Chapter 19: of Magic Growth: Waking Life

Something warm and smooth was touching my face. It felt nice and comfy. Really comfy.

"Mmm..."

A murmur could be heard from the soft something.

Mm? It's making... sounds? Wait...

Still half-asleep I opened my eyes. A small face entered my vision. Said small face had a slightly reddish cheek.

I stared for a while, then I rolled slightly to the side so that I faced the ceiling of the tent.

It was a soft cheek...

It was, indeed, a soft cheek. Soft and squishy to the point you wanted to rub your face on it for a long time. Such was the precious cheek next to me.

Let's pretend this never happened.

I turned my neck to the opposite side of the squishy cheek. Facing the person that lied on my other side.

I stared.

She stared back.

"... Good Morning."

"Good Morning, Yumi."

"..."

"..."

The soft breathing behind me was the only sound that accompanied our staring contest.

Nn. I can't pretend anymore, can I?

Unable to bear it anymore, I tried turning away, but my head was soon captured by small hands and forced back.

"Is... Is something the matter...?"

"No."

"Can you let me go?"

"No."

"..."

"Was it good?"

"Nn. It was."

"..."

"..."

I wished someone would save me. Speaking of which, there was one still missing. I cautiously took a look around, only to see someone at my feet, sleeping soundly.

My head was abruptly brought back into position and she held me by my own cheeks.

"..."

"..."

The awkward silence continued.

Until my cheeks were being squished.

"They are soft."

"..."

"It's unfair."

"Unfair?"

"I want to rub them too!"

And with those words, my head was pulled forwards and I could feel her cheeks rubbing against mine.

"Stop, wait. Emily!"

"I won't stop!"

True to her words, she didn't stop. She rubbed even more fiercely and my cheek slowly felt like it was burning. Only then did she stop.

"It's becoming hot," she complained and touched her own red cheek with her hand. Then she moved her hand to her other cheek that was still smooth and white. With a grin, she sat upwards.

"Yumi!"

"Nn? What... is it now?"

"I got an idea!"

"And that would be!"

"Watch!"

I was watching, alright. With energetic movements that belied the early morning time, Emily made her move. And mounted me.

"Emily? What are you doing?"

Slightly panicking I tried to free myself, but even though she was small, she still had the weight of a person. And I was certainly lacking the strength to free myself from that.

Emily bent forward, still smiling brightly.

"Emily, wait. That's not a good idea."

She ignored me splendidly, and once again grabbed me by my cheeks.

"Yumi!"

"Yes, Miss Emily? How may I help you?"

"Stop talking so weirdly!"

She squished my cheeks in protest.

"I'm sorry, so, could you please let me go?"

I tried asking nicely, her face barely a few centimetres away. I could feel my face slowly heating up.

"No. Otherwise, I can't do it!"

Do what?!

Without giving me any more mental preparation, she closed in the remaining distance.

And rubbed her other cheek onto my other cheek.

"This is nice! So squishy and soft!" she stated happily.

... Nn. I definitely have to get my mind out of the gutter. Yes, she's just a child. Let her rub me...

"Mmm... Emily...? Yumi...?"

Apparently Maya, who was lying to my feet, finally woke up as well.

"Maya. Help me."

"... What are you doing?"

Maya, with half-closed eyes, watched curiously how Emily rubbed her cheek onto mine while giggling like an idiot.

She watched with a lot of interest. A lot.

No, please don't join her!

Maya sat up sluggishly and then crawled to us.

"Oh! Maya! Come and join me, Yumi's cheek feels so good!"

"Mm..."

"No, Maya. Please stop her."

"Join!"

"Mmm..."

Apparently, Maya was torn between whether to join or whether not to join. Slowly swinging left and right she switched her gaze between Emily and me.

But in the end, she opted for an unexpected choice.

And just jumped at us both.

"Ah! Maya?!"

"Mmm... So warm..."

Maya swiftly closed her eyes again and was back on her way to dreamland. She might actually be bad with mornings. She just hugged us both and that was it. Probably.

"Ah... Now I can't rub Yumi's cheek anymore."

Emily looked slightly disheartened for a moment but went back to her always a bright smile and pulled Maya, and subsequently me as well, closer to her.

"Ehehe!"

"Emily, how can you be so full of energy already?"

"What do you mean? Why are you guys so sleepy?"

"... Because we just woke up?"

"But I'm not sleepy anymore. So why are you?"

"..."

That logic was just like her, somehow. But I didn't know the answer either.

"Anyway, I'm surprised Sele didn't wake up yet."

"She won't wake up from just this."

"Is that so?"

I craned my head around to look at Sele, who was lying on my other side. Her eyes closed and breathing quietly, she looked like the perfect example of a healthy sleeping girl. Her cheek was still a bit red though.

"She looks like she's sleeping peacefully."

"Sele is amazing, you know? She can sleep anywhere and at any time!"

"Huh, that sounds indeed amazing."

"It's nearly impossible to wake her up too!"

"That actually sounds troublesome."

"It's amazing!"

"Is it...?"

Rather doubtful I freed my arm and poked Sele. No reaction at all.

"Will she just wake up by herself then?"

"Probably not!"

"Eh..."

"If you don't wake her up she just continues sleeping!"

"But shouldn't she wake up sometime?"

"I haven't seen that happening yet, so I don't know. But she can easily sleep for an entire day!"

"That's really amazing..."

"Isn't it?!"

She seemed oddly proud of it. Not that I could tell what was there to be proud of.

"Then, how do you wake her up?"

"There's a few ways. The easiest one is stripping her naked!"

"Wha-"

"She'll be cold and wake up after some time."

That was cruel. I didn't want to imagine waking up naked and cold. Not to mention that being stripped naked wasn't good for my mental health. Regardless of who was the one being stripped right now.

"Then... What other methods are there?"

"Mm... Whispering in her ear about her favourite character in a book dying. She sometimes wakes up from that."

"... What else?"

"Tickling her. She usually just sleeps through that, though."

"Nothing else? Nothing a bit quieter and less... mean?"

"Mm... The only other one would be when she smells someone bleeding. She wakes up immediately from that. But cutting yourself hurts so I don't like it! And I don't want to see you hurt either! That's bad!"

This wasn't good. Why were all these options so cruel. Maybe I should have asked Maya instead, but she was still sleeping while holding onto us, so that wasn't an option. And I would feel bad to disturb her peaceful sleep.

I looked at Maya's sleeping face. Something was sticking out in her hair so I reached out to remove it.

Nn? It's stuck? No, what is this?

"Ah, Yumi! Don't pull that! Maya will be angry."

"Eh?"

I let go of whatever I was holding and stared at Emily, who just gazed back with a questioning expression.

"Emily, what was that?"

"What do you mean?"

"No, you just said I shouldn't pull it. What is it?"

"Oh! That! Her ear of course."

Of course! How didn't I think of that!

Questioning reality I looked back at Maya and the something in between her hair.

It had a slightly brighter colour than her hair, more of a dark blue than her otherwise black hair, and it definitely looked like a piece of fur stuck in her hair.

"Emily, I'm just asking this for confirmation, but that is her ear?"

"Yes, it is? Why do you... Oh! We didn't tell you!"

No, you certainly didn't.

Emily removed her arm that was hugging Maya and reached to the side of her head, where her ears should be. She fumbled around a bit until I could hear a quiet clicking sound. Emily then removed her hand from her hair.

Something sprang out. Long and drooping.

"... Can I nibble that?"

"No, you can't!"

Her long ear slightly quivered when she said that.

"But I kind of want to nibble on it."

"Why do you want to nibble on my ear?!"

"... I don't know?"

"I don't want you to nibble on them. It's not proper! You can only do that with the one you love!"

Emily was nearly shouting, beet red and obviously a bit embarrassed. Was nibbling on her ears maybe a form of flirting or so?

"Can I touch it then?"

"Mm... Touching is fine."

She presented her ear to me and I slowly reached out. It twitched every time she spoke but it still twitched occasionally even if she didn't. It was a bit mesmerising.

I cautiously touched her ear. It was a bit stiff but also soft.

"Mmm!"

I checked on Emily's expression while I fiddled with her ear. It didn't take long before her expression turned quite sloppy as if she was experiencing bliss. Did it feel good having her ears rubbed?

"Nn? There's a red mark?"

"Mh? Oh, that's probably from the clip!"

"Clip?"

"Clip! Maya and I use clips to hide our ears in our hair. It's uncomfortable but it would be bad if the people here find out, so Uncle told us to hide them with clips. I don't like it, but Uncle said we can maybe take them off later today. I hope so!"

That really didn't sound comfortable. In fact, I was surprised she didn't complain more or started throwing a tantrum.

Emily took what apparently was the clip and fiddled with her ear again. After another quiet clicking sound, her ear was once again gone from sight.

"But the nice part is that we can keep our hair long thanks to it! Otherwise, Uncle wouldn't allow us because it takes too much care and only gets in the way! So I'm still a bit happy about it!"

She smiled happily. No matter where it seemed quite a few girls still liked to keep their hair long. I did agree it was nice, so I was quite happy about it too. Cute girls were always a nice sight for the eyes.

"Nn? But, what about Sele? She has the longest hair among you three, right?"

"Sele is... I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Don't know! She always had it like that. Maybe she did tell us before?"

I wondered why Sele would keep her hair that long then, but for now, I had a more pressing matter to inquire about.

"So, Emily..."

"Yes?"

"Are you... an elf?"

"Mh... I don't know?"

"... What?"

"I don't know!"

Her answer stayed the same and the smile that was still stuck on her face certainly didn't fit.

"I think the magician uncle... Uhhh... I don't remember his name... He said something about elves or so. But it was so much so I just left!"

"..."

Without any care, she apparently dismissed even her own race.

"But, don't you want to know?"

"Mh? Why? It doesn't change anything, does it?"

She cocked her head to the side.

I was truly dumbstruck at that innocent answer. Because she was kind of right. It didn't really change anything.

"That's... right. Emily stays Emily. But still, aren't you at least curious?"

"I am, but that magician uncle talks so weirdly. My head hurts when I listen to him."

Emily motioned with her free arm towards her head and put up a painful expression. It looked so precious so I couldn't prevent a burst of small laughter from escaping me.

"Hey, Yumi?"

"Nn?"

"I wondered for a bit as well, but what race are you? Sele said you are not a demonkin? But Maya said you aren't a human. But you look like a human? Your ears are like a human's and you have no tail. You also have no claws or fangs. But Maya's nose is good, so you can't be a human!"

"Well..."

How should I answer here? Should I just tell them the truth? Korwen already knew anyway and I wondered who else already found out. They might find out sooner or later without me telling them, so it might be better if they heard it from me instead.

I took a deep breath.

"Ah! Wait!"

And was promptly stopped. I wanted my mental preparation back...

"Maya and Sele should hear it too, right? And Maya can tell you about herself then!"

"Well, you're not wrong about that, I guess."

Yeah, just telling Emily now would just mean I would have to tell them twice anyway.

I smiled wryly.

With surprising momentum, Emily heaved herself and Maya up.

"Maya! Maya! Wake up!"

And vigorously shook her new victim. Without mercy. Maya's head was bobbing back and forwards and her expression quickly turned sour.

"Uhh... Stop... Stop that...! Emily, stop!"

Forced awake, Maya grabbed Emily by the shoulders. Her expression was slightly miserable.

"Why do you have to wake up people like this every time?"

"Because it works? You're awake now!"

Maya groaned, obviously giving up. Clearly, it wasn't the first time she complained to Emily.

"Now, only Sele needs to wake up!"

Since I was freed as well from Maya I moved quickly to the side and was replaced by Emily. Then, Emily quickly began taking off Sele's clothes.

"Wait! Emily, you can't just strip her."

"Huh? But she has to wake up, right?"

"Nn. But can't you at least try waking her up normally."

"But it won't work!"

"Yumi, it really doesn't work. Sele is impossible to wake up otherwise," explained Maya with a tired a voice.

Don't you feel sorry for stripping her naked every day, though?!

That means there was only one thing I could do. They were still girls and therefore I should at least show some common courtesy.

"... I will wait outside."

"Huh? Yumi, why?"

Emily cocked her head to the side again.

"... For my mental health."

I stood up and went out of the tent.

Speaking of which, how did I even get into the tent? 

The sun was up high already and the camp was quite busy. We must have slept for the better part of the morning, but considering how exhausted we were it was hardly surprising. I could still hear Emily's and Maya's voices from behind me but I decided it was better to just ignore it.

Mh... What do I do now, though? It seems we slept rather long. Guess there was no need to wake us up.

I took a look around and noticed something strange. Many of the people walking around were carrying boxes, crates, barrels or baskets around. It looked like they were tidying things up. Or packing stuff.

I decided I should look for either Karen and Lily or Korwen. After asking a passing mercenary I obtained information that Korwen was at the main tent so I headed there for now. Though I had to stop the mercenary again to ask for directions as I didn't know where the heck I even was.

This camp is way too big. Is this really necessary for 800 people? Well, it probably is...

After a short walk, I found the tent and entered. Inside I was greeted with Korwen, who looked veritably exhausted, as well as Lily.

"Oh, the sleeping princess is awake. Good Morning," Korwen said with a sarcastic tone.

"Nn. Morning."

He stopped writing on the documents that laid before him and stretched his arms.

"Morning, Yumi!"

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"Good Morning, Lily. Where's Sis?"

"Karen is... probably at the infirmary tent. The other girls we rescued woke up, but Miria is still sleeping. She's worried, I think."

"The others are awake?"

"Yes, they woke up not too long ago. Pretty much at a normal time. Maybe their inner clock was at work there."

"Mh..."

That those girls woke up was good news, even if Miria wasn't included.

"The magician Ria already examined them and determined they are in good health. There won't be any lasting effects from the mana crystals."

"Nn... That's good news... Wait, mana crystals?"

I stopped at those words. I know I tried to treat Miria because of that, but I didn't do anything for them. At Lily's confused look I explained that briefly.

"Ah, well, you see. In Miria's case, her crystal couldn't be removed anymore without endangering her life, so your treatment was definitely necessary. The other girls weren't in such a bad situation so Ria could remove those crystals."

"Nn... That's good news, I guess."

"Yeah, but it still makes me wonder... Hey, Yumi, what is a mana crystal?"

"I wish I knew myself. Why are you asking?"

That was a rather random question from Lily. But really, I wanted to know it too.

"You see, they are the core of a monster, right? But why do the monsters die when it gets broken? And why are monsters able to heal from fatal wounds? A person can die even from remarkably minor wounds if they aren't treated. But for strong monsters, they won't die even if you pierce their hearts."

"Nn... That's a good question..."

"You might be able to ask that question once we are in Lafria," interjected Korwen suddenly.

Lily furrowed her brows and turned towards Korwen.

"Do you mean the academy?"

"Yes. Our band has a contract with them, so you might have a chance to ask a scholar there. But if I remember right, that topic is rather wildly discussed even there. You might not get a definite answer to it."

"The academy? What is this about?"

This was the first I heard about an academy so I couldn't help but ask the question.

"Lafria Kingdom has a large academy. It is currently considered one of the foremost academic locations. They are an eccentric bunch but they have a lot of interesting knowledge. Our three idiot magicians are graduates from there as well. But they don't only study magic research. They cover a multitude of topics from magic theory over natural laws to studies on animals and monsters."

So it was like that. A place for academic pursuit, huh. Muttering "That reminds me," Korwen stood up and walked towards a small bag behind him. He picked it up and then took something out. The pistol. The one that I had practised with before.

"The academy's research made this little thing possible in the first place."

"Ah! Korwen, I have to return those!"

Lily suddenly remembered important things.

"You borrowed these?"

Korwen's eyebrow was raised ever so slightly.

"Yes. From Lune."

"Lune? Lune... Lune... Oh! Luneria, that orphanage girl."

Korwen seemed to know her as well. But why did everyone mention an orphanage when her name came up?

"Well, I'll get someone to return them to her. We still have a few people running around doing errands and everything, adding one minor errand won't change anything."

"Is the crossbow also in that bag?"

"Yes, it is."

"Then good."

Lily nodded with a serious expression. But the crossbow was there? I completely forgot about its existence so I was surprised it was back here.

I hope they don't think I am scatterbrained because of things like this. Oh well, let's just pretend I knew all along in case they ask.

"In any case, go to the academy for your questions. For now, we still have to deal with this so, though."

Korwen concluded the topic and returned to working on the documents.

"Really, it became such a mess. Curse the stupid church, and the stupid emperor. And the retarded lord!"

It felt like I could see a dangerous glint in his eyes as he cursed. Maybe it was better to just keep quiet. But, alas, my curiosity couldn't be stopped.

"What happened?"

"We're being scammed! That is happening! The retarded lord was found. Dead. In the stupid hideout. Wenners and Krutz found him in the hideout of those thuggish bastards. They guess he tried to activate a large-scale ritual but lost control and died. At least we know that the failed ritual caused the quakes and destroyed the immediate surroundings, so that is one worry less."

He threw his arms up in the air.

"Now, no matter what, the lord is dead. That's a problem. A big one. Who is going to take responsibility now? The imperials want a scapegoat. The church is a bad option. The lord is dead. Who do they blame now? Us? It's not unlikely they'll try that. In fact, I'm sure of it. It's only good for them. Whose word weighs more, mine or the emperors? Most people won't even question it. They'll send the army on us. Now, they haven't mobilised them yet. It takes time, after all."

"Wait a second, they try to blame you? But why?"

They were the ones who put a stop to this. The slums will become a slightly better place to live in and who knew what influence it had for the city. Though, the lord being dead was an issue.

"Oh, there's many reasons. They have the option of either rewarding us for our efforts in an attempt to keep us quiet or get rid of us. If the lord was alive they could blame him and celebrate us as heroes who put a stop to his machinations. That would be a better outcome for all of us. They might lose a bit of their treasury on the rewards, but the people will be happy. And happy people are easier to exploit and less likely to revolt."

But that option was gone now. I understood his worries. A sigh escaped Korwen.

"In any case, they will probably send an envoy. They will be stalling for time so they can mobilise the army and get rid of us. I don't want to deal with this shit anymore. That's why I hate dealing with the ruling class."

He returned his attention to the documents. He looked even more exhausted now after he vented. I spied a strained smile on Lily from the corner of my eye.

"Anyway, we'll be leaving today. We'll leave as soon as the envoy leaves. If no envoy comes, we'll leave either way. If you still have business here, resolve it quickly. And now... Let me deal with this. I have to get this done. Ahh... I just want some sleep. I am not being paid for this."

Another sigh escaped him. Then, Lily walked to my side and leaned over a bit.

"Let's leave him alone for a bit. He stayed up the entire night," she whispered quietly.

With a nod, I followed her outside.

Lily stretched her arms and yawned.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Mh? A bit. I'm used to staying awake for night watch so it doesn't bother me as much. I still wouldn't want to deal with documents at a time like this now."

"Huh..."

"Well, but let's get to Karen. That magician girl said Miria is likely to wake up today, who knows. Maybe she already is awake."

"Awake, huh..."

On one hand, I would be happy for Karen. But on the other hand, I would most likely be a bit sad that I couldn't monopolise her anymore. It was a conflicting feeling.

In the distance, we could already see the infirmary tent. It definitely looked like a busy place, with many people gathering in front of it, entering or leaving.

Without a warning, a scream echoed through the camp. Coming straight from the infirmary tent. Everyone in the surroundings looked bewildered.

With a dash Lily left me behind and ran to the tent, disappearing within. I hurried after her, storming into the tent. I was fearing the worst.

And I was left speechless.

"Waaaaahhh! I am so reliiiieeeeved!"

A sobbing Karen was in front of us, hugging a girl nearly a head shorter than herself. The girl in question was clearly confused and her grey eyes darted around the room, trying to make sense of the situation. Unfortunately for her, Karen was in no state to notice that as she bawled like a little child.

"Geez, scaring us like that... We got some bad timing, right, Yumi?"

"Nn."

Despite her complaint, she was grinning. I was sure there was a smile on my face as well, right now.

"Ah, Karen. You're completely confusing the poor girl, calm down."

Lily approached the two sisters and tried to pry Karen away from the confused girl. It took some effort but she eventually managed to get her off. Though she quickly tried to reattach herself so Lily had to hold her down.

"Karen, calm down, she's not going anywhere."

The girl watched Lily and Karen with curious eyes. Then, her eyes wandered towards me, who stood close-by. I returned a small smile.

"Ah... Yumi, help me, she's not calming down."

"Even if you ask me... I have no idea what would calm her down. So... hang in there?"

"You're cruel!"

"I believe in you."

"Help me! Ah! Karen, stop. Wait! You're getting snot on my clothes. Stop that!"

I decided to leave those two alone. It was better to not get involved.

With that said, I turned towards the girl.

"You're Miria, right? I'm Yumi, nice to meet you."

"..."

She stared at me. It took a few seconds until her expression changed, indicating she heard what I said.

"Eh? Eh? Ehm... Nice to... meet you. I'm Rina... Rina Zirzenna"

She bowed her head. Her voice was small but clear. Like a bell.

Mh? Wait a second.

"Rina? Not Miria?"

"Uhm... Miria... is a childhood name."

"Eh?"

Weren't childhood names usually some shortened version of their actual names? But those two had absolutely nothing in common?

"So... Should I call you Rina or Miria?"

"If possible... I'd prefer Rina."

Oh no, this was going to be confusing, wasn't it?

I looked over to Lily and Karen. The latter was still bawling and sobbing, calling Miria in-between every sob. I was a bit shocked by this behaviour.

Lily looked over for a short moment, her eyes begging for help.

Ignore it.

"Then, Rina is it. Still, if some people call you Rina and Sis calls you Miria, it'll be confusing."

"Ah..."

Realising what I meant she looked over to Karen. Somehow, her expression turned a bit sour.

"If she doesn't stop calling me that, I just won't talk to her."

"No wait, Sis will die if you do that."

This made me wonder... Karen really adored her, but my first impression was, that the love went only one way.

"But it's embarrassing, being called by your childhood name after you turn into an adult..."

She pouted. For someone who was in such a dire situation just a short while ago, and in captivity for such a long time, she was surprisingly in a good state. If I hadn't known, I would've never guessed that she was just rescued.

"But you... call her Sis?"

"Ah."

She regarded me with a slightly suspicious stare.

"So I got a new little sister!"

Which changed quickly to a cheerful one. She didn't care about the details, apparently.

"Well then..."

And then she removed the blanket and stood up. She was nearly a head taller than me, with long hair past her shoulders that clearly hadn't seen care in a long time and lively grey eyes.

"Where am I anyway? I remember being in the cell and then there was a commotion... That's all I remember."

"Ah, you were rescued with the other girls... No, wait, why are you getting up. Are you fine with that? Shouldn't you lie down for now?"

"Eh...? But I feel fine? Actually... I feel full of energy. I haven't felt like this in a long time!"

She raised her arms and struck a pose. This definitely wasn't the behaviour of a patient.

"Ah, Karen! Stop! Woah!"

At that moment Lily finally failed to hold Karen back and she jumped at Rina, hugging her.

"Big Sis, stop! You're getting all dirty from me. Let me wash myself first."

How considerate.

"But! I'm so relieved! Finally, Miria is back."

"I already said, stop calling me that. It's my childhood name! And Rina is way cuter, so call me that!"

"But!"

Maybe I should leave them be. She seemed fine, so we probably could leave her alone with Karen until she calmed down. I felt a bit sorry for dumping that problem on a patient, but I got the impression she would be fine. Just like Karen, she seemed to be a strong girl.

I looked at Lily who was down on the ground.

"Good work. You tried your best."

"Yumi... You have no idea... Fighting a horde of ogres would be easier."

"My condolences."

I helped her get up and we left the tent. Rina tried to deal with Karen in a stern manner. Usually, Karen was always so dependable but the view made us question who was the older sister there.

"Still, a Zirzenna, huh," murmured Lily.

"Mh? Her last name? What's up with it?"

"It's the name of a lower ranking noble family in the demonkin country, Aldreigh Kingdom. They apparently have quite the history."

"A noble family? So Karen and Rina are nobles?"

"Well, they were exiled, right? So technically not anymore. Actually, she could get into trouble if she carelessly uses her last name."

"Mh... That doesn't sound good."

"It isn't... But... It will work out. The more immediate problem though... I heard of the demonkin custom with their childhood names, but that's going to be a pain..."

"The childhood name? It's a custom?"

I tilted my head a bit. That was an interesting custom to have. Notwithstanding how confusing it had to be.

"Yes. In demonkin families, the children are called by childhood names until they turn into adults. Childhood names and nicknames aren't exactly uncommon in many countries, but for the demonkin, they signify the change between adult and child. Demonkin stop ageing at one point and that's also the time they stop using their childhood name. I'm sure Karen will understand that, though. With time."

"Mh... You're quite knowledgable about this."

"Hey, the Black Guards travelled quite a lot, and the Aldreigh Kingdom is actually not that far away from here. Of course, I know such a thing."

Lily protested at my comment. I giggled a bit.

"Speaking of the Black Guards, what happened to them?"

"Ah... Korwen reached out to them... He offered that they join as well, but they refused, saying they wouldn't be of any use and that they wanted to end the Black Guards with their generation. They still came over to discuss some things like compensation, though."

"Huh... They came over..."

"They did."

"And you aren't there?"

She averted her gaze.

"Lily."

"Yes? Eh, why are you making such a scary face?"

"Are you sure you shouldn't be there?"

"It's fine, they don't need to see me."

This idiot girl. Yesterday she was crying herself and now she pretended to be tough about it as if it never happened. She would surely regret it like that.

"Lily, let's go there. Now."

"Wait, Yumi, there's no need for that!"

"There is. Do you just want to leave like that? They are the ones who raised you right?"

"That has nothing to do with it!"

"It has enough to do with it. Won't you regret it, not saying a proper farewell?"

"Geez, let me be. It's not like you know anything about that!"

I didn't know anything, she said.

Suddenly, Lily made a complicated face.

"You're right, it's not like I know anything. I don't even remember anyone after all."

"..."

"I just suddenly nearly died and was thrown into an unknown place with half my memories missing. There's no way I could know anything about it, right?!"

"Yumi! I..."

Lily stuttered, her expression miserable. She looked ready to cry at any moment.

"I'm... sorry..."

Only then did I notice that my face was hot and wet. The one with tears running down their face was me.

Ahh... I let my emotions get the better of me...

Quickly realising what happened I wiped my face with the back of my hand and pulled Lily's hand.

"We're going to them. Right now."

"... I understand."

I tried not to think much about it, about how it was before I came here. Did I have a family? Did I have friends? Maybe even a lover? When I tried to remember I felt like I could see vague faces. A small table with me and a few others sitting around it. But that was it. I couldn't remember the faces, the voices, nothing else.

Unknowingly, I avoided thinking about it after the first few days. Not to mention I was too busy to find food in those days with Karen. I had no liberty to think about it. So when Lily refused to say goodbye, it made me angry. I never had that chance, after all. And it made me sad. Because I remembered, that I never had the chance.

If one asked whether I wanted to return, I could only say 'I don't know'. But if I was asked whether I wanted to say goodbye then it would definitely be a 'Yes'.

I had changed a lot. And I found new friends, even someone I could call family. I would want to tell them 'I'm fine, don't worry'. But I couldn't. Maybe I would find a way in the future. Maybe I never would.

I didn't die that day, and instead, I am now here. Different and changed. Half-assed, half my memories missing.

I could feel again how tears gathered in my eyes so I quickly wiped them away with my free hand. I couldn't change the past. But I could change the present and the future. And at the very least, I didn't want to leave Lily with that kind of regret.

And so, I pulled her halfway through the camp, occasionally asking for directions from some passing soldiers. They looked oddly scared when I asked but they all willingly told me where to go.

"Yumi... I understand already, can you let go of my hand?"

"No."

"Uhh..."

In the distance, I could make out some black silhouettes. We went the right way at least. The closer we got, the more sweaty Lily's hand became and it was clear from her fidgeting that she wanted to back away. I didn't allow her though, and pulled her along, until we were nearly right in front of them.

A few of the Black Guards turned around in surprise when we appeared, none of them saying anything. I walked behind Lily and pushed her forward.

"Go now."

Without waiting for a reply I walked away some distance. After I was far enough away I looked back. I could see Lily acting a bit awkward there, but it was clear those old men weren't bothered by it. After a few seconds she was surrounded by them and I could hear their laughter from where I was.

I felt a bit jealous at the sight.

Maybe I should go look for Emily and the others. Ah, but they might be angry that I just left earlier...

Playing with them would surely uplift my mood right now, but they might be sulky since I just left them behind. I had to apologise. I wasn't any better, was I?

"Good work there, Yumi."

Suddenly, someone called out to me. Turning around I found Merim and Wanda.

"Oh. Merim, Wanda."

"Kid, you look like you're out to murder someone. You'll scare everyone away."

"Is that so."

"Not quite in the mood in the talk, are we?"

"I'm sorry, but not right now..."

She gave me a strained smile and pulled something out from somewhere. It was a bottle.

"Want to join us? We wanted to get at least a small celebration going, and some alcohol may do you some good after that outburst."

"... You saw?"

"Yeah. Well, I won't blame you. It's Lily's fault, honestly. A walking disaster is not exactly the most sensitive one."

"... I guess I'll take you up on that, then."

"Great, then let's go."

Around half an hour later.

"I was a bit worried, but you sure can hold your liquor, girly."

The middle-aged man sitting opposite of me commented astounded. I wasn't the biggest fan of alcohol but I kind of liked the sweet taste of the liquor Wanda brought along. It still burned in the throat but that was maybe good as well. It served as a good distraction.

I could feel how I became a bit light-headed. The people around were mostly soldiers that were fighting in the night. Some of them didn't even get any sleep at all and most others only slept only shortly, but they still had enough energy to swing their jugs filled with some alcoholic beverage.

One might think you'd celebrate in the evening, but they told me that there wouldn't be a chance for that today. Everyone was packing and we would likely travel through the night. Maybe even for a few days. They mostly used tamed monsters and animals to pull the carriages and supply wagons. Most of them would be fine even if they worked throughout the entire day. I was astonished hearing that.

I was also surprised hearing that there were tamed monsters in the camp. Apparently one didn't need to be a magician to tame some monsters and a few were used as pack animals. They were popular for their high stamina and strength, but expensive.

"Here, have some more."

Merim gave me a refill, seeing that my small mug was empty. Considerate as they were, I got a small mug instead of the huge jugs they were swinging. I probably would have trouble holding that one, as it was heavy, especially when filled to the brim. Since I also drunk a bit less than them it was quite fine with me, though.

"Thank you, but I think I'm done after this one."

"That so? You still drunk quite a lot, though."

"Nn. I already feel light-headed..."

"Don't collapse, I won't be hearing the end of it from the captain if you do."

"It'll be fine."

"That's what they all say."

I was still pretty fine. Really. I did feel a bit wobbly but nothing more. I took another sip.

"Was it even okay to give me alcohol in the first place?"

"It's fine, kid. It's not like you're an actual kid anyway, right?"

Wanda winked at me from my side.

"Nn... Speaking of which, what will you do after this, Wanda?"

"Me? Well, I, unfortunately, didn't get any supplies back from our visit to that hideout... Korwen offered for me to join as well, so I decided to tag along. At least until Lafria. I'm still just a humble seamstress, after all," she declared.

Contrary to those words some soldiers stiffened and threw doubtful glances at her. I should ask Merim or someone else why everyone was so cautious of Wanda. Or rather, so scared.

"At any rate, I won't be leaving you guys yet, no worries about that. I also want to make sure the girly is in good hands."

"Hm. I guess that's nice to hear."

I smiled. So Wanda was going to come along.

"Is it fine to leave so suddenly, though? And don't you have things to pack?"

"Ah, I told Korwen to send some people to get my stuff over. There's not much anyway. Only really my small clothing collection and my working tools."

She grinned.

"So don't worry, I still have a few cute clothes for you to try out!"

Oh no, please spare me...

Rinne

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