Chapter 188: 186 – Tell me why! – VI

HappyVainGlory

"...Do you remember our wedding vows?"

Yue paused.

Wedding vows... Yes. There had been those. The promises they made to each other beneath the heavens after the ceremony.

John nodded and then said, "With the heavens as my witness and upon my everlasting soul, I, John Smith swear to take you, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish."

...That was right. He said that. Even as her father cursed him out, even as the Three Realms were in an uproar over their marriage, he still said those words.

At the time, they filled her heart and made her happy. The happiest that she had ever been, like she was floating on the top of the world. So happy that she could barely remember what she said or did that day other than running away with John from the palace and her father.

But now... After seeing all that she did, knowing now that he still accepted her even considering how she was...

Yue shook her head and said, "Are you stupid? An idiot? Brain-damaged? Why... Why did you choose to shackle yourself like that? And... to someone like me?"

John shook his head. "I said it before, and I'll say it again. Because I love you."

"What is there to love about me?!" Yue glared at John through her tears and said, "I'm petty! Jealous! Clingy!" She shook her head and said, "I rejected your family and wanted to substitute my own. I was selfish enough to try over and over again to have a true flesh and blood child that I failed at being a proper mother to Meggie!"

John didn't respond.

Yue continued. "I'm not even the same as the girl you married!" She slowly stood up and said, "I gave up on perfection, throwing it away out of jealousy to try and find a way to bind you to me. And even then, when you were here I used a mountain of karmic beads just to make your life miserable out of spite!"

John laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "So you really did do that, huh? I was wondering if that was my imagination... though I always knew you were a handful, so I should have expected that."

"See! So..." Yue teared up and asked. "So why?"

John walked forward, smiling. "Again. It's because I love you."

"...But why? Tell me why, John Smith! Why do you love me? Why did you choose me instead of someone else?!"

She needed to know. Yue needed to know.

He had everything. He could have had everything. Beauties, treasures, power... But he gave it up. Instead of being respected, he was ridiculed and made fun of for being a perverted scoundrel who took away the Celestial Jade Princess's purity.

...He didn't have to marry her. There were countless other situations where he had done the same thing. And even then, it had been a mutual agreement. Through that method, she managed to breakthrough her tribulation and become an immortal.

But he did.

He did, and so he shackled himself to her.

Yue stared at John and said, "Wang Zhaojun would have waited for you until the end of time. Jiutian Xuannu would have gone with you wherever and allowed whoever else you wanted. And Su Daji would have supported you no matter what you decided to do if you chose her. So... Why? What... makes me so special?"

Yue had nothing to offer him.

Sure, she had heaven-defying talent and status, but that was still nothing compared to him. She was more knowledgeable in every Dao and various fields, but John had talent and perseverance that made up for that lack of knowledge. And she had no treasures to give him that he did not already possess.

...Yue was beautiful. She knew that. Her beauty had been spread far and wide across the Three Realms as the untouchable sky. But even if that was the case, John knew beauties that ranged from the underworld to that unreachable sky.

So if you took those away... all that was left was herself. But Yue... she couldn't help but admit it.

She was clingy. When he offered his hand to her, she took it and never wanted to let go.

She was jealous. When she saw him look at other women with those kind eyes, she wanted to toss them into the void where they would never be seen again.

And she was petty. For the slightest misstep, she was willing to return vengeance a hundredfold over.

A girl whose character didn't match her reputation and value. Someone who had nothing to offer when it came to herself.

So...!

Yue bit her lips and lowered her gaze again. But before she could, she felt a hand grab her chin and gently raise it.

John.

She trembled and then reached up to knock his hand away. But before she could, he spoke.

"Tian Yue."

Yue froze. Being called by her former name...

John's blue eyes stared into her own.

Yue couldn't face them, so she closed her eyes. Because she knew what came next.

...Right. He had to have realized it now. That was why he called her by her maiden name.

"...It's fine. Y-You can d-dissolve our marriage." Yue lowered her head and hugged her stomach. The baby that was there. When she felt its warmth, she started sobbing. "I-I'm s-sorry...! M-Mommy isn't... Mommy isn't good enough to bring you into this world...!"

She cried and started to slump to the ground. But before she could, a firm arm grabbed her.

"Like hell you aren't."

Yue froze and looked up.

John was staring at her. But his kind blue eyes were gone. Instead, the frosty jade green from back when he was in the Three Realms had returned.

Yue flinched. "H-Husband?"

John lifted her up until she was standing and then pressed his forehead against hers, forcing Yue to look into his eyes. When he did, he said, "Who do you think I am, Yue?"

"M-My husband?"

"That's right. And do you know what that means?"

"..."

Yue shook her head. She... thought she did. But...

"It means that I love you. It means that I will love you, now and forever more. For better or for worse." John gently brushed her tears away before placing his hand on the side of her cheek. "I know already. I know exactly all about how Tian Yue is a bitter, vindictive and... in all honesty, a vile women that no one loved. As beautiful as she appears, there was a reason why she was infamous. Why she was only seen as an inviolable treasure and never a serious companion."

Yue flinched and tried to avert her gaze, but John forced her to look at him.

Staring deep into her eyes, John said, "Even so, I love her. I, John Smith, love Tian Yue. And I'll say it simpler. I love you, Yue. No matter what other people think you're like, no matter what other people have said about you, no matter if people think I'm an idiot who could have chosen better... I'll still love you. And I'll keep saying it even if no one believes me or if they think I'm crazy."

"...But why?"

John brushed her cheek and said, "Because I want to. And because you deserve it."

Yue trembled and then shook her head. "B-But... How can a vile woman like myself deserve love?"

John smiled. "Because as vile as you might think you are, I know you're not. And even if you've made enough mistakes in the past to be called that, I know you can be better- No, you already are better."

Yue blinked, staring at John with a blank gaze.

John raised his other hand to her cheek and gently turned Yue's head to look at him. "Listen, Yue. I am your husband, and you are my wife. That won't change. And because of that, even if no one else in existence believes in you. Even if no one else will support you. Even if every being alive curses your name, I will stand by your side. Not because you've earned it or because you impressed me with your beauty, skill, or knowledge. Not because of anything that you've done or have. But because you are you. And I want to protect you and stay by your side."

"...I don't understand."

John pulled Yue in for a hug. "It's fine. You don't need to understand. But just remember, you deserve to be happy. You deserve love. And you deserve to not be alone anymore."

Yue trembled. "...That's not true." She leaned against John's shoulder and said, "I hurt so many people-"

"But you saved so many others. Did you forget already?" John rubbed Yue's back to calm her down and said, "Who was the one who stormed off to save the girls being used as cultivation cauldrons by those so-called righteous sects when she found out? Who was the one who gave those girls who resigned themselves to be tools for the rest of their lives a new purpose and became their big sister?"

"T-That..."

...It was true. There was a time when she learned of that fact and stormed off without John to save those girls. But...

John held Yue close and said, "Who was the one who held out her hand to those orphaned children in the mortal realm and convinced her father to let them join the Celestial Army? Who was the kind young woman who taught those talentless mortals and gave them enough divine elixirs to improve their physiques until they were qualified enough that her father couldn't help but accept them?"

Yue shook her head. "I know what you're trying to say, Husband. But... Even if I helped a few people, I hurt so many more. The number of women who curse my name-"

"So what?" John stepped back and held Yue's shoulders, staring at her. "If they curse you out as the most evil and vile witch in the world... Well, that just means that I'll have to become the most terrible demon lord they've ever seen."

Yue's eyes widened and she quickly shook her head. "No! I forbid it!"

The thought of John being hated like that... of being the source of his pain...

John laughed and gently brushed Yue's cheek. "Fine, fine. I won't become a tyrannical demon lord. But you know? It looks like you forgot."

"I... forgot?"

John stared at Yue and let out a sad smile. But it quickly turned into a mischievous one and he said, "Mmhm. You forgot that my path is accumulation. And the moment I chose to marry you, your troubles became my troubles. So... When you can't bear the weight of the world, I'll hold it for you. If you fall, I'll pick you up. And if you turn evil... Well, I'll try to talk you out of it, but if you won't change then I'll be evil too."

Yue trembled and then said, "You're stupid." She tried to push him away, but John wouldn't budge. Since she couldn't push him away, Yue shook her head and said, "I'm not worth all of this trouble. You... You would be a lot happier with someone else. Anyone else."

"Maybe." John nodded and let out a teasing smile. "You *are* a bit of a primadonna girl."

"A what?"

John chuckled. "Nothing. But... You have to remember that happiness is a choice. The highs and the lows... Through it all, what matters most is the choice that we make. And I choose to be happy with you. But more importantly..." He reached beneath his shirt and pulled something out.

A jade talisman.

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It was old. Cracked. Even the characters on it were fading away.

But Yue recognized it. It would be impossible for her not to. "That...?"

John gave the string holding it a light tug, setting the talisman loose. After that, he gently placed it in Yue's hands.

She held it up, staring at the jade talisman in a daze.

[我只想成为我。 我不要这个。 如果只有一个人...请。 让别人接受我]

[I just want to be me. I don't want this. If there is only one person...please. Let others accept me.]

The words she wrote down in secret that day. The quiet wish that she never spoke out. The jade talisman she cast out into the void on a whim after being overwhelmed with the burden of being the Celestial Jade Princess and being expected to be perfect at everything.

Yue lowered the talisman and then looked at John. "...How?"

John smirked and said, "That's a secret. But..." His smirk turned into a soft smile and he said, "I know. I know how the gods didn't grant your wish. I know how your father couldn't, try as he might. And I know how you struggled to stay alive when even the heavens wanted to erase you from existence."

Yue clutched the talisman to her chest.

"An innocent young girl who just wanted a friend. A quiet girl who grew up with no one who understood her because they saw the role and not the person. A lonely girl who grew cold because she was expected to be an untouchable and perfect princess against all challengers. ...I hate that kind of story, you know?"

Yue was quiet. And then she whispered, "That's why you chose me?"

John laced his hands behind his head. "Basically. But you know, Wifey... In all honesty, you're right." He tilted his head and gave Yue a sidelong glance. "It's really annoying how jealous you get whenever I talk to a girl. And you piss me off a lot whenever you fly off the handle for something I can't control. Not only that, but then there's the fact that you're *really* thirsty and into kinks that even *I* think are weird."

Yue flinched. "T-That..."

"Also, you're right. You've been a terrible mother to Meggie and a terrible person to the rest of my family. Not only that, but even thinking about trying to make Alphy and Betty disappear... They're just as much my children as Meggie is, you know? What were you going to do if they really did vanish?"

Yue lowered her head in shame. "...So I am a failure."

"No." John raised her head. "You've just failed. But you're trying to change... and you've already changed, even if you don't think it."

Yue shook her head. "I haven't changed at all. Seeing you with other women still pains my heart. And no matter how hard I try, whenever I see Rin or Asako, I still feel the urge to command them to not be in your life."

"I know."

"So then why-?!"

"But that's what makes us human. That's what makes us alive."

Yue's eyes widened.

John sighed and patted Yue's head. "There's no need to try and force change. It comes over time, bit by bit. And it's hard... But that's natural." He laughed and said, "I'd be more worried if you suddenly became accepting of everything and everyone I'd met since I arrived here considering they're mostly beautiful and talented young women, you know?"

"...But that means my heart is ugly. That I can't accept something I know my husband can't control."

"Well I think that ugly heart of yours is beautiful." John grinned and said, "After all. If you feel all of that, doesn't it mean you love me that much?"

Yue sniffed and then smacked John's chest. "You big dumb idiot. What kind of man gives so much to a girl like that? What kind of man turns away so many beautiful, kind, supportive, and caring girls for a small-hearted, clingy, vicious girl like myself?"

"The kind of man that I am." John's face became serious and he said, "And I would do it all over again to be by your side, Yue. Because... you deserve to be loved. And if no one else will love you, I will."

Yue's eyes started to tear up again. "John..."

"Ah. That's a lie."

Yue froze.

John let out a mischievous smile and said, "Even if there were other people who loved you, I'd still love you anyways and snatch you away again." He brushed his nose and said, "It's a bit embarrassing... but my type is actually the clingy and lonely girls, you know?"

Yue huffed and then smacked John on the head. "You idiot!"

John laughed. "Yes. But remember, I'm your idiot."

Yue  leaned on John and then smacked his chest. "Dumbass. Pervert. Scoundrel."

"Yeah. Can't say that I'm not any of those."

Yue trembled and then said, "...I hate it when you don't look at me. When you hang out with other girls."

John pulled Yue into a hug and said, "I know."

"I kept trying to make a child with you because I wanted to make you stay with me. So that you would feel to guilty to leave me behind."

"I know."

"...I'm going to always be jealous. I'll always be clingy and want you nearby."

"I know."

Yue trembled and then quietly said, "I can't live without you. If you're gone... I won't have a reason to exist anymore."

John rubbed Yue's back and said, "I know. That's part of why I decided to become a Transcendent. After all, I can't just drop dead if I know my cute Wifey's going to follow right after me."

Yue closed her eyes, feeling tears run down her cheeks. "...I'm sorry that I hurt everyone."

"It's fine- Ah. It's actually not. And I'll scold you if you do it again. But I forgive you. Didn't I say it already? Whatever sins you carry, I'll take on for myself."

Yue shook her head. "...But what about Zhuque? And Little Xuan and Little Wu?" She trembled and said, "I..."

"Don't worry about it. I talked with her before she did it."

Yue froze and looked up. "You... did?"

"Mmhm. Your talk with her must have cemented her decision, but she was already thinking about it after we got married." John winced. "It was... kind of messy, actually."

"...You shouldn't lie to make me feel better, Husband."

"I wouldn't do that." John paused. "Well, not this time."

"Husband!"

John laughed and then conjured a sofa, pulling Yue to sit with him.

Yue pouted, but let John sit her down.

When Yue was settled on his lap, John said, "You know it already, but Zhuque was in love with me. ...Probably as much as you are."

Yue flinched. "Then..."

John shook his head. "I clearly told her. Like with everyone else, I drew a line and told them that I made my choice a long time ago. But..." John looked up and sighed, "She said that she didn't want to live without me- No, that she couldn't. And that she didn't want to suffer that heartbreak even if she reincarnated again... so we made arrangements together for her to become a normal girl in her next life. Well, she made arrangements. I tried to talk her out of it again, but I guess in the end..." He shook his head.

Yue lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. That's just how life is. Sometimes, you can't help but hurt others by your choices." John shook his head. "Well, that's what I've learned anyway. But that's what it means to be human... No, to be alive."

Yue didn't respond.

John stretched and said, "As for Little Xuan and Little Wu... Well, it was safer for them to be sealed for a while anyway. Unlike the others, they have a unique physique that only becomes stronger with age and they were both pretty weak after I got rid of their curse. It's a good thing that you scared them too, since those two probably would have come running after me after I told them I was planning on leaving and get hurt." He paused. "...You didn't hurt them, right?"

Yue quickly shook her head. "No! I would never hurt them! But..." She lowered her head and said, "...I terrified them. I screamed at them and then said that if they ever showed their faces around you, I'd turn them into turtle soup."

John winced. "Oh. Yeah. That's pretty bad then. You definitely need to apologize for that. But since no one was hurt... it's not the worst case scenario. And I guess you really weren't in the proper state of mind with how I left you either, so..."

"...So you aren't mad at me?"

"Oh don't get me wrong. I'm furious." He pulled Yue into a one-armed hug and said, "My cute Wifey was stupid and bottled up her emotions just like my eldest daughter did. She also didn't trust me after I said over and over again that I would always protect her and stay by her side and not choose anyone else. But then again, I knew that would happen... So I forgive you."

Yue leaned against John and closed her eyes. "...You are too nice to me, John."

"Of course I'm nice to you. That's what husbands should be towards their wives. And besides, it's important to give people a bit of grace... Especially now that we can afford to."

Yue giggled, nuzzling against John's chest.

John smiled, patting her head. And then he looked up and said, "So you guys understand now, right? Why I told you all to drop it back then?"

Yue froze and followed his gaze. "Who are you-?"

Space rippled. John's power that had been blocking everything vanished.

And then five people appeared in the room.

Two men, three women.

Bai and Qing, both wearing their suits and avoiding John's eyes.

Daji and Xuannu, staring at John and Yue with mixed emotions...

And then Zhaojun, giving John and Yue a genuine smile.

Yue sat up and looked at John. "H-Husband?"

HappyVainGlory

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