Chapter 167: Ch.35 – What is Inside Our Hearts (5/5) [ R15+ Content Warning]

 

Afterward, Mae and I helped clean the dishes and put up the leftovers. Mr. Watanabe went to the living room and began working as he watched TV. Once everything was put up, we returned to Mae-chan’s room.

“Do you have a change of clothing?”

She asked, looking at my school uniform.

“No, I… only have my school uniform."

Embarrassed, I admitted. Mae-chan nodded.

“No worries, you can borrow some of my clothes! Alright, let’s head to the bath. We’ll wash your clothes and then hang out before bed. It sucks that tonight is a school night…."

“Yeah, it would have been fun to stay up later with you.”

Mae shrugged.

“Then we should plan a day that it’s just the two of us and stay over like we used to.”

“That would be fun.”

I followed Mae-chan into the washroom. She already got the bathwater ready, all we had to do was get undressed and washed before going in. I was still unsure if the bath would fit two high school girls. It wasn't as big as Sophia-san’s place, and from what I remembered, we were getting too big for it in elementary school.

I unbuttoned my clothing and put my jacket into the hamper. When I turned to Mae-chan, she was already down to her heart-patterned underwear.  That toned figure from her sporty days was still there. I could see the outline of her stomach's abs, and for some reason… I was fixated on them.

 

 

“Mhmm…”

I nudged myself to look away and continue getting undressed. When I was finally down to my bare skin, I turned back to my childhood friend only to see her hair flowing down behind her back. I always tend to forget that Mae-chan’s hair is longer than mine because she always has it in a ponytail.

“You really have become a woman.”

Mae teased, looking at me.

“S-Shut up, Mae.”

She grabbed my warm hand and led me to the wash station. After testing the water, she sprayed it on my feet.

“How does that feel?”

Her warm breath tickled along my neck. I'm sure she wasn't feeling all these embraces the way I was…  Things were much different since I've openly accepted my sexuality. I could feel the warmth of her skin and her breasts pushing on my back. These sensations that used to be innocent from my friend became all the more… arousing to a teenager like me.

“It’s fine. The water… is fine.”

At that, she began washing my back. The flow of water trickling along my body felt nice as she scrubbed a gentle soap along my back. The smell reminded me of her, subtle vanilla. It took me back to the days when she was younger. Mae-chan would always have these excessive fruity smells from her shampoos, and my favorite was a kiwi one. I would always smell her hair, and it would make her laugh…

“Mae…”

I whispered her name, and it echoed in the space.

“What’s up?”

I smiled as I asked.

“Do you remember those fruity shampoos?”

For a moment, she continued to wash my hair and back before answering.

"Ah, I remember you loved the kiwi one that mom bought for me. You would always smell my hair, and it tickled."

My smile turned to a grin. Mae remembered, and it made me feel all stupidly warm inside. Like someone turned on a stove inside my stomach, and its heat rose to my chest.

“Yeah… I was such a stupid kid back then.”

Mae-chan pushed her body closer to me as she washed my stomach.

“You know… I would use that more often because it made you happy.”

She confessed, causing me to turn to the side and look her in the eye.

“Oh?”

"Yep… I didn't care for it… but you loved it, and I wanted to make you happy."

Even back then… it seemed that Mae-chan would sacrifice for the spoiled brat I was. I couldn't help but giggle. I was both happy and embarrassed that she confessed this to me.

“What, you like me smelling you or something, Mae-chan?”

“Eh, no! It was just fun. I just like to see you smile.”

Suddenly, she rinsed me down, causing me to close my eyes as I laughed out loud.

“I want to see you smile more, Mae… like in the past.”

I grabbed the hose from her and splashed her back. Mae-chan was surprised as I took over and began spraying her like a madwoman.

“M-Madoka! Madoka! At… at least soap me up first!”

I stopped as I stood over her. She sat back in the chair, and I sat behind her. Gently, I applied the same soap she did to me. I caressed her beautiful back and washed her hair. I could see a fine line of black as I sat closer to her.

 

 

“Oh, you have to dye your hair again soon.”

I suggested.

“Yeah, it’s turning back to its natural color. I’m… not ready to go back to black yet.”

I felt her sides, how toned they were compared to Hana-chan or Sophia-san. Mae-chan had this tomboyish body that had its own unique charm to it. Nobody could say that she wasn’t beautiful.

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"I missed this…."

Mae confessed out of nowhere.

“Hm?”

“I just missed… spending time like this with you, Madoka-chan. It makes me forget how I really messed up, you know?”

I laid my body on her and held her close to me. She felt so small despite being taller than me.

“Yeah… I missed this too. Let’s… let’s do our best… to move forward. I know… it’ll be hard for the both of us… but we have to.”

She held my arm, and for a moment, the showerhead fell to the floor. We embraced each other for a while. I think we both wanted to cry, but we didn't end up doing that. Our warmth between one another showed that we were stronger together than at any other time.

“Let’s get in the bath before it gets too late, Mado-chan.”

Reluctantly, I let go of her as she turned off the water and led me to the warm bath. She got in first. It was so small that I wasn't sure how I would get in when she pulled me. I fell in, water splashed everywhere, and I was held from behind.

“Ehhh, that was dangerous, Mae."

I complained as her legs were at my side. She held my stomach, right below my breast, and I could feel hers rub against my back. It was strangely comforting like she was protecting me from the world outside. I felt safe. Mae embraced everything about me and… I could never repay her for what she's done for me so far.

 

 

“I wish I could stay here forever.”

I said as she held me closer.

"You want to stay in the bath with me? We'd get all shriveled from the water."

She joked, causing me to squirm in her arms. 

"Shut up, Mae-chan."

I complained as I lied back... on her soft body.

"Yeah, I wish you didn't have to go back either, Mado-chan... Sorry, you have to deal with all that at home, Madoka.”

The water around us was still, and it represented how calm we were in each other's presence. Mae smelled nice and it took me away from the craziness of my life. As I felt her thin fingers touch my skin, I knew I was truly safe in her arms.

"Mom would rather push the problems away than deal with them head-on. She… would rather push her own daughter away than explore the past."

Mae-chan held me closer, causing me to exhale suddenly.

“You don’t plan to stay over again tomorrow?”

I shook my head.

“No, I don’t want to impose on you all… and I have to confront mom and Mari-san about everything…."

I thought about Mary-san. She suggested that I moved in with her. I was just as angry with her as I was, mom…

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Mae-chan…."

My knight held me closer and whispered in my ear.

“Then sleep on it. If you want to talk about it, we can… but I suggest you try and relax right now, Mado-chan.”

She… brought a smile to my face like she always did.

 

 

"I'll always be here to protect you, Madoka."

"...Thanks Mae-chan."

 

 

---

 

After we got out, we relaxed in her room for a while before we both got in bed. Mae-chan had an extra futon she would use in bed and gave it to me. As I lay there in the dark room, I thought about everything that had happened today.

“Mari-san…”

As much as I’m happy that she kept mom from hurting herself… This situation was amplified by her too... 

“Mom…”

Mom couldn't take it when I was in my coma and tried to harm herself. She dragged Mari-san into a void to not feel lonely. I would be careless to think that Mari-san doesn't share feelings for her. For too long, mom has been feeling that everything was perfect when in reality, there were large cracks she chose to ignore. And just like that pattern of behavior, she finally decided to cover any damages by sending me away. Mom and I… need to chat about everything, and I… need only the truth from her.

“Hana-chan…”

The one who suffers the most from all of this. After Hana lost her father so long ago, my little sister finally got a family. For the first time, she had a sibling to experience things with… and that had been me. Someone who fell in love with her mother and had the power to destroy all that she loved…. How I wish I could have stopped loving Mari-san and hid everything for her to be happy…

 

Maybe one day, through all the turmoil, we can come out as a family.

It… might be a different kind of family… but a family.

My mind kept swirling about Mary-san, her proposal, and everything I had to do tomorrow.

I planned to meet with Hana-chan after school and chat with her before returning home.

There, I'll figure out what I need to do.

 

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