Chapter 47: 47. Chapter

Interestingly, this version was completely different than the other. It was still me, but a grown-up version. A young adult and beautiful twi'lek woman was standing in front of me. With a radiating warm force presence and a motherly smile plastered over her face. Its form was supposed to show me a possible and hopeful vision of the future. What I can become if I choose the lightside and break away from the darkness as much as possible. It was an innocent and happy image, which would be a dream to make into reality from most of the jedi.

Yet behind the motherly act laid a plethora of empty promises. As I know that I would likely never become a mother as a jedi. With that realization, the hearth of that true motherly love was already destroyed. This apparition, of course, could never realize that, as from its perspective it loved all beings as if they were its own children. Yet to ask such a love from a normal living being, would be likely leading to self-shaming and anxiety. Since such a thing is nearly impossible. Without my inherited knowledge I would say that it is entirely impossible. Now I know that there are few such light side monks, that have managed to reach such an affinity with the light, that they have become truly part of it. Reaching immortality in a very special way.

Our immortality, I mean, my order's way of reaching immortality, is very different in nature. It is purely based on our own knowledge of the force. First of all, focusing on the protection of the mind and the thought after death, few of us are able to appear in the form of a force spirit like Revan did, at least outside of our temples. Those monks are something entirely different. They are ageless beings, and basically untouchable. What I mean, is that they can materialise their bodies if they want to, or disperse it like a fog. They can touch things with their bodies if they wish, they can use the force in an immensely powerful way, but they usually choose not to. They can also eat, and live like a normal person, but they have no need to do so. They gain energy from the force and can change their appearance to whatever they want. Also, you can't really find them if they don't want you to find them. Such annoying beings they are... 

Also, they have an unusual kink for dangerously ridiculous trials... 

I woke from my thoughts to a warm sensation on the top of my head. I looked up and saw the newly arriving guest standing in front  of me.

It lovingly petted my head, and to its horror it also petted the head of the darkside manifestation sitting next to me. It flinched away immediately, with a pained expression on its face. 

They couldn't really touch each other without causing serious discomfort or outright pain for each other. They were avatars from opposite sides of the force. They are like fire and water. They can exist beside each other, but they cannot exist in exactly the same place. Imagine a river flowing through a burning forest. The fire burns the whole forest just next to the river, yet the river will still be there. The fire can't do anything with it. It will continue to flow as if nothing ever changed. 

This fact is the reason why I didn't use that much lightside abilities in my battles. This is a secret weakness of the Grey Order. Because of the opposing nature of the two sides of the force. We cannot channel light side powers and darkside powers at the same time, not effectively at least. If we do, both of their effects will be weakened therefore, if you want to reach the same effect you will need to use much more energy for them, and that will be more taxing on your body and mind too. Which is a very bad thing in a battle situation, where you can die from the slightest of mistakes, and mistakes happen more often when you are tired. So usually we look at the current situation, and pick one side of the force, which we will continue to use until things calm down or an emergency happens. And for a battle situation, where you are on the front line, the dark side is what you need to use. It provides much more opportunity and varieties of attacks. 

My thoughts were again interrupted by a loud and angered shout. 

-You! 

-You are quite cute when you are frustrated from failing to corrupt another innocent.

-You may laugh now, but it won't last long. I will be the one who wins in the end. You and I both know that.

- Not likely, but I commend your stubbornness. No one else would even try after so many embarrassing failures, especially in a row.

-... Sit down already and shut up... 

-Thanks for the invitation little sister. I think I will oblige. 

She bowed lightly in a ceremonious manner, and proceeded to sit down to my other side. It was about time. 

-You are late, again, it seems, that you have grown quite arrogant since the time we spent in your temple; you are in my territory now. So act accordingly, and be punctual!

-I did not grow arrogant. You are the one who did! Because Nizzy, chooses to use your powers more often than mine. I can do other things too, not just heal, you know? I would like to throw around some boulders at times and crush a few droids!

-Hah! Are you trying to convince me or yourself about that?

- What? ... You, of course. I am in peace with myself, not like you.

-... Are you seriously that thick? 

-... I don't understand. What do you mean by this? I am not fat am I? Why would I be thick? 

-I can't believe this... and you have the face to take on an adult form, again!

-I already told you to speak plainly. Explain what you meant... please.

-No way. 

I choose to interrupt their banter, knowing that otherwise it would go on forever... 

-Just explain to her, or we will be here for the whole day... 

The lightside manifestation, has some serious issues with understanding hurtful comments, which are not straight-out curses. The reason for this, is that it always, and I mean always, assumes the best from everyone around it. It wouldn't think that anyone would intentionally want to make fun of it or hurt its feelings. 

- Look at that! Someone finally decided to speak. You know that it is tiresome to constantly read your mind, and why don't you explain it, then, you are the only one who is bound by such insignificant things as time!

-But, you just told me that I was late... 

-Shut it. 

-Because I was not the one to speak in a confusing manner, you know that the lightside manifestation is too... pure to understand your meaning, even after all this time, she wouldn't suspect you to try and hurt her feelings. If there is another possible way to take the meaning of your words, she will choose that automatically... 

-She called me pure! Did you hear that? I am so happy to be praised like that. I am going to win her over, that's a given now!

-Argh... okay... listen carefully, what I meant by telling you... ~Few minutes later.

-What? You are so mean! You are hurting my feelings... 

-Of course, I mean... That's the point... and all...

-I never thought that you could be so cruel to your big sister!

-That's interesting because I was trying my hardest to make you realize this fact for a while now... Are you seriously surprised?

-You were trying to surprise me! How endearing... although, you should simply tell me that you want to spend more time together instead of planning a surprise. Now I am going to give you a big hug as a reward for your thoughtfulness!

-What? Get away from me! Your touch burns both of us, you crazy masochist... ARRRGHH!

-Ouch... It was a small sacrifice to make, and I have no regrets.. 

-This is why I hate you... 

-No, you hate me because you are not capable of doing anything else. 

.

.

.

Right about now, everyone should realize why I didn't really like to meditate... This technique is also a double-edged sword in more than one way. 

-I heard that! Although I am not really sure what you mean... 

-Yeah, me too... I mean, not the part when she doesn't understand it... sigh... 

I face palmed.

-I can't take this... 

There was another wave of warmness directly channeled into my body. I felt a single hand touching my shoulder for a few seconds, then it was removed slowly. 

I looked up, surprised by the sudden solidarity I received. What I saw was a slightly worried expression from the older me. 

-Nizzy, I want you to know that you can always count on me. I will support you, but I would be more efficient if you would rely on me more, instead of her cruel ways. 

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She gave a sidelong glance towards the darkside avatar. 

-Be careful, sister. Jealousy can lead to the darkside. 

-What jealousy? ~She blinked innocently... 

-...

-... 

Some of you may have a certain question right now. Which probably sounds like this: "Why are they acting like eight year old overly pampered brats?" Believe me, I know that it is annoying and would love to tell you that they are not like this most of the time. Sadly, I can't really say that. When both of their avatars are present and one is not able to overwhelm the other, they equally weaken each other. Yet, that wouldn't make them stupid, or childish.

Therefore, they are acting this way, to make me underestimate them, and believe me, it is quite hard no to do so, when they are doing it for years... Also, there is one more thing... they are supposedly mirroring my own subconscious opinion on them and changing their personalities, and even their forms to appeal to my own ideas. In other words, it is what my mind deep down thinks of them, and it is incredibly embarrassing to see... It's most likely because my physical brain is still one of a child's, even if it has an overwhelming quantity of information pumped into it. Biology is not that easily changed after all. 

These brats are millennium-old polarized manifestations of the same power. Even if they are acting, this is what they are, equipped with the power of my imagination and armed by my own subconscious interpretations, and expectations of them. One is shady and rude on the surface, while deep down it is truly terrifying, while the other is benevolent, sheltered, and slightly stupid, mirroring my own opinion of the majority of the jedi. 

-Puhahahahaa~~!

-What's so funny? I didn't read her thoughts now. ~ Pouts.

Honestly, the only time they show their true face like this, is when both of them are present with their force avatar. Probably only because they immediately begin to argue with each other or because they weaken each others presence, making it into a less potent one. Any other time they act in a completely different manner.

It is an open secret that the force has a willful and unique personality. More like two opposing personalities in one body, I bet that you can already see where this went wrong. 

-Stop laughing you big meany! 

-Hahahaa... oh wait... I just sensed a presence. Someone very powerful in the darkside exited hyperspace next to this planet. A Sith, but I feel that he is not committed entirely. Not yet, anyway. A fallen Jedi, then, still holding back to some degree, but not quite as much as you do... yes... he is powerful. He comes to destroy you. 

-What?!

-Then, you have to run Nizzy; there will be another time to face such a foe! 

-Oh, but she can't run, there is a collar on her neck. And if the queen dies, she will follow her soon enough. Only I can help you defeat him, if you give me a chance, let me help you, and I will destroy this enemy. Or you can die like your master did, alone, powerless, with many regrets. 

-Follow my guide Nizzal the Grey. My light bringers will help you to escape this malicious trap. Trust in the light, and you will be saved.

-I appreciate your offers. I will think about it, later, but for now, could you tell me who this Sith may be? 

-Let that be a surprise for the near fut-

-It's Count Dooku. He will meet with the queen in the throne room soon. 

-Thanks. 

-You fool! You just had to ruin my surprise! 

-She probably doesn't even know who this Count Dooku is. 

-Actually, I do. He is the fallen apprentice of Master Yoda, and one of the Separatist military leaders.

-Oops, te-he? 

-I hate you.

-You hate everybody. That is the only thing you are good at in the end, how boring.

-I will show you boring.

-Yes, you just did. Thanks?

-Urgh... I will leave now...

With that, the darkside avatar dispersed in a sudden vortex of wind.

-Ehh? Did I say something rude? I didn't want to... I will go and apologize immediately...

-You probably shouldn't...

Eh, she just turned into hundreds of colorful butterflies and flew away towards the direction the other one left.

-Sigh... Whatever, I should probably leave and try to save the queen some way, before she gets us killed... 

I slowly started the process of waking myself from deep meditation. After a few minutes I began to wake. My senses were coming back to me slowly. I finally opened my eyes only to be met with a pair of blue orbs watching me curiously. 

-Good morning, are you finished with your meditation? Because we need to go to meet your queen in half an hour, and you didn't even eat yet. Also, I have a few questions about this etiquette thingy. I know that you have already told me the basics, but, I can't seem to remember when and how deep I need to bow... I am not really good with this slave stuff... Its actually quite complicated...
As I listened to Ahsoka's ramblings, my mind slowly cleared from the drowsiness, which was the aftereffect of forcefully exiting deep meditation. As the contents of my meditation flooded back into my conscious mind, I immediately jumped up from my sitting position scaring Ahsoka in the process. 

-OHMYGOD! We have to figure something out. Dooku is here on the planet, and he definitely came here to kill me! 

Ahsoka's eyes widened with fear.

-Wh-wha-what are you talking about!? Is Dooku really here? How does he know about you? And how do you know that he is here?

-No time for answers, I have to go and defend the queen, if she dies, which is very likely because of her toxic personality and delusions... If she dies, I will die too!

-I don't even have a weapon! We can't fight him head on. I heard it from master, that he is really powerful!

-Wait, you are right... But, what can we do?! I can't fight with a Sith Lord in my current body! I am way too weak as a child and I couldn't run away. I am going to die after all this time!

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, while I was in complete panic. 

-Did you not know? ~Asked Ahsoka reprimandingly. I instinctively looked towards her, waiting for her opinion. She smirked then said. ~ Size matters not. 

-What? ~ I asked confused. 

-That is what Master Yoda would say. 

I blinked, then said. 

-He has the second largest midichlorian count in the current jedi order... Your master is the first... Of course, he would say that, but that is not true, when you are average in that regard. 

I sighed from the slightly betrayed expression of Ahsoka. She was only silent for a few seconds, then she continued. 

-We should just go, and ask for help from Master and Obi-Wan... Why do you want to do everything alone? Now move change your clothes while I speak with Skyguy and figure out some type of plan. 

She walked away to make the call while I blinked a few times, then I began to dutifully change into my handmaiden clothes... Since I didn't have anything better at the moment. 

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