Chapter 47: Chapter 47

Deng Xi called that evening because Casey had coughed twice in a row and he was now worried she’d gotten sick. While Mianmian was assuring him that she needed to cough a lot of more for it count as sick, Sun Fang finished getting ready for his meeting with Mo Cheng. He’d fiddled with his looks in front of the mirror for almost an hour, and taken just as long deciding what to wear. But in the end he was satisfied with how he looked, and so he considered it well worth it.

“I’m leaving!” he called into the apartment, 

”Good luck!” Mianmian answered, leaning into the hallway and waving with an encouraging grin on painted lips. Though he didn’t usually wear makeup, he’d put some on in solidarity with Sun Fang trying to look his absolute best. Sun Fang grinned back, waving with only partly faked cheer.

Unlocking the door with one last backward glance, Sun Fang left alone, Ivy staying behind. This was a chance to figure out where he stood with Mo Cheng, where they’d go from here, and he didn’t want any distractions.

He took a cab to the park Mo Cheng had named as a meeting place. The ride was long; the park was a fair bit of distance from Sun Fang’s place. As he understood, it was much closer to Mo Cheng’s. Most of the ride was spent staring out the window, placidly watching the view go by. Nothing much interesting had happened to Sun Yi lately, and Sun Fang wasn’t in the mood for it anyway. So he was silent, and he stared outside, and time passed.

”Thanks for the ride,” he paid the driver, an AI that would then deliver the money to its owner. The AI didn’t look at him, and he frowned in discomfort. 

The park was beautiful this time of day. Trees lined the walkways, the small lake it was surrounding sparkling in the sunlight like it was made of stars. Green grass and colorful flowers littered the ground, a café wedged into one corner that he knew served amazing ice cream. 

Sun Fang sighed, snapped a quick picture of the view, and unfolded his parasol. He held it up above his head as he walked through the park, swinging his hips to a rhythm ringing in his head. When he approached the place where he’d agreed to meet Mo Cheng, his pace slowed down and he began to twirl the parasol around and around. He bit down on his lips as he went the last bit of distance and once he was close enough, he said, ”Hello, Mo Cheng.”

Mo Cheng looked up from his phone. For a second his face was blank, before he schooled his features and a small smile appeared, ”Hello, Sun Fang,” he answered. 

Sun Fang sat down next to him on the bench. He angled the parasol to protect him from the sun and asked, ”How have you been?”

”Well, thank you,” Mo Cheng smiled at him, a little brighter. They settled into silence though, the kind of silence where Sun Fang kept thinking of new things to say and discarding them before they left his lips. He wasn’t sure how to act now; aside from Mianmian, Sun Fang didn’t have a relationship with any of his ex-boyfriends. Hadn’t even tried to hold onto them.

”Are you angry at me?” Sun Fang finally asked. He twirled the parasol again, sitting slightly straighter. He didn’t look at Mo Cheng as he waited for a response, simply staring at the lake in front of them.

Mo Cheng huffed, a quiet, ”A little bit, yeah,” leaving him. 

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Sun Fang bobbed his head. He twirled the parasol faster, almost careening it off his shoulder. Snorting softly at that, he said, ”I don’t mind. I know I kind of just… sprung it on you out of nowhere.”

”You did,” Mo Cheng agreed, his voice thoughtful. 

Sun Fang peeked at him out of the corner of his eyes. He licked his lips and forced out, ”Do you still want to be friends? Because—we haven’t spoken in like two weeks and I just want to know what that means. Do you just want some space? Want to cut off contact with me entirely?”

Mo Cheng sighed. ”I don’t know.” The other man snorted and turned to face Sun Fang. ”You say you want to be friends, but you haven’t contacted me either, you know.”

”I know,” Sun Fang lowered his gaze. ”But I don’t know what to say, or how I would say it even if I did, or how to talk to you, or how to spend time with you. When I break up with people I usually just break off all contact with them, and so this is all new to me.”

Mo Cheng clicked his tongue. ”I get that it’s a valid excuse and you’re having actual trouble, and I should just let you have a free pass,” Mo Cheng said, his eyes narrowed and his mouth downturned. He continued, ”But you’re putting all the pressure on me, and if you do that I’ll fold. It’s really fucking easy to lose all contact with someone, and it’s a two-way street. If you never contact me, you can’t blame me for never contacting you.”

”I know—”

”Knowing doesn’t change anything!” 

Sun Fang snorted, ”Yeah, because you’re so much better.” He sighed, gripping the parasol so it stopped spinning. Casting a quick glare at Mo Cheng, he said, ”I didn’t come here to argue with you. I just want to know where we stand, and what we want. I don’t care about what we’re doing and not doing—do you want us both to try, or not?”

”Not right now,” Mo Cheng answered. He shook his head, standing to his feet, ”I want space apart; I want time to think. I want to figure it out on my own. So, I don’t think we should try right now.”

”Okay,” Sun Fang said. He watched Mo Cheng, and started twirling his parasol again.