Chapter 1: Apocalypse Tutorial Mode: Lewd

You know how it started. Apocalypse comes to Earth with blue boxes, everyone gets to pick a tutorial difficulty. The whole thing usually doubles as a sick universe scale reality-show, with rich patrons being able to sponsor individual Earthlings. And once you finish, you supposedly get to join some kind of sci fi-fantasy society run by godlike superbeings.

Hell, I’ve read like a dozen of those myself.

And though I am not an ex-marine, engineer, or a Jason, I liked to imagine that I would do pretty spiffingly if I’d ever get a chance to participate in one of them apocalypses. Afterall, I was not only a gamer, but an avid reader. Of course I would make smart choices. I would analyze the heck out of whatever system magic was based on, min-max an OP build, and breeze my way into an awesome life rivaled only by the wildest of isekai fantasies.

The thing about fantasies, you can fantasize all day long, and still find yourself blindsided by your true desires. Humans are funny like that. Most of us are so caught up with our thoughts that we don’t even dare to daydream about our true desires, or we dismiss them so fast they never have time to turn into such. 

I think that was probably the case with me, though I didn’t realize it at the time.

To set the scene, I’d woken at 4:20 a.m. (which goes to prove that fantasy aliens are big memers). Big shiny screen stared at my face. White text on turquoise background. Beams of light flashed over the pre-dawn campus at random intervals and places. That was from people being beamed elsewhere. It hadn’t been hard to figure out after we saw some girls in the opposite dorm disappear in those poofs of light.

I say we, because me and my dorm mates — Matt, ZJ, and Alice — had gathered around ZJ’s dingy little dining table, the one we used to play D&D over, to figure out synergistic builds.

Everyone had the same starting points. 10 points to distribute between body, mind, and soul. Every five points spent in a stat earned you a skill. The list of skills you had available seemed to be dependent on your hobbies, personality, and overall skill distribution. Fairly standard stuff.

Then there were the tutorial options, which promised a scaling of risk and reward from ‘Total Carebear’ mode to ‘Ultrahardcore Permadeath’, that had never been defeated in the history of the [System]. Extra points, Celestial sponsorships, secret skills, free cosmetic options, and artifacts were all on the table for those brave and capable enough to clear the higher difficulties.

I was already dead set on putting all my 10 points into [Soul] and figuring out an immortal caster build, when, by total accident, I opened the cosmetics menu under [Body], and saw the option.

Seezh, who’d want that? I thought at first, clicking it away as fast as I could.

But the option kept burning at the back of my mind, smoldering into the forefront of my thoughts, when ZJ shouted, “This ain’t real... There’s a Lewd Mode!”

“Lewd Mode?” Matt looked aghast.

“Says it right here. Lewd. Mode. ‘Participants are at peril of kinky indignity and wanton molestation. Save spots enabled. Reward tier: Least.’”

“Ridiculous! Who’d join something so disgusting?” Alice stammered.

ZJ offered her a smarmy grin. “Eleven-billion people and… a rapidly increasing number of humans from the looks of it.”

“Jesus…”

“Probably wouldn’t approve of what’s going on down there,” ZJ chuckled.

A regular round of ZJ vs Alice banter faded into the background, as an ear burning, cheek blushing, all consuming though-tworm crawled in and made a hostile takeover of my mind. No hostages were left alive. No prisoners taken. I forgot my [Soul] build. All that remained was a quagmire of deep repressed fantasies screaming me to take the opportunity. My heart drummed in my ears. If the [System] screen could have broken from excess staring, my gaze would’ve drilled a hole through that cosmetic option. I could not snap myself from the mental images of the life I could lead.

“Greg, all good buddy?” ZJ’s soft hand brushed my broad shoulder.

“Y-yeah,” I replied, my voice rumbling like an avalanche.

Matt clapped his hands for our attention. “Alright, guys. I propose we pick ‘Medium’. Dying after the grace period throws you out of it, but there is no true permadeath, and the rewards are good. From what I can tell, it’s the best balanced option.”

“Aight, fine by me. I’m gonna put 5 in  [Body] 5 min [Mind]. And whoaa…” ZJ paused, swaying while grinning. “[Perception Acceleration] is sick yo. Look at my hand.”

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“ZJ, your hand is moving normally,” Alice observed with an indignant huff. “I made a full [Soul] build, and picked—”

I couldn’t pass this chance, though the logical part of me screamed at me not to do it. And I knew it was now or never. Five minutes and I’d be swept into whatever scheme my friends were cooking up. I’d end up living life as a big-buff paladin, forever wondering about the ‘what if’.

“AAAAA!” Screaming to drown out their conversation, I flipped open the cosmetics menu, and spent all 10 points in one lightning-quick click.

“Verbal confirmation required for extensive body modifications,” murmured a calm synthetic female voice, and my entire world shattered into shards of red shame. “You are about to spend ten points on the [Sexy Genderswap]-option. Please confirm your choice.”

“C-c-confirm!”

“Greg… What?”

“CONFIRM!” Get me out of here! NOW!

“To confirm [Sexy Genderswap]-option, please include the name of the option you are about to select.”

Voice squeaking, eyes on the ground, I rushed on, “I want the [Sexy Genderswap]!”

My system interface pinged happily, accepting the confirmation.

A flash of white made the world grow around me.

“What the f—” ZJ gasped.

Alice covered her mouth.

Matt’s jaw fell. 

They were all staring and I had never been as acutely aware of stares as I was then. My clothes had become huge and I knew they knew what I’d done. Embarrassment and anxiety threatened to annihilate me, but I pressed on, screaming, now in a higher pitched voice, fumbling to navigate the tutorial options, until a click and a wash of blessed white brightness rescued me from having to explain myself.

Only the [System] screen remained.

 

[Sexy Genderswap]: 10 points. Your biological gender will be flipped from Male to Female. Subconscious desires will be applied to genetic code and soul information to optimize appearance.

[Tutorial mode - Lewd]: Participants are at peril of kinky indignity and wanton molestation. Risk of bodily harm in Dungeons is greatly reduced. In exchange, monsters and Dungeon denizens will attempt to use and dominate the adventurers sexually. Safe word enabled. Save spots enabled. Reward tier: Least. Perks provided: Personal spawnpoint and beginner equipment.

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