Chapter 100: 100

Chapter 100: But Now I Know

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T/N: This chp goes back to scene after Richard ran away and narrates from Karhan’s pov

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After Richard ran away earlier, Karhan left the banquet hall for a while. His sleeves were wet with alcohol, so he had to change his shirt.

Karhan returned to the carriage and searched for the clothes she had brought as a spare. It was a shirt he had tailored a few months ago, but putting it on now, it doesn’t fit well. After training hard, he seemed to have gained more muscles in the meantime.

When he thought of Lilia, who was waiting alone, he became impatient. Karhan chose the clothes that looked the most generous in size, and luckily, they fit perfectly. Karhan, who even changed his coat and pants, hurriedly returned to the banquet hall.

Usually, he was easygoing regardless of whether others saw him or not, but now he felt others’ eyes. Everyone was watching him with fond eyes.

Come to think of it, since he entered the banquet hall today, no one ran away senselessly after seeing his face. Those who were wary also changed their attitudes after exchanging a few words with him. It was an undeserved favor that he had never received before. It was all changed thanks to Lilia.

“Lady Bloden…….”

When a familiar name was heard, Karhan stopped walking without realizing it. Lilia was mentioned in a place where lords and ladies were gathered. He heard it with his forehead slightly narrowed in case they were gossiping.

“She seems to have gotten a lot brighter.”

“Right? She used to be so quiet…….”

Karhan did not know about Lilia’s past. The Bloden family was so famous that he often heard rumors, but this year was the first time he met them in person.

But they knew a side of Lilia that he didn’t know. He was envious of them, but at the same time, he wanted to know more about Lilia, so he listened quietly.

“I used to feel like she was drawing out a line between everyone, but today she’s mingling well.”

“But she’s still kind. I’m glad she keeps smiling.”

Everyone seemed interested in Lilia. But the more he listened to them, the more he felt that they didn’t know Lilia all that well. He felt that those people might have talked to Lilia once and judged her based on that conversation.

The Lilia whom Karhan knew was stronger than anyone else. Always confident and not afraid to collapse. And Lilia was the sweetest person ever.

Lilia always encouraged him and told that it’s okay. If it weren’t for Lilia, Karhan wouldn’t have escaped from the small box that kept him locked up all his life.

Karhan no longer listened to their conversation and moved on. As he entered the banquet hall, he could see a bright blonde head of hair that stood out from afar. A smile spread on Karhan’s face when he found Lilia. But Lilia wasn’t alone.

Karhan recognized that the woman talking to Lilia was the Crown Princess. He paused because he couldn’t interrupt the conversation.

“…….”

Karhan looked carefully at Lilia. Lilia was talking to the Crown Princess with a smile as if it had come straight from a portrait. From the moment she entered the banquet hall today, she had been smiling all the time. But Karhan noticed that Lilia was overdoing it.

There was a tension under Lilia’s smile. Just as Lilia read his expression at the first meeting, Karhan can now read Lilia’s real expressions. Suddenly, what someone said earlier passed by.

—She’s still kind. I’m glad she still keeps smiling.

Why didn’t I know? It takes a lot of effort to keep smiling.

—It’s nothing like a great banquet. It’ll be fine.

This was what Lilia said in the carriage heading to the banquet hall. Lilia relaxed Karhan throughout. 

Ah.

You were nervous, too.

Karhan only realized then. No matter how strong a person is, it’s natural to be nervous and hurt……. Her kindness was more for others than for herself.

***

(T/N: back to present)

Lilia chewed on the inside of her lips. The music of the ball came from a distance. The next song seemed to have started.

‘How did this happen?’

As soon as she finished dancing, she tried to run away, but she couldn’t turn down Karhan’s offer, so she was on her way to the terrace. She was also vulnerable to his request.

When she came out to the terrace, the glass door closed with a click. Lilia didn’t close the curtains on purpose. Maybe someone would want to find her in a hurry.

The wind blew coolly as she stepped outside. Even in summer, the evening was quite cool, so it cooled the heat that had not yet disappeared. The wind, caressing her cheek, shook Lilia’s blonde hair.

After the heat was gone, she could still hear her heart beating. Coming out on the terrace seemed like the wrong choice. She became more conscious than before because it was just the two of them alone.

Karhan was still looking at Lilia in silence. Lilia said anything that came to mind to break the strange silence.

“Have you been to the Imperial Palace often?”

“I came back to the capital about three times.”

“Before that?”

Karhan was silent for a moment, recalling the past.

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“But recently, when I was on the battlefield, I came back to the capital unofficially.”

As Karhan stuttered and brought out his past, Lilia listened. She liked to hear the low-pitched voice. His story continued for a long time, and only then did the fever completely subside.

Lilia stared at the glass door with her back against the terrace railing. She saw the banquet hall full of glittering lights. She could still feel the eyes of the people over a layer of the door.

“I met so many people today. It seems that all the nobles of the Empire have gathered.”

Lilia turned her head and said, taking her eyes off the glass door.

“I didn’t know that Richard would come.”

Lilia deliberately used violent (informal or a bad way of speaking) language to shake off the awkward atmosphere. Karhan’s eyes sank when Richard’s name came out.

“Did nothing really happen?”

“You helped me before it came to that.”

replied Lilia, indifferently. But when she thought about what happened earlier, her heart pounded. She didn’t know that he would try to hurt her in a place where there were many people watching. Lilia went on without showing any signs of her inner thoughts.

“Now that the Marquis of Tersian is out of the picture, I’d like to file a divorce suit.”

Previously, it was difficult to apply for a trial. The Marquis of Tersian was strong, and he would use a well-known lawyer. But not now.

The Marquis’ power was diminished, and Richard’s house was ruined. There will be no money to get a lawyer. Hopefully, the verdict will be delivered within three months.

‘It’s finally over.’

She thought she would be thrilled to see him fall.… but it wasn’t particularly so. She felt dirty after seeing the person she once loved passionately hit rock bottom. Lilia chased him while under an illusion, and Richard created the illusion for her money.

‘People say they can’t forget their first love for the rest of their lives but I can’t forget it in a different way.’

She had a bitter taste for some reason. Lilia slowly turned her head.

“Thank you for everything so far.”

Karhan’s eyes shook. It was because it sounded as if she was saying goodbye. The reason the first two became entangled was to break Lilia’s engagement with her fiance and stop the person who would become Karhan’s fiancée. And now, she was on the verge of achieving her goal.

“Let’s continue to…….”

Lilia paused for a moment. After the breakup, she had never thought deeply about her relationship with Karhan. She’s helping Karhan become the real successor, but that will eventually come to an end. Didn’t he say that the successor class is coming to an end?

Lilia looked at Karhan calmly. When his eyes met hers, she could see the night sky without raising her head. Because of the countless stars in his dark blue eyes.

The eyes that did not let her go under the wisteria still remained like burn marks. As she recalled that time, her whole body burned as if she had become a branch on the verge of being ignited.

“Let’s be good friends.”

Karhan’s eyes, which were shaking at the finished words, stopped. Lilia swallowed the feelings she felt with Karhan and stepped away.

“I’m going in now.”

She stopped at the door to return to the banquet hall. But Lilia hesitated for a moment, unable to grasp the handle. The sound of laughter leaking from inside made her dizzy. Lilia murmured as an excuse.

“It’s been a while since I went to such a large banquet, so I’m a little tired.”

Lilia turned her head and said, looking at Karhan,

“Since I’m here, I’m going to stay a little longer. Do you want to go home first?”

The smile she had been wearing throughout the banquet came out like a habit. Then Karhan approached. With only one step left, the distance narrowed at once. Karhan’s shadow fell over Lilia’s face.

“……I hope you don’t try too hard.”

Karhan’s words stiffened Lilia’s shoulders. It was not long before he stretched out his arms.

“You don’t have to smile so hard.”

Karhan’s arm stroked Lilia’s shoulder. There was the sound of curtains being pulled from behind.

“At this moment.”

The light from inside the banquet hall was turned off. All eyes of those who were secretly watching the terrace were blocked. It seemed that people’s voices were no longer heard. The corners of Lilia’s lips lowered slowly. There were really only the two of them. There was no need to care now.

Karhan slowly smiled at Lilia, who was not smiling. Unlike in the past, when laughing was awkward for him, it was a very natural smile.

“I just…want you to be happy.”

A low whisper gently enveloped Lilia like the moonlight. Lilia’s lips trembled at Karhan’s wish, which she didn’t normally expect. She felt like he had penetrated everything she had hidden.

Lilia’s eyelids slowly closed. Suddenly, she heard the sound of a lock falling to the floor. A door, which she thought had been tightly closed the whole time, began to open.

Lilia looked into her wide-open heart. The true heart that had been hidden tightly was crouched beyond the gap of the door. She actually knew the truth. She kept turning away, but now she had no choice but to notice. No choice but to notice that she likes Karhan.

And now I know. This is how I started to like you.

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[P/R: Oh my god I’m in tears T.T What a beautiful way to end our 100th chapter. This is it, I love it so much]

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