Chapter 5: Chapter 5: A Dream Exposed

Verity's Soul

I was adrift, untethered from material concerns. With no wounds threatening my waking or immaterial self, the pain did not follow me into the dream.

 "I was wondering when you might again desire my company." To again hear the voice of the lady adorned like the night sky was a soothing welcome. I found it strange what did and did not follow me unto the space beyond consciousness. My eyes were closed, but her presence was a delight to the senses that lifted my spirits. Today had not been going as well as I had hoped, but getting to spend time with the entity that had been there for me in my lowest moments was a high note to end on.

My vision filled with a familiar night sky that slowly took the shape of a more me-sized being. "Well, I did mess up again." I said, suddenly a little hesitant. "I'm not entirely sure it's my problem to address. I guess I was hoping to just have someone to talk to that wasn't..." Well, me. The other me I kept bottled up. My voice trailed off as I forcefully dismissed the notion that the thing retained any resemblance to me. Somewhere deep within the watery depths of my soul, a door shut tight.

"I see. First, a proposal."

"Oh?"

"Now that you are whole and well, might you be willing to show me the world behind those eyes of yours?"

"Please excuse me if I heard you wrong. I think I hit my head, but did you just ask to share a dream with me?" Her response approximated a nod of affirmation. I had to prod her for a verbal conformation. Trying to make out the movements of the night sky personified in the black void of sleep proved to be a bit of a tall ask. Thankfully she seemed content to let me take my time considering the idea.

The eyes being the window to the soul was a common enough phrase in stories. Even the most violent of storms had tranquil eyes at their core. Maybe I could learn something by opening up and getting a fresh perspective, if only a little.

She had expressed that she had power to bring change to only the worlds in dreams. I had to set aside the knowledge that the soul were near impossible to alter without massive time investment. Injuries she had nursed while I had been unconscious were repaired in the waking world, it stood to reason that somehow my material self would be vulnerable to some extent if I accepted her request. Never mind what kind of harm someone might be able to do if given access to the immaterial self. This was a big ask on her part. Regardless, I was seriously considering granting her request.

After my encounter with Vessel I needed to reconstitute. Was there anything stopping me from doing it while I slept? All one needed was to reaffirm one's self. Going about the process was different for everyone but it always involved spending time engaging in things that appealed to each individual. I felt most rejuvenated after expanding my horizons. Even changing everything about myself could not take away my love of flight. It felt like a safe bet that new experiences would continue to count for the purposes of reconstitution. A shared dream definitely had the potential to be all of that and more.

I had to consider just what I was inviting into my soul. Judging by the aspects of the night sky she adorned herself in, she wasn't a small entity. That said, she had been there to see me come apart and was willing to help me put myself back together. All that and she had not asked for anything in return. Whatever control she had over dreams was as fascinating an aspect as it befuddled. Could it have been her solution to interacting with a world too small and delicate for her? If that was the angle it felt cruel to deprive her of the interaction. She'd been nothing but kind and gentle so far.

"I think I'd like that."

The night sky itself extended a hand in invitation, the gesture having a weight approximating gravity to it. Giving into to her pull had a nostalgic affect that reminded me of nights when the moon strengthened waves at my call. Like flying, it was something of the old life I had forgotten how much affection for it burned within me. That said, this was a longing that had not once stirred within me during the past three days. Perhaps those thoughts were cast aside to form a part of what drives Vessel so. If either of us still resembled a storm in temperament, it was them.  Maybe there were elements of my self left to explore that sharing in a dream would reveal. I allowed myself to feel the pull of  the land of dreams.

Her words were so gentle. "When you close your eyes and drift from the waking world, you are normally left alone with your soul." I felt her voice slowly trail away as my mind began to paint a scene for us both to inhabit. "Two willing souls resting together need not be alone." As nice as she made it sound, mine was a soul that had long been in conflict with the body it inhabited.

My words were less than kind, but they were born of a pain foundational to the dream. "Strip away the material self. Leave behind the armor that provides me validation and protection when worn. What is left?" Mine was normally a perspective broader than most. I had gotten used to bottling things up. This made me uncomfortable with the idea of someone gazing upon the destruction left in the wake of storms meant to give opportunity for fresh life to sprout. Mine was a weather worn soul with a place in the world I expected few to forgive, let alone appreciate. If anyone had seen as much as I had, it would be someone who embodied the night sky itself.

Bracing for the worst, I opened my eyes to the sound of what I can only describe as a dreamy sigh. "Verity, your soul is beautiful."

Her words drew me to the moments in time I had held onto. My eyes followed hers to the sky where an eternal sunset painted the world behind my eyes in a bright pink. We stood on a cloud from where the horizon outlined entire continents, each traced from memory and arrayed in a dreamlike manner where all could be taken in at once. Looking down I could pick out the gardens I had nourished where the world itself had once lay scarred and barren.

"Yeah. I guess it is, isn't it?" Given enough time and distance.

My own personal heart-shaped rain cloud rose to greet me with a gentle shower. Despite everything, I was still most at ease under the rain's touch. It did much to put my brooding at ease and the effect brought out a hearty laugh that brightened the night sky at my side.

"What can I call you?" I asked as gently as I can.

"I thought it was obvious." She said with a knowing smile that she quickly reigned in. "I apologize. Please, call me Lady Night. I forget that not everyone has access to books. You've relied on the stories told by those who smothered you for so long."

"Lady Night." I savored the words. "How much of it, is you?"

Her knowing smile spread across the width of her face. This time she spoke with a mix of comfort and confidence that drew me closer with every word. "Enough to share your sense of loneliness in knowing just how much there is to see beyond a reach others cannot conceive of."

Here, in the twilight of my dream, I could make her out in contrast with a sky not filled with visible stars. Her dream shape stood far larger than mine, curving in all sorts of places that suggested the shape of a frivolously large dress. Upon catching my gaze she gave me a twirl before turning to face me that sent the stars in her night sky shooting round her dress and into a new arrangement.

"You're like me." Was the first thought to surface into spoken word without a hint of guile.

"I'm charmed you think so." She allowed herself to sink into the malleable cloud before casting her eyes at other sights my soul had to share before continuing. "You're right in that I had always thought us to be kindred souls. A difference in scale perhaps, but each endlessly infatuated with the worlds we see from above."

"But could never be a part of." I said, now knowing this to no longer be true. It was an affirmation, one that coaxed a giggle from Lady Night.

You are reading story Ruinous Hearts at novel35.com

I averted my gaze and guided the arrangement of clouds to better reveal the sun forever setting over the horizon.

"Is this your first time seeing a sunset? Like from this perspective?"

"Yeah." Again, that dreamy sigh, filled with a contentedness that of the sort only walking a while in a new body gave me. "I'm at the mercy of what others dream of. It's not always pleasant to see the world through new eyes, but when it does..." I wanted to bottle this moment up forever.

"Do you think you could help me make a dress like... well, all of you?"

"Oh? Would you mind if I asked you to be more specific?"

"I want others to see you as I do. Less an ominous darkness and more a soft sea of blue adorned with an array of lights running away with an entire spectrum of shapes, sizes, and intensities."

"Verity, you make me sound beautiful."

We sat for a while cushioned atop fluffy pink clouds and I walked her through the world I longed to be a part of. As detached from this world I felt, I found the experience to be affirming in how much further removed she was from my perspective. I came away from the tour feeling fulfilled like I was precisely where I needed to be.

 

With newfound affirmations in hand, I felt brave enough to unlock the parts of myself that lay buried within the deepest depths of my soul. Lady Night offered my hand a gentle squeeze as the dream slowly became nightmarish. Water surged and battered the world from above and below. Pink clouds grew and expanded until they filled the sky. We could see everything there was to see, and in doing so, threatened to drown it all.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself again in the Night's tender embrace.

"Why did I wake up in your arms?" I asked, now unafraid to bare my whole self in front of her.

"Oh Verity, how could I ignore your cries for help?" She said, brushing aside a pink puff of cloud that poured from the depths of my core.

I felt like there was so much more of me to show off to her. As content as I'd been to finally experience the world as I had gotten the opportunity to, I was still lessening myself in other ways. "Was it because I was willing to destroy myself to create something new?"

"You would not be the first to try. It is my hope now that even you can see that your soul would be a terrible thing to waste." Something about her words stirred the world of soul into motion. The sun slowly began to set, allowing an endless night to embrace the world.

As the moon rose to a place of prominence, the oceans grew more tempestuous and I grew a little more sure of myself. "I thought I knew better, but there's still so little I know. I wanted to help Vessel, but why would they listen to me when I'm not being true to myself either?"

"Dearest Verity, there is as much beauty to be found in death and destruction as there is in life and creation. When I look past the name you have unearthed and see the whole of the truth you hide, I feel compelled to offer you dreams where you can be yourself. That is what I offer. And I offer it only to those who might otherwise never live a day as their whole selves in the waking world."

I had to sit with that for a while. It was a lot to take in. "You really do this for others?"

The light of moons illuminated our little cloud perch. "Would you like to meet one of them?"

"Are they asleep right now? Is that alright?"

"The one I had in mind settled down for a nap and asked me to pass along a message to you. I am to assure you that Vessel, Amari, and her are all okay."

"Whisper?"

Lady Night nodded and beckoned me to rise from our perch in the clouds. I followed without hesitation. We departed from my dream for one forged by a steady series of deaths played out on a smaller and more intimate scale. To carry out small tasks and then perish with purpose was the foundation for Willow's soul.

On any other night I might have felt out of place.

Here and now? I was welcomed.