Chapter 27: 27. An Open Secret

Shiro

“The key to recovery after major surgery is giving yourself the time to heal properly. Listen to the doctors. Follow their orders. They’re professionals who trained for years to save lives, and they know what works. Under no circumstances trust Hollywood movies about this, and believe me, I’m aware of the irony.” I smile into the hand-held camera that Hank aims at me. We borrowed it from set to shoot a short segment for a project that’s been bouncing around my mind for a while, using the break between takes and the fact our trailer is empty for the moment.

Two months ago, shooting a video for thousands of people would make me squirm with nerves, but I don’t blink an eye these days. Funny how life can change overnight.

“When your doctors clear you to exercise, you’ll want to take it slow. The aim should be to strengthen your muscles and tendons in a slow, controlled way. If you rush things, you risk further damage. Now, let’s say you just had a major shoulder surgery like I did about a year ago—”

A knock on the door interrupts our session. Hank sends me a questioning look, so I give a brief nod, and he pushes the pause button, putting the camera aside.

“Come in,” I call to whoever’s behind the door.

Hank crosses over to me and plops down on the sofa, taking a second to stretch and yawn.

“You’ve almost made me want to exercise. Well done, Shiro.” 

“Wait until we’re finished, then you’re testing all that stuff I’m showing on your own.”

“I see how it is. No good deed, huh?” 

The door flies open, and Keith walks in with a scowl on his face, but when he notices our setup, he does a double take, and his expression melts into curiosity.

“What’s going on here?” 

Hank gives him a lazy wave.

“DP said we’re not rolling for another hour, so we were making a video with Shiro.” 

Keith cocks a brow at me. Great, now he’ll think I’m an idiot or trying to capitalize on my fame. My future fame. My pre-fame.

“It’s just an idea, really. I was talking to Jeanine the other day, you know, from catering? Turns out, her son dislocated his shoulder recently, then underwent surgery to reattach some ligaments, but he couldn’t afford a proper therapist afterward, so she wanted to pick my brain for some tips. And then I realized other people might benefit from such information, so I asked Hank to help me film an instructional video.” 

The gaze Keith sends my way is part admiration, part exasperation, and part something I can’t decode.

“What? There’s no conflict of interest, is there? I checked my contract three times. It doesn’t forbid me from posting my own videos if they don’t contain spoilers or harm the show.” 

The corners of Keith’s mouth tilt up. My eyes are riveted to the subtle movement, and nothing in the world could force me to take them off him. When he’s around me, I lose the capacity to process my surroundings, to notice anything else than this beautiful, enigmatic man.

“You truly are a fucking real-life paladin, aren’t you?” 

“I don’t have the power to smite my enemies, so the jury’s out on that.” 

Keith’s mouth twitches, but he suppresses a smile and turns to Hank, who’s lying on the couch, scrolling through his phone and not paying any attention to our exchange. Thank god for small mercies. It’s bad enough that Katie and Lance tease me about my crush on our co-star. I don’t need Hank joining in on the ‘the one to make Shiro blush drinks for free tonight’ fun. 

“Is it okay if I borrow Shiro for a sec?” Keith asks.

“Sure. I’m gonna grab something to eat. We’ll finish this later, Shiro. See ya!” He pushes off the couch with a grunt and heads out. Without his presence, the trailer fills with tense silence. Keith shifts from foot to foot, suddenly afraid to meet my eyes. Once Hank’s footsteps fade away, he jumps to the door and locks it behind him. I plop down on the sofa, watching his every movement, and he comes to settle next to me, close enough for me to reach out and touch him but too far to make the action appear innocent. My fingers twitch with the need to slide over the sleek muscle of Keith’s forearms, but the divide between us acts as a deterrent. Clearly, Keith’s not comfortable with casual proximity despite our kiss, and I’d better respect that.

“Are you aware that you’ve locked Hank and Lance out, right? It’s their trailer too.”

“They can manage for a couple of minutes.” 

“What do you need, Keith?” 

With every drop of restraint, I strive to keep my tone neutral, but from the smirk on Keith’s face, I fail miserably. An odd huskiness settles over my vocal cords, turning the simple question into a suggestion of something more.

After our return from the tree farm, filming kept us busy and mostly apart. Things between us hang in an odd limbo where I don’t want to push and scare Keith away in case he’s not okay with his sexuality or the change in our dynamic, but dammit, being this close to him makes me ache with the urge to pull him into my arms and fuck him through the couch cushions. 

No. Don’t think about that. Unless Keith says otherwise, we’re coworkers and nothing more. One kiss means nothing.

Too late. My dick has already sat up and taken notice, stiffening behind the zipper of my pants, so I slide a pillow over my lap as casually as possible to cover my reaction to Keith.

“I wanted to check in about the scene we’re shooting today. You know, the one…” Keith’s voice trails off, and he clears his throat several times but doesn’t continue. 

The shooting schedule is something I’ll never comprehend, jumping around the timeline like a rabbit on acid. For some reason, today is the day we’re doing one of the final scenes when our characters end up having sex during the night before the main battle. 

“Do you mean Akira and Ryou spending the night together?” 

“Um. Yeah. That’s the one. Yes. Are you okay with it, or do we need an intimacy coordinator?”

My overexcited cock likes the idea of our characters getting intimate too much and twitches in the confines of my costume, so I press the pillow down more firmly, but it doesn’t have much of an effect, not when I realize I’ll soon be kissing Keith again, touching his warm skin. Feel the long lines of his body molding to mine. My whole body is vibrating with a decidedly unprofessional excitement. 

“The scene isn’t going to show anything, right? No actual sex, just the lead-up?”

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Keith shakes his head.

“Yeah, pretty much the stuff in the script, so just undressing each other while kissing.”

“That’s fine.”

My eyes slide away from his face, fixating on a spot behind Keith’s ear. If I so much as glance at him directly, no power in the universe will hold me back from throwing myself at him to steal another kiss.

“Okay. Just wanted to make sure.”

Then, no matter how hard I struggle to stop it, our gazes gravitate together, lock, and hold.

“Keith—”

“Shiro—”

We both start talking at once, so Keith concedes and motions for me to go first.

“Look, this is all complicated. We work together, and you’re not…”

What? Out? Comfortable with your sexuality? You’re a little bi-curious, experimenting with a coworker? Can I say any of that out loud, or will that cross the unspoken boundary between us? Thankfully, Keith guesses the line of my thought and rewards me with the signature wry smirk that sends my blood thrumming.

“Sure, let’s call it complicated, but Shiro, you should know that this isn’t an experiment for me.” 

He searches my face for something, but I’m too afraid to even breathe, so Keith steals himself with a sharp nod and soldiers on.

“I’m gay. Wow. I’ve known since I was fourteen, but this is only the second time I’ve said that to anyone. The other person was Kolivan,” he answers my unspoken question when he hears my inhale, and the implications of his admission steal my breath. Keith’s comfortable enough with me to open up and share his greatest secret.

“Keith, I’m incredibly touched you trust me with this. Coming out is never easy, no matter the circumstances.”

“Yeah, believe me, I have an idea, but I hope you won’t run to the press,” he says with a tired smile.

“This might not be my place, but does this mean not out because of your career?” I hedge.

“Mostly, yeah. Kolivan claims that some things in Hollywood are like an open secret, and that’s fine. Everyone knows, but no one acknowledges it. But once something gets out—pun intended—the dynamic shifts, and people start treating you differently.”

“But you’re playing a queer character.”

“Much to Kolivan’s annoyance.”

“Still, do you think people would have such trouble accepting… you?” 

Keith scrubs his hand through his hair and plays with the strands while thinking over his answer. For a while, I suspect he’ll avoid the question entirely, but he’s a braver person than I give him credit for.

“Honestly, I don’t have a clue. I want to believe that most fans would be supportive, but I’d never get another decent acting opportunity. Plus, the press would have a field day dissecting every detail of my private life, and I can’t deal with that. The scrutiny is bad enough without pouring such juicy gasoline on the fire.” 

“That blows.” 

“Yeah. And not in the fun way.” He gives me a half-smile, then shrugs. 

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” 

“If I remember correctly, you didn’t so much drag me as I collapsed on top of you.” 

“That you did.” He shifts on the couch and brushes a stubborn strand of hair out of his forehead. It’s so dark it seems to shine blue and too thick to lie flat despite Keith’s many attempts to tame it. 

“This is stupid,” he says. His pink tongue peeks out and traces his lips. I follow the motion, hypnotized, and my nod is a perfunctory gesture, but I force myself to give it. “It’s probably for the best if we stay friends. People could think I used you to get on the show.”

“Not to mention it could ruin my entire career.”

“Besides, I don’t hook up with closeted guys. Not even for one-night stands.”

“So, where does that leave us? Colleagues? Friends?” 

“Friends,” I say, ignoring the way my throat closes up.

Keith’s eyes are trained on me, pupils so wide they swallowed the deep blue entirely apart from a thin ring. Instead of calming down, my dick grows harder and throbs in my pants with every ragged beat of my disappointed heart. 

“Fuck,” is the only thing Keith whispers before we both move at once, grappling at each other to fuse our mouths in a desperate kiss.

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