Chapter 76: 77. Chapter

-From the perspective of Barriss-

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We had been waiting and waiting outside of the council room with master, and I was getting annoyed with the seemingly endless waiting. I sighed and asked master in a bored tone. 

-What are we waiting for master?

I asked trying to act neutral towards the situation, but it was too obvious how bored I was at the moment, so I gave up on the attempt halfway. 

Luminara looked at me with a sideway glance, quickly piercing through my shallow act and figuring out the real reason for my question. I rarely succeeded in lying to her, and even then, I had this feeling that she simply let it slide while clearly knowing that I lied.

It was kind of annoying in all honesty, also a bit scary, but it is what it is. 

She answered with patience. 

-When you grow older you will find waiting while doing nothing is a good opportunity to relax your mind and meditate. Why don't you do so, instead of hoping for some senseless excitement? How will you become a jedi knight and a consular if you are so inpatient.

I rolled my eyes tired with the forthcoming argument already. 

-You know that I want to become a guardian...

-Stop, rolling your eyes, girl. It's unsightly, and we are not in private, your actions disrespect your teacher as well. Also... the way you embarrassed me intentionally in front of the senator... if we didn't have a bigger problem than that, I would have punished you for that little act of yours.

I felt a wry smile appear on my face... as I looked aside with discomfort. Ugh... it seems she knows that too... 

-Now, you go there, sit down next to the wall, and reflect over your actions that might have led to the defamation of the jedi order... 

I wanted to roll my eyes but managed to stop the action just before it happened. Still, I couldn't help, but whisper while turning around silently.

-As if anything I do, could disrespect the jedi order any further... 

The words slipped from my mouth, just like that, and I was too late to realize this mistake... I felt a cold glare piercing into my back, and I immediately regretted my stupidity. I literally ran to the wall and sat down to meditate in the perfect lotus position I could muster. However, the glare didn't let up, I felt a few chills run over my spine... Uh-hu... she is extremely pissed off right now... Why did I have to run my stupid mouth... 

Master was quite hard to anger... almost impossible, but if you did, she would literally hold a grudge for years... She is going to tease me with this so much that I was already disheartened from the very thought. I should probably just go up to her and say that I am sorry... but then, I will disrespect her order to meditate. I guess, I will have to do it after I have meditated. 

With my resolve made, I closed my eyes and began to focus on clearing my mind from excessive thoughts. With my attention occupied my awareness of time became loose. This led to me becoming spooked when the door suddenly swung open. 

I jolted back into my awareness, and current sense of body and motion as my hearth skipped a beat or two with the disruption of my early meditative state. It was a similar sense, to being forcefully awoken when you were just about to fall asleep. That meant, I was pretty much disgruntled, instead of being relaxed by the meditation, I was further annoyed by it... 

The following words have made my grumpy state even worse. 

Master and Lily must have talked about something, while I was trying to calm myself, from the side effects of disturbed meditation. My hearth was still racing crazily, there was a reason why people only meditated in their rooms, or meditation chambers after all... they were meant to be quiet and peaceful, just like the library. 

A few minutes went by, when I finally managed to calm down my nerves. I heard light and silent steps closing on my position. The only reason I was able to hear it was because they were already next to me. Master must have sneaked up on me, while I wasn't aware. 

With that thought in mind, I looked up while opening my eyes. What I saw was a pair of glowing yellow eyes and a face covered in shadows, behind it's back were two raising spiky wings. 

There was a moment of frozen surprise... then I instinctively pushed myself backwards from my sitting position, only to be almost immediately stopped by the wall behind me... 

I was scared from the terrifying sight. It was still in the middle of the night, and the corridors, were only dimly lit. My logical mind, slowly caught up to my fear, and the shadowy figure, now took up the form of Lily.

The golden eyes, blinked, with a confused expression, as she looked behind herself. She didn't even realize that she was the reason I got scared so much...  I released the hilt of my lightsaber, which I was grabbing on my belt instinctively. It was a good thing, but I also realized something... If she was really a threat at that moment, I would be dead, as I got so scared, I forgot to ignite my blade. H-how stupid end, that would have been... Hehe...

I stood up slowly, putting my right hand over my chest trying to hide my hammering heart that was literally shaking my entire body with every beat. I looked around in the corridor, as the sudden burst of adrenalin began to leave my blood stream, as I realized there wasn't any real threat.

-Ugh... where is my master? 

I asked in a somewhat shaky and confused voice... 

I heard the creepy crackling sound, that indicated Lily's movement. At least I was getting used to that part... She turned back to me, with a totally blank face, and stated like a fricking droid. 

-Oh, she went back to her room. She said you will take care of the rest.

-I... what? 

She leaned her head to the side, while looking at me with that creepy emotionless face. 

-Ugh... did she say anything else? 

-No. 

I leaned against the wall, while hiding my face in my palms. OH GREAT! I should have known, that she wasn't going to let that remark slide so easily... Now I have to take care of Lily, and by the way what did she mean by taking care of her?

-What did the council decide, I mean, what am I supposed to do with you? 

Her, eyes lightened with understanding clearing away the confusion lingering around her presence.

-Your master, said that I was not to leave your presence, and the council ordered for me to remain in the inner temple area, wherever that is...

-The... inner temple? That must have meant, that you were accepted for further training!

Now it seems, that I was babysitting a new youngling... Even if she wasn't really that young, how was she even accepted? She is probably around my age, eh whatever, if the high council says it, who am I to point out their disregard towards their own rules. I should have known that it won't bind them, like it binds anyone else. 

Those who make the rules are not necessarily expected to follow them. It was the most basic unsaid principle of the Republic, and therefore the jedi order too. 

I bet master is currently drinking the wine I brought for her, while dropping the troubles in my lap... Sigh, damn... I kind of deserve it to be honest. I shouldn't have pushed her buttons so much today... It's just, I feel like nothing goes as I imagined, or planned for. 

I shook myself out of this self-induced stupor. On a sudden whim, I grabbed onto the left hand of Lily. She didn't react in any obvious way, except a blink. I began to walk, but she didn't budge at first. Sheesh she is a handful... 

-Let's go, I will take you to my room... 

-I am hungry.

-... Really now? Come to think of it, when was the last time I ate anything?

It turns out that I am quite hungry too. 

-Okay, we will go to the mess-hall first. What do you like to eat? 

-I like sandwiches. 

-That's good then, at this hour, we won't get to choose much else anyway. The cooking droids are already on power save mode, and they are on their charging stations to be ready for tomorrow. Don't you worry though... for those who arrive back to the temple, in ungodly hours, they always leave some cold trays out. We don't have to sleep with an empty belly at least. 

With that explanation, I pulled her hand one more time, and she finally decided to follow me without any resistance. Why do I feel like I've got a little sister to take care of all of a sudden... Well, she might as well be like that, since she is with the temple now. We are all brothers and sisters here, at least on paper. 

The reality is a bit more complicated I am afraid. As in a big family like this, you will have people you like, and people, you don't get along with. Well... in my case, I don't really get along with that many people. They find my presence burdensome, just as I find theirs, just because I am not content to blindly follow all of the jedi scriptures and didn't lie about it, or shy away from questioning it openly. 

I remind them of questions, they are not brave enough to speak out, but also bother their thoughts too...  So instead of taking up the courage, they tend to ignore, or lecture me. Hypocrites, tend to flock together, did you know that? A bunch of hypocrites can work together very effectively, until someone with a bit of honesty enters their circle. Then, they will effectiveness will begin to crumble which usually ends in the newcomer, either learning to appreciate hypocrisy and joining their lines, or becoming excluded from the bunch. 

And while integration is a necessity for culturally different people to successfully mingle together, like jedi does. If that integration, turns honest people into delusional hypocrites trying to avoid the slightest possibility of facing their own weaknesses. Then I say, it is a failure and better to be not part of it at all. 

Then again... here at least I have the possibility to help people who need it. I bet, that is the same reason why master Luminara stayed here too. After all, she knows all of this, better than me, however... I can't really forgive her for not doing anything against it. Aside from drinking wine that is, but I can't really say that to her...

She lost so many friends on Geonosis, and she tries her best to act light-hearted around me. Even so, I can sense her calmness to be more of an act than genuine peacefulness. 

I thought back to the words I said to her... She was probably feeling terrible because so many of them threw their life's away willingly on Geonosis, and all that for nothing. The war broke out, anyway, while the order suffered a decisive loss to their number and to its ego. Even if the battle on Geonosis, was a win, the results were needlessly devastating. All of us are suffering because of that tactical mistake, but nobody dares to say it out loud, as it would question the mindset of the whole order. 

From most jedi perspective, dying while trying to uphold peace is a noble death. However, it wasn't necessary. Master Luminara described the whole battle to me, and that they could have brought in the clone army from the very beginning, but they were reluctant to use it. Even when they all knew, and all felt it that they could not win against endless numbers of droids. Even if they captured or killed Dooku, that wouldn't guarantee that the droids would be stopped. They hoped for a miracle to happen while shouldering the fate of the entire galaxy. 

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The only reason, why I know these things so well, is because Luminara tends to trust me at least ten times more after a few glasses of wine. I always listen to her stories, as they are very honest with good observations. She also needs to tell it to someone, and she can't tell it to other jedi knights for the exact reason why I can't handle most padawan's presence... Except Ahsoka, and a few more at times. 

Anyway, we have arrived at the canteen. 

-I will make some sandwiches for you too... then we will bring it to my room. It is not exactly allowed to do that usually, but since it's your first day here, we will have a proper excuse for it. Whatever they ask, say that it was your idea, and we will get away with it for now. They can't expect you to know all the rules right away. 

- I understand. 

Answered the girl, while looking at me, with those yellow eyes. She needs to learn how to smile, and quickly or I will have trouble falling asleep. 

About twenty minutes later, I made a bunch of sandwiches and brought them back to my room, on a tray. We didn't meet with anyone on the way to my room, and neither in the canteen. It was not a common thing to arrive back at the temple in these hours, not even in the middle of a war. 

The entire temple seemed to be asleep right now, as we walked through the dimly lit corridors. It was kind of eery, but the thought that this was probably the safest place in the entire universe was deeply seeped into my mindset. Lily was standing beside me right now, while eyeing the food on the tray. 

-We are here, this is my room... Could you open the door, since I am holding the tray right now? 

She nodded, and walked to the door, then turned back to me with a questioning glare. 

-Just push the large green button right there. Padawan's are not allowed the encode their room's door. Only knights and higher ranked are allowed to do so. It's not like anyone would actually barge into your room without knocking at least. People here are polite to the very bone. 

Just as I said those words, she pushed the button, and the door opened revealing the deeply glaring Master Windu standing in the middle of my room.

My jaw hit the ground, or at least the tray I was currently holding, while I blinked in rapid succession. Lily also, blinked and looked at the familiar figure in the room holding a bundle of clothes neatly folded. These were normal jedi clothes, probably brought for Lily, I quickly realized. 

Even so, the sudden, and extremely out of character appearance of the obnoxious master has shocked me to the core. And why was he inside my room? 

He stepped forward, only sparing a disapproving glance at me holding a tray of food.

Ah, shoot... 

-Master Luminara, have said, that she entrusted you to her padawan. Therefore, I came to your room Barriss Offee, I see that your bad habits are still very much alive, seeing you bringing food to your quarters. 

I would never have imagined that Master Windu would be in my room, how could I have foreseen something like that... 

-I ugh... 

It was hard to find any excuse in this type of situation. Then I heard Lily speak. 

-It was my idea. 

One of the eyebrows of Windu rose mockingly, while he turned back to me. 

-I doubt that to be true, but even so you should have told her the rules, as you are no doubt aware of them. Regardless of that, take these cloths, there is also a provided sleepwear among them. Padawan Offee will no doubt describe the basic rules to you. Rest now, and tomorrow we will meet in the training room, I want to understand your capabilities and current skill levels.

-Until then, good night. 

-Good night. 

Said Lily.

-Good night to you, Master Windu. 

I waved after him, as he left the room, while giving Lily the clothes. As I said that, he froze end turned back slightly. 

-Your master will know about you bringing food to your room. None the less, good night Padawan Offee. 

Curse you demon! Curse you! I am going to be chewed out once more... I am seriously about to cry now... 

Even so, I nodded silently and skipped into my room finally getting a wall between me and Master Windu. I could take a breather at last, uh... I put down the tray and looked at Lily who was standing in the door, holding the clothes. 

-Come inside, already, and eat... then we will change and sleep... I can already see that tomorrow will be quite a long day, at least for me.

-Yes, thank you. 

-It's... nothing. 

I walked to one of the walls, and pushed a few buttons on a console that was built into the wall. Soon a hideable bed stretched out from the wall its legs raising up from the floor, connecting to the one person sleeping platform. It quickly assembled itself and I turned around smiling at Lily.

I saw her eyes, looking at the bed with curiosity. 

-Haha, I knew it. These technological things are always loved by newcomers. It's not different with you either. In most rooms, there are three beds like this, mine is already set up, since I live here normally. Only when we go out for longer mission, do we disassemble it. 

-It is not really unusual for friends to come over and sleep in the same room, until we are all girls that is... Tomorrow you will get your own room, since it is a bother to wake up the caretaker, he is a grumpy old fellow. 

I sat down on my bed while looking at Lily, who was eating one of the sandwiches silently. She sat down on a chair placed next to the table. 

-Whatever... leave one for me at least. I will make your bed while you are at it. There are spare pillows and blankets over here. I also changed my clothes to my sleepwear while Lily ate most of the food. Leaving me with only one sandwich. I didn't mind, since I wasn't that hungry anymore, not after what Windu just said.

I also ate my share.

-Which one is the sleepwear from all these clothes? 

Asked Lily all of a sudden. 

I turned back to her while pointing at the one. Well, jedi's clothes were all like pajamas in a sense, I don't blame her for being confused about this. 

-You put your current clothes in that basket over there, and they will be cleaned and stored for you... not that you will use them often, but it's still your stuff so, they won't throw it away, probably. You can never have enough clothes to be used on undercover missions after all.

Now get that thing off of you and change. 

She nodded and disconnected the magnetic locks just behind her neck and her lower back. With that, the skintight black cloth parted on her back and was easily pulled off and placed into the basket. Now she was standing in the room in a sport bra while flipping her wings in annoyance. 

I wanted to avert my eyes but couldn't help it as my gaze always wandered back to her. About half of her body was covered in that weird carapace, it was growing in a way that it drew mystical forms in thin and thicker lines around her back. It reminded me of the war tattoos belonging to primitive aboriginal tribe-based cultures.

I smirked good naturedly. 

-Must be a chore, to get dressed with those things on your back.

She answered without a pause. She wasn't troubled by being stared at... She didn't even blink. 

-It was, but since I came here things have gotten a lot easier, there are clothes that are compatible with me. 

-Good for you. 

She pulled off her boots and pants in a more old-fashioned way and put them in the basket too. Then she turned around standing in her simple black underwear and I was shocked by what I saw... 

There was a terrifying scar, a huge burn injury over her stomach. The skin color was a light red there, very different from her white skin, which could be seen at places that were not covered with purple carapace. The injury was already healed, but it was distinctly visible even if it had healed. How was she alive after that injury? It would literally cut her into two... or almost... Also, the burn was reminding me of lightsaber injuries... but it was wider, not as clean as a lightsaber would make, and probably much more painful.

I remembered her healing ability, and that she said she wouldn't be alive without them... Now I can likely see what she meant by that. Poor girl, she must have suffered a lot. 

I felt bad for her...

In the end, I had to help her pull up the upper part of her sleepwear... Since this one was not made with magnetic locks on the back... We will have to ask for a few small adjustments tomorrow...

Eventually we managed to get into bed and quickly fell asleep. It was a long and tiresome day, which eventually ended quite peacefully.

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