Saj still came every day to act like a dark energy life support system. However, the time Xie He spent awake still continued to decrease. In the end, he didn’t wake up once for a whole twenty-four hours.
Saj held Xie He, helplessness and sorrow in his eyes.
He possessed arguably the greatest power in the world, but this power could only bring destruction and annihilation….
Compared to his power to destroy, the Church was more adept in healing people. Moreover, only the God of Light could remove the light energy from Xie He’s body.
Saj kissed the lids of Xie He’s eyes, reluctant to part with him. My most beautiful elf, I don’t want to hand you over to anyone else…but if you stay with me, I can only watch as you slowly waste away. I can endure the pain, jealousy and fury if it’s for you.
Saj carried Xie He up and slowly walked out.
【Ding, the target Saj’s Favourability Value +2. The current Favourability Value is 96.】
Within the still palace of the Pope, Joshua lied on top of his bed. His injuries had yet to fully recover.
Although the conditions had been favourable, he had still lost in the battle against Saj. He had underestimated the evil god, who had lived for many tens of thousands of years.
Galanodel had been taken away, falling into the hands of Saj. Joshua didn’t know if the other was even alive…. He closed his eyes.
It had been a long time since he had been able to fall into a steady slumber. Galanodel had risked his life to plot against Saj. With Saj’s temperament, he likely would not forgive him. Perhaps Galanodel was dead. When he thought of this, for the first time, Joshua’s thoughts over his own actions wavered…. For the first time, he felt regret.
He may never again meet someone like Galan—a perfect, radiant existence who could affect his heart like this.
Even if he has become the God of Light, he could not possess genuine radiance.
How regretful.
At this moment, Joshua suddenly felt a foreboding sense of unease. He draped on his coat. Very soon, he could sense that the barrier around the church had been touched. That familiar, dark aura made his expression change.
Joshua muttered to himself for a while as he took to the corridors, slowly heading outside. Outside of the main gates of the Church was a man clad in black robes.
It was Saj…and in his arms was the beautiful elf, asleep.
Joshua swept a look over Saj, eyes very quickly falling onto Xie He. The other looked to be in deep slumber. However, with just a short glance, Joshua’s expression changed. He could sense the elf’s frailty…. His life was on an irreversible decline towards death.
That moment, Joshua could deduce why Saj had come.
“Save him and all of the faith in this world shall be yours.” Saj looked at Joshua, speaking clearly, “Otherwise, I’ll kill all your believers so that you can never set foot outside again.”
Joshua’s gaze sharpened. There was a bit of disbelief in his eyes. This was what he was willing to use any method to attain. Furthermore, the enemy over whom he had racked his brains had…actually decided to retreat out of his own will.
Saj said, “You do not need to suspect me of deception. This time, I will vow upon my Godhead. If you save him, I will back down from the fight over faith.”
Joshua slowly came back to himself. He stared at Saj. In the end, he was convinced that Saj was very serious when saying these words.
The gods relied on faith to exist. It was the source of their power…that was why they fought over it using any means possible. If Saj gave up on collecting faith out of his own will, that was no different from choosing to commit a slow, drawn-out suicide. He would gradually weaken, only to perish like the other gods in the end.
But for this one elf’s sake, he was willing to do it.
He loved him more than he cherished his own life.
Joshua felt like he should feel happy. Because of one elf, the enemy that caused him the greatest headache—that nearly undefeatable God of Darkness—was forfeiting. Victory was at hand…. Everything he wanted was coming true. However, what he felt right now was not the joy of victory, but faint jealousy. There was even anger at having the other giving him a pity win.
This elf had been born as the God of Light’s darling. He was supposed to be Joshua’s to love and to dote on. However, the other was currently possessed by Darkness.
It was as if a treasure that belonged to him had been stolen by a despicable pirate. Now, that pirate thought of himself as the treasure’s owner and had come to show off his ownership of said treasure to the original owner.
At this moment, Joshua was not willing to use Xie He as a bargaining piece. He said in an icy tone, “Even if you didn’t say all that, I would have still saved him.”
Saj could see the attachment Joshua had for Xie He. He had also been attracted by the beautiful elf…. This was his last resort. How could he be willing to hand Xie He over to a man who desired his elf?
It is just that I can’t save you.
Saj held Xie He tightly, gaze falling onto the other’s face. He slowly settled him down on the ground and then disappeared into the darkness.
When you are better, I will come take you away.
Before then, I will endure.
Joshua watched coldly as Saj’s figure disappeared. He then went over to gently bring Xie He into his arms.
He lowered his head, gaze full of love as he stared at the elf. His eyes became gentle. Don’t worry…this time, I won’t let you leave again because I finally know how much I care about you. Therefore, I will never again do something I will regret.
You are my most beloved.
Your beauty should be carefully hidden away and treasured.
&#k3010;Ding, Joshua’s Favourability Value +4. The current Favourability Value is 94.&#k3011;
………………………………
Xie He felt like he had been in a very long dream. He felt muddleheaded. His body would feel cold for a moment and then feel scalding hot in the next. The dark and light energy tore at each from within his body. The pain caused him to wake up groggily. He met with a pair of dark blue eyes.
Xie He was in a daze, as if he didn’t quite understand how he had come back to the Church. He didn’t think that Saj would let him go.
Joshua looked at him with a gentle expression and said, “It will hurt a bit. Bear with it.”
Only then did Xie He realize he was in Joshua’s embrace. While he was in a state of confusion, he saw that pair of blue eyes come closer. Joshua kissed him, bringing his slightly cold lips onto Xie He’s own. The next moment…Xie He felt some kind of sucking force stirring up the light energy inside of him. The constantly scorching light energy that was corroding his body was forcefully removed. The light energy struggled and howled, unresigned to leaving, as it wanted to completely destroy Xie He first… but it had no choice but to gradually leave his body.
Xie He’s body trembled in pain. When Joshua felt this, he tightened his hold on Xie He’s body, one hand on the back of the other’s head. He kissed the other forcefully, not allowing him to break free from his hold due to his pained flailing.
This process did not take long. However, by the time Joshua released Xie He, the latter’s body was drenched in cold sweat and his complexion was deathly pale. It looked like he had just experienced being skinned alive.
Joshua looked at him with a doting expression. He knew that the process was difficult to bear but he had no other choice. The previous God of Light had lived for a long time and was much stronger than he was. The light energy within the holy weapon was much more pure and condensed. Moreover, it was not completely under Joshua’s control. He could only slowly suck it out. However, when he thought of Xie He’s tolerance, he decided that they could only separate it into a few sessions and gradually suck it out. Otherwise, the other’s feeble body would instantly break down.
“It’s fine now. The pain will stop soon.” Joshua stroked Xie He’s back, comforting him with a soft voice.
Xie He’s head fell against Joshua’s chest, devoid of all strength. His blond hair stuck to his forehead because of the sweat. He parted his lips slightly. After some time, his gaze refocused and he slowly said, “I…why am I here…?”
Joshua said, “Saj asked me to save you. He brought you here.”
Xie He shut his eyes in anguish. Saj didn’t allow him to die, but living was a form of suffering to Xie He. His voice was hoarse, “My people…you promised that whether we succeeded or failed, you would do all you can to save them….”
Joshua muttered for a while and then said, “Do not worry. They are all doing well. Saj will not do anything to them.”
Xie He’s expression darkened. He knew that Saj wouldn’t do anything to them. Saj needed them to threaten him.
Joshua peered into his eyes with a gentle look, “Don’t think too much. As long as you are well, it’s enough. I will think of a way to save them, okay?”
Xie He stared at Joshua and then closed his eyes, looking tired.
In order to ensure that Xie He’s body would be able to sustain the removal of light energy, Joshua had used the shrine’s Great Spell of Resurrection.
The Church of Light’s resurrection spell was the strongest of the healing spells. It could bring a living creature back to life, whether they be human or of another race. It worked on both the light and dark factions. It could rebuild a dead man’s flesh and bones and instill life back into him. However, not just anyone could use it. Only those with the rank of bishop and higher could use it. Moreover, they would pay no small price with every use.
Meanwhile, the Great Spell of Resurrection was a legendary supreme spell that could only be used by the God of Light. It was even more potent than the Church’s spell. It was said to cause death to retreat and bring about the return of spring.
Actually, it wasn’t that outrageous. However, the efficacy could not be doubted. If it wasn’t because Joshua had become the new God of Light, he would not be able to use this spell. However, despite this, the usage of the Great Spell of Resurrection still took a lot out of him.
But Joshua had not hesitated. He had always resorted to using any and all methods to get what he wanted.
Xie He’s life to him was infinitely more important than whatever wear and tear the Great Spell of Resurrection had on him. He would not be stingy.
It was just that the state of Xie He’s body was worse than Joshua had anticipated. The Great Spell of Resurrection, that could even bring a dead man back to life, could not fully restore his body. The elf’s deteriorating body was like a funnel. Most of the spell’s effect slipped out. This meant that Joshua had to keep using it.
Xie He lived at the Church. Every few days, Joshua would suck out more of the remaining light energy in his body and use the Great Spell of Resurrection to heal the damage to his body.
The incessant use of the Great Spell of Resurrection had injured Joshua’s core, worsening his own injuries.
But Xie He’s body finally began to improve with each day.
Xie He had no idea how big a price Joshua had paid for him. But he did not resist or try to escape. He stayed at the Church quietly. He would occasionally leave the palace and aid the refugees or help others.
Elves were kindhearted beings that fervently loved nature and peace. Although Joshua’s actions had not been honourable, the lives of the people who were saved and their peace were real.
The people here were good, honest and openhearted. They made Xie He feel a sense of nostalgia and kinship.
Regardless of whether Darkness descended or not, light would never be extinguished. Humans were not completely ugly inside. It was just unfortunate that the much better lives they ought to be living had all been destroyed by two selfish gods.
That night, when Xie He returned to the Pope’s Palace, Joshua was waiting in his room. Joshua pulled Xie He over and kissed him.
Although Xie He had never gotten used to this sort of action, he knew that Joshua was only doing this to heal him, so he didn’t resist. He only clenched tightly to the other’s sleeve and waited for the pain to arrive. But this time…the excruciating pain didn’t come. It was just a soft, slightly cold kiss.
Xie He looked at Joshua, puzzled. Before he could react, he was pushed down onto the bed.
Joshua kissed him gently and said, “You’re already healed.”
Xie He stared at him blankly. Since he was fine, why did Joshua kiss him? He felt Joshua’s hand delve into his clothes, and instantly realized what Joshua wanted…. Xie He pushed Joshua away, looking at him guardedly. There was only estrangement and indifference in those emerald eyes.
A flicker of sadness flitted through Joshua’s eyes when Xie He pushed him away. The only thing that made him bear until now was the fear of hurting Xie He. And it was clear that Xie He didn’t want him.
“Saj has already given you to me. You can choose to return to the light. I can protect you and take care of you from now on…. Do you like the peace and serenity here?” Joshua said slowly, “You can stay here forever.”
Xie He didn’t hesitate and said, “Saj will not give me to you. He will come back for me.”
Joshua’s expression turned serious. Xie He didn’t believe that Saj would give him up. His trust towards Saj had already become instinct. This wasn’t the result of being forced…. Joshua peered deeply into Xie He’s eyes and suddenly said, “You’ve fallen in love with him, haven’t you?”
Xie He’s face paled. He would never love him. He just…
…Did not doubt the love and attachment Saj had for him.
Xie He said, “I don’t love him.”
Joshua caressed Xie He’s neck and said softly, “If he really hadn’t abandoned you, why would he hand you over to me? I will not return you to him. You should get that.”
Xie He looked at him and said, “He just wanted you to save me.”
Joshua stared into Xie He’s eyes. Those beautiful emerald eyes were clear and pure. He trusted Saj the way he had trusted in his pious faith towards the God of Light in the past.
As reality would have it, his god had abandoned him but Saj had not.
Joshua suddenly really regretted it. He regretted having released the God of Darkness. If he hadn’t let go of that fiend, the god would still be bitterly fighting the seal. How could he have been given a chance to steal his elf from him?
Moreover, he regretted not having realized his feelings earlier. Back then, Joshua had been obsessed with power. Although he was a representative of the Light, he had turned his nose up at the Light inwardly. He treated the Light as a product that could be sold. He did not treasure its beauty.
Now, he had become the new God of Light and finally understood what God must have felt when he created the elves. Because once someone has everything, they begin to miss what they had abandoned. They become obsessed with its absolute beauty. That’s why he had created such beautiful creatures and placed all his love into them.
Only love could fill the emptiness of his heart. It was the only thing in which one could invest one’s feelings during that long lifespan. It was the only thing that could prevent one from going mad from loneliness.
It felt as if his heart had always been missing a piece and only by having this could it be whole.
If he understood this earlier, he would never have been willing to hurt and betray him.
【Ding, Joshua’s Favourability Value +4. The current Favourability Value is 98.】
Joshua looked at Xie He and then kissed him again.
Xie He wanted to struggle but when he looked into Joshua’s eyes, he suddenly found himself unable to control his body. He couldn’t move and could only let Joshua kiss him. It made him feel loathing and indignation for the other.
Joshua could make out the fury in Xie He’s emerald eyes. He sighed quietly. He didn’t have the heart to force the other.
With a soft sigh, he let go of Xie He and walked away.
Joshua walked a far distance before he covered his mouth and coughed. He looked down and saw that he had coughed out blood. Pain finally emerged in his eyes. He was not as calm as he had acted. Regret, pain, jealousy—all kinds of emotions flooded his chest.
He had originally possessed the chance to become a God of Light which Xie He would be willing to worship. He could have once attained the elf’s love and faith in body and soul. But he had personally destroyed these possibilities.
All because of his nasty, selfish, dark heart.
The moment he obtained his power was also the moment he had lost his rights to love.
In the past, he had thought that he didn’t care. But reality proved otherwise. It was like a slow-acting poison. The pain of it eating away at his heart made him unable to sleep at night.
Xie He watched Joshua leave before slowly getting up from bed.
【Xie He:I both love and hate our Holy Son.】
【444:(⊙v⊙) Hm?】
【Xie He:He doesn’t have Saj-Saj’s voyeuristic tendencies which means that I can eat as much good food as I want. It’s just that he’s quite the faker. Although he wants me, putting on facades has become second nature to him. This means that we won’t be getting it on. Hehe.】
【444:……】
【444:Oh, Host dada, what do you want to eat tonight?】
【Xie He:Steak. I suddenly miss modern era food. ???? 】
【444:Mn. O(∩_∩)O~】
…………………………………………
Because there was no need for treatment anymore, Xie He began to avoid Joshua.
The flames of war continued to rage in the world outside. A never-ending stream of refugees flooded this place. The Church’s accommodations continued to expand. Because they lacked manpower, many citizens volunteered.
Xie He travelled through the crowd, his hood over his head. Because it was chaotic outside, no one paid him any attention. They casually assigned him some work.
Today, he was helping out in the same place. A child he had helped a few days ago came to find him. At that time, that child had nearly been trampled over because of the great number of people walking around. Xie He had done his best to protect him. He had thought this was nothing but a small episode. Who would have expected the child’s family to go through painstaking efforts to find him. They thanked him sincerely and invited him to their place for a meal.
Xie He declined. His identity made it inconvenient to get close to humans. But it still made his heart warm.
This was…the kind of humans he wanted to protect. They were the friends of the Elves.
At night, when Xie He came back, Joshua was standing at the gates of the palace, waiting for him so Xie He couldn’t escape. He looked at Xie He and said, “You really like it here, don’t you?”
Xie He studied Joshua. He knew that he had no way of persuading this person. In the end, he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “You only see the faith you can gain. Can you not see the suffering of the people who have been forced from their homes and left penniless? They had no reason to become refugees. They could have lived their whole lives in the comfort of their homes. You have stolen from them their peaceful, tranquil lives. You’ve made them lose their homelands and then given them pitiful alms. You’ve tricked them and deceived them while you yourself enjoy their gratitude and faith….
“What I like is not this place. What I like is their hearts that remain kind and open despite having undergone countless difficulties and setbacks. Moreover, this place can only cause me pain, reminding me constantly of your deeds, making me remember that underneath all this beauty, there is only ugliness.”
Xie He regarded Joshua coldly. “If this is what God wishes, I would rather this world have no gods.
“Everyone has the right to make their own choices. They should not become toys in the palm of your hands. They should not be sacrificed because of your selfishness…. Light does not need darkness! Your reasoning is nothing but an excuse to justify your own contemptible actions. You have never cared about the light. You’ve only ever cared about your own power.”
Xie He said, “Even without Saj, I would never love you, nor would I stay.”
Joshua’s face paled slightly. He had always had a glib tongue, but right now, as he stared into Xie He’s eyes, he suddenly couldn’t talk back.
Because it was the truth.
Xie He’s words made him unable to ignore it any longer.
Even if he trapped the elf, he would never obtain the other’s heart. This had nothing to do with anyone else. It was because of his own selfishness and coldheartedness.
Joshua’s voice sounded bitter. He looked at Xie He. “If I were your ideal God of Light, if that was the case, would you love me?”
There was longing in Xie He’s eyes. “If that was the case, I would love you.”
Joshua looked distracted. His lips moved, “Stay. I can become the kind of god you want…okay?”
Xie He’s expression changed slightly. In the end, he shook his head, determined, “You cannot.”
Even if you could act convincingly, you could never truly become it.
Joshua cast his eyes down, his hands clenching into fists. Suddenly, he wanted to be reckless, imprison the elf, force him, possess him, just as the God of Darkness had…. He didn’t want to care about anything else and just plunder everything. But when he thought about how that would only make Xie He look at him with greater animosity and disgust, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Because he loved Xie He, so he didn’t want to see the other pained or upset.
And he was the one who had done something wrong. Therefore, he should bear the consequences of that action.
The sun was only just setting but a sudden darkness washed over them. There were only the two of them in this space, as if the area around them had been cut away.
Saj slowly appeared, step by step approaching the two of them. He said, “I’ve come to take back my elf.”
The author has something to say:
Why are there so many ads on JJ. It’s hard to see the comments. QAQ
Eve: Why is there so much censoring on JJ. Hurts my heart when I find a novel I’m interested in and then I see a ton of locked chapters. QAQ
sere: this feels like the cultivation arc again but less angsty. Also big life lessons bro, Machiavellism is not good. The end does not justify the means.