Today was still March 3rd, I was laying in bed staring up at the ceiling with the slightest little smile on my lips. It was getting pretty late in the night so I figured it would be getting close to time to go to sleep. But first I had some messages to send.
First I sent a group text to my sister and her friend Isabella. If I’m going to prove to myself that I’m a guy then I need to jump deep into femininity.
Hey, so… I’m sure Brittany has already told Isabella about the experiment but, I wanted to let you both know that I’m going to try and do… girly things? I figured you both would want to help. Oh and my name for now is Robyn.
I closed out of my texting app with my heart thumping hard, but I still wasn’t done with messaging people. I opened up the group chat I had with my guy friends as well and changed my nickname… like I said, jump into the abyss of femininity.
Robyn
Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that from now on I’m going to be going by Robyn for this experiment, people are always asking what my girl name is so I figured I might as well placate them lol, so you all can call me Robyn as well
I almost closed the app before realizing I should probably clarify another thing.
Robyn
Oh! And I suppose I should also use she/her pronouns? Thnx!
Now I was confident that it was ok to toss my phone to the side and pull the covers over myself in bed. Still staring up at the ceiling you’d think I was deep in thought when in reality just a few short words kept playing in my head on loop. Robyn Davis.
I awoke the next morning, or rather afternoon, to a handful of messages waiting for me on my phone. I checked the guy’s group chat first and saw three thumbs up emojis, one from each of the guys except for Mark. I hope he doesn’t cause me any issues. As for text messages? I opened them to a swarm of texts.
“Ohmigosh, that’s awesome! I can’t wait! We’re going to plan out the best day ever for you sis!” Brittany was the first one to respond
“We should probably take it a little easy, she’s got till January so there’s no need to throw everything at her at once” Isabella was a bit more tempered
“Well then, let’s go shopping! Robyn needs some cute girl clothes asap, all of her boy clothes are falling off of her”
“That sounds like a good place to start, what do you think? Next week? The tenth seems like it would be a great day to go”
“The 10th it is! See you then Robyn!” Brittany’s text was the last one sent, suppose I didn’t really get a say in when we were going to go. Not that I ever had anything going on anyways though.
Part of me wanted to use the next week to gather the courage to tell my parents about the name thing. But ultimately I became much more focused on trying to steel myself for this shopping trip.
I kept psyching myself up to the point where before I knew it, it was March 10th. I had to get fully dressed again, using my ruined belt from when the boys came over I was able to hold up a pair of jeans fairly effectively. My hoodie was still absurdly massive on me, though I suppose that wasn’t that weird for a girl?
It was barely 11 am when I heard more frantic pounding on my door, right as I was looping my belt together. I was prepared for Brittany to completely swarm me with hugs yet again but I was honestly a little worried about Isabella. I had always had a crush on her, ever since I was a little kid, she’s two years older than Brittany and I and always had this intense confidence about herself even at a young age.
Bracing myself I decided to swing the door open and close my eyes, sure enough my sister wrapped her arms around me like a python ensnaring it’s prey.
“Aaaahhh! I’m so excited!” her giddiness clashed significantly with my dying breaths
“Alright alright, let her down thunder arms” Isabella giggled lightly
Once my health had been restored to my lungs I was finally able to see again, looking behind my sister to see Isabella standing there.
She was the same height as me back when I still had my male body, so she stood at 6’5” in height, a true skyscraper of a woman. She had always had a… I don’t even know what to call it, an alternative aesthetic? Torn jeans, dark purple lipstick, that sorta look? Which was a look that she had certainly embraced even more since I last saw her.
Her black hair was fairly long, reaching just a bit past her shoulders save for the left side of her head which was buzzed, the tips of her hair were dyed a dark purple to match the rest of her look.
The look she gave me made my heart skip a beat and before I knew it she pulled me into a hug as well. She was somewhat thin built though she did have a fair bit of muscle, certainly a lot more than I ever did. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she had a slight six pack underneath her black t-shirt.
“Heh, you’ve gotten a lot smaller than you were last time I saw you” I’m sure some people would take one look at her and think she was rude, which she certainly could be if you pissed her off, but in general she was a total sweetheart, “you look amazing”
“I told her last time I saw her that we could be identical twins” Brittany giggled
“Hhmm… I kind of see it… but there’s a big difference between the two of you” both Brittany and I looked at her in confusion, “Robyn here is cherry red”
Brittany smirked while I started quietly mumbling incoherently
“You know… come to think of it, you have always been a bit of a bottom, haven’t you Robyn?” she released me from the hug and looked at me with a cocky grin
I jumped back from her so fast that I nearly fell over in the process, “Wh-what does that even mean?”
“Alright girls, come on let’s get going to the mall! I wanna have sis try on any and every cute outfit I see!” like the twister she always was, Brittany walked right out of the apartment without even seeing if we were following
“You heard the lady, let’s get going” Isabella smiled and took my hand which immediately made me weak in the knees, I’d never held a girl’s hand before!
We all piled into my sister’s sedan, I rode shotgun and Isabella sat in the back behind my sister. The mall wasn’t too far away from my apartment complex but even the short drive made me feel like my heart was going to explode from anticipation.
“So, what kind of outfits are you thinking about getting?” Brittany asked before we had even left the parking lot
“Uh… what do you mean?”
“Your style, you know, what’s your aesthetic? Do you want to go for more girly type stuff? Maybe more androgynous stuff?” she had always had a good handle on fashion, where as I had never thought twice about just throwing on whatever the first two pieces of clothes I could find
“Uhh… I'm not really sure?”
“I guess we could just get a whole big mix for you to try on, see what you like” Isabella added from the back seat, “especially since you’ve never worn girl’s clothes before, so you never know what you might end up liking”
“A-are we sure it’s… ok for me to be w-wearing that kind of stuff?” in my nervousness I kept fiddling and playing with my blonde hair
“Wearing what? Girl’s clothes?” the both of them giggled, “well yeah! You’re a girl after all” Brittany playfully nudged my shoulder
“I-I guess… I just don’t want to uh… be too noticeable”
“Well you don’t gotta worry that one when I’m here” Isabella giggled, “pretty sure I’ll be the one that sticks out in our group”
The two of them kept talking to each other and sometimes to me, but I wasn’t really listening anymore. I was deep in thought running through the various types of girl clothing that I knew. I didn’t really get fashion but I at the very least knew what some types of clothes were called.
I was so enraptured in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice we had arrived until the car turned off.
“You alright? You kinda spaced out there” Brittany asked while grabbing her purse and getting out of the car
“Uh y-yeah! Just thinking is all” I quickly got out after them and followed distinctly behind them both, practically using Isabella as a shield
My stomach had been feeling uneasy for awhile now, I felt like at any moment someone would run up to me and start screaming at me that I’m not a woman. It didn’t happen obviously, but the paranoia of it kept me on edge as we walked into the clothing store
“Alright, Robyn, you wait by the changing rooms” Brittany smiled, “Isabella you cover the left aisles, I’ll cover the right and we’ll meet back at the changing room so Robyn can start trying it all on!”
“You’re really into this” I let out a sigh of relief, “at least that makes it easier for me”
Brittany practically ran off right away, “she’s excited, she hasn’t stopped talking about today for the last week” Isabella smiled, “you definitely made her year when you asked her to do this”
“Heh… yeah, that’s the only reason why I decided to do this trip to begin with” I don’t really know how believable that was, afterall I was having them both call me Robyn
“Sure sure, I’ll see you in a bit then, Robyn” Isabella didn’t really sound like she believed my cover story, then she walked off more casually towards the aisles that she was supposed to search.
I slowly wandered towards the changing room, not really paying much mind to anything else as I walked. I was in such a daze that I didn’t even realize that I bumped straight into someone!
He fell backwards like he had just been slammed by a quarterback, while I barely budged from the encounter.
“Oh gosh! Sorry! I should have been paying more attention” I reached a hand to help him when I realized who it was
“Dil- I mean, Robyn? What are you doing here?” it was L! He was the guy I knocked over
I could feel my entire face get clammy, what would my excuse be? Did I need an excuse? Is it weird if I’m here getting clothes for myself? Should I just run back to the car?
“Picking up some clothes?” he asked casually, standing up on his own while I was still stuck processing with my hand outstretched towards his knee
“Uh… well… y-yeah I guess” I couldn’t look him in the eye, I wasn’t ready for this right now!
“That’s cool, I’m glad you’re deciding to give it a shot” the genuine nature of his voice and smile at least put me a bit more at ease
“So uh… wh-what are you doing here?”
“Well I’m…” he seemed to be the one spacing out now, even if only for a second, “...here with my cousin, she’s in town and wanted to go shopping”
That was when I finally realized that he was holding a few items of women’s clothing
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“I thought you didn’t get along with your family?”
“Everyone but her, she’s cool, trust me” noticing that I noticed the clothes, “though she does like to use me as a shopping cart”
The two of us shared an awkward laugh, “so what are you looking for? In terms of clothes I mean”
“I have no clue, my sister and her friend are here helping me, they’re grabbing a whole bunch of stuff”
“Ah! Well good luck with that” it was like a switch flipped the moment I mentioned other people, he took a few steps away from me, “I should really get going though, see you later Robyn!”
He sure sped off quick, then again meeting new people always made him nervous, guess we’re pretty similar in that regard.
I stood by the waiting rooms for probably another twenty minutes before the two of them finally returned to me. Isabella had a decently high stack of clothes in a cart for me to try on, Brittany on the other hand? She basically brought the entire store.
“I thought we agreed to go light” Isabella eyed the mountain of clothes with a mixed look of surprise and some level of awe
“I did go light” she smiled in response, “Now, Robyn, once you get into the changing room just make two piles, one for keeps and one for dumps”
“...this is going to take awhile” I eyed the mountain of clothes with a look of pure fear
“Don’t worry, take all the time you need!”
I grimaced slightly but took both carts and went into the changing room.
It was honestly impressive that the changing room could hold two shopping carts at once! But that does certainly make it easier, I can use one cart for the ‘dumps’ and one cart for the ‘keeps’. First things first though, I needed to slip out of my boy clothes.
The full body mirror in the changing room certainly helped when it came to dressing, but god did it make it difficult when it came to undressing. Every time I saw my body in the mirror I had to look away, I would get too flustered… my heart would skip a beat every time. Of course, a lot of the outfits made me feel that way as well.
I got through probably ten outfits or so before I realized that I was putting everything in the dump cart… truth be told I didn’t really know what looked good on me, I didn’t pay attention to this kinda thing and if I thought I looked pretty in something I instinctively threw it into the dump cart. If I kept going like this I was going to tear through the entire mountain without finding a single outfit for me to keep!
So I put on my boy’s clothes again and leaned my head out of the changing room door.
“Uh… help?” I called out to the both of them, who were sat on a nearby bench looking at their phones
“What’s wrong?” Isabella asked
“I… don’t know what looks good on me…”
“Just go for whatever you think makes you look cute” Brittany cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy
“That’s part of the problem, I freak out when I think it looks cute” I looked away from them, so very embarrassed that I just said that out loud
“Huh… well… how about each time you put on an outfit you step out of the changing room and let us see” Isabella suggested, looking at Brittany for approval rather than me
“Great idea! We’ll get you all sorted through in no time sis!” Part of me wanted to argue against this, it was too embarrassing, but it was a good plan…
I nodded without saying a word and closed the door again, slipping out of my boy clothes faster than before and taking hold of the next outfit in the lineup. I’m pretty sure this was Brittany’s, it consisted of a high waisted black pleated skirt and a white simple blouse.
Until this point I hadn’t worn a skirt before, all of the other outfits that I tried on had pants. I slipped the skirt way up high on my torso, it felt admittedly kind of weird being that high up and I couldn’t help but feel kinda naked with so much freedom between my legs.
Once the blouse was on I gave myself a look over, idly swishing my hips and making the skirt spin with my movements. It was sort of mesmerizing in a weird way. I took another moment to gather my courage before stepping out from the safety of the changing room.
Isabella nudged Brittany so she’d look up from her phone, “oh wow sis! You look great in that” she smiled happily
“Yeah, I think that fits you pretty well, it’s super cute on you” Isabella nodded in agreement
“Th-th-tht-ht-thaa-thaank…” I couldn’t really get a word out, I felt like my head was going to explode, I had never been visible in girl clothes before!
“How do you feel about it though, Robyn?” Isabella asked, somewhat snapping me out of my stuttering
“Uh it’s… i-i-it’s… kind of ni-nice…” my hands were practically glued to the hem of the skirt thanks to my irrational fear that it could just fly upwards and expose my panties to the whole store
“Then how about you put it in the keep cart, sound good?” Brittany spoke a lot calmer after seeing just how nervous I was, I didn’t give her a response other than a nod and retreated back to the safe zone.
This cycle repeated a few times, next was an outfit with a pink top and regular jeans which I kept. After that was a pair of black leggings and a matching jacket with a white undershirt, which I also kept due to Isabella being a huge fan of how I looked in it. After that there was a more androgynous outfit that I didn’t even walk out in, I just decided to ditch it on my own.
Slowly but surely I got through a whole bunch of outfits one by one. Until I was left with just a single one left. Even though I had been trying on women’s clothing for an hour this last outfit certainly gave me a lot of pause… It was a pink sundress, it had no sleeves and a fairly long skirt, I had to admit it was… really cute. But I was terrified to try it on.
I must have eyed that dress for three minutes without making a move, I hadn’t tried to wear a dress since I was a kid… but now one was being offered to me? It was almost too much to bear and I could already feel my eyes welling up with tears.
I knew I had to try it on before I became a sobbing mess, I don’t know why it made me feel this way, it was hard to describe. Sadness? Happiness? Relief? Excitement? A mixture of them all? It was such a whirlwind of emotions, I was so weirdly happy to be able to put on a dress without being judged, I was sad because I kept thinking back on my childhood, I was relieved that I was finally at the end of the outfits, and I was excited because I wanted to see how I looked in it…
Between my shaky hands and happy-sad tears it was a little hard to get on, but eventually I managed to do so. I gave myself a long hard look over in the mirror, I felt just like I had the night I tried on the bra for the first time… I felt pretty… I felt… beautiful.
It looked perfect on me, I just knew it, and in some weird way I felt like I had finally accomplished what I set out to do all those years ago. I stared at the girl in the mirror and she looked back at me with wet reddened cheeks.
I didn’t need to get their opinions on the dress, I already knew exactly where it belonged. I put the dress on the very top of the keep cart, finally satisfied in my haul I put back on my boy clothes. Truth be told, after going from girl outfit to girl outfit my guy clothes definitely felt out of place, not to mention a lot more uncomfortable than they felt before we started.
In total I had probably kept about 70% of the outfits, at the very least I wouldn’t need any new attire for the next year. I walked out of the changing room with both carts, kind of awkwardly maneuvering them together.
“This one is keeps” I gently pushed that cart towards the pair and pushed the dumps cart off to the area where clothes were supposed to go when you didn’t decide to buy them after trying them on
“Wow, you kept a lot more than I expected!” Brittany grinned at me, “I see that look on your face, you had fun!”
“Wh-what? I did not…” crossing my arms I felt like I wanted to hide out of embarrassment, was it that obvious that I had fun?
“There’s no use denying it girl, we can see that smile on your face” Isabella booped my nose
“I-I’m only smiling because I did a good deed today!” was the best that I could come up with, something about Isabella’s teasing made me feel so… combative? But like in a fun way rather than a hostile way
“Mhm” she smirked at me, “you look cute when you pout by the way”
I opened my mouth to deny it, but opted instead to turn away from her, I felt like I could barely look at her without feeling weak in the knees. Though at least unlike with Kevin I already knew I was attracted to her beforehand.
Suddenly Brittany dumped a bunch of shoes into the cart and saw my confusion, “what? You need more shoes if you’re going to dress all cute in all these outfits!”
“I-I guess.. But isn’t this kind of expensive? I-I mean I’m turning back into a guy in January…”
“Didn’t Brittany tell you?” Isabella raised an eyebrow at me
“We are all going thirds on this! Consider it our gift to you for your birthday” Brittany smiled and hugged me tight
“Uh… our birthday isn’t until September…”
“No silly, not our birthday, YOUR birthday” she released me from her grip
“...I’m confused”
“Robyn’s birthday, more or less” Isabella added, giving me a side hug, “seeing as you’re a new girl”
“I don’t think you understand how birthdays work…”
“Well if you’d rather we don’t get you a gift then I’m suuure we could-” she started with a knowing grin
“Fine… point proven, I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth” I interrupted her with a sigh of relief as the three of us walked to the checkout.
Once that was all said and done we left the mall, accomplishing my first outing as a woman! And we drove back towards my apartment.
“By the way, have you told mom and dad about your name yet?” Brittany asked while driving
“Uh… no… not really” I awkwardly giggled, “I should probably tell them soon”
“Well I’ll be visiting their place at the end of the month, maybe you should come over that day too!” she offered
“Yeah… that sounds like a good idea”
“Worst comes to worst you let your sis do all the talking” Isabella playfully jabbed me, “I’m sure it’ll be fine though, afterall they didn’t take the experiment poorly at all according to your sis”
“Yeah they took it pretty good” even so I was still relieved that I’d have some support there while telling them, I don’t know why I was nervous though, this is nowhere near as big of a deal as the experiment in general.
Before I knew it we had gotten to my apartment, I said my goodbyes to both of them and carried my haul for the day up to my apartment. It became my life goal for the next five days to sort through it all and get it all organized correctly. Normally I didn’t really care if my clothes got all creased and wrinkled, but it felt different now, I felt different now. I’m not sure if I just didn’t want to ruin all of these clothes that were brand new or if I felt more… attached to these outfits.
On the 15th however I awoke to quite an unexpected surprise. I walked into the bathroom and took a look at myself. I knew that something was… off… but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it.
It took a few minutes, then it hit me like a truck, more changes had occured! My bra was a fair bit tighter, though not enough to be uncomfortable yet. My chest size had grown a bit, my hips even wider than before, and my hair had grown nearly three inches longer. Now I could very safely say that my figure was identical to my sister’s!
The changes weren’t massive, and outside of my clothes being just a bit more snug and accentuating my more impressive curves, I looked largely the same. I had no idea why more changes had come now, so much further into the experiment than before and yet… I didn’t feel upset by this, if anything I felt happy for the changes.
I felt happy that more changes had occurred… for some reason… it had to be because if I got through all this time while being a curvy girl and still believed I was a guy than even Dr. Samantha would have to believe me! Yeah… that’s the reason why I was happy… right?
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