Chapter 4: 4. Advancement

The next morning, I wake up as usual, and rush to school.

Before leaving, I run my new regular routine of testing out if my power's strength has grown, and I run some basic measurements on my body's health.

Everything seems normal. There's no sign that it's been weakened by anything.

It's the same as always.

The strength of my power though, has continued it's daily increase. Already, after not even a week of discovering my newfound ability, I'm already capable of lifting a whole 50 grams. In the span of less than five days, my limit has already increase by a multitude of 10.

 

As I ride to school with Jun, I can't help but think about what exactly I could use my power for.

What I could change.

I mean, currently it's still nothing impressive, but in a few months—a few years?

I've been thinking about it a lot, but I've been unable to decide on an exact course of action.

Politics, business, money, military. . . subjugation? Revolution?

Heh, I almost can't help but laugh at imagining some of the possibilities.

All of them are potential paths I could walk down, my power could give me an unparalleled advantage over any opposition—so long as it's strong enough. But ultimately, none of them would give me the options to change anything drastic.

It's something I've been struggling with almost everyday since I first confirmed this power was real.

What is right, what is just?

Crime, corruption, greed, destruction, murder.

All evil, all sins that plague humanity. Even if you consciously turn a blind eye to it, try to ignore it, the evil parts of humanity will still influence you in some way.

Is wiping out crime—evil—the best path forward to save humanity? I don't know. Certainly there are crimes which are inconsequential, and crimes which are irredeemable. The kind of humans that commit unspeakable acts—unforgivable sins, should they be allowed to continue their existence, even at the cost of countless innocent victims?

No matter how I think about it, the only way to truly save innocent people from facing those threats—is to ensure that the people who commit those kinds of evil are incapable of doing so. But that would leave me with little choice but to eliminate the humans who commit such acts.

Is that right? Is that what justice is? Should I be the one to use my power to eliminate the existential threats to innocent beings? Just because I have this power?

I don't know.

I've thought about that question for years, what I could do to change things. It always felt so incomprehensibly far away, I never had to come up with the specifics.

There was never even a clear path I could potentially walk.

 

But I do have a clear answer.

My goal isn't truly to destroy anyone. My goal is to protect. To ensure their safety, their future. But no matter how many times I go over it in my head—there is no path that doesn't involve some degree of violence. . .death.

If I am to achieve that, then yes, I must kill others. If I'm not willing to sacrifice someone else's life to preserve the lives of potentially millions—then I shouldn't use my powers at all.

Even if I wanted to use my power for some greater good only—I don't believe it's truly possible. No matter what I try, no matter what I imagine myself accomplishing, I'd always end up killing some along the way.

At least, that's what I think.

Maybe someday, I'll find a solution that allows me to avoid sacrificing anyone, but for now, I'm stuck with the reality that I cannot possibly achieve my goals without harming others.

I suppose I don't even have enough information to actually determine the best path forward, the path to the future where humans can live without suffering. I don't even know if I'm alone—if I'm the only person with this kind of power.

I know that regardless of whether or not I'm alone, I'm not going to give up. Even if there are others who have this kind of power, I won't surrender myself to them—nor will I submit to them.

The best path forward for now, is to continue growing my power—gain enough strength that I don't have to bow to any other psychics.

If there are other psychics, and they've submitted themselves to the countries of this world—to the corrupt leaders of this world, I won't allow them to act as they wish, and if they're determined to preserve the current form of the world. . . If they're incapable of accepting a better future. . . I won't show mercy.

I won't act while only seeking quarrel—but I won't allow the current rulers to shape the world to as they wish.

And if there aren't others like me. . . Then all the better—that would make things much easier.

And if there are others who also seek the same goal that I do—the same world that I do, I hope that I'll be able to convince them to acknowledge me.

If I'm wrong, then I'm willing to accept whatever punishment comes along with it.

Whatever fate awaits me, I must remain steadfast. I refuse to give up on humanity.

Humanity deserves to live unhindered by suffering—fear—destruction. If it's truly impossible to change, we'll one day destroy ourselves—and everyone's suffering—everyone's hope—will all be meaningless.

For now though, I guess I have more immediate concerns.

***

"Fate, Ritsuko, let's go."

Jun turns back to face us, he waves his hands, and the doors open once again.

It's time for the exams, and Jun appears to be ready to get started.

We step inside, and find our seats.

Everyone else seems to be taking this seriously today. They're all dressed in their uniforms, and appear to be focused. Everyone looks nervous, and tense.

They probably aren't expecting the tests to be easy—they'd expect them to be hard, considering the amount of studying they've done leading up to these exams.

I can understand why they're so stressed, and nervous. Being born as one of the upper class in New Eden is undoubtedly a blessing compared to the alternative, but failing to meet the expectation of your guardians can be a quick way to lose everything.

That said, as one of the people who has already failed in the regard—I suppose that even if I place first, I don't have much to be proud of.

 

The test went about as easily as I expected. There wasn't anything that I didn't expect to be there. We'll apparently get the results by the end of the day.

After finishing the exam, I sit there waiting for my result, and watching everyone else finish theirs.

Ritsuko finishes hers quickly, she's been doing well on her studies lately, and I haven't heard anything from her about having any problems.

She sits there quietly looking around at all the students surrounding us. She glances over at me, and smiles. Her eyes light up, and I return it.

Jun is also one of the first to finish. What feels like hours later, the teacher finally announces that anyone who has already finished may be excused for the remainder of the day; but we must stay on campus.

As soon as we leave, Jun walks over to me.

"How did you do?" He asks me.

"Pretty good, I think," I tell him. "Nothing that surprised me."

"Really?!" Jun exclaims. Then he takes a deep breath, and continues, "Good job."

I can't help but notice that he's a bit gloomy—nervous maybe. Whether that's from him having issues with the exam—or the fact that he's leaving for Europe as soon as school is over, I can't say.

Either way, he seems happy to hear that I performed well, so I smile.

He returns the gesture.

We don't have a lot of time before school is over, and Jun has to leave. So I slowly make my way over to Ritsuko to check in on any preparations she made for Jun's send off.

"Hey, Ritsuko." She jumps slightly upon hearing my voice.

I didn't mean to startle her.

"Oh hey Fate, yeah I'm fine," she responds.

"Did you make any plans for Jun on your end?"

"Yeah, I had some things planned. . ." She pauses. "Actually, um... I'm kinda sorry. Um..."

Her shoulders droop, and her expression becomes sad.

Huh?

Ritsuko's usually the most over-prepared person imaginable for these kind of events.

When I hadn't heard anything from her, I reserved a club room, but I assumed she'd tell me the plan she came up with—at some point.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Well, uhm, I didn't have much time—So I had to ask Honoka to prepare a gift, but I forgot to make preparations for a venue."

Ah, so she asked her personal attendant, but forgot the other part.

"Don't worry about it, I reserved a room in the club building, there's nothing to be concerned about, it's fine, really." I try my best to reassure her everything's okay, but she's pale enough you'd think something was seriously wrong.

She needs to relax.

"Mm, thanks. That makes me feel better," she says weakly. After a moment of silence, she adds: "Sorry, I should have done it myself."

"You've been busy," I explain.

"Yes, well, thank you." She manages a small smile. "Let's go."

***

The rest of the day passes by quietly.

The send off for Jun was a bit chaotic—you'd think he was the crown prince or something, with all the fuss they were making over him.

Afterwards though, as we walk home together. . .

"So you placed first again.  Congratulations." 

He probably knows I didn't study anywhere near as much as him, yet this is the result.

"Thanks."

A silence sets in as we continue our walk—before he breaks the silence again.

"Thank you, for everything today." Jun says. His tone is serious.

"It was no problem at all."

His words sound sincere, but his eyes look distant.

There's obviously something bothering him.

I want to ask what's up, but I hesitate. I'm unsure if it's related to his Europe trip—or something I can't bring up casually.

I wait patiently for him to speak.

Eventually, he does.

"Um, Fate. Uh, I wanted to talk to you about something."

I nod, and keep walking alongside him.

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"Uh, about what?" I inquire cautiously.

"About my future. About what I want to do."

I stop in my tracks. "Your future?" I echo.

He nods, and keeps talking.

"I've been thinking about it recently, I've never really been interested in anything. I always thought I'd just inherit my family's business and that'd be the end of it."

He stops for a second, and sighs.

"I think becoming friends with you changed that. I never cared about anything in particular—never bothered. I didn't care about the way people treated me—the way they bullied me, because it wouldn't matter in the end."

Jun looks down at the ground, and continues speaking.

"And then you saved me. You didn't care about the consequences, yet you helped me. . . I'd never done anything for you—to expect that kind of help."

He looks up at me. "But you still did it anyway."

Jun shakes his head, and looks back down. He speaks softly, almost hesitantly.

"I don't know why exactly. Maybe you saw yourself in me? Or maybe you didn't see anyone else helping, so you decided to do it instead."

Jun stares ahead, and starts walking again.

"Maybe you just knew someone needed to. . . No, probably both."

He falls silent after saying those last few sentences. The air between us feels heavy, like we're standing in front of an abyss. I take a slow breath—before I can say anything, he continues.

"Fate, I want to help people. I want to be like Rise."

Jun suddenly turns towards me, and meets my gaze directly.

"I know what I want to do now. I want to become strong enough that I can save people who need saving. I want to be able to fight against injustice. I want to be capable of protecting the weak."

A cold shiver runs through my body when he mentions fighting. It's a strange feeling—one I've experienced before. When I use my power, I imagine using it to do the same, some day.

I'm afraid.

I don't want him to be like me.

I want to say something to change his mind—I know it won't do anything.

"I want to become an investigator, a police investigator. Then I could help people like you helped me, protect people that were like me."

My heart aches as he tells me this. But I can't deny it—he wants to help people too. In his own way.

It's probably the right decision for him.

I'm sure of it.

Still, I have mixed feelings about it.

He'll undoubtedly see the darkness in the world, the darkness in humanity.

I wonder how many victims he'll have to investigate before he decides that the world itself is evil.

I don't want to put him in danger.

I'm not even certain that he will be safe.

I fear for him—for his safety.

For all humans' futures.

Maybe he could see the world like Rise does—not as I do.

I suppose I could try to change his mind—it'll be years before he can even begin training for that kind of career. I already feel that it'll be a fruitless endeavor.

"Do you believe in fate?" I ask him.

"No. Not really." He shrugs, and continues walking beside me.

"Why?"

"Because I think that there are things in life that we can control—things that happen based on our decisions, and other times things just occur regardless of whether we want them to or not."

"Hmm," I reply. "Does that mean you think you're destined to become an investigator?"

"Not necessarily. I could decide to do something different."

"Like what?" I press further.

"I don't know—I never wanted anything else."

A silence soon sets in when he says that. Neither of us knows where to go next.

I of all people don't have the right to tell him to change his idea.

The best thing I could do as a friend, is encourage him, and push him towards his goal.

As someone who wants to protect him, and keep him away from danger, I should push him away from his goal.

"Are you sure about this?" I ask him.

"Yes." Jun replies immediately.

"I'm glad." I try to reply sincerely. "Just remember to take care of yourself first."

"I will." He nods solemnly. Then he puts on a forced grin.

"Besides, if I'm going to be investigating crimes, there's bound to be some pretty interesting ones. And it sounds fun!"

Jun laughs. He's trying to lighten the mood, but it doesn't work very well.

"Stay safe in Europe, Jun. And look after yourself. Remember to call, okay?"

"Okay." He nods again. "Thanks, Fate. I'm sure we'll be back together again soon, and it'll be like nothings changed. Goodbye, for now."

He gives me a quick hug before we part ways.

***

In the end, Jun goes abroad without any trouble.

Having made it home, my mindset can finally change.

I've entirely cleared my schedule as much as I can. Now that I no longer have school to worry about, and I've cleared my obligations—I can truly focus on the future.

Now, I have one purpose. One single goal. Gain strength—increase the power of my ability.

I'm finally free, at least for now. I'll focus solely on gaining more power, nothing else matters anymore.

I'll spend every waking minute practicing, until I reach the limit of my potential.

Then I'll move onto the next step.

***

It's been two days since Jun left for Europe.

Since then I haven't gone out of my way to meet with anyone—I've been spending my time alone in my apartment.

Practicing my telekinesis every possible second.

It's hard, especially when I'm tired—but I force myself to continue.

I've been doing this nonstop ever since I got home. It feels like everything hurts, but I ignore it. My mind is focused only on reaching the next level.

The side effects of overuse are still very present, but so far, the tests I've been running on my body have been completely unchanged. I thought that after a few days, I'd be able to notice some sort of pattern, but so far—nothing has changed.

I need more data, but for now, this power doesn't seem to have a direct affect on my body. Which is good news I suppose. But it doesn't help me come up with a solution for the sort of "hangover" I feel every time I overuse my power.

The only positive bit of news is that my strength has continued to increase.

***

It's already been a week since I started this training regiment.

I wake up, eat, shower, and then I begin a day of manipulating objects, meditating, and manipulating objects again.

To my joy, my growth rate has at least somewhat made up for the pain I've been perpetually stuck with.

Still—I've been completely unable to link the side effects of overusing this power to any changes in my body. On one hand, I should be discouraged that I'm incapable of finding some link that could lead to me curing the side effects.

Except. Over the last week, I've noticed that the pain has been slowly decreasing. I think that it was such a minor change that I didn't even notice it at first, but now, after a whole week of this hellish training—I'm able to sleep without having to first meditate.

Before, I had to clear my mind completely, and focus on just relaxing and replenishing my psychic muscle before I could try to sleep.

The only conclusion I can draw is that the physical pain I feel is directly linked to my psychic power alone. I don't believe that it's caused by my psychic power damaging my body—and causing me to feel pain.

Which leads me to believe that it's just a mental pain, not something that's causing irreparable harm to my physical body.

At least, I hope so.

The farther I push myself, the worse the pain and exhaustion gets, but if I can convince myself that it's purely in my head, something mental—something that doesn't affect my health—I can somehow keep pushing forward.

The pain getting duller helps, but knocking off a few points of exhaustion isn't enough to make a massive difference.

As of right now, I'm able to move a total of 5 pounds when I put in all my strength. It's incredible how well this power has merged with me. It felt incredibly natural manipulating it from the very beginning, but now, I'm able to manipulate objects as simply as breathing—so long as they aren't too large.

Gone are the days of being able to barely lift a piece of paper.

I've been marking down how much my strength has grown each day, and so far—I've been maintaining a continuous strength increase of somewhere between 40% to 90% daily.

It's seriously incredible.

So far though, my precision hasn't increased. I haven't been even slightly focused on training it but still—it hasn't increased on it's own.

I'm of course happy for my strength to increase, but there's still one incredibly large issue that's remained unsolved: the existence of other psychics.

Over the past week, I've exhausted every idea I can think of in my search for others like me. I searched every corner of the internet I had access to, scoured every forum I could find, bought every research paper available, and checked every video I could watch.

Nothing.

There wasn't even a hint of anyone else like me. I'm starting to get almost worried.

This means that either I am the only one like me, which seems impossible—almost as impossible as the possibility of psychics being known to just a small segment of the world.

I mean, if psychic powers were even somewhat common, there'd have to be some kind of proof—some kind of trail. . . Right?

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