Chapter 275: 275. It's Not The Same.

"You really want to know about his mom?" Paul asked, walking around his desk to sit. Jessie moved forward and sat across the desk from him.

"Yeah, I do. Shouldn't I? He's been having very bad episodes and his mother is the reason for all of it." She sighed. "Did he really..." she hesitated "...kill her?"

"Do you think he did?" Paul asked, trying to figure out her thoughts.

"No, I don't. But I've come to realize that when you love someone you tend to be blind about some things, I don't want to be blind about this." She stated curtly. 

"He didn't kill his mother." He said.

"Are you sure?" 

"Pretty, I'm not sure where all this is coming from but it wasn't an issue back then." Paul confirmed. 

"But you weren't there, were you?" She asked. 

"No one was, it was just Jason and his mom." Paul replied. 

"So you can't be sure." She said. 

"I am, damn it. He didn't kill his mother, he... might have even died with her back then." Paul said softly, looking away but she caught it. She saw the look of sadness in his eyes, she noticed the way he clenched his fists.

"What do you mean by he died as well?" She asked.

"Nothing, it was... you weren't supposed to hear that." He stated bluntly. 

"But I did." She replied firmly, her brows furrowed she stared intently at him. Her gaze a mixture of desperation and pure curiosity. "Paul I know you have your reservations about me-" his eyes flew to hers but she kept going. "And I know you think I can hurt Jason."

"But you can hurt Jason." He stated, his gaze making her feel strange things in her belly. 

His eyes hid nothing, she knew it. She'd be blind to not notice how he looked at her with that cautious approach whenever he was around. 

How he was always quick to point out possible mistakes that could be made regarding her at critical times, she knew. And now it was out in the open, he didn't hide the emotion anymore. More than ever it burned through her, through her conscience.

She swallowed, "I'm aware, and trust me that's the last thing I want. For him to suffer because of me, and before you say anything I know he is already suffering because of me, because of that statement I made. But I love Jason, everything has changed. I'm no longer concerned about anything else but him, I have a lot I need to get through, my life is a mess right now, but Jason is hurting and I can't bare to watch him suffer." Her intense gaze turned soft, her features drawn and her forehead creased. She looked honest. 

"Please, I need to know. I need to know to help him."

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"So you don't care about acting anymore? Remember, you told me you couldn't be with Jason because you were afraid to lose your acting." Paul said sternly, waiting for her answer. If she gave the wrong answer, then he didn't care about anything else he would do everything he could to get her away from Jason.

But she didn't say anything for a while... "I still want to act, Ofcourse I do. But I tried so hard to stay away from Jason, I remained selfish and continued to choose myself, I do care about acting but... it's not the same." She said. 

His eyes narrowed at her, but she continued. "It's not the same. This... Jason, what we have it's... different. It's like I can't breathe when he's not okay, and I feel so happy when I see him. I can't help myself when I see him, he is everything that occupies my mind, especially now... when-" she shook her head. "Have you ever been love? I don't know how to describe it because I don't even understand it but I promise I won't ever do anything to intentionally hurt Jason."

Paul fisted his hands and got up, walking to the window he stood, backing her and looking out. "Do you know how much he has lost since you came into his life?" He asked, turning partially to face her.

"Paul... I-"

"No Jessie, don't say a thing. I'll admit I have had my reservations about you, and while it wasn't as bad a I predicted Jason has made considerable sacrifices for you." He said, almost gritting his teeth as he thought about Paradise. "That statement you submitted to the police, do you know how much money that cost him?"

"..." she looked down, unable to maintain his gaze. Surprising even herself, why was she silent? She could counter his arguments, Jason wasn't exactly a passive member of everything that happened. It was his idea to submit the statement in the first place. But instead she kept silent, because for some odd reason she felt she understood Paul. And she needed to understand Jason so she needed to know...

"200 million dollars." He stated curtly, causing her to sigh. "He has to remain attached to that Lee family, even though all he's wanted since the engagement was to get out from under his father and end it. Because of you. He's no longer the Jason everyone knows. He's grown soft." Paul said, his tone calm and steady, his gaze still on whatever caught his attention outside the window.

"Paul, it's-"

"But that's the Jason I knew, the Jason I thought died back there, fourteen years ago." He said, turning to look at her. "I have my reservations, but you answered correctly. If you had said something as tacky as I only care about Jason now, that would have been a lie and I could never trust you." Paul said, walking back to sit. 

Jessie blinked at him in confusion. "What?" 

"You aren't a quitter, nobody who went through what you did would just let go. If not for anything but the fact that you suffered so much, you can't help but fight for you life back, and there's nothing wrong with that. Wanting to do something you love."

"Paul." She said softly.

He gave her a small smile and began to speak. "Jason was perfect, he had godlike looks, he had the most mesmerising and the kindest smile on his face most of the time. And he was so nice it was annoying to even me sometimes. That's who he was, that who his mother raised him to be, a man that treated people right." Paul said.

Jessie leaned back into her seat, trying to add up Paul explanation of Jason with the obnoxious jerk she met.

"He changed, after his mother died, his father sent him away for almost two years. He was the opposite of everything I knew him to be. I was always jealous of Jason. He was better at everything, he was the only child so there weren't annoying older brothers to deal with. He effortlessly drew people to him, and but I could never hate him. Because he was just too... good?" Paul smiled sadly as he reminisced "but that changed when he came back. He became this, angry, violent and incredibly mean person. Always getting into trouble, always exploding. Not withstanding his looks and his status he managed to push everyone away."

"But not you." Jessie said. 

And he smiled, "not me."

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