Taboo Journal

Chapter 21: of Soul Expansion: Begin of a Journey


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"Yumi, save me!"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you there..."

Lily, our resident disaster, was begging for my support.

"Lily, this is your punishment. Deceiving us was no good."

"I'm sorry, I already said I'm sorry, so please, let me go..."

"No."

I glanced behind me and watched the little spectacle. Lily was firmly grasped by Karen and Rina and they were thoroughly enjoying her fluffy ears and tail. It made a bit jealous and I wanted to join if I was honest.

"Ahh, so smooth... I could play with them all day..."

"Please, don't... They'll feel sore if you do that."

A sigh escaped me when I thought about how I wanted to join.

"Yumi, you stopped..."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Here, better?"

"Mmm! Better."

I pet the fluffy head on my lap. Quickly after my return, I was captured by Maya and Emily. They dragged me around to play with them and also to talk. Just as expected, Maya was a beastkin girl. Emily's actual race was still a mystery. Maya didn't know either. Apparently, I really had to ask one of the magician trio later.

Now, after that was cleared up Maya demanded that I listen to one demand from them to make up for running away earlier. Emily wanted to take a bath with us but unfortunately for her, they had already packed up the tent and the facilities. I still had to promise her that we'd all take one together as soon as we had the chance. Maya wanted me to spoil her rotten. She reminded me a little bit of a cat with the way she assertively occupied my lap and demanded petting.

I had been doing that easily for an hour already by the time Karen, Rina and Lily came over. Lily looked exhausted but also a bit happy. Her eyes were red and it was clear that she had cried quite a bit. Her wide smile told me all I needed to know though. She had succeeded.

Well, a father is naturally weak against his daughter's tears, isn't he... I am still a bit surprised that it really worked.

When I thought about it, that had been quite the questionable advice I had given her. Maybe the alcohol had affected me more than I expected but I really thought it was the best method at the time.

Fortunately, it worked all out. The end justifies the means, was it?

Anyway, those three had been looking for me. Apparently the last preparations to set off were being made and we should move to one of the wagons. Yes, wagons. There were several dozens of large wagons made of metal and wood pulled by ox-like creatures. Each wagon was adorned with the emblem of the mercenary band, a Dragon fighting against several mercenaries. Most of these wagons would contain supplies but a few were used for everyone who was unlikely to be able to march the entire day. And fortunately, they had included us in that group. Technically Lily should have been fine with walking but nobody said anything.

We were led to one wagon where we found Sele already waiting for us. She was carrying a small bag on her shoulder that was filled to the brim. According to Maya and Emily, they had collected all their belongings prior and stowed them into a small crate. That crate would be carried along with the supplies. Neither I nor Karen and Rina had any belongings that we weren't already carrying so we didn't know about that. Lily apparently had quite a few things that were in the care of the Black Guards though.

Speaking of belongings, I tried to return Lily's pendant but when Karen heard that it was the magic item that was used to hide her appearance, she swiftly confiscated it. Lily argued that Karen didn't talk about her being a demonkin either. I thought we had told her but apparently hadn't done so. Of course, that caught Karen a bit off-guard, but she was so fixated on the fluffy ears in front of her that she didn't want to give in.

"Yumi... More..."

"Nn, is here good?"

"Yeeeessss..."

I scratched Maya behind her ears. It was amusing how pleased she was with that. If she started purring now, it would be perfect. In the meantime Emily had occupied my right side and was sleeping peacefully, using my shoulder as a pillow. She was so energetic but without anything to do, she fell asleep really quickly. Her breathing sounds were calming.

My left side was occupied by Sele. She wasn't using me to sleep but she leaned on me with her back and was reading a book. The small bag she was carrying revealed a dozen or so books. Clearly, she knew how to kill time on her own.

Being restrained from three sides and having my freedom of movement stolen, all I could do was watching Lily being fluffed. Well, I had my own fluffy girl right here, but I kind of wanted to play with Lily too. Or, even better, play with both of them at once.

"Yumi! I can't go on anymore."

Lily was pleading for help. But what did she expect me to do now?

"Lily... Give it up. I can't help you either."

"No way..."

I sighed. Maybe I should at least attempt it.

"Sis, didn't you play with her enough for now?"

"No, I didn't. I mean, aren't you angry?"

"Not really? I think it is unreasonable of us to expect that she tells us her secrets after barely a day."

"Uhh... You're not wrong, but I still can't accept it."

I turned to Rina and tried to at least get her on my side.

"Rina, how about you?"

"Me? Whether I'm angry? I don't even really know what this is about, but I like her tail!"

Ah, this girl was no good. She didn't even think about it. She just wanted to play with Lily's tail.

Speaking of tails, Lily's tail was quite fluffy while Maya's resembled more a cat's. Then there was also Karen's own tail. That reminded me.

"Rina... Do you also have a tail?"

"Me? I do."

She fiddled with the clothes she was wearing and a black long tail appeared, looking basically the same as Karen's. Long, black with an inverted heart at the end and a silver tip.

"Mh... There's a lot of tails here."

Four girls with tails. Emily and Sele didn't seem to have any, but I didn't notice it with any of them, so for all I knew they could have one too. Was this some kind of Tail Association? I nearly felt jealous.

"On a more serious topic, what is Lafria Kingdom like?"

I turned to Lily who was still being sexually harassed. Unfortunately, she was too busy to listen to my question.

Wait, Rina? Where is your hand going there?

"Hya?!"

Maybe her curiosity got the better of her but she tried to put her hands into Lily's clothes. It caused Lily to make a cute shriek.

"Rina, we have children here, you should stop there."

"Oh, sorry, Big Sis. I'll stop for now."

Karen quickly put a stop to Rina's questionable advances. But she said 'for now'. That meant she would do it some other time.

Sensing her chance Lily escaped Karen's and Rina's grasps and scurried over to me.

"Finally..."

"You did your best there."

"You could've helped me..."

"And how was I supposed to do that? I can't move from here and I did try to persuade them."

I looked down on Maya. We still hadn't continued our talk from this morning, but there were quite a few people around and I didn't want them all to listen to it. We were currently in the wagon with the seven of us and a few other women, most notably Ria and Korwen's wife. I didn't recognize any of the others. There wasn't much space inside but it was still comfortable enough. The ride was surprisingly smooth as well, which surprised me a bit.

"Back to my question, what is Lafria Kingdom like?"

"Lafria Kingdom, huh..."

Karen and Rina, hopefully satisfied, sat down next to us, looking towards Lily. They probably were curious as well.

"It's a rather big country, primarily inhabited by beastkin. They have a kind of monarchy. There's the King at the top and below that the aristocracy. But there's also a council made up by the common folk that can decide on various matters. When I visited with the Black Guards it was a really open country. Their culture has a lot of festivals and celebrations. They are also really open towards other races so you see everything from demonkin, humans and beastkins to fairies and gnomes. That does cause plenty of trouble, of course, but you don't have to hide just because you aren't a human. And public safety is actually quite good despite that."

"Huh... Sounds nice."

"It is at least better than this shithole. But I think most countries are better than this one."

"Well..."

I didn't see much outside of the slums here so I couldn't really judge it. But based on what I heard it wasn't really a pleasant place to live at. Even if you were a human.

"What stands out the most in the Lafria Kingdom are the Academy and the Military School, I guess. They are pretty famous. You already heard of the Academy from Korwen."

"I did, but Military School?"

"Yes, it's a large training facility for the army. They often do exhibitions and public exercises, so they get quite the exposure to the public. Every time the Academy invents something they are also the ones to conduct field tests. Those are often public as well, so many people come to watch. When we visited they tried to test a large cannon, basically a bigger version of the pistol. When they tried to fire it, though, it exploded and caused a huge commotion. Nobody got injured but still. I was quite small at the time so I was really scared."

A scared Little Lily. I wanted to see that.

"I want to see that," said Rina.

"Well, it's likely we can watch some of their exercises if we ask Korwen I'm sure he'll let us go."

"Ohh! Then I can watch a scared Lily!"

"So that's what you wanted to see?! I'm not scared that easily anymore!"

"Ehh... But I'm sure it'll be cute. Just like earlier!"

I could understand that feeling. I wanted to see that too.

Wait, earlier?

"What do you mean with earlier."

"Ah, Yumi, you see..."

"Don't tell her!"

Karen tried to explain but Lily immediately put a stop to it.

"Ehh, but it was really cute."

"Don't. Tell. Her."

"She will find out anyway. Half the camp saw it. Do you want her to hear it from others or from us?"

"That is..."

Maybe it caught their curiosity but Maya and Sele turned towards Lily as well.

"You see, Little Sis, she went to her papa and cried in front of everyone when he said he would leave her here and go away. It made me feel really sorry for her. But it was so cute. I want to keep her!"

Damn, and I missed that. I wanted to see it too!

But was Rina really referring to me as 'Little Sis' now? Well, it was fine, maybe?

"Uhh... Forget you saw that! Forget it!"

"I don't think I can. After that scary lady persuaded her papa and he agreed to come along, she was so happy. She jumped at him and shouted 'Papa, I love you!' without any regard for her surroundings. It was so adorable!"

"Forget it! Especially that! Forget it!"

"No way!"

Those two got along well, didn't they? Karen smiled at the two, who were now grappling each other. Was Lily trying to make her forget forcefully?

"Rina seems quite fine,"  I whispered towards Karen.

"Yes, thanks to you and Lily. I was sure she'd be a lot worse off. I am really happy. But, in between, I can see she's still a bit scared."

"I would be surprised if not. I guess we shouldn't leave her alone."

"I agree. Thank you, Yumi."

"You've thanked me more than enough already."

"No matter how often I do, it will never be enough."

"You are way too serious about this, Sis... Let's leave it at that, okay?"

"... I understand. I'll leave it at that for now."

"More importantly..."

"Yes?"

"I promised Lily that we'd all sleep together tonight."

I told her about the promise I had made earlier with Lily. When I said that, someone else pulled on me, though.

"But Yumi! What about us?"

Maya, who had stayed silent until now enjoying my petting, complained and Sele next to me nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Well..."

What to do? I already promised Lily.

"How about we just sleep all together, then?" suggested Karen.

Maya furrowed her brows a bit.

"Let's sleep all together, okay Maya? I already promised Lily and I don't want to break that promise."

"Mmm... Okay."

She gave in quickly, thankfully. I scratched her a bit more strongly and she smiled happily. Maybe she was quite easy to please, after all. As long as I gave her some attention.

But everyone sleeping together would become quite a mess. Seven people were no joke.

Let's just pray I survive the night. Good thing we still have some time until evening.

I heard from Korwen's wife that we would be travelling until the sun went down, then we'd make a stop and take a break while having dinner. After that, we would continue travelling for the night. In the morning there'd be another break for breakfast and for the monsters that were pulling the wagons. The next break would be for dinner again. Apparently, we'd continue this until we crossed the border.

But really, how do you pass the time if you just sit around in a wagon...

At some point, I must have fallen asleep again as someone was shaking me gently to wake me up.

Opening my eyes I was greeted with Karen's smiling face.

"We're making a stop, so you should come out. Dinner's ready."

"Oh... Is it that time already?"

Did I really sleep that much?

I tried lifting myself up but couldn't. There was someone grasping on me and prevented me from standing up.

"Sele? Sele, wake up."

I tried shaking her but she didn't even budge.

"I tried waking her too but she didn't let go of you, no matter what I did..."

"How troublesome, where are the others?"

"Everyone is outside already. Only you and Sele were still sleeping."

"I see..."

I remembered the methods that Emily had told me to wake Sele up.

I don't want to strip her, though... And I barely know anything about her books so I can't whisper those things into her ear...

Stripping her would probably also take way too much time. That only left one valid option outside of tickling. I felt along my thigh and found the small knife that was still strapped onto it.

"Speaking of which, shouldn't I return this to Rina?"

"Ah... Well, you should speak with her about it, at least."

"I see."

"But why did you take the knife out now?"

"To wake her up."

"Yumi... I hope you aren't intending on stabbing her."

"Of course not."

I was intending to cut myself. Karen had said my wounds healed quickly so a small cut shouldn't be an issue. That's what I told myself.

"..."

"Yumi, I can see you want to cut yourself... But looking away while your hand is trembling like that can only end in a disaster."

"... But it's scary."

Cutting myself was scary. Even if I knew it wouldn't be a big issue. Something prevented me from actually doing it.

"Could you tell me why you are trying to cut yourself?"

"Emily said Sele wakes up immediately if she smells blood."

"That's a rather... unique way to wake someone..."

"I agree... But apparently, she doesn't wake up unless you do some... questionable things."

Karen furrowed her brows.

"Questionable things?"

"Nn... Emily said they... usually strip her naked. Then she'll wake up after some time."

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"... I agree... That is questionable."

"Nn..."

"And smelling blood will wake her up?"

"She said so, yes."

"... But why?"

"I don't know?"

I really didn't. Was Sele some kind of vampire? Speaking of which, I wondered whether vampires actually existed here.

"How weird."

"Nn, but we still have to wake her up now..."

"I guess so... Give me the knife."

"Okay?"

I handed over the knife.

"Well, here we go."

She put her own finger on the blade and slid it down.

"Wait, Sis? Why did you cut yourself?"

"I won't allow you to hurt yourself."

She put the cut finger in front of Sele's face. A small red droplet was forming on top of it. Nearly immediately, Sele latched onto her finger and began sucking on it.

"Ohh... This actually... Feels nice."

"Sis..."

Karen started squirming slightly. I felt like an idiot being worried for a moment. But, I was a bit happy that she worried about me, even if it would probably heal quickly. Alas, I wished she would understand that I was just as worried about her. I didn't want her to hurt herself either.

"Mhh... Mh..."

Sele continued sucking on her finger for a moment until she let go and licked it clean. The wound was barely visible anymore on her finger.

The little demonkin girl opened her eyes and stared sleepily at us.

"Mmm... Morning..."

"It's evening already, Sele."

"... Evening..."

"Good Evening. You awake?"

"... Awake..."

She leaned onto me with a smile. Karen helped us with getting up and we left we wagon together. Sele seemed in an oddly good mood.

"Yumi! Yumi! You're up!"

"Yumi, Karen, come here before the food is gone."

Emily and Lily stood next to a big pot and waved towards us. Maya was sitting close to them and engrossed in eating her food. Next to her, Rina poked inside the bowl she was holding as if she was inspecting something suspicious.

"Rina, playing with food is bad manners," Lily scolded her when saw that.

"Eh? Oh, sorry! I'll eat. I'll eat!"

Lily looked quite energetic again. That made me happy but also a bit sad. Though it seemed that Karen still hadn't returned the pendant to her. Or maybe she wasn't using it? It'd be nice if she was trusting us enough in that case.

"Those two get along, don't they?"

"They do. I barely looked away and Lily started taking care of Rina. Or rather, Rina started bothering her."

Karen looked a bit annoyed. She barely got her little sister back and then Lily intruded and monopolised her.

"Here you go, Yumi, Karen."

Lily handed us both each a bowl. It looked like some kind of a mix between a stew and soup. Some pieces of meat could be found within.

"Thank you."

"Yumi, when you are done, Korwen and Merim wanted to talk with you."

"Okay. I'll go over afterwards."

We all sat down. Someone had taken all the trouble to bring out a table and a few benches, so we occupied the remaining free space and began eating.

"This is... quite good."

"It is, I haven't eaten something warm like this in such a long time."

"... You did your best, Sis."

After eating mostly hard bread and meat jerky in the slums, Karen was truly looking blissful eating some warm food.

You endured well, Sis.

Rina also started eating and was similarly showing a happy expression. She probably hadn't gotten any decent food either in all this time.

We ate our food in peace with little conversation. Everyone was too engrossed in actually eating. Once we were done I left them to look for Korwen and Merim. There was some resistance from Maya but I promised to play with her later. But now, finding Korwen was more important.

We had quickly made ourselves comfortable in the wagon so I didn't have an overview of the entire caravan but it was truly astonishing. Many dozens of wagons and were standing on the road and next to them were the mercenaries being merry, eating food or drinking alcohol.

Korwen and Merim were, as expected, near the front of the caravan. It didn't take long to find them, mostly because there were fewer people and less merry shouting.

"Yumi, good you came here. We have to talk a bit," said Korwen when he spotted me.

"Nn. What was it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Take a seat first, we aren't in a hurry."

"Nn."

If you were told to take a seat that usually meant it would take some time, and somehow I had the feeling it wasn't a good talk.

It's like when your parents found out about your bad tests and want to have a talk. I hope it's not something like that...

"I'm not going to scold you don't worry, but I do want to talk about what we're going to do from now on, especially regarding you."

"Shouldn't Karen and Lily be here then as well?"

"It mostly concerns you, so it's okay."

"Haa..."

He took a sip from the jug that was in front of him.

"It's basically about how we will integrate you all into the mercenaries. You know, we have a hierarchy and it's important to follow it."

"Nn."

"And the hierarchy basically goes down a ladder. In any case, the problem is how I deal with you three in particular. First of all, you three all have magic talent or are already able to use magic. I want to include at least Lily in our standing magician force. Though I call it like that, she's basically on her own with the other three idiots. Depending on how we organise the Black Guards their magician may join up as well, though. Anyway, with so few, there's not much in the way of hierarchy so we generally just have them answer mainly to me and Merim."

So Lily was basically able to do her own thing. That might be better, she didn't seem like someone that could do well working with strangers.

"The next one up is Karen... She isn't able to use magic yet so I want her to study under Ria and Lily, so she'll be in the same spot as Lily, but treated more like an apprentice."

He took another sip of his beverage.

"The problem, now, is you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you're troubling me a bit. You're a monster so you can use magic, but you aren't a traditional magician either. I am thinking of putting you with the magicians, but before I decide, I wanted to talk with you first. I do have some other ideas as well, after all."

"Huh..."

If I was with the magicians I could stay with Karen and Lily so I obviously would prefer that as well.

"That's why, I want to hear what you even are, exactly. I only know you are some kind of monster, but neither Wenners nor Krutz could even guess what you are exactly. I also want you to take a little test in the coming days to see what things you can do, of course, but a general idea would be good already."

"Well..."

How should I tell him now that I was a kind of tentacle monster? Should I just go ahead and tell him bluntly? Or should I try to subtly avoid it? But that would only lead to trouble in the long run. Maybe I should just be honest here, right?

"That is... I'm..."

"You are?"

"Tentacle..."

"... Tentacle?"

"... Nn."

"You aren't trying to tell me you are a tentacle monster? Like, a roper?"

"... I am."

He rubbed his temple when he heard that.

"Okay, so... You are a tentacle monster... Okay, but... Where are the tentacles?"

Obviously, he would ask that, wouldn't he? I just hoped he wouldn't ask me to actually show it to him.

"It seems you are troubled by it but I still need to know."

"I can... change part of my body. And my hair is effectively like it as well."

"Hmm... "

He folded his hands in front of him and closed his eyes. He was thinking about it, no doubt.

When he finally opened his eyes again he looked a bit troubled.

"Well, I guess that is a bit troublesome. I'll decide what to do after we do the test, then. But... Tentacle monsters are also rather dangerous in general, which is a bit of an issue, now."

"An issue?"

"Yes. You are basically a wild monster. And a wild monster is dangerous. Especially those of dangerous categories like a tentacle monster."

"Huh..."

Were they considered more dangerous than those ogres? Well, I haven't really seen many monsters outside of those ogres...

"Confused?"

"A bit... Why are they considered that dangerous?"

"There are a few reasons but the main reason is, that they multiply quickly. There aren't many monsters that are actively trying to breed but for tentacle monsters, it usually is even more important than finding food. They generally kidnap females of various races and turn them into seedbeds. They do take males as well, though. Mainly for food. Within a week, a single roper can become a few dozen ropers assuming he finds enough females. In addition to that, they like humanoid females a lot, since they are stronger than most animals and still more common than strong monsters or magic beasts, who are more of a danger to the roper itself anyway."

"That's..."

"Not so nice, right? Thankfully, ropers are nonetheless rare, but they are treated as a disaster should they be found. And the same can be said about nearly all of the tentacle monsters. Another trait they usually share is, that they are dangerous in combat. Nearly all of them possess high regeneration capabilities and some additionally use poison to attack. Killing even one is a pain.

"..."

I was left speechless. I figured that they could be a nuisance and dangerous to women, but I never thought it was this bad.

"That's why people will treat you as just as dangerous. And obviously, just bringing such a creature into a city is an absolute no-go."

"Haa... Does that mean, I can't enter?"

"Not necessarily... There's a way."

He turned towards Merim, who was sitting at the side and kept silent until now.

"Merim, bring me that thing."

"Are you sure? Well then..."

Merim stood up and walked away, only to come back with something black in his hands, which he gave to Korwen.

"Lafria has some rules regarding monsters, you see... As long as a dangerous monster is properly controlled, they can enter the city along with their tamer. That's why I have to ask you to wear this. As long as you wear it somewhere on your body, it should be fine."

He handed me the black thing.

"A collar... Really?"

"Yes, really. If you don't you will again be unable to enter the city. And in the worst case, people may try to hunt you down anyway."

"Uhh... But if I hide my mana wouldn't that be enough?"

"Even if you learn it, Lafria has better technology than the Akkian Empire, courtesy of the Academy. They'll find out quickly. It might be enough to hide outside the city, though."

He looked quite troubled by this as well. I did wonder a bit whether that was really enough, though. He just told me how dangerous a tentacle monster generally was, so if it were me, I wouldn't allow them into the city regardless of whether they are controlled or not.

"Optimally we can ask to make a special exception for you, but hiding you is impossible either way unless you want to keep outside the city for the entire time. And we'll be staying quite long, hopefully."

"Uhh..."

"Well, we can have Karen register as your tamer, so just get her to pour some mana into that thing and wear it somewhere. That shouldn't be all too bad, should it?"

"Well, I guess... I could accept that."

I held up the collar. It was thick and sturdy, with a mana crystal embedded in the front. Where was I even supposed to wear this...

"The collar can be a bit adjusted in size."

"That's good to know."

I turned my attention back to Korwen.

"Are you sure this is fine, though? You just told me how dangerous tentacle monsters are, so would they even allow me in even with the collar?"

"It is, the Lafria Kingdom is pretty laid back about things, but they do take their security seriously. The tentacle monsters are mainly dangerous because they multiply quickly, so they aren't as dangerous if you fight them before that happens. And it's easy to keep a monster with a collar under observation inside the city so even if there was someone trying something nefarious, he would most likely be caught before the monster could become a menace."

"Huh... So it's like that."

"Yes. Still, I want to see whether I can get them to recognize you as a person, in which case you would most likely be simply regarded as a dangerous magician. You will be more harshly judged if you get involved in some commotion then, but you can walk around alone and be judged according to humanoid laws."

"That would be nice indeed."

"It would be nice, yes, but you are rather unique after all. It might take some time."

But at least there was some hope. I might be able to take back some of my human dignity.

Regardless, Karen was sure to get angry about this. She cared for me, about which I was happy. I had to think of a way to explain this to her. At least, I knew now why he only called for me.

Sly bastard, you shoved the work of explaining that to me.

"Well, I think that was all for now. I'll have Ria prepare some kind of test for you. If there are any issues, you can come to me or go to Merim. It's also fine if you go to Fenna, she's responsible for you and the girls we rescued until we properly dealt with everything."

"Huh... Speaking of which, what happened to those girls?"

"Them, huh... It's best to ask Fenna about it. We'll take care of them for now but we haven't decided yet whether they'll stay with us or not."

"Is that so... but didn't they have families back there?"

"Some did, from what they told me. But... None of them wanted to return, not after everything they went through. It's unlikely they'd be able to live a normal life anymore. A few of them are also... rather scared of the men. Not exactly surprising, I guess. That's why I left them in her care for now."

"..."

That... was bad, wasn't it? I remembered the sight of Fenna and her squad praying around those dead bodies, back down in that hideout.

"There's not much I can do, I'm sorry. But, if you find some time, I'd appreciate it if you and those three little rascals could visit them. It might cheer them up a bit."

"Nn, I understand."

After I nodded, Korwen sighed, most likely because of worry, or maybe because of his inability to help. It was hard to know.

"Thank you. Now, get back. Those girls will worry if you stay here too long."

"Nn."

"Make sure you get some proper sleep, we'll be travelling during the night as well, after all."

"Will do."

I waved goodbye to Korwen and Merim and left. With the collar in my hands, I returned to Karen and Lily. I had to think of a way to tell them.

That reminds me, what about Rina? She has a mana crystal as well, right? ... Oh well, too late to ask now.

Rinne

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