Chapter 10: Piano Sonata No. 10

Part 1 

There was nothing interesting in the music shop, so we left. 

"Want to get some drinks?" 

"Y-Yeah." 

Charlotte seemed a little bit bashful and embarrassed after what had happened in the music shop. 

"Let's look at the map." 

Beside another shop was a layout of the entire mall, after reading through it for a while I found a cafe. 

After arriving, we took our seats and sat down. 

This was a tiny cafe within the mall, it was quite small and had a cozy sort of feeling to it. 

"Do you want anything?" 

"I don't know the drinks humans drink besides water and soft drinks. You can decide something for me." 

Charlotte smiled, although reserved. 

By now, her energy was back and her face went back to normal, but she was acting a little bit meeker than usual. 

"Okay, I'll order two strawberry smoothies then." 

As our order went through, we waited.

As we waited, we began to chat. 

We chatted about various topics, laughing and giggling. 

Slowly and steadily, she returned to the Charlotte I knew as she got comfortable. 

I was enjoying this talk. 

As we were talking, Charlotte suddenly went through her shopping bags. 

"What are you trying to find?" 

"It's a secret~" 

After rummaging for a while, Charlotte finally pulled out something. 

It was that pink hoodie. 

"Ta daah! I'm wearing it now, how does it look?" 

It was the hoodie saying "You Are My Piano" 

"You look cute" 

"Heehee~" 

Charlotte smiled. 

Our conversation went on for about 20 minutes, until my eyes trailed outward, noticing something. 

I saw a kid and his father, walking in. 

They too were in a good mood, both of them laughing and giggling, you could feel the radiance of positive energy shining outward from them. The kid was on his father's shoulders, having fun. 

Seeing them have so much fun with each other made me feel a bit happy... And envious. 

"..." 

Why couldn't father have done that for me? 

Why couldn't he smile at me like that? 

Why couldn't he talk with me like that? 

My fingers drained, replaced with the cold winds of envy. 

My spine shuddered, stretching all the way into the temples of my forehead like electricity, reminding me of my unseeing grief. 

Why? 

My heart clenched...

...and shattered. 

Fuck off, you worthless spawn. 

It was a mistake to have you, I wish you'd just disappeared. 

"...?!" 

My eyes widened, my vision narrowed as I froze.

Suddenly, I felt my chest rise and fall faster than usual, my heartbeat audible as a cold sweat fell from my forehead. 

"Arthur, are you alright?" 

"N-No, yeah, I'm fine." 

What the fuck do you want? 

Come here, I'll teach you a much more physical piano lesson.

"Are you sure? Y-You look like you're in pain." 

"I said I'm fine!" 

I banged my fist on the table before shouting back at Charlotte. 

Move, you're in my way.

Take that, you fucking trash!

Stop. 

Stop remembering, forget it.

Stop! 

"Stop it!" 

An explosive bang erupted throughout the mall cafe as I banged my elbows onto the table, I could feel my hands pressing against the side of my face, my fingers squeezing against my forehead as my eyes glared downward, toward the table aggressively. 

"Arthur?!" 

With my sudden outburst, Charlotte suddenly flinched and recoiled. 

"No... No, no, no, no, no...! No!" 

I could feel the wetness well within the corners of my eyes as I remembered the happenings of the past. 

I began to sweat profusely, my hands uncontrollably shaking. I could feel that my face had contorted into a scared and terrified expression, eyes squinting. 

My entire body quaked as a shudder went down my spine. 

Can we just do a late abortion on this demon spawn? 

Haha, late abortion? Honey, you're so funny. 

Everything around me turned grey, distorting into shapes and figures as what a blind person would describe they'd see. I could feel the warmth escape my fingertips, replaced by numbness. 

This numbness climbed from there to my face, under my eyes, covering my entire face. 

"Come on, let's get out of here!" 

Charlotte grabbed my arm and forced me of my seat, running out of the cafe with my arm in her hands. 

We went past through people, places. 

My heavily footsteps echoed, I felt slow. 

We continued pacing throughout the mall. 

We didn't stop moving until we were alone. 

Where no one could see us, I stood there, lifeless. 

I felt like a corpse. 

My eyes. 

I haven't noticed it, actually. 

But a simple look could tell. 

My eyes were empty. 

They always were. 

There was never a time where it had life. 

Chad noticed the lifelessness in my eyes, and invited me out. Any outsider could tell, only I couldn't. 

This entire time, I was living in hell, being under the delusion I was living in paradise. 

I was still haunted by my family. 

"...You've escaped that hell hole, you've escaped. They can't hurt you anymore." 

...A voice? Who's that? 

Past this cold, complete numbness, someone's embrace, someone's arms wrapped around me. 

Charlotte hugged me, her warmth transferring itself over to my cold lifeless standing body. 

"...Charlotte? What-" 

"Don't speak." 

Suddenly, I felt something touch my lips. 

"...?" 

"...!" 

Charlotte had gone on her toes, pushing her face upwards toward mine. 

Connecting our lips. 

Into a kiss. 

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She let go of my waist, bringing both her hands to my face, pushing me downward and into the kiss. 

From her mouth and hands, I could feel life entering my body from my face. 

"..." 

I opened my eyes, seeing Charlotte's face right in front of mine, her eyes closed as she immersed herself with the kiss. 

Charlotte? She's, she's kissing me? 

What's this? 

My knees went weak, the pressure in my body died off as if they went to sleep. I unclenched my toes, hands and ultimately, my heart. 

With that release, a huge surge of emotion erupted from my heart.

From the corner of my eyes, I could feel my tears welling down from my cheeks to my chin. 

"I love you." 

Charlotte pulled out from the kiss and said as she put her hands behind my head caressing my hair. 

She opened her eyes, making eye contact with mine. 

Still, within the grasp of Charlotte, my knees gave way. 

I fell on my knees. 

You... Love me? 

Someone, loves me? 

That's impossible. 

"...Why?"

In a teary filled voice, I let out that one word. 

"...Isn't it obvious? It's on the hoodie you bought me... It's because I'm your Piano." 

"..." 

Charlotte bumped her forehead against mine, gazing into my eyes, her blue pearly eyes. 

M-My piano?

No one has ever loved me, not even my parents. 

Charlotte filled out the love gap abandoned by my parents. 

I began to softly sob. 

Charlotte, now above me, put her chin on the top of my head as she brought my crying face into her chest. 

"Let's go home-"

As she suggested to go home, I pulled her back down, muttering: 

"-No... Stay here..." 

Smiling warmly, Charlotte embraced me tightly, and we sat there for twenty minutes as I continued to cry and sob. 

Part 2 

The next morning I woke up on my bed, finding Charlotte sleeping peacefully under my arm. 

Suddenly, the event from yesterday came flashing through my mind in a mere few seconds. 

"...Huh?" 

I grimaced, clutching the bedsheets as a wave of embarrassment flushed over me. 

"What the hell was I doing yesterday?!" 

AAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"How humiliating, crying into a girl's chest! How embarrassing! What the hell did I do?!" 

I clutched my head into my hands, hitting my forehead furiously as I tried to force the memory out of my mind. 

"...Huh? You're awake?" 

"Charlotte?!" 

Charlotte, who was sleeping under my arm slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes having just woken up. 

"...Arthur? Hey, are you feeling pathetic now?" 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. 

She knows exactly how I'm feeling! 

"Hey, that's not a funny thing to say, shouldn't it be 'are you feeling better now'? Aah, you're so annoying, aah, nothing happened yesterday, yes, it was just a dream." 

I nodded to myself, accepting my delusion. 

In response to that, I felt a small warm delicate hand go inside my unbuttoned shirt and touch my chest. 

"Something. Fun. Happened. Yesterday." 

...

"..."

"Kufuu~" 

Charlotte smirked. 

"I did not cry into your chest, I did not." 

"Yes you did, you cried into my chest... You also said: 'Charlotte, my princess, please... Don't leave me...' Puahahaha! That was so cute! Awah!" 

"Do you want me to kill you? Actually, I'll untune your piano strings." 

Despite this, for some reason, my heart felt lighter than usual. 

My eyes felt like they had a tiny bit of more life they did before. 

Suddenly, throwing away the dynamics of earlier, Charlotte immediately sat up, grabbing by arm and rolled up it's sleeves. 

Throughout my forearm revealed countless of scars and cuts, they all ranged in age, and unfortunately, some of them were recent. 

"Tell me about this." 

Charlotte looked at me with a serious expression. 

"...You should already know... I always... Do it in front of you..." 

I looked downward, a shadow cast over my eyes.

"Yeah, I've seen you do it... From now on, I'm not gonna let you cut yourself again. Can you promise me that you won't do it anymore?" 

"..." 

I turned my head to the side, avoiding her gaze. 

"Arthur." 

It was a difficult decision. 

I began to self-harm when I was 9 years old, overwhelmed by my mother's strict abuse and degrading, and continuously longing for my father's love. 

My mother would call me worthless, and not skilled enough to play the piano properly, compare me to my younger brother and put me under a strict isolating schedule, father would outright ignore me and glare at me with seething hate. 

They looked at me as if I was trash. 

And because I was treated this way, I never got a chance to improve or work on my social skills.

So when I was at school, I was bullied monstrously. 

Pins on chairs, stealing shoes, beating me up... Everything in the book.

All because of my social ineptness yet unusually high grades and how I was different to everyone else by playing the piano.

No one loved me, I can't think of a single person who outwardly cared for me. 

It felt like a deep dark cold prison cell, where guards would only come in to beat me up or give me food, leaving right after. That was my life, nothing more, nothing less. 

I was in prison, in prison with a piano. 

I felt numb, both my emotions and body were numb. 

So numb, that I couldn't stand it. 

So one day, I found a metal ruler on the playground one day. 

To fill up the deep dark void of emotionlessness and melancholy within me, I cut myself. 

When I did, I smiled with my lifeless eyes. 

... 'I don't feel so numb anymore... Hahahah...' 

... 'At least I can feel something with this' 

I thought back then. 

I only began to cut myself to feel something, in order to not feel nothing. 

And I've been doing it ever since. 

"Arthur, are you listening?" 

Charlotte tapped my cheeks, waking me up from my thoughts. 

"Y-Yes." 

"-Now, give me an answer." 

She said, looking up at me with a serious expression. 

I frowned as I looked at my arms, the cuts. I specifically looked at the first one, the one I cut with my metal ruler. 

Gripping my fists, I looked back up, into Charlotte's eyes. 

"...Fine, I'll stop, I'll stop doing it." 

I rolled back down my sleeves, looking back at Charlotte with the first time genuine and warm smile on my face. 

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