkness that was free from pain. I did not fight it in the slightest.

           I basked in that darkness. The lack of pain and cruelty enamored me so that when I felt it slipping away, I cried. I did not want to hurt again. Still bright light forced me to open my eyes.

           “There we go little one, easy, easy.” That soft voice said.

           I realized I was looking at the scaled lady with vibrant blue hair. She had put me somewhere soft, I looked around and saw it was a giant pillow. Blankets were tucked around me and my bandages had been changed. But this time there was something on the wounds muffling the pain. The pain was still there, but I no longer felt like screaming. I continued to look around and realized the room was lit by strange glowing crystals. Magic, some part of me said.

           “I did not know if you’d wake up little one. You are injured pretty badly.” The woman went back to a table where she was mixing something. “What’s your name?”

           Immediately without conscious thought, “I am Prince Varin, son of King Portis. Praise Viroi.”

           She took a moment and looked at me long and hard, “Those words aren’t of your own will are they?”

           I sat there staring at her for a long moment before I risked a nod. I immediately winced and flinched expecting the inevitable pain for my defiance. None came. I risked a glance and saw the woman wearing a sad look.

           “Would you like something to eat?” She asked.

           I nodded again and flinched again. The only thing that came was a hot bowl of stew and bread. I devoured it in mere minutes. It had been so long since I had real food. I was so desperate I even licked the bowl clean.

           She said nothing, just got another bowl and more bread with some water. I repeated the process, but in the end, I felt sleepy. She eased me back into the soft pillow and covered me up so I was not cold. I drifted off into sleep again.

           This process repeated itself several times. She would wake me gently, and offer me food that was more and more solid with water. I would eat my fill and fall asleep. Each time I felt more present and more alive though everything seemed hazy like I was viewing it through a cloudy lens.

           Finally, I found the strength to speak after she gave me a bowl filled with meat, rice, and eggs one day. “Thank you,” I whispered. I still flinched.

           She smiled at me, “You are welcome little one. Eat your fill.”

           I obeyed and this time did not immediately drift off. I just relaxed back into the pillow.

           “Can you speak now?” She asked as she covered me again and checked my bandages.

           “Kinda.” I flinched again, “Sorry it's hard not to flinch.” I flinched again.

           “You’ve been through a lot little one.” She responded and reclined on the massive pillow beside me.

           I nodded remembering the pain and tears dripped down my cheeks.

           She gently brushed away the tears, “It is ok, you don’t have to think about it. Just rest.” 

           I found myself curling up against her as I slipped off into sleep again. The cycle continued with rest, food, water, and more sleep. Each time she checked in on me and each time I stayed awake for longer. She began to help me walk around the cave bit by bit as I regained my strength. She even took me to a pool where I could bathe myself in a hot spring. It was wonderful and slowly the wounds began to heal. I began to eat with her at a table and ask generic questions about her day. I still had trouble thinking about the past. Finally, after almost another two weeks while we were walking around the cave, I decided to ask a question. The worst she could do was kill me.

           “So uh, what are you?” I asked softly. The flinch did not come as hard this time.

           She smiled over at me, “Well my name is Azura, well at least that’s what I let others call me, and I am a dragon.”

           “Oh,” I said, I did not know how to really process that she was a mythical creature, but it explained a lot about what I had seen.

           “May I ask a question in return?” Azura asked looking at me cautiously.

           I nodded.

           “What is your name?” She asked softly as if I would startle.

           “I am-” I started, then I actually bit my tongue to stop, “I was born Varin,” I answered, I did not dare say more lest it results in pain. “Can I get you to promise something?”

           “A promise from a dragon is a tall order born Varin,” Azura said with a smile.

           “It’s simple I swear.” I ignored her cheeky remark. This was important.

           She cocked her head again and her tail flicked back and forth like a cat, “Ask and I will consider it.”

           “When you decide to kill me, please make it quick.” I said as I did my best to step gingerly over some glowing moss, “I really don’t want it to hurt for too long.” I barely noticed she had stopped moving.

           “Do you think I will kill you because I am a dragon?” Her voice was smoldering, “After all of the effort I went to help you heal?”

           I looked back at her, “No not because you are a dragon, because I have literally nothing to give you. And eventually, my father will come looking for me and it would be for the best if you kill me and drop my body far away so he does not find you. He is now dedicated to his new god Viroi and would hunt you if it meant pleasing Viroi.” I did a quick count of days I had estimated to have passed, “I mean honestly he is probably already looking for me so I think I have maybe three more days before you will have to kill me.” I smiled wanly at her, “Sorry that you wasted effort on me.”

           She snorted, “If that’s the case, why wouldn’t I just drop you on the road to be found.”

           “Too dangerous.” I was oddly at peace, “I mean not that you know that it is too dangerous, but basically no matter how much I try to keep your existence a secret the priests will torture it out of me eventually. So you sort of has to kill me, and make sure it looks like either wild animals or I broke my neck or something.”

           “Why are you telling me this?” She hissed.

           I shrugged, “So it might make it easier on you, “Though if you’d rather I do it myself, just tell me where the nearest cliff is.”

           She stayed silent for a long moment. “Stop walking human.”

           I obeyed and sat down. 

           “Why are you obsessed with dying?” Azura asked.

           I shrugged, “Several reasons.”

           She blurred and was at my side faster than I would have thought possible, “I have just expended a considerable amount of time and effort healing you, I find it insulting that which I healed has such a disregard for my work. You owe me an explanation at least.”

           I sighed; this would not be fun. I really did not want to delve into my past “What season is it?”

           “Early winter, you stumbled in my cave in late fall.” She answered sharply.

           “Well at the beginning of spring it was my birthday, right after the first thaw. On that day my father was going to proclaim me his heir. However, some priests decided to imprison a woman for something that was not a crime according to the laws of the land, but was a crime in Viroi’s eyes.” I sighed, “I managed to pull off a rather masterful speech and free her. But then invited her to dine with my family to keep her close away from priests and the such. Then she confronted my father about his threats while I was away and they were humiliating her while waiting for me.” I trailed off and stared off remembering that conversation.

           Azura hummed for a moment, “I am assuming he said something that just did not sit well with you.”

           I nodded, “I confronted him in front of everyone and revealed that I was the same as the woman I had saved.” I laughed dryly, “I managed to get her and my one friend out of the castle thank whatever gods there are, but then they came for me.” I rubbed my hands together and began to rock, “I knew I was going to be punished, maybe even banished, but my father just turned me over to the priests to be purified or my ‘corruption’ I fought the punishment trying to make a statement that it was no corruption.” I felt tears dripping down my face, “I lasted for three days, then he turned me over to solely the priests.”

           Azura was sitting beside me and wrapped a single wing around me warming me and comforting me.

           I pointed at a brand on my arm, one of the dozens across my body. I could not even see myself without one of the brands, “This is their symbol, the mark of Viroi.” I sniffled, “I didn’t even last the day before I was begging them to stop, that I would say anything. Well, they did not stop, it was not enough for them until they had hollowed me out completely, made me reject everything I was, turned me into a nice little empty vessel to be used for their needs.” I held my face in my hands, “According to you I was down there for over a season. When they showed me to my parents at least my mother was worried. My father was only happy that I had been fixed. Then they sent me off to the temple of Viroi to be reeducated.” I laughed bitterly, “Bandits attacked and I wandered off into the forest which led me to you. I was just waiting to die.” I looked off in the distance, “I should have jumped to my death right after I sent Xati away.”

           Azura just wrapped me in a cocoon of her wings and arms. She held me for a long moment as I wept. I finally stood and she let me up.

           I turned back to face her, “So the reason I am obsessed with dying you see, is that I am already dead inside.” I laughed as tears dripped down my face, “Everything that was me the priests dragged out and burnt. I was given back a name I hated and a line to say if anyone asked who I was. That is all I have left.” I turned and screamed into the cavern, “I am Prince Varin! Son of King Portis! Praise Viroi!” Then I collapsed to my knees and looked back at her, “It is literally all I have. They took my hair, marred my body, broke my spirit, spat on my heart even emptied out my mind so that it took me weeks to even begin to speak like a person.”

           Azura stood up and was walking toward me.

           “I am just sorry that you wasted your time and resources on a broken and useless being.” I wept bitterly.

           She just knelt and wrapped me up again, humming in that deep tone. Slowly I felt myself drifting to sleep in her arms. Then darkness took me and I was thankful.

           I woke up again in the soft pillow wrapped in Azura’s wings. I lay there for a long moment before I decided to make myself not a problem. I went to pull myself free and a taloned hand wrapped around my throat, “No.” She said as she sat up.

           I looked at her, “No what?”

           “No, you are not allowed to harm yourself or end yourself. I spent too much time healing you to allow that.” Azura responded pushing me back into the mattress and looming over me.

           “My life is all I have and I intend to go out on my own terms.” I hissed and her grip tightened cutting off my words.

           “You consider yourself broken and worthless. Not even a being. Correct?” She asked menacingly.

           I nodded. Hoping she would end it, but I was still able to breathe. Just was not able to talk.

           “Then it is settled, you belong to me now and are part of my hoard.” She answered letting go of my neck.

           “What?” I yelped sitting up.

           She turned back towards me and her emerald eyes flashed, “You. Belong. To. Me.” Azura took one menacing step forward and then another. “I took you in, I healed you, I nursed you back to health, and I will be damned if my hoard decides to throw itself off a cliff.”

           I swallowed and tried to back up. Once again, she moved impossibly fast and slammed me to the ground. If I had been in peak physical condition, I might’ve been able to roll her off. The months of torture and recovery though had turned my relatively impressive physique into just a slender build. All I managed was to wriggle under her. 

           “Get this straight right this instant my little gem.” She rumbled, “I decide what has value and what does not, I decide whether you live or die.” Azura pulled my face so that I was nose to nose with her half humanoid and half dragon face. “And you are mine, do you understand? Not your parents, not this Viroi.” She inhaled and I smelt smoke, “You are MINE.” The last word was a growl that echoed in my body.

           I shuddered in a not entirely unpleasant way. I had never been addressed this way in my life, never been accosted in such away. And I liked it. “But-” I tried to protest.

           Her claw was in my mouth pinning my tongue down. “Shhh my little gem, there are no buts with a dragon. The only word I should hear when I let go of your mouth is ‘Yes Mistress.” Understand?”

           I nodded feeling a strange warmth in my chest. She released me and sat up, waiting.

           “Yes, Mistress,” I whispered.

           Azura’s smile was equal parts brilliant and fearsome, “Very good little gem, that was not so bad was it?”

           I shook my head.

           She scratched under my chin and I felt myself wiggle. “Good gems get rewarded,” Azura said in a chipper voice. “Now come with me.”

           She got up and walked away and I found my bandaged self, limping along after her. We reached a large pile of gold in a back room and she idly dug through the gold. “You see little gem, this is not my permanent lair, I just come here occasionally to rest away from others. So my hoard here is just some shiny things to amuse me, but there was one thing here that will be useful.”

           I just nodded absentmindedly as I considered the fact this gold was probably more than what my father had in his treasury.

           “Here it is,” Azura announced and climbed out of the gold pile, shaking gold coins from her wings and tail. She was holding a gold collar covered in emerald jewels that glinted in the crystal’s light. “Sit gem.”

           I hesitated then shrugged and sat down.

           She got down on one knee in front of me. “This collar is magical and once it is placed on it cannot be removed, you will be bound to the owner, in this case, me, until I say otherwise.” She held up a taloned finger, “But there is a catch, you must agree to this of your own will.” Azura placed the collar in my hand. Then she reclined on her massive pile of gold as she watched me.

           “Choose little gem, the once Prince Varin. Will you continue to be a Varin hunted by your father and his priests, or will you be my little gem? Just a little gem whose only requirement is to be itself around me.” She asked in that rumbling voice.

           I looked at the collar, “But I’m broken,” I laughed as I started to cry, “I am not even a man, I don’t even have the right body. I will be a burden.”

           “My little gem, I don’t care if you want to be a man, woman, or neither. As to being a burden, I am a dragon. I think I can carry a little thing like you. I just want you.” Azura purred with a smile.

           At that moment I believed her. I placed the collar around my neck and as soon as the golden ends met, they clicked shut. It fit my neck like it had been made for me. I could feel the magic humming through the collar.

           “Speak your name little gem, the real one.” Azura purred.

           “Verity.” The name that they had tried to burn, beat, and torture out of me leaped to my lips without a thought. 

           “And who do you belong to little shining Verity?” Azura asked leaning forward, sending a cascade of gems around her legs.

           “You, Mistress Azura.” I paused as I felt the magic seal, I don’t know how but I could feel the moment it was done. I looked up at her and her pose struck me like a cat about to pounce. “I am yours, Azura.”

           Then she pounced and was on top of me, rumbling in pleasure. I realized I could accurately deduce her emotions and she was very, very pleased.

           “Now little gem that you’re bonded to me properly, let’s get rid of those scars. You are mine and I will not allow any to claim you without permission.” Azura reached up with a claw and pricked her neck allowing a drop of glowing ruby blood to appear. “Now drink little gem.” She rumbled lowering her neck to my mouth.

           I latched on and sucked and kissed as the rich blood filled my mouth. It was metallic and tasted of gold and fire. Still, I drank and I felt heat fill my body as I drank.

           “Easy little girl, keep drinking and you will end up with changes you are not ready for.” Azura purred as she pulled me off of her neck and pinned me to the ground.

           I groaned and moaned as I felt the heat build through my body and the scars from the brands began to fade away and my injuries began healing faster and faster. But still, the heat increased and I felt a need build inside me. A carnal desire I had ignored for years out of hatred for my own body.

           “Aw,” Azura purred as her taloned claw kept me pinned to the ground so she could whisper in my ear, “Is something wrong my little Verity?”

           Her purring my name like that made my desire flame even hotter. I realized she did not see me as a man, just as a little gem, a pretty little gem that happened to be a girl. I could feel it almost see it in her eyes. She was not touching me like one would touch a man, no she was coaxing me like one would a woman. I wanted more.

           “Yes…” I whined under her touch as her claws dragged up my thighs cutting the bandages off and lightly dragging over the exposed skin.

           “What’s a wrong little gem?” Azura rumbled as she nipped at my earlobe.

           I was panting in desire, leaking all over myself as Azura’s claws removed my bandages. “Please, I need you,” I whispered to her.

           “But I am right here little gem.” Her claws raked down my chest triggering bursts of pleasure from me making me moan.

           I recognized the need in that instant, I needed her in me, claiming me, marking me. I looked into her emerald-slit eyes and opened my mouth to speak, but only a breathy moan came out as she ground herself against me.

           “Speak little Verity, tell mistress what you want.” She rumbled, “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

           “Please take me.” I whispered, “Own me.” I did not care how she did it, I needed it.

           “Of course my little gem.” She purred. Suddenly I was in her arms and being tossed into the hot springs. The water felt cool against my skin despite the steam rising out of it. I came up sputtering, but she was there suddenly and her lips were against mine. Her wings wrapped around us, shutting out all light and muffling noise. It was just me and her in the water, nothing else in the universe mattered. I felt something hard rubbing wetly against my stomach and I looked down to see she had a cock that was drooling against my belly thanks to our differences in height. It was no small thing either, I shuddered in anticipation and nerves at the same time. She laid me back against the rock, “I see you saw my appendage here.” Azura lewdly stroked its inhuman shape. “You see us dragons can accommodate whatever the situation requires.” She leaned down and bit my neck causing me to whimper and moan. She licked the bite mark as she let go, “And I know exactly what my little gem needs.”

           I yelped as she spun me around and bent me over the edge as my feet floated above the bottom of the springs. I felt myself rubbing against the smooth stones making me whimper in pleasure.

           “I always enjoyed breeding,” She rumbled behind me, “And what luck that I found myself such an eager little receptacle.”

           Her cock rubbed against my opening making me gasp.

           “Don’t worry Verity, I know it is your first time. I will be gentle. This time.” The implied promise made me shudder. 

           Her wet and slick fingers found my opening and gently started teasing me open. She took her time even as I moaned and begged for more. First one finger slid into me, then a second, and finally a third.

           I was writhing and moaning under her touch as she continued to ease them in and out of me at a steady pace. But I needed more and I could not take it.

           “Please mistress, more, give me more.” I groaned. I knew what I needed.

           So did she, “Beg for it, Verity. Beg for it.”

           “Please mistress fuck me with your cock.” I moaned, “Pleasepleasepleaseplease.” I arched back farther onto her fingers. “I can’t please give it to me pleaseplease.” I begged over and over just repeating please as my thoughts slowly left my head.

           “Good girl.” Azura breathed in my ear, “Good little gems get rewarded.” She lined herself up with my opening and I moaned as I felt her tip push into me. Then more slid in and I saw stars as Azura’s firm hands gripped my shoulders and pulled me onto her.

           All thoughts left my head as I felt her slip into me, every bump and ridge driving any conscious thought from my head. All I could manage was to constantly scream yes. Over and over.

           Then she was fully hilted inside me. I could feel her throbbing. Her want. Her desire. And mine matched hers.

           “Are you ready little gem?” Azura asked with a wicked tone. She knew what she was doing, dragging out my need for as long as possible.

           “Yes mistress, please.” I begged, “Please fuck me.”

           “As you wish little gem.” She growled and pulled herself out of me slowly. 

           I gasped as I felt the growing emptiness inside me. Then she pushed back in faster than before making me bounce up and yelp. Then again and again. Faster and harder each time. Each thrust drove more pleasure into me. I felt myself explode in the water as I had not even been touched once and I reveled in it. I moaned and screamed in pleasure with each thrust. The burning pleasure built again and again. It peaked again when she bit down on my neck with a particularly savage thrust leaving me spasming under her.

           My draconian mistress was not done yet and I did not want her to be as she used me for her pleasure forcing me over the edge a third time as my body spasmed into pleasurable pain, my fingers and toes clenching as I arched under her.

           She came with a roar, flooding my insides with hot cum that was glowing as I caught glimpse of my stomach and saw the bright glow from inside me. I leaked and spasmed weakly as she caught me and held me in her arms. She gently pulled herself from me with a chuckle.

           “Good girl, you did so well for your first time.” She purred. I will be eager to see how well you develop with time. After all, dragons have a ravenous appetite.” Azura lightly nibbled on my ear earning some weak giggles from me.

           She gently washed me and then carried me back to the pillow and tucked me in before wrapping herself around me.

           “Don’t worry my little gem, my tender little Verity. If any should try and reach you, they will first have to go through me. And tomorrow, I am taking you far away from here.” Azura said as she stroked my body.

           I nodded and used one of her horns to pull myself up to kiss her lips again. I lingered there letting my lips meld with hers and our tongues meet. Then I sagged into the bed weakly, exhausted from the events of the night.

           A growl rumbled out from her. “You are such a treat.” She fiercely hugged me and wrapped me in her wings next to her.

           It was at this moment I knew there was no escaping this dragoness’s grasp. And I did not want to. She had shown me more kindness in a season than my family had in years. With her, I felt safe.

           

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