Chapter 142: Book Three Chapter Two: FrostProof_Clothing

The Chosen One snapped back to attention as soon as they reached the entrance gate of Cobbletown.

 

“Hey,” he said, looking down at Qube. “Anything cool happen?”

 

Qube, by now used to the Chosen One’s slang, shrugged.

 

“Nothing unusual,” she said, “although some birds were flying strangely. Also, several of the trees seemed to be having trouble shedding their leaves, and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and Sewer Bard —” she paused, trying to think about the nicest way to phrase what had happened — “had a lot of fun talking to each other and both are a bit overexcited.”

 

“Wait, you guys can talk to each other when I’m fast travelling?” the Chosen One asked, startled. “Also, you’re all awake during it? When did that happen?”

 

“Just now,” Qube reassured him. “It used to be very peaceful and quiet.” She instantly felt guilty about the implied criticism of her friends, and shot a look to see if they were paying attention.

 

“That wooden gate isn’t the only thing that’s—” Sewer Bard was saying to an enraptured Sexy Screamy Spider Lady.

 

Good, they were preoccupied with talking nonsense to each other.

 

“I enjoy spending time with everyone, of course,” Qube added, to soothe her own feelings of guilt as much as anything else, “but peacefulness is sometimes nice.”

 

“Fair enough,” the Chosen One said, walking past the blue-clad city guards that were, once again, welcoming him to Cobbletown. As soon as they crossed the threshold into the city, the faint, ever-present music Qube had recently started hearing changed into a chipper, upbeat tempo.

 

“You could go have some peaceful time now, if you wanted.” He looked over at the rest of the party, who were following him. “What did you lot want to do then?” he asked.

 

“Definitely Bad Guy still requires his personal quest to be fulfilled,” Sewer Bard said unexpectedly. “I believe that should be our priority, as much as it pains me to cut short our visit to this lovely place.”

 

“He needs it fulfilled—” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady cut herself off, before continuing in a less sultry tone, “I agree.” Her claws flexed before she added: “We only have one more Temple that requires completion, so we’ll be needing his powerful new spell.”

 

The Mage looked at Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady with an unreadable expression.

 

“You are correct,” he said eventually, his voice sounding slightly stifled. He cleared his throat. “I had not expected such support in my quest. I had hoped to use the time to examine the artefacts we’d—”

 

“Of course, Sparky!” the Chosen One interrupted cheerfully, clapping the smaller man on the back. “Time to go on your side quest!” He swivelled in place and started marching back out of Cobbletown.

 

“Chosen One, you still need to hand in the item from the Light Temple,” Qube reminded the Hero.

 

“Of course!” he repeated, and swung around again back towards Cobbletown. “That was what I meant to do!”

 

“We will also require specialised clothing in order to withstand the elements,” Definitely Bad Guy warned. 

 

“To the tailor!” the Chosen One cried, swivelling to the left. “Then the inn, then some light shopping, and then we power up our magic man!”

 

---

 

“It says here we need frost-resistant clothing,” the Chosen One said, staring off into space. “Where exactly did you say we needed to go?”

“The Wizards’ Academy,” Definitely Bad Guy replied. “It is a cluster of Wizard Towers located where the highest peaks brush against the sky. It is unforgivably cold.”

 

Something was odd about the way he’d said that last thing. Qube looked at the Mage, who was idly weaving fire through his fingers.

 

“Have you been there before? You must have, in order to become the best Mage in all the lands!” she said.

 

The redheaded man raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“I am not the best Mage in all the lands,” he corrected her.

 

“What?” Qube frowned. She could have sworn that he was the best Mage in all the lands! She couldn’t remember if that was something that he’d said, or the Exiled Prince had claimed, or if she’d just assumed that because he was the Mage Advisor, he was the best in the kingdom. Why would the Evil Emperor want someone who wasn’t the best to advise him? That just seemed like a good way to get overthrown by whoever was the best.

 

Which would be a good thing, obviously. But it just seemed stupid. And the Evil Emperor had proven himself many things, but stupid wasn’t one she had labelled him.

 

Although now she thought about it, leaving alive someone who was prophesied to kill him and murdering almost all his friends just because the Evil Emperor didn’t believe in that particular prophecy seemed like a really bad idea. 

 

Unless the reason he’d called the Golden Prophecy a false prophecy was that he didn’t believe in prophecies at all? No. No, that was madness. He had to be operating under his own prophecy.

 

But, theoretical dark prophecy aside, it still seemed like asking for trouble to give a powerful enemy nothing to lose and a very good reason to seek vengeance against you, no matter how bored you were or how interesting you thought it would be. Surely running a kingdom full of people who resented him for overthrowing their rightful rulers was interesting enough! Why did he need to go around burning down villages just for extra interest?

 

It was tempting to just throw her hands up and say, “Well, it’s because he’s Evil so he just does bad or stupid things,” but that wasn’t enough. People did things for reasons that made sense to them, and ignoring that fact was a recipe for arrogance.

 

“I was merely the best Mage left alive and available to the Evil Emperor,” Definitely Bad Guy continued, pulling her thoughts back to the topic at hand. “The other Wizards at the academy would not have been able or interested in fulfilling my various…” he paused, clearly searching for the right word, “duties. Those within the court who objected were executed, so, since he needed Mages, he took several magic users, myself included, and placed us in his court.”

 

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“How did you end up working for the Exiled Prince and Exiled Princess?” Qube asked.

 

“After the coup, they approached me and requested my assistance,” he said. “At that point I was merely assistant to the resident Mage Advisor. She attempted to double cross the Evil Emperor, which led to my promotion.”

 

He hesitated again, and noticed that the entire party was listening in on the conversation.

 

“Regardless,” he said, with a little cough, “this equipment will be vital to our survival.”

 

Was that why the Mage always wore such revealing robes? Had he spent years bundled up in warm clothing, and so just wanted to feel the sun on his skin, and not be so confined? Qube felt a tug in her heart as her understanding of a fellow party member deepened. Really, there were depths to everyone around her that she’d never expected!

 

“Four frost-resistant outfits please,” the Chosen One said to the tailor, who was busy glaring at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. The Hunter hadn’t actually flung anything off one of the shelves or anything — she’d been getting a lot better at managing her form — but the way she was loudly complaining that the tailor didn't have any outfits that worked for Squiggles seemed to be annoying the clothes-maker.

 

“I specifically requested something that would help her express her inner self,” the arachnid was saying, holding the mildly drooling sharktopus. “Look at this darling. Shouldn’t she be given the chance to wear whatever she wants?”

 

The tailor just glared at the pair of them, utterly unmoved by Squiggles’s puppy-dog-eyed stare, and batted away a questing tentacle that was attempting to steal a reel of red ribbon sitting on the counter.

 

“I don’t know how you would want me to dress something like that,” the tailor said scornfully. “Take it outside. No pets allowed.”

 

Qube decided she didn’t like the tailor. Not only did they have a very strange selling policy, but now they were hurting Squiggles’s feelings!

 

“The four outfits will be eight hundred gold,” the tailor said, abruptly turning away from the rest of the party to face the Chosen One.

 

The Hero made a small, pained sound.

 

“Chosen One, I’ll also need one,” Qube said, adding to his financial agony. “We can do some small quests from the Adventure’s Board if there isn’t enough money,” she said, worriedly watching his anguish. While she still hadn’t figured out how to put on new clothes and make them look different, she didn’t want to be left out and potentially unable to go to the Wizards’ Academy just because she didn’t have the right outfit!

 

“No,” the Chosen One said with a sigh, “we have more than enough money. I’m just being dramatic.” He narrowed his eyes at the tailor. “Although… Hey, clothes person. What about if I promise to tell everyone you’re the best at clothes in this place and that you have my seal of approval? I am the Chosen One, after all.”

 

“I’m the only tailor in Cobbletown,” the shopkeeper replied frostily.

 

“Well, what if I set up a rival tailor shop and ran you out of business?” the Chosen One asked belligerently. “Then I’d get all your customers. Just cuz you wouldn’t give me a discount.”

 

The tailor looked more confused than threatened by this threat.

 

“Anyway, make it five outfits for eight hundred and you’ve got a deal,” the Chosen One finished triumphantly.

 

“Five outfits is one thousand gold,” the tailor said, utterly ignoring the Chosen One’s shenanigans. The Chosen One pouted.

 

“Man, you’re no fun,” he said to the shopkeeper, before pulling out a bag of coins and dropping it on the counter. The shopkeeper, making no further conversation, handed over what looked like a single, folded-up outfit, which disappeared as soon as the Hero touched it.

 

“Do you think the heating-magic or whatever will make me overheat in here?” the Chosen One asked a confused Qube. “Lemme try it!”

 

His outfit suddenly switched to a light blue, fur-lined version. Looking around, Qube saw that the rest of the party had also instantly switched into their new clothes. Sewer Bard’s now blue tunic seemed just as poofy even with the heavier material, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s off-the-shoulder top failed to gain so much as a second sleeve and, despite her earlier thoughts, Definitely Bad Guy’s new robes revealed just as much chest and tattoo as before.

 

Part of Qube wanted to ask how one single outfit had not only become four totally different outfits, but how everyone had managed to gain theirs without the Chosen One giving them anything. She knew that he could hand out individual outfits; she’d seen him do so with the fireproof ones. So when he wanted to, he could absolutely separate out things. But here, he hadn’t. Why?

 

“Here,” the Chosen One said, handing her what looked like the bundle the tailor had just given him. It hadn’t decreased in size at all from having four outfits removed from it. “Try this on.”

 

A section of her mind was still frantically trying to figure out if this was some kind of spatial magic, possibly involving connected pocket dimensions, as she accepted the package.

 

“Thank you,” she said graciously, despite her inner gibbering. “I’ll try putting it on once I get a chance at some privacy. Will we be visiting Aurora Abode?”

 

“Nah,” the Chosen One said, dismissing the home that Qube had involuntarily acquired through helping a ghost. “We’ll check it out after this. I kinda wanna get Definitely Bad Guy up to speed with the rest of us, since it feels like he’s got the most growing left to do. Hopefully he’ll grow in a less creepy direction after his side quest.”

 

Definitely Bad Guy, standing directly next to the Chosen One, looked mildly annoyed.

 

“It will give me an opportunity to learn a new spell, and increase my magic,” the Mage said stiffly. “This will enable me to grow as a member of the team.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I meant,” the Chosen One said, giving Qube a look and shaking his head slightly. “But with like, a less creepy spell. The making skin boil and other curse stuff? Little creepy, dude. Curses are gross.”

 

“We should go to the Wizards’ Academy!” Qube cut off the conversation, desperately trying to change the subject before anyone’s feelings got even more hurt. “Come on!”

 

She started to hustle the party out of the shop before she stopped, and sheepishly turned around.

 

“Um, which way is the academy?”

 

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