Chapter 31: Fraud Prince

All my life, I’ve only ever been afraid.

I was born the crowned prince of Japan. People might think that I would have had a silver spoon in my mouth, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth.

The Emperor is nothing but a puppet, a figurehead with no rights to speak of. All of the political power is focused in the palms of the angels, and we of the royal lineage had nothing more to do than wag our tails at them begging for mercy while they took the praise for all of the good things that happened and blamed us on all the misfortune that fell on the people. Naturally, the family didn’t take that lightly, and so we secretly plotted a rebellion against the angels.

I don’t know when, but our clan got our hands on the weapon to fight against God – one of the legendary crosses that houses a Demon of great power. However, the Demon was a fickle creature. None of the family could use its strength, or rather, it refused to take anyone as its master. Thinking that it was a matter of ability, the family then devised a plan to create the perfect vessel that the Demon couldn’t refuse. I, along with all of my brothers and sisters, was chosen for the next phase of this plan.

Day after day, we were put into hellish training. Martial arts, swordsmanship, spear handling, archery, and horseback riding for physical activities. And then afterwards came arithmetic, calligraphy, poetry, war tactics, oil painting, and koto lessons. Miss one, and you’re beaten to near death. Fail one, and you’re not getting any food or water for that day. Unless you passed the day with the highest marks in everything, everyone slept in the stables. To this day, I can still remember that sharp pain in my hands bleeding out thanks to the koto strings, that burning sensation of the katana slicing at my body, or the constant state of having my head almost explode as I looked at nothing but numbers and letters for the whole day. Every day was a living hell, but to us, hell was considered a nicer place than this, because at least we could die there, and not live this inhuman life.

I wanted to break free of that hell. But I was too afraid of actually doing it. My brothers and sisters all thought of it at least once, but everyone that attempted their grand escape didn’t return. Ironic, isn’t it? Even though I thought of the place as a living hell, in the end, I didn’t dare to throw my life away for real and instead chose to live forever as a phantom, forever not knowing the warmth of the sun.

Then came Otsuya-san.

She had always been my most treasured person, because out of all our caretakers, she was the one to actually showed kindness to us, to actually got mad for us when she saw us being treated that way.

“Your Highness, do you want to escape this place?” I would always remember the words she told me that night.

Naturally, I nodded. And our escape began.

Not a single complex strategy. Otsuya-san just simply killed all of the guards that stood in her way, stole the cross that was meant for one of us, and carried me away as fast as the wind itself.

“Otsuya-san…” In my mind back then were two different emotions: the joy of finally being free, and the guilt of leaving the others behind so that I could live.

“Don’t worry, Your Highness. The only thing that matters is that you’re alive and free.”

 We then ran far away from the palace, to this small town in Nagoya. It was here that we decided to rid ourselves of our past to live a normal life. And thus, the boy named “Katsu” was born.

“Fujiwara Nobukatsu. That would be your new name from now on.” Otsuya-san’s words echoed within me as I remembered her radiant smile that day.

“Nobukatsu?”

“ ‘Nobu’ in Nobunaga, your fabled ancestor that once ruled Japan. ‘Katsu’ for victory, in hope that no matter how much hardship you would later experience, in the end, victory would always be yours. Do you like it?”

“Thank you, Otsuya-san.”

“Call me ‘Mother’ from now on… Katsu.”

In the end, I could never say the word “Mother” in front of her, not even in her final moments as she sacrificed herself for my safety. I couldn’t accept the new family she brought me, so I chose a life of serving instead. I grew my hair in fear of being discovered as a relic of the past. It caused me to be mistaken for a girl a lot since my body was rather slender and my face already resembled that of a female, but I’d rather that than get reminded of what I had to go through. But in the end, nothing was enough to save me. I lived my new life in a happy, loving family, but I never felt like I truly belonged.

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In the end, it would have been better if I had chosen to die in an attempt to escape along with my brothers and sisters.

Then, an unexpected turn came into my life. In the form of a foreign girl.

She bore the same kind of cross as Otsuya-san, but her mission was set on a much grander scale. In her eyes, I could see a pure soul that wants to see the good in everyone she meets, although hidden deep within was still a jaded dark side that she had experienced. My master and adoptive father, Ushiwaka-san, took her in with ease and vowed to help her with her goals. Because of my duty as a servant, I also went to help her, but in my mind, I could never see it come to fruition. Like the fire she makes on her spears, she was shining too bright, too radiant for me to understand.

Two years later, she even managed to retrieve Otsuya-san’s cross. Her story of how she got it was unbelievable, but the fact still remained that it was in her hand. It felt like the stars had aligned for her to achieve her goals, no matter how improbable. And that sickened me. Perhaps it was the Demon inside the cross enticing me to do it. Perhaps it was my own darkness within my heart all along. But I was disgusted by her success. I wanted to see her fail. And in that spur of the moment, I did the unthinkable.

I knew that Otsuya-san’s child, Musa-chan, was listening in on us. However, I pretended to not notice and continued to show Petra how to hide the cross. I knew that, with his personality, Musa-chan wouldn’t resist the chance of having power in his hands. I knew how dangerous that cross could be, and how fickle the Demon inside of it was, but I wanted to see the two of them fail. I wanted them to know that sometimes, things don’t just go your way.

I was right, but I was too blinded that I didn’t notice the price that we all had to pay.

The Demon woke up, and it took Musa-chan’s body. As Ushiwaka-san was visiting us again, it killed him in an instant. Looking at the blood splashing on the floor triggered all sorts of trauma within me, and, in a pathetic showing, I could only cower in fear, blocking all of my senses in hope that it was just a nightmare. But the Demon waited for no one and had it not been for Petra to intervene in time, I would have been a goner.

Time and time again, I was faced with death. But time and time again, death seemed to have evaded me. I don’t know if I have to call it a blessing or a curse, but I know one thing for sure, it’s that I was still glad to be alive, no matter how much pain and suffering it might be for others.

And this time, it’s still no different.

The Demon easily overpowers Petra. All hope seems to have been lost. But, as I’m at my lowest again in my life, a voice calls out once more, like a ray of light piercing through the darkness:

“Stop… Demon… You won’t hurt my family anymore!”

My adoptive brother, who I always deemed to be immature, charges forward. It’s a suicide attempt. I know that. As a servant, as an older brother, I have to stop him.

But for some reason, my body doesn’t move.

For some reason, hearing the wind slicing through his small frame brings a feeling of relief within me. For some reason, seeing him needlessly throwing away his life gives me a feeling of safety.

Oda Petoro, you’re a horrible person. No, you’re not even a person anymore. You’re no less than the angels and demons themselves.

I’m sorry, Otsuya-san. I’m sorry for not being worthy of your sacrifice.

I’m sorry, Petra, Ushiwaka-san, and Musa-chan. In a fit of jealousy, I’ve become the cause of your deaths.

And now, here I am, still, the only one left alive, even when I should be the one that deserves to die the most.

A fitting end, to a fool of a prince.

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