Chapter 136: Say That Again

~ SASHA ~

Sasha nodded even though she had no clue what he was doing. She wasn't going to have to get naked too, was she?

Did she care?

With Zev, no, she realized.

She was suddenly very aware of the huge t-shirt she was swimming in—it fell off one of her shoulders, the t-shirt sleeves falling below her elbows, and the hem near her knees. Zev, over a foot taller than her, loomed over her, holding the hand he'd used to help her up, but otherwise not touching her. But his eyes were bright, shining, almost glowing again. He watched her so intently she felt like he could absolutely read her thoughts if he tried.

"Sash," he said, his voice how and hushed, a gravel that made her want to put her arm to his chest to feel it under her palm.

"Yes?"

"I have loved you since I was eighteen years old," he said, then cleared his throat and looked down, before bringing his eyes back up to hers. "For the last five years, I've thought about you ever day. Ached for you. Yearned to be close to you, and… and done anything I could to bring us closer. And now you're here. And you're mine," he said, with a low growl.

Sasha's heart trilled and she nodded. "Yes, I am."

He swallowed again. "I know none of this is happening the way we hoped. I was too young before, and now… now there are too many things trying to pull us apart. But I want you to know… I want you to be certain that I am here for you. Forever."

Tears pinched her throat, but she didn't give in to them. She wanted to see every line of his face, every blink of his eyes. He stared at her like she was water in the desert, and she couldn't bear the idea of looking away.

"I love you too, Zev," she croaked. "Forever."

He nodded. "Our lives might never be simple. And things might… might get weird, or scary, or plain dangerous. But all of that is on the outside. Inside, I'm yours and you're mine. And no one and nothing can take that from us."

She nodded, swallowing more tears and finally put her hand to his chest. His heart was hammering just as hard as hers, which calmed her somehow.

"I'm sorry I didn't think about this sooner. And I'm sorry it's not what… not what you would have dreamed," he breathed.

Sasha frowned. "Zev, having you is what I've dreamed. Don't you get that?"

A dazzling smile broke on his face and he looked like he was going to kiss her again, but he shook his head, then suddenly dropped.

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Sasha put both hands to her mouth. She stopped breathing as Zev got down on one knee in front of her, holding his fists together.

"When I came to Thana after I had to leave you, I was heartbroken," he said and his eyes dropped from hers to his hands for a moment. He cleared his throat. "My friends knew I was broken up. But I threw myself into fighting up the hierarchy and… I think deep down I thought if I could take control, I could gain enough power to get you back." He swallowed again. "But then I did it and… nothing changed. You still weren't here. And I still ached for you. I was rudderless.

"When the winter festival came that year Dunken got me a gift. Trust me, Dunken is the least sentimental Chimera you'll ever have the pleasure to know. So when he gives something… he means it," Zev said, his lips curling up at the memory. "He gave me this ring and he said… he said it was to remind me that I knew where I was going. And to never give up. No matter what."

Zev lifted his eyes back to hers and opened his hand. On the flat of his palm sat a thick, leather ring, it's surface sheened with long use. He lifted it up, to hold it close enough for her to see the engraved symbols in it.

Two feathered arrows circled either side, both pointing at a thick cross in the center.

"X marks the spot," Sasha blurted stupidly, then clapped a hand over her mouth.

Zev chuckled. "Yes. The spot that I was always hoping to come to. This spot," he said, and lifted sparkling eyes to lock with hers.

"This is a symbol, because it's all I have to give," he said hoarsely. "I used it to remind me where I was going, but that was to you. And now you're here. So… so I found my mark.

"Sasha, I'm asking you for everything. And I can't promise more than this cave and these strange people, but... Be my mate. Be my wife. Be the mother of my children. Be my forever—even in the next life. Be my Ardent. Are you… would you… will you give yourself to me that way?"

"Are you fucking crazy, Zev?!" she sobbed. "Of course I will!" Wailing happy tears she threw herself at him—even kneeling he was almost as tall as she was and she was able to circle his neck with her arms, burying her face in his jaw and letting her tears wet his neck. "I love you, Zev. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Sash," he said gruffly, his voice deep. Stumbling to his feet, he embraced her and pulled her in, off her feet, hugging her so tightly she was afraid he might hurt his ribs. But she couldn't let go, and instead, held him tighter, kissing his neck, and sobbing his name.

Minutes later, when they could both speak without crying, he set her back down on her feet and took her shaking hand.

With a frown, he looked at her hands and traced his finger over hers. Then with a small smile, he slid the thick ring onto her thumb.

"It's not the same finger as your traditions, but maybe that's a good thing. Maybe… maybe we make our own traditions now?" he asked quietly.

Holding her hand high and looking at that simple, but beautiful ring—that little piece of him, piece of those years they'd been forced to spend apart, and she swore her heart doubled in size.

"Yes, Zev," she gasped, then threw herself back into his chest. "Yes!"

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