Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Something Diminished

Broken, Broken Vessel

Darkness engulfed me.

It spilled in from the door to the classroom, following the second Amari like a nightmare.

The Nightmare spoke like a crowd in sync. "You have done well to bring this to our attention, Amari. See to it your sister and Verity are well. I will address the others." A pale mask of stone perched atop what I now conceptualized to be a cape of darkness. Six eyes and three mouths gazed from the carved recesses of the mask that angled toward me. 

"You are this Vessel that enrolled today?" Asked something behind the mask.

The darkness began to close like curtains around me, cutting me off from the rest of the room. Before the last of the light went out, I heard their voice again, coming from another source. I could make it out now, the rattling of another unseen mask between words. This singular voice lacked the gravity of the ones addressing me, but the presence was similar. "Young Whisper, about this body of yours..." The curtain of darkness closed shut, and with it all sound and light from the world outside. I was entirely alone with this mask and its voices.

I needed to collect myself. The gaping hole in my chest was making it hard to think. I nodded my confirmation while focusing my attention more inward. There was so little sand I could manipulate now that I had time to stop and take stock of myself. The weight of the wet particulate I'd folded inside wasn't drying fast enough despite being exposed to the heated core of storms within me. My severed arm was within this shadowy prison somewhere, if I could just...

Ruby red light dropped from underneath the mask. A glowing red pendent bathed the space in an unsettling light, allowing me to see the shadowy tendril coiled around my severed arm. Before I could react, it pressed the limb into the core of my body before releasing its hold.

"Collect yourself if you can. Unraveling would be dangerous for a young shard so recently severed from a whole."

 I absorbed the arm as quickly as I could. "Who or what are you?"

"Many things. In this Orbital Hall of learning, our primary role is guardian above all. For those that struggle to coexist with others, we are the instructor some prefer." 

A long and slender length of mirror with razor sharp edges slid free from an unseen sheath. The dangling red light cast what remained of me and my reflection in a foreboding tone.

"In the darkness, pain makes for a poor teacher. You might find a mirror better reflects the lessons you wish to take away from this encounter."

My whole self shifted in several directions at once. The storm inside me wanted to lash out, to escape this second encroaching prison of darkness that now surrounded the failing sand container. Instincts in my body begged me to shy away from this overwhelming presence, to ditch the arms, legs, and fall into a defensive crouch. For some reason the image of a flimsy fortress came to mind, I could be more efficient than that.

It was my eyes that betrayed the rest. They followed the swinging red ruby light that swung back and forth in front of the mirror. Each swing cast different elements of my form in red. From my clenched fist to the storm threatening to escape my open wound. When I held the mirror's reflection of the storm within me, my anger turned to fear. But when my eyes settled upon their own reflection, the storm felt so small a threat that it bubbled down and out of view of its own accord.

 I needed something to latch onto. "Is there something I can call you?"

"To what end?"

I could not meet its gaze and instead slumped closer to the ground. "I don't understand."

"What are we to you? In this moment. An instructor? A guardian? Something else?"

I got the overwhelming sense that the mask was bearing down upon me. "I'm not sure I'm keen on either. If I'm being honest. Can I just ask your name? Or something easy."

"We have many. To those in passing, we are content to be addressed as a Chorus."

"Chorus. Okay. Wait, you can be more than one thing? Like, Amari and her twin?"

"There are more than two of her, but there are even infinitely more ways to present and embody one's own existence. To answer your question, no. I am more like what would happen if you and Verity found enough of a harmony to act as one while remaining distinctly apart."

All of me recoiled a bit at that. A chance glance at the mask revealed it shifting in place but making no other sign indicating the purpose of the gesture.

"Not all ways are sustainable. Not for everyone."

"Are you telling me that there's a right way? And I'm doing it wrong?" It was something. A little defiance allowed me to close and harden the exposed wound in my chest.

"Such things are more personal truths. Most here have already found their truths. Their aspects reflect this."

The warmth within me went cold. I suddenly felt lesser than those around me. "Most? Not all?"

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"Verity dreamed of something more, but I suspect she has yet to really find herself. I see the same in how you cling to this aspect of storms like it is a suitable heart."

Was it possible to light a spark in my eyes again? I avoided glancing at the mirror. "In what way is Verity like me?"

"We cannot voice her innermost thoughts. But if one watched her over a period of time, one might conclude the shifting in the dimensions of her body comes with hesitation. The ease at which she can adjust the liquid aspects of her body comes with an ease of regression as much as it allows experimentation."

The amount of focus it required to empathize with Verity caused my body to lose definition. The swinging red light drew my eyes back to the mirror, and demanded I reflect upon how hard it was to keep a shape with the body I had.

"Fine. Okay. I don't know about this aspect stuff, but I feel like you're here to help." Why did I suddenly feel as if I'd expended a day's worth of effort? These were just words. I had nothing more to say in me. Maybe if I could use the Chorus's. 

Whatever they were trying to do here, I got the sense that the Chorus was gently laying down options I could follow up on. One had to be worth pursuing the meaning of.

It took a moment to compose myself. I didn't bother with the physical details, only rising to look up at the mask. 

"If I can circle back to something you said that's been bothering me, how do I prevent this unraveling thing?"

"We will do our best to preserve you."

And they did.

 

* * *

Vessel, Student of the Chorus

"The last three days have been hard for everyone. No one is going to take that away from you."

The Chorus' class assembled outside for what I suspected to be whole gathering storm of reasons. I suspected the primary reason was tied up in Chorus's suggestion that an undisturbed dream and rest would benefit Verity most. She had not come to any significant harm, so I supposed all was well, even if I didn't understand it. Unfortunately that was more than could be said for the town.

"Those of you who are unsure, you are welcome to remain here in whatever capacity feels right to you."

The arrival of Verity and I left an entire seaside town underwater. It took effort to swivel the clay head I hid inside, requiring a conscious effort on my part to survey the strip of land I had conceived as the beach I woke up on. This new shell I now hid in was less a body that responded to thought and more something I needed to manipulate. I was told it would take time to get used to, but it was stable enough to not require more than occasional maintenance.

"If you do not wish to stay with the Orbital Hall, any Instructor you meet will give priority assistance to those not departing with us tomorrow."

A not so quick turn of the head showed another reason class was being held outside. Half of those assembled, a number I could count across ten fingers divided between a pair of clay hands, seemed to pay more attention to what was washing ashore. Or rather, what wasn't. As I understood it, the 'beach' I washed ashore on was a good quarter of a day's walk through winding town streets from where the beach used to be. Everything in between remain submerged to varying degrees even three days after the storm, Verity and I, broke apart against the mountains. A fact few thankfully seemed to be privy to.

Apparently Verity spent the first day rescuing as many as she could, getting a lot practical experience in figuring out a new body for herself. The second day was when the Orbital Hall crested the peak of the mountain range. Its guardians, instructors, and everyone else descended along some trade road to assist in any way they could.

This school traveled across the continent using unknown means but offered short term use of its resources and a long term education to any who wished to learn as it made trips between civilized settlements. The plan had been to stay in this coastal town for seven rotations of the sun in the sky. In that time it would engage in trade, offload students content with their studies, and take on all who were interested. There were a lot of hungry and injured survivors with not enough resources to linger, so it was little wonder Verity and I got enrolled as students without much scrutiny.

"Today, I intend to go over the concept of Reconstitution. You are encouraged to remain even if this is a review. As always, a list of what other Instructors plan to cover today is available."

Other students slowly withdrew from the Orbital's edge to sit and get comfortable for the lesson. No one seemed willing to take the Chorus up on their offer. Which made a depressing kind of sense. Unraveling was a frightening concept. As the Chorus had explained to me, when Emotions and Aspects gained control of the body, it was the Soul they burned as fuel instead of the other way around.

As I turned to join the group I caught one of the five Amari sisters searching for my gaze. I knew what she was looking for. Seeing my own eyes in the Chorus's mirror had provoked a crestfallen feeling within me that had yet to leave me. She searched through the windows to my immaterial self with an expression of understanding. Gone was the white in my now gray-blue eyes, a reflection of my diminished Soul.

I was the one to break the eye contact by turning to listen to Chorus' lecture about restoring the body. Learning how to repair the material self was a cold comfort at best. Chorus had prefaced all of this with the warning that I may never reignite the spark in my eyes.

Movement at the corner of my vision was hard to ignore, but restoring the material self would help me prevent unraveling any further. I did my best to pay attention to the more comprehensive lecture than the basics I'd received from the Chorus earlier in the day. Amari's arm brushed against mine as she took a seat in the grass next to me. Experiencing the touch of another through the segmented body of clay felt more distant, but somehow no less intimate. I leaned and gave Amari an acknowledging nudge back.

I had wanted something better. Whatever it was about this land and its people Verity so desperately wanted to be a part of, I supposed I was no longer entirely against the idea. This would do for now.

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