Chapter 132: Ch.31 What I’d Do For Her (1/4)

 

Her slender back rushed off into the distance. Like a stone, or in this case, a statue of pure ice, I stood there watching her disappear in the afternoon streets. The words I spoke came from the bottom of my heart and coldly struck Okabe-san. They assaulted her, leading to what happened next.  Instead of fighting back, attacking me with her own words, she rushed off in pain. As if my remarks were whips that seared her body, shamefully the rough, mean, callous, and cruel Okabe Kasumi-san… ran away.

With all the push and shove she went through to have me open up to her, I didn’t expect that would be the way she’d end her fight. It's not like I wouldn't have liked to trust her, tell her everything she needed to know to help out sensei, but the fact of the matter was…

 

“Okabe-san…”

I couldn’t trust her…

Nobody can…

 

 

And we weren’t anything remotely close to being friends. With all the terrible things she did to Sophia-san. All the carelessness she showed with Mae-chan’s feelings. How she willfully went to me and exposed secrets that my best friend wasn't ready to share, only to get a response from me. The way she violated the feelings of others with her tasteless words…

Me laying down my feelings was the least of what I could do to someone like her…

So why?

Why after all of that?

“…Do I feel so terrible?”

I held my scarf, but it was ice cold. As if the words that came from my mouth were icicles that froze the fabric as I spewed them out. My fingers were freezing now as I continued walking alone. She was already too far gone before I began my journey to the train station. With her constant badgering for information gone, I could clearly focus on what I need to do.

“Yeah…it’s for the best.”

I convinced myself as the wind picked up, pushing my scarf to the side. It slammed against the wire fence as I squinted my eyes, braving the elements.

“Yeah…it was for the best.”

She needed to stay as far away from this as humanly possible. Okabe-san was like a ticking time bomb for this situation as delicate as this one. If I let anything slip to her, the next thing I know, the wrong person would know…

This wasn’t just for my sake…it’s far larger than just me. Everyone who is putting in the effort to help Sophia-san and Taylor-sensei out would be exposed if someone as careless as Okabe-san knew about what we were doing.

“I shouldn’t feel like this.”

I murmured as my feet clanked on the sidewalk. The stretch of pavement felt longer as the harsh wind brushed past me. When I finally reached the meeting point, Hana-chan stood there like a soldier awaiting orders from her commander. Our eyes met, and I instantly warmed up. As if she was a portable heater, I rushed over to her as my heart went from ice cold to lukewarm.

“Onee-san, you’re a little late. Is everything alright?”

I rubbed my scarf and buried my chin under it.

“Hm…I had a chat with Okabe-san. You know, the girl you met before your camping trip? The one with the ivy hair at the shopping mall?”

Hana-chan gripped her bag and put it in front of her. She twirled a bit on her left leg before standing upright again.

“Oh her…the rude one, right? She’s the one that took Sora-chan and Mae-san’s food during the Cultural Day Festival, right?”

I recalled that time where they both were playing Russian Roulette with their food. Okabe-san came in and took the last one from them. She ruined their game, and Sora-san was visibly upset with her for doing it. That was…indecent of her.

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

But then I recalled something else about that day also. It was Nagumi-chan. She ran up to me…and looked at my food.

“Nagumi-chan, do you want my onigiri?”

I handed Nagumi-chan some food that day. She ate it in a seeming hurry too…like that was the only food she had that day.

“Yeah, I remember that day, Hana-chan.”

 

But that’s not what I was focusing on anymore.

Okabe-san faded into the background, and the actions of her mini version were the focal point now. Nagumi-chan ate my food…she was hungry…

Despite us being in a restaurant that day…Nagumi-chan was hungry.

Even though Okabe-san was clearly working during that time…Nagumi-chan was hungry.

 

 

“Something more is…going on.”

Now the guilt was overshadowing everything. I took a deep sigh, causing Hana-chan to latch on.

“What’s wrong, Onee-chan? Did something happen between you two? Did she say something to you?”

“…Yeah, you see Hana-chan.”

 

 

I wanted to be open and be candid with her too. Just like how I confessed what happened between Mari-san and me…and what’s going on between our school nurse and Sophia-san. I had nothing to fear when confessing things to Hana-chan now. She was an ally.

“I kind of yelled at Okabe-san before I met up with you.”

“You Onee-chan? You yelled at her?”

The way she sounded was as if I was lying. It threw me off a bit as I pressed her now.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She crossed her arms and shook her head. With a sly smile of her own that reminded me eerily of Koda Mari-san, she spoke up.

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“Onee-chan, you never yell at anyone. The most you do is scold in a very calm but mean way. I’ve been on the other end of your scolding, so I should know.”

"Ahh, whatever. What I mean by that, Hana-chan is…I told her that…I didn't like her. I was clear and… I hurt her for sure."

She shrugged.

“From how it sounds to me, Okabe-san is a jerk. She was rude enough to bring up that stuff about Mae-san while we were eating, remember?”

I thought about that time again. She brought up Mae-chan getting into a fight so candidly. She even laughed about it like it was just a fun story. Even though that fun story to her was something Mae-chan equates to ruining her life. No matter how guilty I feel, things keep popping up that remind me that I did the right thing.

“I say, Onee-chan, you’re not the one who should say sorry. It sounds to me that this girl is the one who should be apologizing to you. Heck, everyone.”

“Yeah…”

Was that true? From what I’ve gathered so far, when it comes to Okabe-san, she’s a girl one year younger than me and is trying to take care of her little sister. I’m not sure about the entire story behind it, but she’s certainly stressed about it. Saitou-san mentioned that she’s more like a mother than a sister to Nagumi-chan. But does that justify all the things that she’s done to others in the time that I’ve known her?

Of course, not…

“Hey, keep your head up, Onee-chan!”

Hana-chan, my little flower, nudged my shoulder, causing me to perk up. She rubbed her shoulder on mine and gave me a warm smile. The icy wind faded away as she brushed up against me.

“Huh?”

“Listen, you have a lot to worry about right now. The last thing you should do is put more energy into someone like her.”

I looked down at my little flower. She was…supporting me, wasn’t she?

“Hana-chan.”

“Onee-chan, you’re putting a lot of weight on your shoulders. From what you told me, a lot is going on right now…even larger than just us."

She pushed her head forward, catching me on the nose.

“You are such a kind and caring person! You’re someone I strive to be like when I grow up! But you can’t be friends with everyone! I believe you did the right thing if you finally put her in her place!”

The flower beamed as she tilted her head. Hana-chan was like this; she could stand tall, have the expression of iron like a lion. But when she cares, when she shows me her soft side, the world fades away, and I focus only on her caring violet eyes. They never fail to make me feel…safe.

“Hana-chan…”

Her nose nearly touched mine…likely because she was on her tippy toes right now to reach mine. We gazed into each other’s eyes as she continued.

“From how it sounds to me…it’s Okabe-san who needed this reality check. If it hurt her that bad, then maybe it was all true!”

She touched my cheek with her warm hands.

“I won’t allow anyone like that to make you feel terrible, though, Onee-chan. I support you all the way. So, it’s okay to feel a little bad, but right now, your main focus shouldn’t be on her, stay the course and think about Sophia-san!”

“…You’re right Hana-chan.”

If Okabe-san wants to come to me and prove me wrong, then I’ll leave that to her, but right now…I can’t focus on that. Right now, there was more at stake than just her feelings.

It took Hana-chan, my loving little sister, to snap me out of my doubt. Of course, I’m going to feel guilty over it, but now wasn’t the time for that. When I run into her, I’ll deal with the outcome of these events between us, but right now I needed to do what I could to help Taylor-sensei and Sophia-san. There wasn’t time for someone who has clearly made it apparent that she doesn’t care about them.

I can’t focus on people who aren’t my friends right now.

“So, is there anything I can do to help you, Onee-chan?”

I put one hand on my hip and nodded with enthusiasm now.

“Well, you’re coming to the STARS concert with us this upcoming weekend. I’m going to need your help when we get there, Hana-chan.”

I slumped my shoulders.

“Simpson-san read through me today. She came to visit our school nurse, and I happened to walk in and catch them.”

“Oh…that’s not good.”

“It’s not. So, if she becomes too suspicious of me…I'm going to need the rest of you to help me get Sophia-san and Taylor-sensei on stage.”

With a warming beam, she took my hand. In the icy afternoon, my little sister melted my ice-cold heart.

“Hey…Onee-chan.”

“Yeah, Hana-chan?”

“Together, we can get through anything, right?”

I nodded with determination.

“Yeah, we’ll get through this.”

“Even in this situation with our family…if we work together, we can get through it? We can…stay as a family, right?”

Her worries were well-founded. Hana-chan was worried about a multitude of things, and she needed my reassurance that I'd do my best to make sure everything would be okay. So, I closed my eyes and nodded with all the confidence I could muster.

“Yeah, if we can help Sophia-san and Taylor-sensei with something this big…there’s no way we can’t figure out our family situation too.”

“…I love you, Madoka. I want you to know that.”

My little flower wrapped her small hands around my waist. The pure words that escaped from her lips made my body feel as though I was in an embrace of warmth. It calmed my feelings all the more as I nuzzled my nose on her soft hair.

“…I love you too, Hana-chan.”

 

 

Together we held hands as we made our way back home. We didn’t speak much as we did, either. As if we both were letting our feelings settle in. I felt comfortable as if all my worries would wash away when I’m with Hana-chan.

 

 

 

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