Chapter 12: 12 First Cut, Part One

In New Invania nobody had expected anything of Tsuyoshi and Zelko until they'd managed to bump into Milo and accidentally rescued themselves. They'd relied on each other for everything. Zelko had become his universe, his other half, the only person he could trust with his bodily integrity. He was tempted to think of that time as idyllic, as if they hadn't been running for their lives.

As soon as other people intruded on that world, things had started to change. It was hard not to, when people were watching you, wanting things from you. Here, not many people wanted much of anything from them, which Tsuyoshi suspected was largely because everything he said managed to piss so many people off.

So much time and space to touch, here, without the ability to get as close as they'd like. You know, if they didn't want to be electrocuted to death.

Didn't mean they weren't going to touch as much as they could get away with. He was with Zelko when the group came barging into the hospital, that beautiful mouth pressing his open, and those lovely large hands grasping at his skin through his shirt.

It was Tabitha's prissy voice complaining about them not keeping it to their room that got in the way of all that.

Zelko leaned close to whisper in his year, "It pains me every time I'm separated from your mouth."

"You better be pained by it," Tsuyoshi said.

"Nobody needs to see this kind of display when someone is injured," Tabitha declared.

Tsuyoshi looked over Zelko's shoulder at the huddled group – a trembling boy with his arm covered in blood, half-leaning on Josephine's shoulder, and Tabitha's hand placed on his elbow, helping not at all.

"Leave them alone. They're in love! It's sweet," Angharad said.

Zelko sighed and moved out of the way.

Angharad sat exactly where she'd been when he'd left her half an hour ago. How long had she been watching—?

"Whatever. What happened and am I going to have to get the doctor?" Tsuyoshi asked.

"Somebody attacked Tony, but he won't tell us who it was," Tabitha said.

The boy, maybe eleven or twelve years old, a soft looking thing, trembled a little more and shook his head. "I tripped. I'm clumsy. It's nothing."

Tsuyoshi lifted the kid's sleeve to look. The skin had been sliced open a couple of inches long and just deep enough to piss blood everywhere. Was this kid actually under the impression they'd believe he tripped onto a knife? "You'll need stitches."

And 'nothing' in this case probably meant Neo.

Josephine clenched a fist and shook it, dramatically. "I'll punch that guy so hard he'll feel it for ten years."

From the looks on everyone's faces, Tsuyoshi was pretty sure they all thought the same thing he did, that it was Neo who sliced the kid open.

"You go do that and give me space to work," Tsuyoshi said.

*

Stitching up bodies had been something Dr Yeoh taught him to do in the rubble of a medical clinic. Enough times that he could neatly and efficiently sew a wound back together. He dealt with cleaning and patching the cut in one of the treatment rooms, and when he sent the kid away and went out to the hallway Angharad and Tabitha were still there, waiting for him.

"Can't talk, ladies. I need to wash my hands again."

"Oh, no, we can definitely talk to you while you're washing your hands. Right, Tabitha? Unless for some reason you need to take off your clothes just to wash your hands."

Tabitha scoffed. "He has nothing I haven't seen before on other men."

"Oh, believe me, it's much more beautiful than anything you've seen on another man. You couldn't handle it," Tsuyoshi said.

"I think you're getting all the handling you can handle," Tabitha said, and arched a wry eyebrow.

"Nobody here is getting all the handling they can handle. It's banned," he said.

Angharad laughed, but it was a strangely high-pitched false sound, and then tucked more hair behind her ears. He started to suspect that was her nervous tell. "Okay, sex jokes, that's cute and all, but are you actually going to wash your hands or are you just going to stand in front of the sink and stuff?"

"Tabitha needs to see the doctor and get her wound checked," he said. He looked away to focus on the task at hand, instead of whatever they wanted to distract him with.

"Only because I'm here and not because you told me to," Tabitha said.

He could hear the sound of her heels walking away, up the slick linoleum hallway, that heavy click-click.

"Her wound?" Angharad asked.

"None of your business. Secret doctor stuff," he said.

"You're not a doctor."

"Still not your business."

"Fine." He expected her to pout and sulk but when he looked up again she bit at her lip, her face a little bit flushed. "Were you watching us earlier?"

"N-no."

It was funny to watch her eyes slide away from his and then dart back, like she was trying to get away with something. She was adorable when she was embarrassed. He moved into her personal space to loom over her and see if he could make her more so.

"I think you were. I think you're a sneaky voyeur."

"Well, not that I am, but if I were— I, I mean, I'm totally not. But you do make it easy to catch you and Zelko like that. Like, just saying, maybe you're an exhibitionist."

"My dear, there is no maybe about that." She slapped at his chest, as if that would stop him teasing her. Instead, he grabbed her wrist, so she couldn't try it again, and didn't press too tight against her fragile bones. "Don't worry. A pretty girl like you can get handled any time she likes and doesn't have to watch other people do it instead."

"Ah, you're so mean," she said, then flopped against his shoulder, head first. "And I'm dizzy."

Maybe she was still getting tired when upright too long. He probably shouldn't be so cruel. "Should I carry you back to your room, princess?"

"My hero."

That was definitely mockery. Just for that he was making her walk.

Okay, sure, and walking with her to be sure she got there safe. He'd do it for anyone.

*

In the time since he last saw it the room she shared with Sophie had erupted into a riot of crumpled clothing, as if their suitcases had exploded and scattered things everywhere.

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"Shoes off when you sit on the bed," he said.

"Yes, daddy," she said, and complied.

"That's the most disturbing thing you've ever said to me."

She laughed as she let herself fall back into her nest of pillows and sat at what looked an uncomfortable angle. She did look tired, though, the skin under her eyes thin and dark even through her makeup.

He had to pile up the clothes on one end of the bed to clear the mess before he could sit down next to her. "What did you and Tabitha want to talk to me about?"

"Not anything, really. We were just bored."

"Sick of Jin already?"

"He's busy trying to talk to, um, a person that is not me. About stuff I don't care about. Boring military stuff."

"He is deeply boring."

"I mean, he's okay. Most boys are kind of boring, though. Except you, of course."

"Of course."

"There's all that macho stuff about impressing other men through the power of being mean to women. That's why I like you. You make me feel safe."

He found himself blinking in confusion. "I make you feel safe?"

"Yeah, like I can trust you."

"I'm very dangerous. I'll have you know I was in a gang when I was fourteen."

"That would explain the neck tattoo."

"No, that I got last year."

"What does it mean?"

"It means don't let a cute boy talk you into a tattoo on a part of your body you can't ever see."

"It looks nice, though. And I can really only see it when you have your hair tied up, anyway, so even if it was gross you wouldn't have to worry."

"As if I would ever worry about such a thing."

He was about to remove one of the pillows from her bed when the door slammed open.

"Neo swore he didn't do it but I hit him anyway!" yelled out from the door in Josephine's unmistakable voice. He looked up to see her blinking down at them, face turning red. "I see you're busy. I'll come back later."

Josephine did not close the door behind her when she walked away.

Tsuyoshi looked back at Angharad and started to laugh. "She has a thing for you!"

"She does not."

"She definitely does. She thinks you're so dreamy that you could tempt me into heterosexuality."

"As if anyone could do that. And, anyway. She has a girlfriend. I, technically, have a boyfriend. It's not like that."

"If you keep saying 'technically' every time you mention this boyfriend eventually people will figure out that you don't like him that much."

"No, they won't. They never do."

"We'll see. I better get back to my boyfriend before you tempt me away from him."

She shrieked with laughter and slapped him. "You're so mean."

"Actually rest," he said, standing. "Don't just read your boring programming books and forget to rest. And clean up this place because all this mess is ugly." But he kissed her hair and winked to soften the blow.

*

His amusement began to fade as soon as he got outside. The idea of someone feeling safe around him, of all people. He found himself clenching his fist as he walked back to the hospital. An ugly habit. He had so many ugly habits.

In the distance he could see Neo leaning against a building, skin of his chin and jaw blooming with a lovely fresh bruise. Tsuyoshi tried not to think that nobody would care if he killed Neo right that moment, just because he could. He looked away.

Against the cafeteria the list of rules had a new number, but no rule to fill it in yet. But he had a heavy feeling in his chest when he looked at the number.

In the hospital the doctor sat, smoking and filling in the paperwork she'd created for herself, lines and lines of words he couldn't read. He didn't know how she could coop herself up like that without going quietly mad. Then again, did it make a difference? They were all trapped anyway.

He knocked on the door frame.

"I knew you were there," she said. Ashed her cigarette into a mug and went straight back to smoking.

"You should get out near the barrier and check if you can see your son on the other side."

"He doesn't want to see me."

"Does that matter? Isn't it your job as a parent to make sure he's still alive?"

She swivelled around in her chair, eyes narrowed behind her glasses. "Don't tell me what to do. Take out your foul mood on someone who cares."

"Fine."

At least when he got back to his room there was Zelko, waiting for him, sitting on the bed with a pile of books next to him. As soon as Tsuyoshi sat next to him Zelko pulled him close. Tsuyoshi put his hands on Zelko's thigh and sat there, quietly, taking in the warm smell of his skin.

For the first time in his life, there were no ghosts of the pasts following him, howling and moaning and making his life miserable. Only here, close enough to hear Zelko's heartbeat, could he drown out the silence.

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