Chapter 20: Chapter 20

The inherent beauty in a nice summer day is really quite amazing. How the light breeze and the bright blue sky come together to create such a calming and alluring effect. It’s as if the entire world is at peace, and taking you with it.

That peace is exactly what Devin and Elise felt once they returned to the bench swing. The tension from Devin realizing he had forgotten his sweatshirt had all but disappeared. It’s funny really, so quickly it was like he was never even upset about it. As if it was completely wiped from history.

Devin wondered why he even cared so much about that in the first place. Why would he need to wear a sweatshirt? It was only a short walk. And it’s not as if his breasts were really that noticeable under his T-shirt anyway. It’s such an innocuous thing to get worked up on.

“There I go again”, he thought, “making mountains out of molehills”.

***

“So, I take it the spanking scene is never mentioned again?” Elise asked.

“Basically.” Devin answered. “Though to be fair, it is mentioned one other time later on when Stephanie is in the same room with a news reporter. She sees the principal and briefly wants to recreate the scene. And then later on again in the last chapter where she says the experience was some kind of ‘sexual awakening’ for her.”

Elise huffed. “I swear this story never gets boring.”

***

The eighth chapter of “For a Girl” was a lot easier to read than the seventh. It was insane how much one creepy scene could bring an entire chapter down. Well, it wasn’t really that insane, but Devin liked to think it was.

This was also the chapter where the “courthouse drama” subplot began. Essentially, one of the opposing team’s runners takes legal action against Stephanie, prohibiting her from competing in the girl’s mile. Then a significant portion of time in the next three chapters is spent portraying a court case that is supposed to decide if Stephanie should be allowed to compete in the girl’s race.

The main question was if Stephanie had some sort of biological advantage that would make her participation in the race unfair. And already real world parallels with trans athletes could be drawn. Except… not really. The story does seem to try to connect its fictional court case to the real world controversies involving trans athletes, but aside from a few brief mentions of transphobia and the Renee Richards controversy it doesn’t really do much from that angle. The story could’ve simply not mentioned the trans angle at all and nothing would have changed.

It just seemed like a useless endeavor. “For a Girl” is a fictional story about a fake nanobot plague that turns teenage boys into girls. Any relation to trans athletes in the real world is very minimal. Perhaps a stronger connection does exist but it’s something the story doesn’t touch upon.

Devin had heard some people online say that the story appropriates the real struggles of trans athletes without really acknowledging that trans people even exist, and it wasn’t like he could argue with that.

***

“Smooth one, Hal.” Devin said. “Just say that Stephanie’s hotter than the other team’s girl. That’ll really convince them.”

“Come on Devin, be fair.” Elise said back. “It does sound like something a 17 year old boy would say.”

Devin nodded. “It probably does.”

***

Shortly after the admittedly over the top confrontation scene, the following scene had Stephanie sat down on the bleachers crying, thinking her life is over. Since she can’t run at the district track meet, she isn’t going to be able to get any scholarships from colleges, making pursuing a future running career much more difficult. And she hadn’t really considered any backup plan, so to her she’s just going on to college without any real prospects of what she’d want to do in life.

To Devin, it was a really good scene, and he could definitely relate to it. He had lost count of how many times in the past he had gone into a depressive manic episode thinking his life was over because one thing went wrong. Obviously never on the same level as Stephanie in the story, but the general idea was still the same.

The scene didn’t last very long as it’s revealed pretty quickly that Stephanie still has a chance at the national meet, but it was good while it lasted.

***

“Is Jim Martin an actual person?” Elise asked.

“As far as I can tell, no. I looked it up and the closest thing I found was an attorney from Missouri named James Martin who served in 2004.”

“Honestly I’d probably be more shocked if he was an actual person.”

“Yeah, me too.”

***

“So, this is what kind of conflicts me.” Devin said. “You see, this part right here, where Stephanie and Hal kiss, is written almost exactly like a romance novel, primarily for women, but other parts of the story, like well, the spanking scene, feel like they’re written primarily for men.”

“I don’t know, if you ask me, this whole story is written for women.”

“How?”

Elise looked at Devin like he was stupid. “Because it’s WRITTEN. Men don’t really like written pornography. They like visual stuff.”

Devin just stared at Elise. He had never quite thought of it like that before. But at the same time, could he really confidently say that “For a Girl”, or MtF TG stories in general, were aimed at women?

It was true that a lot of TG stories had a romantic subplot. Hell, as far as Devin could recall, nearly every single TG story he had read included one. It seemed to be a staple of the genre, so ingrained into it that it was almost weird to read a TG story that didn’t have one.

But just having romance in a story doesn’t mean it’s aimed at women. Even if a lot of romance novels seem to be geared toward a female audience, just having a romantic subplot is not enough for a story to be considered “aimed at women”. In fact, what did it even mean for a story to be “aimed at women”? Leaning into that logic just seemed to open oneself up to having a lot of sexist or dated beliefs.

Assuming that one would completely buy into the view that some media is primarily aimed at men and some is primarily aimed at women, where would that put MtF TG stories? If just having romance wasn’t enough of a reason for a story to be aimed at women, then what was?

It was a bit tricky to think about. For instance, a big theme present in many MtF TG stories in some form was the gradual erosion of one’s own manhood. There came a point in the story where the TG’d character accepted their status as a woman. Sometimes it’s the main focus of the story, and other times it’s in the background, but either way it’s there. And it’s a theme that the average woman probably wouldn’t be able to really emotionally connect with.

On the other hand though, a story’s primary target audience could mostly have to do with not the themes, but rather the presentation. Looking at “For a Girl”, a large part of the story focused on how Stephanie adapts to the new life that was forced upon her. For as much as the story fails from a feminist perspective, Devin did have to admit it did a good job of portraying life as a woman as being special in its own unique way. Not a realistic job, but a good job nonetheless. Perhaps the average woman would find that idea appealing, but they also might be turned away by just how ridiculous and unrealistic the story is. Then again, it’s not as if Devin had many reactions or statistics he could use to confidently make that statement.

And hell, speaking of presentation, what of the presentation of the romance? If romance itself is not enough for a story to be considered “aimed at women”, then maybe the presentation of the romance could suffice.

Looking again at “For a Girl”, the romance is presented in such a way that does actually kind of resemble how it would be presented in a typical romance novel. A lot of the descriptions of Hal have to do with how he’s not just physically attractive, but also a “great man” who will treat Stephanie “with the love she deserves”, so to speak. He’s kind, charming, and protective. It’s clear that he genuinely cares about Stephanie both as a lover and as a person.

And it’s not just the descriptions of Hal that follow this kind of presentation, but also the descriptions of how Stephanie feels when she’s around him. The amount of emphasis put on how she feels safe and loved with him only confirmed to Devin his suspicions. The romance in “For a Girl” followed the presentation of a regular romance novel.

So, with all that in mind, Devin could concede that yes, most MtF TG stories had more in common with the kinds of stories that would conventionally be geared more toward women than those geared more toward men. And it’s not just the straight stories, but the lesbian ones too. Scribblehub was filled with plenty of explicitly trans lesbian stories, as well as a lot of isekai and harem. And while the way those stories handled presentation was usually not at all similar to a typical romance novel, they still seemed to be geared more toward a female audience, mainly with how they depict and handle lesbian relationships.

Sure, many would disagree with the statement that MtF TG stories were mainly geared toward women. And maybe some of them had a good reason. Perhaps they just thought that trying to figure out a story’s target audience was a waste of time and that everyone of any demographic had a right to read and enjoy the stories. Or maybe the author truly didn’t have any target demographic in mind when writing the story, and projecting one onto them would be pretentious and rude.

On the other hand, there were probably a lot of people who would dismiss MtF TG stories on the whole for being sexist, but those kinds of people tended to be few and far between. And even for the ones that did exist, they were probably just extremely bigoted in some way, and also hypocritical. After all, “50 Shades of Grey” and “Twilight” both had a mostly female audience and Devin would have been lying if he said those stories didn’t have a ton of problematic and sexist elements.

***

“I don’t think they ever called them ‘slumber parties’.” Elise said.

“The term itself is kind of an oxymoron, honestly. A party is something that’s usually lively, and loud. And it’s juxtaposed with a word that means ‘sleep’.” Devin pointed out.

“Also it just sounds dumb.”

“Yeah, that too.”

***

Devin rubbed his face with his hands and groaned. “Eight chapters down and only six more to go. You want to read the next one?”

“Right now?” Elise asked. “No, not really. I think I’m good for the day.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“How many times have you read that story anyway?”

“Oh, I’ve lost count.” Devin answered. “Sometimes I don’t even really read it, I just skim through it for a day. I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about that story that makes me want to keep coming back to it.”

“How often do you come back to it?”

“Varies.” Devin responded. “I guess at least three times per year, with only about one of them being a legitimate, full reading.”

“Sounds like a lot.”

“It is. Nobody should be that addicted to one story, not even if it’s the best story ever written.”

“I hear you on that.” Elise agreed.

Devin nodded then looked around him, noticing how the shadows had moved ever so slightly from when they began sitting there.

“What time is it now?”

“Oh, it’s…” Elise checked her phone. “2:26.”

“Wow, that long?”

“Yeah…” Elise answered. “Crazy, huh?”

“You’re telling me.”

Elise gave a light giggle before speaking again. “You know, Devin, I’ve kind of been wondering, where do you keep your pills?”

“You mean the… hormones?”

“Yeah, those pills.”

Devin stood up from the bench swing. “Well… they’re in my room, hidden away. With some other stuff as well. Can I trust that you won’t tell my parents?”

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“Yes.” Elise replied. “What reason would I have to tell them, anyway?”

Devin smiled. “Okay then, follow me.”

***

Devin opened up his closet, pulling out the secret safe. “Well, here it is.”

“So… that’s where you keep all your stuff? In that?” Elise pointed at the safe. “It’s pretty small.”

“I mean, I don’t really have a lot to hide.” Devin said.

Devin took the safe and placed it on his bed. “This thing cost me like $90, but it was definitely worth it. It’s an electronic safe, so I don’t have to deal with the hassle of turning a dial every time I have to open it. I, uh, trust I can type in the code in front of you, right?”

“I guess…”

Devin typed in the digital code “2664018”, opening the safe and revealing the contents inside. “You know, I like to think of it as a phone number. 266-4018? Maybe it could be in a song just like… well.” Devin shook his head. “Anyway, this is what’s inside. Just the hormones and a few sports bras.”

Elise reached her hand inside and grabbed one of the sports bras. “Is this really it? Only three sports bras? You do wash these, right?”

“Of course.”

“How? Surely you can’t just put them in the washing machine.”

“No.” Devin replied. “I hand wash them. It takes a lot of time, and I have to be very careful about it, but it works.”

“And you’ve never been caught?”

“Not yet, but… I’ve been getting a lot of close calls lately. Your parents tend to notice when you’re wearing a sweatshirt in 90 degree weather. Honestly, right now… I- I think it’s only a matter of time before I mess up and they find out.”

“What will you do then?”

“I’m not sure… hope for the best, I guess.”

Elise turned her attention back to the sports bra. “What’s your cup size?”

“My… cup size?”

“Yeah.”

“Umm, A-Cup? I think?”

Elise squinted her eyes. “So… you don’t know.”

“Well, I- I, umm.” Devin stammered for a bit before looking down, his cheeks reddening. “No, I don’t know.”

“How did you even get these bras then!?”

“I don’t know, I just kind of bought them.”

Elise sighed. “You’re like a child, you know that? Did you even try to learn how to get measurements?”

“I mean, I looked it up, a- and it just looked so complicated and stuff.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “God, Devin you’re so helpless. Look, if you’re going to have boobs, this is stuff you need to know. Do you know your band size?”

“N- No, I don’t.”

“See, helpless. If you wear a bra that doesn’t fit, it can actually damage your skin. You don’t want that, do you?”

“No.”

“Good, so can you please actually spend some time and learn how to get measurements? I promise you will thank me for it.”

Devin looked back up. “Okay, I will.”

Elise smiled. “Thank you.”

***

“So, what are these hormones, anyway?” Elise asked.

“Well.” Devin went over to grab one of the pill bottles. “This is spironolactone, it has to be taken twice a day. It’s the T-Blocker. Also it makes you have to piss every hour or so. It’s really annoying.” He grabbed the other bottle. “And this is estradiol. It has to be taken once a day. And it’s, well, pretty self-explanatory what it does.”

“I heard you need blood work for that kind of stuff.”

Devin groaned. “I would if I could afford it but these hormones cost enough money already. I have to make some cuts here and there.”

“Okay then… can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Well, you know, you said in those stories that it’s a common trope for people to ask the TG’d character what being a girl is like, so… what is it like?”

“What is being a girl like?” Devin asked.

“Yes.” Elise said. “Tell me.”

Devin’s face reddened and he rubbed his forehead. “Well, it’s uh, I mean, you should know what being a girl is like so what could I possibly tell you?”

“Being a girl is all I know, dummy! You’ve been going through so many changes recently. Do you have any thoughts on them? Anything you’d like to share?”

“Well… I mean.” Devin started rocking back and forth. “It’s… it’s like… I mean, I’m not a girl, so I don’t know.”

Elise frowned. “That sucks. I really would have liked to know.”

“I’m sorry.”

***

Elise got out her phone and checked the time. She sighed. “It’s past 3. Honestly I should probably get going.”

“Yeah… you were here for a long time. Thank you though. It was really nice.”

Elise walked up to Devin and hugged him. Devin reciprocated, not even bothered by the fact that his breasts were coming into contact with her.

“Same time tomorrow?”

“How the hell do your parents allow this?”

“One of life’s great mysteries I suppose.”

Devin groaned. “Shift tomorrow. Last one I have for the week.”

“When do your parents even come home anyway?”

“Next monday.”

Elise ended the hug, her eyes wide in shock. “You still have the house to yourself for six days!? That’s like ten total days by yourself, not a week! What is up with your parents!?”

Devin shrugged. “Don’t know, guess they really don’t want me around my grandfather.”

“I guess that makes sense. So thursday?”

“Yeah, unless you have any other plans.”

“Hopefully not.”

Devin patted Elise on the back then walked out of his room and to her car, where they embraced each other with a hug and one last kiss.

“Love you.” Devin said.

“Love you too.” Elise replied. “See you around, Sierra.”

Sierra simply smiled as she watched Elise enter her car and drive away, waving to her the whole time.

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