Chapter 7: GOOD MORNING ARIA

GOOD MORNING ARIA.

The camera is set, and ready to go. 

I lay it on the faint pathway of the house, making sure to get the best view. I lifted my tripod just so that it was angled for the window. Snap. 

Good Morning Aria

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ARIA

L

Thursday 14th October 4:53 pm. 

“Don’t do anything stupid.” I looked at myself in the mirror, the wet sounds of rain discerning through the window. 

Damien was waiting for me outside and I looked like an absolute mess. I’ve spent the past 5 minutes aggressively pressing down my hair. The first time I’ve ever had a chance to make an advance with my crush, my hair just had to lose its gel. I had to rely on my mom's emergency brush in my bag in case this happened, but it just didn’t work! Thanks a lot, Damilola for telling me to ‘try something new

“Everything good over there?” He asked from behind the door. 

“Just fine!” I lied. 

Why won’t this hair stay down? I came to school looking amazing, and everyone complimented my afro-do now it was all up. If Damien saw me like this he would think I was trying to be Albert Einstein. A scatter of things from my bag all over the counter, anything to make it go down. A toothbrush? won’t work.

What the hell do I do?

It was all going well, we were walking together after school lingering in the hallways, just the two of us. Gentle discussions about the art and our favourite art styles, complaining about Mr Checker. It was then when we walked past the dance studio that my first problem arose.  The top strands of curl weren’t levelled down like they were this morning, in fact, it was the complete and utter opposite, they were beginning to float up causing my two-bun style to look more like a 4 bun mess. 

And guess what? In the process of all of that, he asked me over to his house to study.  Once I noticed, I ran. I can tell you I’ve never run this fast since Year 6 sports day. My mind was too embarrassed to even answer his calls of concern. “I can’t believe he had to look at me like that.” 

 I messed up so bad. 

The clock above spoke exactly 4:01. Its arms moved in a stern direction. I was so dead. I  looked at myself directly in the eyes in the mirror. 

Smile, Aria. Smile. 

The taps on the clock made my heart grow with intensity. I was sweating profusely and had difficulty breathing. I could feel the open winds laughing at me from outside.

“Aria, if you need anything I can call-” Damien said with concern.

“No, it’s fine! I’ll be out soon.” Why would I promise that

“All good.” 

I turned back to the mirror, collecting all of the mess I’d created. Taking a final look at my reflection, I reassured myself of all that could go wrong. 

“Everything will go exactly as planned, just fake a smile,” I said, taking a deep breath out. However, I thought mirrors were supposed to be a reflection of you

So why wasn’t she moving? 

The girl in the mirror just wanted to impress her crush but she just wasn’t moving. The feelings of fear and anxiety that invaded my body weren’t clear to the girl in the mirror. In fact, she looked just normal, a bit too normal. The girl reflected an image of the emotions I wanted to feel, but I couldn’t. She had the same eyes, posture and face as me but no sentiment. Just a plain, blank, stare. I gradually picked up my mirror, trying to see if she would do the same. Spoiler alert: she did. Her brown irises pinned themselves on me whilst she copied my movements. Maybe my thoughts are getting to me.  I just need to go to Damien and I could give him my answer but she says no. Is it normal for the person in the mirror to hear what your thoughts are? 

The nervous light started blinking with more intensity, you’re scared too? The impulses grew bigger, and the urge to let out my cries of panic and dismay was put at an adjourned traffic light. Her ice-cold face pinned onto me like a surveillance camera, following me as I carefully moved away from the sink. Slow, careful, footsteps. 

Tap, tap, tap 

Perhaps she didn’t want me to leave. 

The dismal tap let out water in sync with my movement. All I had to do was reach the door across the room and give Damien my answer, “Yes I will go to your house!” and pretend as if nothing happened. We would talk for hours after that and I would withdraw that experience from my headspace. Just as I thought I could persist, the stall behind me flushed.  It will be fine, it will all be fine. I was just in front of the exit, I’ll be fine. Maybe it was a teacher who could save me from all of this and soothe me that maybe it was all in my head. 

  I mean, It’s completely normal for a door to open and for nobody to emerge right? 

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DAMIEN ?

E

She still wasn’t out yet.

The faint dim hallways stretched far ahead as I waited, patiently and gently, Why is she taking so long? I held my head back on the white walls. I’d just asked her to come over to my house and still hadn’t gotten a response. The halls had instilled an annoying stillness in themselves, everything was void of any movement. The printers, doors, and lockers were all stationery in action as if time itself had gone on a break. I called out to her, asking if she was okay, I only told her to surprise her a little bit-you know the classic welcome gift. She’d reassured me and said she was fine. The trepidation in your voice says otherwise. Aria sweetheart, it’s not good to lie. 

I lay my head on one of the lockers and pulled my camera out. The sweet memories of my family. Beautifully, Nora and Mother lay on my shoulder smiling their hearts away, a permanent imprint of disaster. Dad and Norman turn their heads from the pool trying to join in. I Miss you guys. Majorca 2017 had to be the best final trip ever. Until now, their eyes sparkled whenever they saw me, It would be nice to see the same for you, Aria. 

Speaking of Aria, I can’t just invite her over and not make space for her, just a pro tip: in the Taylor house, Mom says to never invite a guest in unless their eyes are ready to take the flash. You can handle that, right Aria? It won’t hurt that much. Taking out my camera, I adjusted the settings to 1080P. Perfect. Views of the long hallway overtook my screen and the far landscape of the school field remained picturesque. At the top of the screen, the memory card was full. This means one of these has to go, I said, staring at the cohesive faces. I went through all the recent photos I took. Stella’s face had become more wrinkled, and Uncle’s jaw was beginning to lose its polarity even though Jennifer was looking mature. They say you should make space for people in your life, but they never specify how many. After all, I am just doing this for fun. I held the delete option on all of them, the arcane faces of our victims being removed left and right, all for the sake of Aria. 

I heard the door slam in front of me, finally. 

“Took you long enough?” I joked, smiling at her. 

No response, her face had looked displaced of emotion. Cold and motionless. “Aria?” I turned my head closer to her. Her eyes contained a pool of apprehension, so apprehensive that her blood vessels were navy blue. Perfect. It took her a few seconds of petrification for her impulses to start running again. 

“Right! Hello, I just had to attend to girl problems.” She said laughing awkwardly, it’s not good to lie to Aria. 

“Sure, sure.” 

A soft hush elevated throughout the hallways, I think Auntie went too far. “So, how do you feel about going to my house this Saturday, don’t want to fail my mocks again” I joked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. She was still stunned, this time her hands had reached a new level of a tremble. 

“Right, My mom is okay with the visit, I just have to be home by 6.” 

Home by six? might have to make the show quick and snappy then.

“Perfect!” 

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ARIA 

T

SATURDAY 15TH 10:43 AM

She’d locked the door. 

It’s funny how she’s back. More cold and despondent to the sight of my face, just an inch of glass protecting me from her wrath. I thought she would stay there, but surprisingly she’s following me around, every reflection and image of me feels distorted by her.  The mini tv in the background broadcasting Good Morning Britain in the back.

 You’d think my escaping would have stopped her from following me, even my shadows are disrupting its flow because of her. No. I hadn’t forgotten the incident and it torments me in the present moment. It's all in my head, I once thought, ignoring all the taunts and hindrances she would bring to me. 

But no. 

She was still gazing, further than my soul into something she wanted. The brown eyes that I would also be proud of enclosed themselves with a flash in the middle. Like the presence of my face was leaving her in awe. The sensory nerves in my body were tightened like a seatbelt, clutching desperately to the only functioning nerve, my eyes. My bus was due to come in 1 hour and I still wasn’t fully dressed. I was stuck in my room, staring at my vanity hoping she’d disappear and my theories would be correct that it was all in my head. But rather I was intwisted in the psychological game of hide and seek, 

Her mouth was tightly put together as if it was sewn to never speak again. As if she was silenced.  What am I talking about? She is me. I am the one who’s doing this to myself. 

I felt the fastens of my reflective eyes pushing me down to my vanity seat.

 Until the clock struck at 10:53 am. 

The TV immediately turned off, holding the room into silence. Her eyes still in flash, still sat, navigating me to the centre of my room, The slow tunes of Esmerelda by Arnet swarmed the walls of my room.  leftover remnants of rain dripped in sync onto the cold windowsill, as if they wanted to join in.

All areas of my body are put into irresist. I was brought up to the centre of my room. Left, right, centre, turn. My partner was heavy on persistence, hitting my foot whenever I took the wrong steps. 

Sweet Esmeralda. 

The footwork became more in sync with it, Left, right, centre, turn. The pace gradually increased and I was now in ultimate synchronization with it. 

Let it burn. 

The tingling scent of fire enveloped my nose. I had to keep going. The laughing winds outside discerned the faint ballad, the unhappy clouds outside trying to interrupt our performance but nothing could be done. There was absolutely nowhere to go, its wispy and transparent hands pinned onto mine ensuring that I don’t go anywhere, an exit looking devoid. I felt my body drop into a country jive, my hair almost touching the floors. The dancing continued. 

You put a lion on a leash 

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Sounds of cackling came from her, just because she had no mouth didn’t stop her from laughing like me, trying to smile like me, replicating the noises like me. The words of the song flowed in every direction possible around me, tightening themselves onto my veins as I tried to maintain my sanity. It was her, from the mirror. What am I talking about? It’s me, isn’t it? I felt the gentle silverware on my hands. All I could think about was Damien and how he was probably expecting me. Removed from the desire to leave, I gave in. The song repeated and the steps continued. My laughs of excitement almost overtook the sound of the music. It felt like a rotation of hell, but she wasn’t supposed to know that. Dare I turn my head up and look at the clock, I’m guessing it was nearly 11:30. 

The song was so caught up in my head that this had become natural, the flow, the steps, everything was untamed. How was I going to explain this Damien? I watched as she enjoyed the performance from the other side of the mirror, her seamless mouth forming a smile on her face. It’s nice seeing Aria happy for once, isn’t it? 

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DAMIEN!

I

The wooden planks vibrated with cries. I guess today was my day to make dinner. 

“Right, what’s for dinner!” I called out from the opening. No response. 

Carefully I made my way downstairs to find my family. Mother lay to rest on the sofa, slowly I airbrushed her face ensuring she didn't scare any visitors away.

“Dinner? Who said Dinner!” Norman exclaimed, emerging from his bedroom

“Can you keep quiet? mothers trying to sleep.” I warned him. His eyes turned white. 

Norman was my older brother from another mother, he didn’t know that though, I guess we are not always entitled to know the full story. We were only 2 years apart yet sometimes It feels like he acts younger than his age. Often, I’d struggle to connect with him as I simply couldn’t find a premise of a bond between us. Don’t take this as me thinking I am better than him, I’m just recognising his flaws. Speaking of the devil, Dad emerged from his coffin, coughing from all the smoke. His long curly beard was covered in god knows what. 

The cupboard was bloated with options. Lasagna, pasta, mac n cheese, you name it. I guess Mom and brother weren’t particularly picky about their food choices, but I know dad was. I know he preferred his lasagna with just the correct amount of parsley or his paella with an equal prawn-to-chickpeas ratio. I settled the bronze plates on the tables, filling them with lasagna.

“Had no idea you could cook this well, Gordon Ramsey,” Norman said, staring at my food. 

Finally, we’d all gathered in the once-in-a-lifetime event of dinner. The room fell still, the sounds of rattling forks and food being chewed instilled in the room. Just like how I liked it. 

“What’s for dinner?” His croaky voice said. 

“Pasta.” 

I looked up at my family as they ate, should I tell them? I’m sure Mom and Dad will be proud. The many years of being called Disgusting Damien, I finally have someone who sees through that. Putting my fork and knife down, I cleared my throat, 

“Guys, I have a girlfriend.” 

I was met with a lot of stares like I’d said something wrong. 

Norman almost choked on his food. “Come again?” 

“A girlfriend!”I said spontaneously. She just doesn’t know yet.

“Do we get to meet her?”Dad said raising his fedora up,

“She’s coming over in 2 hours..” I said mumbling with food.

“Is it the one you’ve kept in your collection, or is it another one?” Mom muffled broccoli in her mouth.

“Another one.” 

She let out a sigh, tucking her hair behind her ear. Why were they responding so weirdly? This was finally an opportunity to allow new people into our circle, and let Nora have company. Speaking of Nora, this week I was on cleaning duty. It really isn’t nice leaving your ashes everywhere. 

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ARIA 

T

The cold streets of Rose Street Avenu cried with screams of pain. The dark, homely houses that covered the street instantly sent chills down my spine, but that didn’t fascinate me. I nestled onto my backpack, reassuring myself.

I’m only here for Damien. 

Rough patches of grass covered my shoes with a thick substance. Facing the large wooden door, I knocked, waiting for a response. Instantly, Damien opened the door with just a plain t-shirt and joggers.  I was greeted by an excited Damien, I’d never seen him this happy before. Usually, he’d be stern but outspoken about literally everything.

“You’re happy today aren’t you?” I giggled, 

“Sure, am” His smile formed two faint dimples. 

Led into the hallway, I was instantly greeted with a hardware table with a framed picture of a family. All 6 at the beach posing in front of the camera, smiling through the picture at me as if they were magnets trying to pull me in through joy. 

2011 Majorca: A lovely last trip to be remembered. May the souls of Nora, Norman, Grace and Alfred rest in peace. 

It took me a few seconds of curiosity to realize his family was dead. 

 I can see why he’s so outspoken around me, I’m the only person he can express his highs to because he simply doesn’t have anyone else. He doesn’t have anyone to run up to after school and tell about all the fights and drama, or anyone to call when he feels sick, he’s left desolate. In such a massive house that contains residue of the things that traumatize you. 

His tall shadow looked over me as I stared at the frame, sending a flood of shivers down my spine, his crumbling hands clutching onto his camera. 

“I’m sorry that happened, if you need anyone to speak to, I’m always here.”  I turned to face him.

“No, it’s alright. It all happens in the end.” An uncomfortable stillness ensued in the room so quiet that you heard her faint screams arising. Just the two of us closer together, just a few inches apart. This is the part of the book where you tell me how lucky I am to be standing so close to my crush. Where do you think the next line is where we kiss? I’m sorry but you are wrong.   

I made one major mistake, and that was breathing in.

 I was immediately pulsated by a powerful smell of fire. In a room painted in normality, fresh plants cleaned sofas, the smell daunted my noes. He had his eyes fixated on me the entire time, entertained by the reaction on my face. 

“Ignore the smell, it’s my sister's firepit.”  

“Pardon didn’t you just-.”

The sternness of his usual resting face erupted into laughter.  

“What was so funny?” I looked at him confused. My question seemed to have made him laugh, even more, the dimples of his protruding into his skin, his laughter so powerful that he held onto the door frame. I’ve never seen him this joyed before.  The walls of the house joined in the laughter as if I was the butt of the joke. I felt claws of eyes climb up me in judgement, but these eyes were nowhere to be seen. Faintly spinning around my ears. Joining in, what seemed to be a comedic circus. She and Damien were induced into a laughing cycle.  “She just doesn’t get it, does she,” He said, looking around the room as if they were an audience. Was this some kind of inside joke? I thought we were only here to study. 

It’s all in your head, she said, stroking my back. Her long prickly fingers were up against my shirt. Right? Why would Damien of all people be laughing at me? We are just here to study. I repeated to myself, closing off the amused crowd of frivolity around me. Leaving just her and me together in my headspace. The stitches on her mouth were beginning to unravel, and the depth behind it all stretched into nothing.  

Damien wandered the room as if nothing had happened. I told you so, The timbre of her voice is an exact embodiment of mine. But she isn’t me, I promise. 

“Right, so I say we do Death of a star.” He said smiling, “You know how Mr Checker is.” 

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DAMIEN

She’s so stupid. 

By she, I mean the character in Death of a star, obviously. So clueless to the agony rotating around her devouring her like prey. Playing the faultless innocent character who has everything to lose, it’s funny. Speaking of innocence, Aria and I need to do the photo shoot. The pages were getting boring to look at, I’d already read this book and It was incredibly glum that Aria hadn't noticed we were reading the wrong book, her naive eyes engrained in fear as she turned the pages. Her tight curly hair flew out like leaves from a tree, so captivating. Her tight face fixated on the page, such a liar, I thought. A beautiful one. I might have to edit out the blemishes on the side though. 

The dejected palisade stared at me from the window, the countless imprints of sadness taking up its space. People I called family, singing hymns of sadness. Would be nice to introduce yourself to them first Aria, don’t want to leave a bad impression! Today will close the cycle of the numerous years that were spent tedious and dysfunctional. A surprise that will bring us all together. 

just for you aria. 

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READ UP TO HERE 

ARIA 

Blaring screams arose from each corner of the room, bare of any human existence. My ears felt crumbled by the frequency of pain. Blasted in waves almost around me, sanity was inevitable. turning to see if Damien had heard that as well his curly hair was fixated on the view in front. It’s all your head, Aria. She repeated, braiding the ends of my hair. I want to leave. I could feel the earth below the house crumble at my thoughts. I feel confined in a room that offered a fictitious presentation of space. Death lurked around the grey-plastered walls, oozing nicely into Damiens's nose. I felt the linen planks lodge onto my shoes, glueing me carelessly on the ground.

Painted with obsolete colours and pinned onto a fine background, the 4 people continued to use their eyes to follow me, like surveillance capturing every move all while finding something to laugh at. 

 Across the room stood a happy Damien, the Damien that welcomed me joyfully into his house, the Damien with eyes that wanted to kill. 

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I feel the corners of the house whispering bespoke solutions in my ear. 

 the woman in the middle snarled at me as if she didn’t want me there. That must be his mother. The two men kept all their attention on me. 

His curled face watched from the top of the stairs, analyzing every little facial feature of me. Deep in his eyes reflected a flash, almost like his picture was being taken. Motionless and lodged, I turned to the door that remained what felt miles away. 

A chorus of singing combined with screams emerged from the house behind me. The prickling feeling of Nora melted into my skin as I strayed further and further away from the searing building. 

Ah, one final one. Taking out my camera I raised it to the blaze. 

See you later Damien.  

In another life

HER FAVORITE

“Just because you ignited me into flames doesn’t mean I haven’t left you. It’s not my first time experiencing this. Sleep well Aria and don’t let it burn!” I said, caressing her cheeks. 

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