Chapter 28: 25. Accepting

A hug suddenly remove the darkness within her, all the negative things that were on her mind was vanished and replaced with warmth flowing to her body that made Misaki feel comfortable. 

Misaki then raised her head and saw face of Kazuto who had sat beside her and hugged her while closing his eyes quietly.

"O-Onii-chan?"

"..."

He didn't answer as he kept quiet and hugged her. So Misaki ended up keeping quiet too.

Misaki didn't know how much time had passed, but she wanted this time to freeze forever if she could because of the comfort she had received.

"Feeling better?"

"Y-Yes."

Kazuto was about to let go of his embrace, but was immediately restrained by Misaki. She was afraid that her restlessness would return if she let him go.

"C-Can Onii-chan keep hugging me like this? I'm scared."

Seeing his sister cowering in fear, it make Kazuto just silent and continue to hug her, even tighter.

"Relax, everything will be fine, your brother is here."

Misaki regained her composure after hearing those words.

"...So, can my little sister explain why she's so sad today? Everyone including your friends is really worried about you, you know."

Kazuto hesitated for a moment to bring up the topic, but if he didn't, then he was sure Misaki would feel down again, and he needed to know what made her like that if he want to cheer her up.

"Um..."

Misaki hesitated to explain. There's no way she would say "because I was your former existence and reincarnated as your younger sister", right? Obviously it was opposed as an answer.

"Before that, answer my question Onii-chan, and please don't laugh."

Kazuto became confused for a moment. What kind of question would she ask until she made that serious expression? he thought. He was also convinced that this had something to do with the reason why she was sad, and finally agreed.

After that Misaki continued to speak.

"Just imagine that you died and reincarnated as me, how would you feel? Would you feel sorry and guilty for taking my soul and taking my body? Then after that, how will you live your life, are you still using the past mindset, or starting a new one?"

Kazuto's blinking his eyes abnormally, it was clearly a strange question to an ordinary person. But Misaki didn't know how to properly ask, because reincarnation was considered as unreal thing.

But Kazuto's expression returned to normal after that, and he took a moment to answer.

"Die and be reincarnated as my own little sister, huh. It would be a bit awkward and a strange experience if it really happened."

He said with a small laugh.

Yep, I'm proof of that. Misaki answered in her heart.

But Kazuto's expression changed when he said the next sentence.

"If that's true then I'll probably be very sad that you won't be around."

This time his face turned sad after saying it.

Misaki was confused as Kazuto was taking her question too seriously, until she was hugged even tighter when he said it.

Seeing her confusion, Kazuto smiled wryly. He didn't want to say that he was serious about answering because of her.

He continued speaking without seeing Misaki's face and looking straight ahead.

"Just like a candle flame when the wind blows it off, when we light it again it doesn't bring back the old light, but we have created a new light. But the light also represents the old light, so it has no visible changes."

Kazuto glanced and continued his words.

"So, if it's true that I reincarnated as you, then my past and my present will still be myself, where I accept both sides and don't reject the other. You don't have to throw away the past just because you're reincarnated, because the identity of the past is what shapes you are now."

"Trees grow from a seed, humans are born from a soul, the wind blows with the seasons, and waterfall descend from the mountains. Even if I have to live as you and without you, I will live like how the wind blows and how the water flows, because that's part of my destiny."

Every word that Kazuto spoke had a deep meaning for Misaki. As like all his sentences had a life, she never knew that Kazuto was good at framing words.

"How was that?"

The wind blew up after Kazuto finished his sentence. The sight of his hair blowing in the wind accompanied by a gentle smile and confident eyes. Everything locked in Misaki's eyes as she would never forget this moment.

All the words he spoke had also been fixed deep in her heart and mind. How could he have such strong beliefs? Yet they are the same person.

Misaki was confused inside. But her confusion only lasted for a moment as she thought back to Kazuto's words.

I don't need to reject my former self, but only need to accept my past and present?

"Hahaha, so that's how it is..."

Misaki involuntarily laughed because the answer she was looking for was so simple. Her eyes now look bright, because she found the answer she was looking for.

"Why are you suddenly laughing, you suprised me..."

Said Kazuto who saw her laughing. But, seeing the joy back on Misaki's face made him happy.

"No, it's nothing. It's just that Onii-chan's answer is simpler than I thought."

She said. She searched so far that she forgot, that actually what she was looking for was closer than she thought.

Yes, my past is what shaped who I am today, so why should I reject it? The me now and then is still the same!

The gleam returned in Misaki's eyes as she made up her mind.

And as for Misaki (A.K.A's little sister, for the sake of not causing confusion).......Even though it's true that I took the life that you should have, now I feel no regrets, because this fate can't be wrong. I'm sure that you too will experience happiness somewhere out there.

She finally didn't feel guilty anymore. Kazuto's words had calmed her down, so she didn't have to think about it anymore.

"But what is that, does Onii-chan want to be a writer. Your words are like a street bard."

Misaki said while laughing.

"I'm look cool, don't I?"

Kazuto smiled while showing his shiny teeth, and it looked too narcissistic in Misaki's eyes.

"No, it really doesn't suit your style."

Misaki shaking her head as disapproval while laughing. The style didn't seem to suit him at all.

"Ah, you hurt your brother's heart."

Kazuto replied while pretending to be hurt. He could finally see Misaki was more cheerful now, it seemed that he had managed to cheer her up.

"So I've answered your question. Now answer me, why are you so sad today?"

"Mmm, it's nothing. It's just that there was a main character in a novel I read that had a tragic story, so I thought too deeply about it."

"Are you sad over such a simple thing!!?"

Misaki laughed at his reaction.

However she couldn't tell the truth at any cost, even if she lied and didn't like it.

"Haaa, you made us worry for nothing. Apologize to mom and dad, and your friends later, they are really worried about you."

Said Kazuto who sighed. He couldn't believe that his sister was sad just for a novel character.

"Mmm, I'll do it later. Before that let me sleep on your lap for a while, I'm tired."

Somehow Misaki's eyes felt heavy and it was quite exhausting to keep them open even for a moment. She suddenly felt sleepy.

"Sure."

Seeing that, Kazuto stopped hugging her, and slowly let Misaki sleep on his thigh.

"Rest well."

"Mmm, good..... evening..."

Misaki said as she closed her eyes.

Either because her anxiety had disappeared or she was too tired, Misaki fell asleep quickly.

She exhaled regularly, indicating that she had fallen asleep.

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Kazuto fixed Misaki's bangs gently to not disturb her sleep.

"Why did you lie to me, at least I can bear the same burden so you are not alone."

Kazuto muttered.

He knew Misaki wasn't telling him the truth. He was the one who had lived longest with her, so he knew how she was lying or not.

Seeing her not saying it means she wants to keep it to herself. Kazuto felt a little disappointed. But that was probably the best thing to do if Misaki really wanted to hide it, she must have had her reasons.

Kazuto smiled at Misaki's sweet sleeping face. His heart was pounding just seeing her face that close.

However, his smile soon turned gloomy as his hand touched his chest.

Dum.. Dum.. Dum.. Dum....

His heart was pounding abnormally as he looked at Misaki's face.

"Why is this feeling getting stronger."

He said sadly.

Even though it was his first time feeling this, he knew the meaning of it. But why his sister?

"The sun always shines on the earth with its rays, but there is a definite distance between them. It never gets closer or farther away..."

"...Just like you who always illuminate my days, the affection that I have is also getting bigger."

Kazuto stared at Misaki's sleeping face before looking up at the sky and continuing his words.

"However, the distance between us will never get closer even though I love you very much, huh."

A clear and cloudless blue sky entered his vision, but to Kazuto right now, it looked cloudy and unfriendly.

The feeling in his heart, he had to close it. But he wasn't sure he could do it.

"Pfft, I'm not really good at making literature."

He tried to cheer himself up by making jokes, but unfortunately couldn't.

"If I hadn't been born as her brother......"

Kazuto didn't dare to continue his words. If that was true, then he might never know or be that close to Misaki.

"At least, I'll stay by your side until the time comes for me to stay away...."

........

Since it seemed that Misaki wouldn't wake up even though half an hour had passed, Kazuto finally picked her up while still sleeping, and brought her back.

"How is Misaki?"

His parents, Endou, and Misaki's friends immediately came to him, they looked worried for not coming back long enough.

"Well, she's fine. All the trouble has been resolved."

Kazuto replied while smile and looking at Misaki who was sleeping on his back.

"Speak what happened to her. It's rare for Misaki to look so gloomy."

Endou asked.

"Uhh.. She was too deeply into the novel she was reading and become like this because it has a tragic ending."

Everyone had strangely blinking eyes hearing his answer. Kazuto just shrugged his shoulders seeing that.

"Don't look at me like that. I felt betrayed myself when I heard that."

Since Misaki lied to not make him more worry, then he would do it too, so the others wouldn't worry about her anymore.

"..."

Shinomiya just stared at Misaki's face silently. She was sure that wasn't her problem, but seeing her comfortable expression made her feel that the problem had been solved. She was so happy about it that and smiled faintly.

"Gosh, we turned out to be worrying for nothing."

Said his mother while shaking her head.

"But thank God she's okay."

She added as she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Since everyone's here, how about we enjoy the flower views for a while before heading home."

Misaki's father softened the mood. Since they came here for tourism, they should enjoy it as much as possible. He also does not have many opportunities to do this so he has to make the best of his time with his wife and his childrens.

By late afternoon, they finally went home.

They arrived home in the late afternoon. Misaki wakes up in the middle of the trip, and absentmindedly apologizes to everyone in the car. She felt bad for ruining their holiday. But everyone doesn't mind it.

"See you tomorrow Saki-chan! Today was a lot of fun."

Sakura hugged her tightly as like she not wanting her to let go.

"Y-Yeah, see you tomorrow. That is if today I don't die because of your hugs! I can't breathe!"

Misaki exclaimed as she desperately tried to escape from her embrace.

"Hehehe, you're finally back to normal."

Sakura said with a laugh and finally let go. It seemed that she was doing this on purpose to confirm that she was finally fine.

"Well, see you tomorrow Shino-Chan."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow Saki-chan."

Unlike Sakura who hugged her tightly, Shinomiya only did it lightly before releasing her.

"With this I finally know where your house is."

Misaki said as she looked back. They took Sakura and Shinomiya to their house at once because the direction of their way back was through their house area.

"Yes, come visit sometime. And please bring some cakes!"

"Don't be greedy."

"Fufu, I'll make a nice cake for you later."

With the conversation ending, Misaki got into the car and waved to them, before the car left.

"Misaki look's fine now."

Shinomiya said calmly as she watched the car slowly drift away.

"Yeah, that makes me relieved too."

Sakura replied with a happy smile.

They were very worried since there was something strange about Misaki, as a friend they had bonded with her quite a bit. So seeing her sad also makes them sad too.

"But I saw some kind of change in her. But what is it..."

Shinomiya muttered as she thought about what had changed. She wasn't sure, but ahe felt a sense of self-acceptance in Misaki.

"Did you say something?"

Sakura asked because she didn't hear her muttering.

"No. Maybe it's just me."

Said Shinomiya while shake her head.

"Let's go home, see you tomorrow."

"Eh? Yeah, see you tomorrow."

They finally separated and returned to their homes after that. Sakura was still having a hard time carrying her suitcase, until finally Shinomiya helped her with a sigh and said goodbye once again.

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