“Halt right there!” A soldier shouted at me as I sat on my horse which trotted towards a camp illuminated by a few magical lights hovering in the air. My guess was that around two hundred warriors lived there under the thumb of my friend.
“Aye aye!” I shouted back and jumped off my horse shortly afterwards. “I need to speak to the manager.”
“And who are you?” The brown haired guard, clad entirely in black amour asked.
“Someone interested in her services.” I said and strolled through the high grass towards him.
“Nobody speaks to the boss. If you need us to do anything, go through the usual channels.” He said while slowly drawing his sword as I made no indication to stop.
“It is important that I speak with her myself.” I said and tilted my head a bit.
“As I told you, I cannot let you pa-“ Annoyed, I stepped past him with my horse. “Hey, stop right there or I will use force.” He said angrily.
“Have you brought this plot of land? If not, everyone is allowed on it. I am just a curious traveller so to speak.” I said and continued to walk until he ran in front of me and pointed his sword at me again.
“I will hurt you.” He threatened.
“Okay … fine. Could you cuff me and bring me to the commander then?” I asked and smiled innocently.
“That is … you are asking to die.” He said and blinked a few times as I let go of the reigns of the horse and presented him my wrists. Surprisingly, he did have metal handcuffs with him which made everything a bit easier. I even smiled towards him as he cuffed me. While I held the reigns of my horse, he grabbed around my upper arm and led me into the camp after making sure that someone else took his post.
Sadly, he didn´t bring me to Hannah directly, but rather to the guy she apparently picked up somewhere. Annoyed he looked at me as another soldier took the reigns of my horse and led it away from me.
“Who are you?” He asked while looking down on me.
“Who are you?” I replied with a smirk on my face.
“I am the commander. You wanted to speak with me?” No, I did not want to speak with him. He was Someone I did not care about and probably never would.
“Hmm … can we skip past this probing stage?” I asked annoyed and rolled my eyes.
“What do you mean?” He balled his hands to fists, just to look a little more dangerous which sadly didn’t work out at ally
“Ehh … fuck this.” I said and looked up and cleared my throat.
“Some things in life are bad~
They can really make you mad”
I sung loudly while placing one hand over the other in front of me.
“Other things just make you swear and curse~
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle~”
I whistled loudly while breaking my hand near the thumb, hidden from the soldier who looked at me while frowning.
“And this'll help things turn out for the best
And
Always look on the bright side of life~”
I sung happily, slipped the cuff over my broken hand and curtsied to the ‘commander’. He was immediately reaching for his sword as I did so. The nearby soldiers weren’t exactly slower and a few seconds later, I was already surrounded by swords pointing at me.
“Oh, my.” I said while breaking my other hand and repeating the process of freeing myself from the shackles. “Not a single sense for art. I´m honestly a bit disappointed in your education.” I said and smiled brightly while slowly pushing the tip of the sword that was close to my throat away. I wriggled a bit with my thumbs and then turned around to gaze at the approaching soldiers.
“That is a rather reckless way of getting in touch with me.” The elf who was heading the group commented dryly.
“Well … better than ‘Yo’ I guess.” I whispered and walked towards her happily. The swords in my path were pulled away as I did so, enabling me to walk towards Hannah freely.
“Seethe your swords.” Without any contradiction, every sword was immediately stored away once more. Truly, she did train them well.
“How are you doing? Haven´t seen you in a little while.” I said happily.
“Let us discuss this somewhere else, shall we?” She asked, already turning away from me.
“Okay … bye!” I waved towards the guards cockily as Hannah and I left them behind confused. We didn´t talk at all until she stood in front of a rather large tent with glowing runes on it. “A magical tent? Is it bigger inside than on the outside, or what can it do?”
“It doesn’t let any sound escape.” Well, not as good as spatial magic, but whatever. She opened the makeshift door and waited for me to step inside. There wasn’t much there, just a table with a simple chair and a hay bed in the middle. Playfully, I immediately threw myself into the spiky mess and turned around to look at Hannah who was closing the tent again.
“Hi …” I muttered as I could see the overwhelming happiness in her eyes.
“Do you know how much I missed you?” She asked and wiped a tear away that appeared in the corner of her eye.
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“Eh?” I asked, quite surprised by her reaction.
“Two hundred years … two hundred years I was alone on this godforsaken world.” She said full of bitterness in her voice.
“I … I´m sorry.” I muttered. I failed her, I knew that. I could show Mary a path into the future and Tom as well. But Hannah? She didn´t chose the path I laid out for her because she didn´t feel at home with her old family. I realized that fact way too late and it was impossible for me to correct my mistake then.
“It isn´t your fault … but don’t leave me again.” She said, even though it was exactly my fault. I left her with nothing as I fell into coma.
“I will do anything to stop that from happening.” I declared truthfully. I had no intention of ever falling into a coma again. But sadly, the cycle theory showed that events that already happen, might happen again.
“You don’t understand … you are the only person on this planet I can call my friend. Nobody saved me back then except you and even when I realised you had other motives … I was happy, Lucinda. I was truly happy with you. My life had been great, I finally found a home and a purpose … and as you vanished, that all broke apart. I was lonely, Lucinda. So lonely. Nobody can fill the gap in my heart you left behind, not the men who fell in love with me, nor those I saved on my travels on a whim.” She said and really touched my heart. I was never the sentimental person, but even I felt saddened by what she told me.
The thing was … she didn’t feel that strongly back then. Only as the time progressed did she realise how much I actually meant for her which was by far more than what I perceived myself. As such, I was a bit unsure what to answer right away and struggled to even answer to that until several seconds went by.
“If I need to be a star shining brightly on the night sky to lead you, I will do so. If you need a shoulder to steady yourself, I hereby swear I will be it. If you need a friend who understands you, I will be that person. If you need me to build you a home where you can feel at ease, I will make one. But let me tell you this. The path I am treading on is littered with sharp stones and I still don’t know where it leads to.” I admitted carefully. I didn´t want to hurt her feelings even more than I already did. I only wished her the best, and I wasn’t so sure that staying with me was exactly that.
“At least you have a path … I have nothing.” She said bitterly, which made me sit up on the bed and extend my hand to her.
“And you will need to do whatever I say, otherwise we will both fail.” I saw her as my friend that much was true. But I also needed someone I could rely on unconditionally. Someone who wouldn’t question my decisions when we didn’t have the time to discuss, no matter how brutal or foolish they were.
Tom knew that very well and wouldn’t question me, no matter what. After all, I could simply use the bond between us and command him to do it. Truth to be told, I had no qualms of doing so, but still thought that if it were better if he fulfilled his assignments on his own free will.
Hannah on the other hand was way more emotional which was exactly what I wouldn’t want to have by my side when it needed to go fast. It wasn’t all bad though. As long as she understood that I would be giving out the orders, her emotions would be very welcome.
“It wouldn’t be much different from before, would it?” She asked immediately after my statement, which did surprise me somewhat. I was different from her. I would never agree to my demands, no matter what was on the line. But she apparently had no problems with that which did strike me as a little bit odd. But everyone of us was different and if she had no problems with following me wherever I went then I wouldn’t complain.
“Hannah … come here.” I said and smiled as she gave me her hand. I pulled her down onto the straw bed and hugged her tightly. “I don’t know if you want it, but my path has enough room for more than one person.”
“I missed you so much.” I could feel how my shoulder was wetted by her tears as I patted her back gently.
“I missed you too.” I admitted and felt my own eyes becoming a little bit wet.
“… I want to feel you.” She said suddenly and pressed her chin onto my shoulder, pinning me beneath her with her full weight.
“Hm?” I asked a bit surprised.
“I want to know that you are real and not some illusion.” She admitted while sobbing.
“I am as cold as ever. I am the real me, Hannah.” I stated while moving her hand to my collarbone.
“Still.” She pushed herself up and gave me a hand to follow suit. Gently, she took the cape off me and then did the same to her clothing while I could only look at her. She didn´t feel much love to me and especially no lust whatsoever. But I could see the desire in her eyes to be as close as possible to me. It was some kind of dependence she showed, that much was clear. It wasn’t exactly like that from a child to its parents, but it did came close to that.
“You never went beyond skinship, did you?” I asked while frowning. Her behaviour was weird and a little bit too pushy for her.
“… not even that since you fell into coma.” She admitted. I closed my eyes a little bit that she had never gotten past the traumas of her past.
“Hannah, I am not feeling aroused by anyone except my kin. So if you want to use me to get past your traumata, it won’t work.” I explained and opened my eyes again to see how she tripped from one foot onto the other nervously.
“I know. For two hundred years, I couldn’t get past them. But they aren’t the reason.” She said.
“Then tell me.”
“I don’t want to be alone. And you are the only one I am comfortable with having close to me ... because nobody else is like me.” She was like me before I remembered everything I had erased myself. She hated sexualized skin contact because of what happened to her and she knew for a fact that I was the only one who would never leech over her. Still a bit reluctant, I pulled the straps holding up my dress to the side and let it fall down.
“You know that this isn´t exactly normal?” I asked while looking into her eyes to find any hint of hesitation. I couldn’t find anything.
“What is normal in a world where humans turn into demons, where my sole friend falls into a coma because the gods wanted it and where I cannot befriend anyone because I am too scared to do so? Because they will either betray me, or die sooner than I do?” She said while stripping off her normal clothes. She was just trying to get rid of her bra as I stopped her by touching her hand.
“Hannah, let us not get into bed naked. We never did that before … without drugs and I do not wish for you to feel uncomfortable in any way.” I explained.
“… please. I just want to feel you. I only want to know you are here.” She said bitterly.
“Hannah …” I looked away from her, unsure if that was the right path for us to take, but finally relented as I noticed her tearing up in the corner of my vision. “… okay. But you tell me when you don’t feel alright, okay?”
“I will.” She said and got rid of her underwear shortly afterwards while I did the same to my slightly small panty. And then, we looked in each others eyes, not really interested in anything else until Hannah retrieved a blanked from one of the boxes she had and laid down in the hay. She immediately covered herself with it as soon as I laid down right next to her and snuggled up.
Our feet played a little bit with each other as I hugged her closely and placed my ear right above her heart like I always did. She hugged me back, pulled me closer into her embrace and made me feel her gentle warmth in every pore of my skin.
“Hannah?” I asked after we spend several minutes like this.
“Yes?” She said gently, having finally calmed down a bit.
“I need you as well. Please don’t forget that.” I stated. And I did mean it that way. I needed her. Not as someone I could sent on the battlefield, but as someone who would give me a sense of normality. Someone who knew who I was and what I did, and still chose to be by my side.
“Thank you.” She said maybe not knowing why I mentioned that, but still thankful about the feeling of being needed by someone she held dear.
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