Chapter 8: -08– Partners are Often Times a Pain in the Ass.

“You want to go inside the portal together as a party?” I repeated what Niku just suggested to me.

“What do you say, Subaru?”

“I don’t know… Yamasaki-san, what do you think?” I passed the decision to her.

“I don’t feel it. Not like the one in the park.” She answered.

“You mean that feeling of being drawn into it?” I replied.

“Yeah. But since fatty here can handle what’s inside, I guess it’s not a bad deal. We can at least see what comes of it. If it gets too dangerous, we’ll get the hell out.”

We spent a few minutes in a pre-entry discussion, trying to see what synergies or weaknesses our systems might have with each other.

“Master, may I request something?”

“What is it, Juli?”

“While I do not have a system, I believe I can synergize with Tendo-san.”

“Really? Synergize?”

“Tendo-san understands, right? Partner Cards?”

“Uh, should we do something?”

“Master, do you trust Tendo-san with my body in an emergency?”

“I wouldn’t have let him even see you if I didn’t.”

“Then, it may pain you, but Tendo-san needs to grope me in order to sync with his system.”

“He has to?”

Niku frowned.

“He means nothing to me, Master. Only you do.”

“I don’t think I should. I don’t want to do that kind of thing to you, Niku. Juli-san’s your waifu.”

“Do you think I’m not a man who can handle it, Subaru?”

“I couldn’t.” I answered honestly.

“Just do it quickly, okay?”

“...are you sure? This is your Juli-san.”

Niku sighed.

“Can it be over the clothes, Juli-san?” I asked her.

“No.”

I sighed as well.

“Juli, Subaru… just do it. If it’s something that will save Juli if something happens to me, then I just have to bear it.”

Juli appeared before me, and after some adjusting, her clothes were undone enough to have her breasts exposed.

“Grope ‘em, Subaru. I gave you plenty of practice.”

“Yamasaki-san!”

She laughed while Niku and I agonized over this. She might be a slut, but Niku and I are honest gentlemen. This was a serious issue. My hands reluctantly traveled to her breasts, and cupped them as softly as possible.

「Partner Card - Rokuro Juli Added to Tendo Subaru’s Deck」

I removed my hands. “It’s done.”

“Please investigate the data transferred.” Juli-san said, while she redressed herself, with Niku’s help.

“That was it?” Yamasaki-san said, unimpressed.

“Can you stop being an unfeeling monster for one moment, Yamasaki-san?”

She crossed her arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what I said!” I yelled at her.

I brought the Deck system icon in the corner of my vision into focus and elected to see the latest partner card, of which only one was created for Juli-san. through the menu.

「Partner Card - Rokuro Juli」「LV.3」

「Form - Battle Maid Sex Doll」

【Physical Attack】 「Thousand Petals」

『Rokuro Juli attacks with all the skill of an elite battle maid trained in the ways of ninjutsu. Her katana slash is so fast, it can cut one-thousand petals at once.』

【Movement】 「Shunpo」

『Rokuro Juli must be ready to answer her Master’s summons at a moment’s notice. As long as the target is in her line of sight, one step is all she needs to take to appear next to them.』

【Buff】「Clumsy Moe Maid」

『Rokuro Juli, in an effort to suit her Master’s tastes, may occasionally do something clumsy which ignites the fiery passion of Moe into an onlookers’ heart. Though she’s only doing it for her Master, and not anyone else! Increases Mental and Physical Strength, Decreases resistance to Charm.』

【Hidden】「Master’s Favorite」

『There is no one more important to Rokuro Juli than her master, Rokuro Nikuni. As she is dependent on her Master’s life force to continue existing, her endless devotion puts his safety as a priority to her own. Without good reason, she will operate on the premise of willingly sacrificing her body for her Master’s safety. Her trust in your judgment to make sure her Master remains safe will allow you to command her if it will ensure his safety.』

“Tendo-san, you understand that I am 「Master’s Favorite」 don’t you?”

Was this why she wanted to give me her Partner Card? So I could clearly see that she moved only to protect him, and that if I needed to command her to save him, then she’d listen to me at that moment?

“I understand.”

“Good, then it was successful. After all, you might be able to beat my Master at some card games, but you can’t even come close to beating him in my heart.”

A woman’s pride? No, she was saying that to console Niku. I’m sorry Niku, I feel terrible having to touch your waifu like that. I swear that I’ll never treat her poorly, because I know you love her.

“I’ve got a question for you, Niku. Does… Juli-san use a katana to fight with?”

“How did you know?”

“She’s a Battle Maid, isn’t she?” I said, not revealing that it was from the description on the partner card.

“I got one, you know. An actual Tachi made by a master smith from after the Sengoku Era. It was originally my dad's family’s heirloom. I keep it in the back room where I sleep. It was Juli who said she was able to use it, and I mean, who knows what was in the portal, right? So I let her, and she’s badass with it, Subaru. Bad. Ass.”

“What about you? What kind of weapon are you using?”

Niku was about to open his mouth, but Juli-san’s hand covered his mouth.

“Master has me as his weapon, and that is all he needs.”

I swear the air dropped 10 degrees celsius when she said that. I also got the hint instantly never to ask that again.

“Right. Absolutely. You are all he needs, Juli-san.”

“Master, may I have permission to fetch Kurosumaru?”

“Go right ahead, Juli.”

A few moments later, she returned holding a 76.5cm Tachi with an ornate scabbard. She walked over to me and held it out with both hands.

“A copy for your Deck.”

“Eh?”

I reached up and took hold of it from her. Holding on to the pommel, I pulled it out of the scabbard for the moment admiring the quality of a Japanese Blade made by a master smith.

「Nihontou Tachi - Kurosumaru Added to Tendo Subaru’s Deck.」

I put the sword back into the scabbard and handed it back to her.

“How do you know what works with my system, Juli-san?”

“I guess you could call it a feeling or sensation? It’s the same as how my Master feels drawn to the portal he discovered. I can sense how some things are compatible with your system.”

“What about with Yamasaki-san?” I dared to ask.

“I have no compatibility with a 3D woman. However, I can feel the compatibility present between you two, though it is nowhere near what I have with Master.”

I looked at Yamasaki-san who only smiled, made a circle with her finger and thumb, and proceeded to complete the vulgar gesture with the index finger on her other hand. “Maybe if you treat me like your friend treats his sex doll here, our compatibility will improve.”

Juli-san looked at Yamasaki-san and then back at me.

“I do not claim to know a 3D woman’s heart. But relationships are based on trust and respect. Master is someone I have absolute trust and respect for, as he cared for me for many years as if I was a living woman.”

“What about a 3D man’s heart?” Yamasaki-san asked Juli-san.

“A man moves to protect who he loves. It is the source of his greatest strength… and at the same time, his greatest weakness.”

“You sound like a fortune cookie. But I get that.”

“Now then, I do believe preparations are complete. Master, Tendo-san, Yamasaki-san, shall we enter the portal now?”

Niku, Yamasaki-san and Myself all stood up. With Juli-san on point, and taking a deep breath beforehand, I stepped through the portal third, right behind Yamasaki-san.

「Tendo Subaru has Entered - Rokuro Card Shop Dungeon」

「Tendo Subaru has joined the party (4)」

At the top corner of my vision was a… party list?

「Rokuo Nikuni - Party Leader」

「Rokuro Juli - Familiar」

「Yamasaki Shoko - Member」

「Tendo Subaru - Member」

“Familiar?” I asked, seeing the label on Juli.

“I cannot exist without my Master, ergo I am his familiar.”

“You’re my waifu!”

Those two…

I opened my deck system for a moment, and a large box appeared before me.

「Drawing Cards」

“Wait a second, my system is doing something.”

In front of me, and visible to all three of my party members, the translucent cards that had once been my most treasured deck appeared floating in the air.

Five cards were drawn.

“Can you see it?” I asked, not to anyone in particular.

“I can see that there are cards, but not what’s on them. The backs look like the portals though, Kind of like the back art from King of Games, but some have a blue portal, and some have a purple portal back.” Niku explained.

“Same here, I can only see a bunch of transparent cards.” Yamasaki-san added.

“I concur with the others. It seems only you can see the contents of your deck, Tendo-san.”

“Guess so…”

I had pulled two cards that seemed useful right now. Yamasaki Shoko’s partner card form 「Gyaru Bully」 and an 「Equipment Card - Nihontou Tachi - Kurosumaru」

I reached out to touch the first, and Yamasaki-san cursed.

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“What the fuck was that, Subaru?”

“Ah… I don’t know where to begin. J-just ignore it for now.”

She huffed.

I touched the second card and it materialized into a duplicate of the Katana Juli-san had let me see a few moments ago.

「Card Draw Timer: 00:04:56」

“Huh? There’s a timer on when I can draw my next card.” I explained.

“Subaru, how many cards do you have?” Niku asked me.

“Nine, I think.”

“What happens when you use one?”

“I don’t know. The first card doesn’t seem to have any kind of indicator that it’s been used, and the equipment card appears to be grayed out, so maybe it’s only usable once until it breaks or something, then maybe it goes to my card graveyard or back in my deck to be drawn again? I’m still learning. But I don’t know how to use a Katana.”

“Excuse me, Tendo-san. I was hoping you would let me borrow that when it became available.”

“You want to use two katanas, Juli-san?”

“I am capable of using nitoryu.”

“Juli is amazing!” Niku blurted out like he was a fan at an idol concert.

Juli-san, after fastening the second katana to her maid uniform, walked over to Yamasaki-san and held her wrist for a moment.

“You have touki. I see, you use body reinforcement to fight.”

“That’s what Subaru said. Body Reinforcement is my only skill right now.”

“Then you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about your nails, they are reinforced as well.”

Juli-san let go of Yamasaki-san’s hands. Yamasaki however continued to look at the back of her hands, specifically at her acrylic nails.

“Subaru, what do you think?”

“I think she’s right. Would you believe me that one of my cards features you, if you were like a Pokéyou?”

“You have a Shokomon card?”

I nodded.

“How am I?”

“Well, the card I have has a whole bunch of attack moves, like scratch, slap, and stomp.”

“So, what, I’m supposed to go around slapping monsters?”

“...”

“Subaru?”

“Is it any different from when you do it in school?”

Her eyes narrowed.

“Don’t worry about getting hurt, Yamasaki-san. If it looks dangerous, I’ll use an Item Card to heal and buff you. Remember the two meals I cooked? They’ll boost your stats. We’re at the entrance, and we’re awakened, all of us. We’ll be able to do a much better job of dealing with whatever is in here, than the JSDF.”

“Subaru.”

“Yes?”

“I’m not a pokéyou.”

“I never said you were.”

We were able to move forward after that exchange. Our formation looked like the fourth side of a traditional six-sided die, and we walked for a few minutes before we reached our first encounter.

“What is that? They’re so cute!” Yamasaki-san squealed.

It was an equally numbered party to ours of creatures that looked like a cross between a squirrel and an armadillo.

“I call them roley-poleys! The outer shell is hard to deal with, but if you hit them underneath, they die pretty quick.” Niku explained.

Juli-san had dashed forward and with both katanas drawn, began slicing them to pieces in an instant.

A small wave of light flowed through the air towards each of us. It surrounded our bodies for a moment before disappearing.

“Subaru,” Yamasaki tapped me on the shoulder, pointing at the air in front of her, “I have it now.”

“The Experience value?”

“Yeah. I have eight experience points.”

“Anything like a 「Next Level」 value near it?”

She shook her head.

“Maybe it’ll appear if you accrue enough experience and level up?”

We both shrugged.

“Hey, sex doll. How hard are those things to kill?”

Juli-san turned around to answer. “They’re not all that dangerous. I believe you could defeat one with ease.”

“Then, next time they show up, can you leave one for me to kill?”

“Understood. Master, Tendo-san, please loot them.”

“Loot?” I inquired.

“You should have the capability, Tendo-san.” Juli-san said confidently.

Niku went over to one of the corpses and put his hand on it. A bunch of light came out of it and condensed into a white round bead.

“What is that?” I asked him.

“Loot. I don’t know what it is or what it’s worth, but Juli and I have a bag full back in the shop. Maybe they will be worth something soon? It’s otherworldly material!”

I nodded.

I tried mimicking what Niku did a moment ago to a different corpse and a similar thing occurred. I was holding onto a round bead, white in color, the same as his, only at that moment a pop-up appeared before my eyes, and over the corpses of all four defeated monsters there was a spinning translucent card.

「Monster Soul Fragment - Roley Poley」

「Do you wish to absorb?」

「Yes」「No」

I went ahead and absorbed one of them.

「Monster Soul Fragment Card - Roley Poley」

「1% Acquired」

“Uh.”

“What’s up Subaru?” Niku was moving on to the next corpse.

“I can absorb these guys.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I got something called a Monster Soul Fragment. Also, I think you named the monster, because it’s called a Roley Poley.”

“No shit! I’m famous!” Niku laughed.

I looted the second corpse left to me, and got another bead and Monster Soul Fragment. I could see two spinning cards left, hovering over the two bodies that Niku had already looted. I tried looting after him, but received no bead. I was able to loot the Monster Soul Fragments, however.

“Okay, I can’t double loot after you, Niku. But I was able to absorb Monster Soul Fragments from each of the four monsters.”

“Awesome, man! Maybe you can summon them in battle like a pokéyou?”

I didn’t have the answer, but my system might.

「Monster Soul Fragments」

『At times, a Monster Soul Fragment may be left behind when a monster is defeated. Collecting enough fragments will allow you to use a fixed skills or ability from that monster, but they do not replace a Partner.』

“Nope. They just let me use a skill, I can’t summon them like a pokeýou.”

“Guess that means you’re stuck with me, Subaru.” Laughing at my misfortune, was, of course, Yamasaki-san.

We continued on towards the next encounter. The other side of the portal was something like a large cavern. There was an ambient light coming from the ground, which faded most of the way up towards the ceiling. It was rocky, and a dull brown in color. There was moss on the walls in various places, and as much as it shouldn’t really be possible, it wasn’t difficult to see about thirty meters in front of us, unobstructed.

This time it was three more of those Roley Poley creatures. In no time at all, Juli had defeated two of them. She left the last one to Yamasaki-san who was glaring at me.

“Give me the strength buff thing.”

I had drawn that card, though I had entirely forgotten to draw any other cards while we were exploring. A beginner’s mistake no doubt. So I used the Item Card containing the breakfast I made earlier, and Yamasaki-san burps.

“What the hell was that!?” She complained.

“I used the buff.” I stated.

“Not that, I told you to use the buff. For a second there, it felt like I ate breakfast again. I can taste the beef tempura.”

“Well, that was the buff.”

“So what, I gotta taste the food when you use the buff?”

I shrugged like an idiot. It was the first time I used the buff.

「Card Draw Timer: 00:00:00」

「Card Drawn - 1」

「Card Draw Timer: 00:04:59」

“Subaru, have any you’re willing to use on me?” Niku asked, but Juli-san quickly intercepted before I could suggest which of the two remaining item cards I had left. “Master. Don’t go eating strange things. I will cook you some healthy food when we return.”

Ah, Niku was trapped already with the heavy love from his waifu.

God bless and godspeed, Niku. May your life be blessed from now on until forever.

Satisfied the buff was present on her screen, Yamasaki, dressed in a white T-shirt and skirt, along with her black shoes, walked towards the last creature and took some kind of combat pose with her legs spread apart and her body turned to the side with her fists out, like she was going to fight, or possibly kick a penalty shot.

It’s Yamasaki-san, to be honest, I think that’s her slap pose. I’ve been slapped on the back of my head by her countless times. It’s instinctual that I know this.

Since we hadn’t yet had a chance to see how the creature attacks, we did now. It began running forward then jumped up and tucked its body into a ball tightly. Yamasaki, with the not-exactly-high-speed armored squirrel ball approaching her face, immediately opened her palm and slapped it down.

It felt like a thunderclap went off right in front of us.

Niku and I both kind of squatted down and held our heads, nervously.

When we looked at the aftermath.

It was something that would be censored even in the 18+ section of a manga shop.

“Huh, why can’t I loot it?”

Yamasaki-san was squatting over it waving her hands around like a moron. I rose to my feet, and walked over to the monster. Putting my hands over it, the light formed into another bead. I also got another percentage towards the Monster Soul Fragment collection.

“Subaru, why couldn’t I loot it?”

“I have no idea, but I guess if you want loot, you’re stuck with me.”

I have never regretted saying such cursed words in my entire life.

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