Chapter 29: Chapter 29

“Did you see that new bridge at the end of town?” Julie asked. “It looks really high class. Doesn’t fit this town very well.”

Ronald looked up from his laptop at the sound of his wife’s voice. “Yeah, it’s, uh, it’s weird.”

The married couple’s conversation was interrupted by Elise coming in through the front door.

“You stayed a bit late.” Ronald said to his daughter. “That makes me kind of upset.”

“Oh shut up Ronald, our daughter is very responsible.” Julie said. “Just ignore him, sweetie.”

“I just want to make sure you’re not getting into any funny business with that guy.”

Elise groaned. “I’m not, Dad. It’s not even dark yet.”

“Just making sure.”

Elise rolled her eyes and left the living room. Overprotective fathers were seriously the worst. Always up in your business and never giving you space. Would they ever learn to leave well enough alone?

There was some silver lining to this, though. If Sierra ended up embracing her female self, she’d have to deal with them too. Elise smiled devilishly at the thought.

***

Elise was sitting on her bed and about to go on her laptop when she looked up and saw Emma standing at her doorstep.

“What do you want?” Elise asked with an exasperated sigh. “Say it quick before I kick you out.”

“There’s something big going on between you and Devin.” Emma said. “I don’t know why Mom and Dad are blind and can’t see it. It’s so obvious.”

“That’s none of your business. Now get out.”

“What’s going on?”

“I said, get out.” Elise repeated more sternly.

Emma smirked as she walked away. “I knew I was right.”

Elise rubbed her face in exhaustion.

Another long day.

She had previously thought that the first week of summer vacation would be an easy going, stress free experience. How wrong she was.

She couldn’t even imagine how stressed Sierra was right now. What was up with her anyway? To be fair, Sierra had always been a little odd, even back when she still went by Devin, but now it seemed like that was all turned up to eleven.

Still, even with all the questions Elise had about her, there was one thing she was sure of. Sierra was happier as a girl, and everyone knew it.

Elise almost laughed. It was only a week ago when she had first met Sierra, and at the time the whole ordeal had greatly confused her. But now here she was, the one who was trying to convince Sierra to let go of being a male and embrace her female self. How did it happen so fast?

Throughout all the twists and turns of their relationship, one thing had remained certain. They both wanted each other to be happy. And by visiting her so often, Elise saw just how much happier Sierra was as a girl. Happier than she had ever been before. And she was resisting it for some reason. Elise wanted her to stop it. To break down all the barriers preventing her from loving herself. They both knew it would be hard, especially considering how the outside world might react, but in the end, it would be for the best.

Elise turned back to her laptop with a wistful feeling. She hoped Sierra was doing okay.

***

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the most predictable one of all?

Devin almost managed a grin at his thoughts.

It was always the same routine with him, every single day. Going in front of the mirror at night and contemplating his entire life. Worst of all was that he hated mirrors. So why did he look into them so often? What was his deal?

He didn’t even care to find the answer.

It seemed like the whole world was pushing him to embrace being a girl. Hell, even Elise practically begged him to give up his male half earlier that day. And even with the fact that Devin found it easier to become Sierra with Elise around, he couldn’t do it.

He knew he was much happier as Sierra, and he still couldn’t do it.

What was stopping him? He’d ask that question before, and he managed to find three answers for it: fear, shame, and self-hate. Mostly fear though. And what was he afraid of? The possible backlash, having to learn entirely new social dynamics, discomfort from entering a different lifestyle, and sometimes, if he was being honest, nothing. An abstract type of fear that he couldn’t quite define. Either way, one thing was clear: he was always his own worst enemy.

Devin looked down at his neck, to the silver necklace he was still wearing. Elise hadn’t mentioned it once after giving it to him, and even he himself kind of forgot about it. Maybe that was just what happened to girls when they wore makeup and jewelry. They eventually forget they’re wearing it until it’s brought to their attention.

Of course, that was just an assumption, Devin would have to-

No.

No, this wasn’t right. What the hell was he doing?

Devin was getting dangerously close to perceiving himself as a girl. And wearing this necklace was encouraging it. He had to take it off immediately.

Devin reached his right hand up and grabbed the heart shaped pendant, entirely intent on taking the silver necklace off.

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He tried. He tried hard.

And then he opened up his hand and calmly examined the pendant in his palm.

He was being a bit over dramatic, wasn’t he? There he was again, immediately stopping himself from embracing being a girl. It was almost like he’d never stop, no matter what.

Violently ripping off the necklace seemed like such a waste. After all, Elise had given it to him for free. It’d be extremely rude to do something like that. Plus, it looked very… pretty. He’d have to keep it. Maybe he could even wear it again sometime.

Devin was silent as he safely put the silver necklace away in one of his drawers.

***

After putting the necklace away, Devin began watching some movies to calm himself down and take a break from his mental contemplations. And while he was able to calm down, his contemplations failed to rest.

This time though, he was mainly thinking about something else.

Did he want to go out to the mall the next day?

His gut reaction was “no”, but it probably wasn’t wise to trust your gut reaction one hundred percent of the time. So what would he say?

It was difficult to sort it all out. Part of him really wanted to go, but another part was too afraid to. Afraid of how others in public would see him, largely. To see him as a… girl.

Strangers he didn’t know, looking at him and seeing a girl.

That didn’t sound too bad, actually.

That cashier they met the last time they went to the mall had gendered him female before Elise corrected him. When that happened, he was able to feel a burst of excitement for a brief moment underneath all the fear and apprehension.

Maybe he could have a good time if he just focused on the excitement, rather than the fear, of people perceiving him as a girl. It wouldn’t be easy, but he was sure he could do it. It was worth a shot, at least. He’d always be afraid if he didn’t try.

But it wasn’t just that he was afraid of, though.

The last time they went to the mall, Devin had panicked and forced both him and Elise home early. And by some miracle, Elise wasn’t upset. He was still thankful she had been so nice about it.

It was worth mentioning that the reason he panicked in the first place was because he was scared of “Sierra” taking over and buying female clothes. Right now though, that didn’t seem nearly as scary of a prospect.

Going out and shopping for female clothes at a mall was such a TG cliché. But it was a good cliché, a cliché for a reason. It was a good and convenient way to have the main character learn more of the ins and outs of being female and have them connect with their female friends and relatives in a deeper way.

Elise nor himself probably had the money to construct an entirely new wardrobe in one day, but they could probably buy a few… bras, maybe some panties, and a few other small clothing items. And considering that Elise had given him the necklace, she’d definitely be more than willing to help him out.

If he really wanted to live those TG stories, then he shouldn’t give up this opportunity to do so.

By the time the movie was over, Devin had figured it out. He would go to the mall tomorrow. It’d be good for him to get out more. He needed the public exposure.

He may not be entirely comfortable with it, but all things considered, it just seemed like the correct decision.

And who knows, maybe it could even be… fun.

***

Just when Devin was about to go to bed, he realized he had forgotten something.

Voice training.

How did he forget about voice training? Did he even actually forget about it, or did he just want to? Whatever the case, voice training had slipped his mind until now.

The previous day, his voice training session had went rough. Panting like a dog for an hour wasn’t exactly an experience he’d like to repeat, but he promised himself he’d give it another try.

“Well, here it goes.” He thought to himself.

***

This time wasn’t much different.

Devin fell onto his bed with an exhausted groan. Would it ever get better? Sure, it’d be stupid to expect results on only the second day, but keeping this up was already looking like a losing battle.

“Patience.” He told himself. “Just try it for a few more days and see where that leads you.”

Devin turned his head as he pulled the covers over him. He never even mentioned the voice training to Elise. Or the fact that his male voice disgusted him so deeply. It was one of the biggest barriers to becoming Sierra completely. The mismatch between his body, soul, and voice.

It also added an extra layer of fear to going out in public. Someone with a more female face and body having such a deep, male voice would throw everyone off. Let them know he was nothing but a freak and a pervert. He was beginning to have second thoughts about going- no, he’d still go. He had to. He couldn’t let himself down.

Devin imagined a woman’s voice. The nice, high sound and the sweet rhythm it created.

He longed for the day when such a voice could escape his lips.

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