Chapter 82: Chapter 82

Almost an hour later, Ivy returned from the walk it had taken outside the resort, touring the city with an actual tour-group and everything. Sun Fang heard it open the door, heard it call out, ”I’m back,” heard it lock the door and its footsteps as it walked through the hallway. It was lucky that they’d gotten a suit, so Sun Fang had a moment to dry his tears before Ivy reached him. He sniffled quietly, pulling the blanket up to his chin.

The TV wasn’t on, but Sun Fang was staring at it anyway. He’d been biting on his bails for several minutes now and while he worried he’d start bleeding any second, he couldn’t stop. He was staring. He was biting on his thumbnail. He was still staring at the black TV screen.

Ivy entered the living room. ”A’Fang?” Ivy asked, stopping in the middle of the room. Sun Fang didn’t move, didn’t react, didn’t do anything. He just continued to nibble on his nails, softly pulling the blanket up higher with his other hand. He heard Ivy take a step, then could almost feel Ivy waiting another moment before it asked, ”Are you alright?”

Sun Fang pulled the blanket over his head.

Ivy’s steps approached the couch, and he felt it stop before it. ”Do you want a hug, A’Fang?” Ivy asked, voice serious. Sun Fang clenched his eyes shut, finally pulling his thumb from his mouth. He flopped over on the couch, burrowing down as deep as he could. He didn’t answer.

”I will sit here with you,” Ivy said. Sun Fang could feel it sitting down on the floor before the couch—the couch was too small for Ivy when Sun Fang was lying down like this. He gulped, and listened attentively as Ivy added, ”Tap the couch three times if you want me to leave, and I will.” Then, Ivy said, ”I want to make you feel better.”

”Ivy always makes me feel better,” Sun Fang croaked, almost reflexively. He then snapped his mouth shut and shoved his face into the pillow, curling in on himself.

”A’Fang is too kind,” Ivy said. They fell into silence. Sun Fang counted the minutes in his head, then got bored with that and thought about a movie he just watched; with thoughts of Mo Cheng constantly in the background. 

He wasn’t sure if he’d done the right thing. He wasn’t even sure what he’d done. He had a hard time remembering a single thing he’d said. But—he knew that Mo Cheng had said he would call. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but it was a direction to go in either way. And while acknowledging what an asshole he’d been to Mo Cheng hurt, at the end of the day, Sun Fang hoped they could still be friends.

Was this progress? Had he grown as a person? Was the pain worth it? Was the shame he was drowning in worth it? Would he be happier now that he’d apologized? 

”I don’t know,” Sun Fang croaked again. He licked his lips, lowering the blanket just enough to peek his eyes out above it’s edge, looking at Ivy. He continued, ”if it went well. I don’t…” he pulled the blanket up again. Breathing deeply, he clenched his eyes shut, deeply hating the tears at the edges, trying to force their way out.

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”A’Fang…” Ivy scooted closer, laying its hand on the couch’s edge. Sun Fang could feel it right next to his knee, and he barely bothered to keep his impulse in check. He knocked his knee forward into Ivy’s hand. Ivy huffed a quiet laugh, and Sun Fang’s stomach tingled a little. He bit his lip, and knocked his knee forward again.

”Do you want to watch a movie?” Ivy asked after a couple of minutes. Sun Fang’s face was still in the pillow, but he finally turned his head at this. He shrugged, his motion obscured by the thick and fluffy orange blanket. He pushed his hand out of his impromptu blanket fort and it took no more than a second (and some waving) before Ivy gripped his hand loosely. Sun Fang tightened his grip instantly, drawing strength from the cool hand he was clinging to.

He inhaled sharply. Smacking his lips, he then muttered, ”Movie.”

Ivy squeezed his hand softly. ”I will set it up. Do you want to sit up so we can cuddle while watching?”

Sun hesitated for naught but a second before he nodded. Then he realized that Ivy couldn’t see him under the blanket and he pulled it down with one hand, still holding onto Ivy with the other. He squeezed the hand, pouting as he was exposed to the light. ”Cuddle,” he mumbled, slowly pulling his legs up to make room. 

Ivy smiled at him, pulling gently on his hand. ”Here,” he said and helped him sit up. When Sun Fang was comfortably situated, legs pulled up to his chest and rebundled in the blanket, Ivy patted him on his shoulder. ”I’ll get some soda and candy, okay? I’ll be right back and we can watch the movie and cuddle.”

”’kay,” Sun Fang whispered. He let go of Ivy’s hand, watching Ivy quickly disappear into the small kitchen, and he frowned. Then he twisted his hands into the blankets and leaned his head against the backrest, staring up at the beige ceiling. He exhaled, closing his eyes and breathing deeply in a simple rhythm.

Ivy came back soon enough, and Sun Fang leaned against it as soon as it sat down. The TV soon came on, Ivy muddling along with the remote control until a movie started playing. Sun Fang hadn’t paid attention to which one it’d chosen, too busy crawling as close to Ivy as possible. 

”Alright?” Ivy asked, picking up his hand again and threading their fingers together. It put them on its lap, and Sun Fang leaned his head on Ivy’s shoulder. He didn’t say anything, out of words, just simply closed his eyes to the background noise of some explosion, and relaxed.