Chapter 3: A City called Lewdtut

Chatter and hubbub of a life spilled in the moment I opened my door, as if a spell had been broken. My jaw started to drop as the sights sank in.

It was a wide dead-end alley squished between two… buildings was a strong word for what they were. Six facades of mis-matching materials and architecture were fused together in a patchwork that could not possibly be up to regulations. The only shared feature between the lot was their rough matching size and the fact they all had a set of stairs leading up to a single door. But it wasn’t the street that had me gawkin. Oooh no, the people who lived there won that price ten zero.

They were all fantasy people. Gorgeous fantasy people who chilled about the alley like it was the most natural thing. Four pearly-white women with halos above their heads were feeding some birds by a fountain at the back of the alley. A vaguely female shaped mass of plant-green and sunflowers slept in a small communal garden opposite to my door. On the stairs next to mine, a slender clay-red man with pointy ears played a strange board game with a horned and blue musclebound beast of a man. One wide open door, leading to a luxurious entry hall of crimson satin and carved wooden surfaces inlaid with gold, was a source of singing and merrymaking. At its steps sat a purple short stack imp girl smoking a cigar of gold.

I gawked. ZJ had always been smoking hot and Alice cute like a button, but these people were goddamn supermodels. Exotic, non-human models.

Slowly, their eyes met mine and the chatter petered out, apart from the constant riot of base and cheers of revelry emanating from the imp’s apartment.

Oh geez, oh god. They’re all looking. I cleared my throat, daring somehow to slip out of my spawn point. 

“Hi?” I said, feeling like a total pervert exhibitionist. I wasn’t, of course, actually nude. System had been kind enough to provide me with a white dress. Plain enough by itself, but what modesty its long sleeves and inoffensive cleavage offered was lost twice again by the ultra-short hem and the paper-thin fabric that clung to my skin. My nipples not only stood out like two ‘fuck me’ buttons, but you could totally make out the shape, size, and color my areolae through the slightly transparent fabric. What’s more, said transparency made the black thong I wore underneath visible enough it might as well been glowing.

They weren’t the prettiest clothes I’d ever dreamt of trying on, not by a long stretch, but the way they made me feel…

Sexy? Desirable. Like a woman. And though it embarrassed the heck out of me, I could not deny that those gazes of desire and admiration didn’t send jolts of tingly feelings through my newly acquired girly bits.

“A newbie!” cheered one of the angels. They all but leapt off the fontain in a rush to encircle me with more tall gorgeous white angel curves than my poor brain could handle, shaking my hands vigorously one after another. Each of them had irises of burnt gold with cross-shaped pupils and identical hair so white it looked to be glowing with an internal light.

“Welcome to Lewdtut, I’m Irohenaes. Are you a cubi?” One with a tilted halo asked.

“They’re called Terran humans. Watch the news sometimes! Also, hi, I’m Balahiel.” I noted, to my immediate shame for having ogled so, that she was the most well endowed.

“Oroneine,” said the petitest of the bunch. Her halo looked way too big, wide like the brim of a sombrero.

Last to speak was the most traditionally gorgeous of them, a pristine shard of heavens made into temptation herself. “Please call me, Rachiel. You must be overwhelmed, poor sweetling. Please don’t hesitate to ask us for aid if you ever need anything.”

“Uh-huh.” I was overwhelmed alright, that offer had not been subtle. “I’m Gre— Uh, G-Gwen?”

“Aww, what a cute name. Nice to meet you, Gwenlyn,” purred Rachiel, sending a rush of something heady and fluffy straight through my heart. Cute. She called me cute! Gosh, I loved how she’d said Gwenlyn. I loved being Gwenlyn. I wished she’d call me that again.

“So what do Terrans humans do? Can you magic?”

“They can’t do magic. You were there this morning when we watched the broadcast!”

Oroneine cocked her head. “Cute.”

Steel yourself, poor heart of mine, I thought, trying hard to keep myself from looking like an easily swooned virgin that I was.

“Oh no, she’s looking confused. My sweet, Gwenlyn, you have so many questions after being transported here. Allow the Celestial Choir of Pause Alley to help you relax and come to terms with all these difficult new things and a new confusing world.” Rachiel’s arm wrapped around mine. Soft pressure of her veil-clad breasts made me draw a sharp breath.

My mind swam. Is this really happening? Angel fivesome?

“Gwenlyn, would you like to spend some time inside? Our home is comfortable and our bed wide enough to accommodate five.”

Heck-fucking-yeah! Let’s go!

“I—”

“Don’t answer that, kiddo. Angels have a way of enforcing promises you make,” grunted the blue horned giant.

“Whuh?”

“Gwenlyn, sweetlyn, don’t listen to the ugly man.” Rachiel tipped my chin towards her, making me feel tingly all over. “All we want to do is help you. I know you want us to.”

“By help, they mean newbie-snipe and ruin all chances of you ever making it big unless you wiggle your way up as an indie, which I wouldn’t recommend,” said the clay-red elf, raising his voice as he moved a piece on the board. “Oi, Saz! Aren’t you supposed to handle this shiz?”

The deep-purple lady imp, apparently called Saz, released a long puff of smoke in the shape of an orgy and shifted her prodigious hips to lean away from the gilded railing on her stairs. Her big silver eyes thinned at Redelf. “Fifty minute break. Don’t talk to me, maggot.”

 “And doesn’t look like Hipss is waking up anytime soon,” added Bluehorn. “Looks like you’re outta luck, kiddo. Have fun joining the choir.”

“W-what do you mean joining the choir?”

The two men returned to their board game.

“Shhh, don’t you worry my Gwenlyn sweetlyn.” Rachiel pulled me closer, her lush golden lips all but brushing mine. “The jealous only seek to confuse you further. We will explain everything to you.”

Hot or not, there was a hidden edge of danger to that purr of hers. A clinginess looking for another to latch onto, something I’d already escaped once before. I didn’t need to know how this world worked to know it was bad news. I hadn’t suicided by embarrassment and killed my chances of being something other than a pervert in front of my only friends to end up in that situation again. Angel fivesome wasn’t why I’d picked Lewd tutorial.

“M-maybe later. I just remembered I had something- I need to find my friends waiting for me,” I lied, swiftly ducking under Rachiel’s arm, shutting out her seductions, and all but bolted out of the alley, bumping into a hard slab of eight feet of green amazonian muscle when I ran into the main artery.

“Sorry!” I mumbled, quickly backing off, stumbling into an ethereally beautiful man of onyx skin and red eyes.

“Watch where you tread, youngling.”

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“Sorry. Sorry!” 

I bumbled into several more shoulders and elbows before finding a refuge beside a shop entrance. Not having people naturally give way to me was new, almost as weird as not being able to see past the crowd. My new girly self wasn’t short by any means, something of an average height for a woman, but being average height was enough to turn a sea of heads into an imposing wall of movement, too thick and too fast for me to wade through. I managed maybe half a block, before the crowd forced me to take refuge against a wall.

Stuck and pondering how small people were supposed to walk through crowds, my gaze wandered above people’s heads, eyes widening in awe. “Wow…”

Like the crowd flowing through it, the city’s main artery was a patchwork of beauty — a hundred flavors knit together by a palette of cozy colors. Modern storefronts of glass were framed by intricately carved archways of and lifelike statues made into pillars. Garden-bridges and Babylonian terraces climbed up tens of stories high, spilling floral vines and vibrant green from the web of fused-together buildings, leaning towers, and entire neighborhoods on built bridges connecting the colossal buildings. A massive animated graffiti of a half-naked medusa snaked up the side of an apartment complex, shifting from one seducing pose to another to market a set of what the text assured me was genuine Transforming Lingerie, 30% off. A baffling mix of modern convenience and wonder and magic infused every breath and brick around me.

Gawking, I marveled at the shops. Tiny spirits of cream swam playfully in the cups of a nearby cafe. Another restaurant overflowed with an animated jungle, lush with ripe fruits hanging over the guests and tended to by beautiful waitresses with leafy skin and flowers for hair, while a man cooked with utensils far too small for his muscular hands. Between the two spilled onto the street the lesser treasures of a dark brown pawnshop choking with exotic and antique. Further inside, shelves full of gem-studded books leaned against an ornate glass vitrine stuffed with dust-coated elixirs, leaving a path so narrow that I bet half the people in this crowd couldn’t make it all the way to the counter.

Drinking in the sights around me, I turned slowly to stare at the display behind me. Sun came at just the right angle to make it an almost perfect mirror.

“Damn…”

Big eyes, more honey than brown, blinked at me. The girl before me had small smart brows and soft features and cheeks so perfectly pinchable that I couldn’t resist. “Ghehee…” Gosh, even a silly face looked illegally cute. No, not merely cute. Adorable. “Hehe!” My smug giggling intensified, as did my grin, further intensifying the cuteness and thus began a death spiral of self admiration.

That grin got swept under a full blown Apocalypse-level blush, when the Sun shifted fraction of an angle and the reflective window turned see through. An entire orgy of mannequins posed on the other side, their bodies clad in more lingerie, latex, and bondage than my small mind could conceive! Camilla’s Cursed Garments, said the big label above the ship. Smaller price tags cleared up the mysteries of each individual piece. Self-Bondage Harness, Teasing Lace, Stockings of Stumbling, Wand of Random Erections, Veil of Random Blinding, Sleepsack of Helplessness, Choker of Soft Choking…

“Oh gosh, oh gosh.” I clutched my thumping heart, my eyes rowing over the sights almost as fast as my imagination.

“Mmm, a new little butterfly flutters by Camilla’s web.” The mellow voice snapped my attention to a woman leaning at the entrance. A pale white spider-woman in a pair of dark purple suit pants, collared shirt, and a vest cut close to her frame. Two of her arms were folded under a massive bust, one supported her at the hip, two trailed the doorframe, and one played with her fangs. Two purple eyes with black sclera peered at me from behind a pair of smart business-woman spectacles, while the other six were tightly shut. She shifted to the side, the smooth silent motions of her body at once one of feminine elegance and predatory grace.

I struggled to tear my eyes away. Why’s everyone so hot? I needed to get fucked, fast and hard, or I’d fall victim to my own horniness before I could figure out how this world worked.

“I-I don’t have money,” I said elegantly.

She smiled. “Mm. No pockets for coin in newbie clothes.”

Conversation tapered. I began shuffling awkwardly, struggling to match the continuous eye-contact. “Um…”

“Mm?”

What the heck. She seemed nice enough. Maybe she could point me in the right direction. “So, how does this work?” I asked.

“Coin is offered. A cursed item is received. Refunds for half, if the item is still pristine.”

“The tutorial, I mean. It, the system, didn’t give me any instructions or anything. What are we supposed to do now? What can we do? The System didn’t give me any tips, but there’s supposed to be… uh, adventuring?”

“Mmm. Who knows? More opinions than flies nowadays. Dungeons are an easy start. Quick to learn.”

“Like a place with monsters and such that give you treasures and points?” And monster sex and peril, especially monster sex and peril, though I refrained from voicing those. 

Not that Camilla didn’t see straight through me, if the knowing deepening of her smile was any indication. “Mmm. Smart little butterfly. Flutter the corner behind medusa, skitter two blocks north, and crawl under the sign that says ‘Ruinous Ruins’. Hard to miss. One advice from an old crawler: Play the stories, not the actors.”

“What do you mean-”

She turned away to welcome an athletic blonde elf clad in a scarlet bodysuit that tode a thin line between cool assassin cosplay and latex doll. After a bit of embarrassed ogling, and a few oh goshes, I wandered in the directions Camilla had given, passing by the medusa painting and two blocks of mostly like insurance offices and printing presses. I don’t know what I expected the Dungeon to be like. More dungeony maybe?

The entrance was in an alley between a Bound & Found (whatever that was) and a cozy little adventuring supply and souvenir shoppe called Ruinous Preparations. There were several benches at the alley, a huge quest pinboard, and a small party playing that same board-game as the two guys in my starter alley. The entryway itself was a rusted iron gate in a dilapidated wall of large moss-kissed stones, which, even against the patchwork of architecture around it, stuck out like buttshorts in winter.

Some kind of barrier overlapped with the iron gate. Ripples blurred the other side, but I could make out the shapes of ruined fortifications climbing up a steep sloped mountain set against a natural view that had no place existing in the middle of a city. An instance of some kind? A pocket dimension?

The gate creaked when opened and a screen popped up. 

 

[Ruinous Ruins. Lvl 1 Lewd tutorial dungeon. Enter at your own peril. (All experiences automatically calibrated to subconscious user preferences by Sexcapades Incorporated. Contact legal team at Pi-el-ti-u for any errors in the consent system.)]

 

Oh my, I gasped a hitched breath. This was what I’d signed up for, this was straight out of my most depraved fantasies, which now flitted through my thoughts like a riotous flock of drunken birds. Arousal smoldered under the all too short hem of my dress. My breathing grew shorter and my lips dried. This was what I’d signed up for, but did I really dare to submit myself to be ravished by monsters of alien masterminds that had teleported the population of Earth into weird ass Tutorials? The more I thought about it, the worse the idea seemed. Trepidation seized my insides like an iron claw, warring with the heat throbbing against my panties. Before doubts could start churning my thoughts to mush, I forced one feet in front of another and leapt through.

For a brief moment, the world warped and twisted. My slender sandal landed on mossy courtyard enjoying a warm day heavy with scents of grass and summer.

 

[Welcome to Ruinous Ruins, adventurer. Explore and enjoy!]

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