Chapter 187: 185 – Tell me why! – V

A faint ripple. John's energy, spreading out and locking the surrounding space.

Yue frowned and then looked over to her husband. "...Is something wrong?"

"Hm?" John glanced back in the middle of braising some beef in a wok. "Nah. Just don't want to be interrupted this time. It shouldn't be a problem, but better safe than sorry." He smiled and said, "I don't want anything to ruin this meal for my lovely wife." After saying that, he went back to work.

Yue's frown deepened, but she didn't say anything and watched her husband cook.

True to his words, her husband was going all out to make the best meal he could.

Flashy knife techniques to cut up and platter a large fish. Creating small temporal pockets to cook dishes that would take hours in a fraction of the time. Constantly moving back and forth while managing nine different dishes at once.

Yue could barely follow it.

But not because her husband's cooking was beyond her ability to comprehend. Instead...

A beautiful young woman with light green hair and a flowing white dress walked around the room, smiling as she watched John cook.

'My, he's really pulling out all the stops this time.' She watched as John plucked a glob of dough out from a temporal pocket and started stretching it out to make hand-pulled noodles. 'So many elaborate dishes, all for you. Aren't you happy?'

Yue pursed her lips.

...She wasn't real. That younger version of herself that Yue was seeing was just a figment of her imagination. Her guilty conscience taking form because of stress.

It had to be. Otherwise, her husband would have noticed.

'Maybe he has?' The younger Yue smiled and then hopped on the countertop in front of Yue. 'You said it yourself, didn't you? Your beloved husband isn't as dumb as he looks or acts.' She turned towards John and called out. 'Isn't that right, Hubby?'

Yue tensed, feeling a trill of panic race through her heart.

But John didn't respond.

'Oh. What a shame.' The younger Yue turned to Yue and smiled. 'I guess he really does have eyes only for you, Miss Perfect.'

"Shut up."

"Hm?" John glanced back. "Did you say something, Wifey?"

"A-Ah. No. I am just... talking to myself, Husband."

Innocent, but cold laughter echoed right next to Yue's ears. 'Talking to yourself indeed... How good of a liar you are.'

The younger Yue swung her legs over the countertop, sitting just to the left of Yue. 'Do you think he bought them though? All the ones you've said?'

Yue trembled.

That...

"Mm... I suppose it would be kind of boring just watching me cook." John spoke up and slammed the dough against the countertop before pulling it again. "I tried to make it flashy... but I guess there's not really much going on."

Yue shook her head. "No. I'm fine-"

"Come on, Wifey. Don't be so reserved." John chuckled and said, "It's fine to be honest with me. I won't think badly of you."

His words felt like a knife to Yue's heart.

Honest, not being reserved...

'Guil~ty~!'

Yue ignored the girl's words and said, "I... really am fine, Husband. Just watching you is enough."

John split the dough into noodles and set them aside. After that, he started washing some red beans for eight treasure soup. "Fine, fine. I'll believe my Wifey. But this is a bit awkward... so how about we chat while I work?" He strained the beans and set them aside in a bowl before saying, "What did you think of our trip? Did you enjoy it?"

Yue was quiet and thought about her husband's words.

Spending such an intimate time together. Sharing warmth in each other's embrace. Watching the sun rise during the day, holding hands and staring at the starry sky at night.

Bathing together in the warm hot springs, skiing down the pure white mountains side by side...

Yue placed her hands over her heart and nodded. "I did. I enjoyed it a lot, Husband."

A world where the only ones that mattered were herself and her husband. It was wonderful, almost like a dream come true- No. It *was* a dream come true. And yet...

'And yet it's something that you don't deserve. Right?' The younger Yue shook her head and said, 'Come on and admit it. That's what you want. A world with only John and your children. A perfect family with no one else. Didn't you see it in that tribulation?'

No. That wasn't it. That wasn't what she wanted.

'But isn't it?' The younger Yue wrapped an arm around Yue's shoulder and then lightly rubbed her belly. 'Look. The proof of that happiness is right here. You should be-'

A deep sigh. John's.

Yue froze. And the younger Yue did as well.

John turned around to look at Yue, wiping his hands down on his apron. After that, he stared at Yue.

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She stared back, but facing those clear blue eyes, she looked down, averting her gaze.

And for once, the cold and mocking voice... the younger Yue was silent as well.

"Talk to me, Yue. What's wrong?" He walked over and then leaned on the countertop. He reached out and lifted Yue's head, staring into her eyes. "This isn't like you."

"...Isn't it?" Yue started to tear up. "And how do you know? How do you know this isn't me?"

John brushed her hair aside and said, "Because I know you. I know my beloved Yue better than anything else."

Yue stood up and shook her head. "No. You... You don't know me. If you did, if you knew all the vile things I've done just to keep you to myself...!"

Her vision blurred, tears streaming down her cheek.

"Yue-"

Yue stared at John. "Husband... No. John. How... Why do you care for me so much? How can you look at me with those warm eyes!?"

John sighed and stood up.

There was a distance between them now. The countertop serving as a barricade between the couple.

And as if realizing the severity of the situation... or perhaps deciding that her role was done, the younger Yue had vanished.

John was quiet and then let out a sad smile. "You shouldn't be too hard on yourself, Yue."

Yue's breath caught in her chest and then she shook her head. "Don't say that! You... You don't even know what I've done! The things that I've done behind your back!"

John stepped forward, reaching for Yue.

She flinched and instinctively stepped back.

Seeing that, John let out another sigh.

Yue shook her head and then laughed. Laughed while tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I sent them away, you know? Your sisters. I turned Zhaojun away and expelled her from the sect. I hid Daji's letters. And I barred Xuannu from showing up at the Celestial Palace."

John didn't say anything.

Seeing that, Yue continued. "After we married, I chased down every woman you ever came into contact with and made them sign promissory notes. Promises and oaths to never meet or speak with you again without my permission!"

John walked around the countertop.

Yue backed up, walking backwards. "I... I convinced Zhuque to kill herself! That she would be happier if she never met you again or had any memory of you left in her soul! That she should erase all traces of herself and never fall for you again!"

John paused.

Yue reached the wall. "I-I even scared Little Xuan and Little Wu enough to go into hiding and seal themselves. Those two innocent girls that you loved like your daughters. So..." She slumped to the ground and then said, "...Why? Why do you care for me so much when I'm this vile?"

Silence. No, silence, and then the sound of John's footsteps approaching her.

Yue pulled her knees up and lowered her head, letting the tears run down her face. "I did all of those terrible things behind your back, and then you treat me this well..."

She didn't deserve it. Her husband... John deserved someone better than her. Someone who wasn't so vicious, so jealous, so narrowminded...

And then a warm hand patted her head.

Yue froze and then looked up, opening her eyes. When she did, she saw John staring at her, his blue eyes soft and sad.

"You silly girl." He brushed away her tears and said, "I knew all of that about you already."

"You... knew?"

John let out a gentle smile and said, "Of course I knew. I might be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not stupid. I knew exactly what kind of person you are and what kind of person you were when I asked to marry you."

Yue's eyes widened, but then her heart was wracked with guilt. "But... why?"

"Because-"

"Why?!" Yue stood up, shoving John back. She shook her head and said, "You should have let me be! You could have had any other woman, any other beauty in existence! If you did... If you did, then you would be so much happier!" She covered her face and said, "Why... Why did you choose me? You were in love with other women! And they were in love with you! They would have been happy to share you! But...!"

She ruined him. Yue took advantage of John's wide heart and ruined it. Locked it up so that he would only look at her. And if it was true... If he really knew all that she did but allowed it...

"...Why?" Yue looked up and said that one word. Unable to vocalize her thoughts and emotions, she shook her head and said, "Why, John?"

John smiled. "Because I love you."

"No!" Yue shook her head. "That's not enough! You loved other women, and they loved you too! So... Why? Why did you choose me?" Yue slumped back to the ground and said, "Why did you choose this twisted princess who wouldn't allow anyone else in your life...?" She covered her face. "...No. It's not you. It's me. I did this. I ruined you. I..."

"Yue." A sharp and cold voice. Completely different from his usual warm tone.

Yue flinched and looked up.

John stared at her and then he sighed.

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