“In the smouldering ruins of an ancient civilizations of cells, may new life be born once more.” A bit disgusted, I grabbed Richard by his charred legs and heaved him with Tom into the hole we dug on a cemetery. It was dark outside and obviously, nobody was insane enough to go for a walk at three in the night except us of course. “With death comes life, and with life comes death.” I mumbled as I threw a few seeds into the grave.
“Is it true you find enjoyment in the death of others?” Tom asked as he looked me into my eyes. I must have had a rather crocked smile on my face because he looked at me with so much interest, with so much happiness that there was simply no other option.
“It´s like a drug I can never get enough from. It is not just dying people I see as thrilling, but also the dead in general. To me, this place with its hundreds and hundreds of corpses is like an overdose of Cali flowers for anyone else. It is chiselling away at my reasoning the longer I stay here and truthfully, it excites me to see what I will do.” I explained and picked up the shovel to throw the first batch of dirt onto the corpse.
“Hmm? Is it the first time this happens?” That I was drawn into the embrace of death itself was rather common, so no, it wasn’t the first time. It wasn’t even rare.
“Oh no, certainly not. Aska and I usually have sex afterwards to sate my thirst for death itself … but he isn’t around, so there is that.” I giggled a bit and looked around to see Hannah in the distance, looking around to see anyone approaching without permission.
“I … I could help out.” Tom said which made laugh out uncontrollably. He didn’t even realize what that entailed and what I would put him through if I accepted his offer.
“Oh? You think you are capable of that? Sure, you are dead and we are where there is so much of it but still. You are nothing more of a flickering light in comparison to Aska.” I said and picked up another batch of dirt which promptly wandered into the hole.
“What is it now? Do you want to have him close or not?” Sometimes I wanted to be with him, sometimes I absolutely didn’t. And right then, I just wanted to be back on the archipelago world with him.
“It´s a love hate relationship. What do you expect from to psychopaths that have the hobby of torturing each other?” I giggled happily as I remembered how I stabbed through his heart a few months ago. The look on his face, all the blood on his exposed chest was truly exciting to see.
“You do have the hobby of torturing everyone.” Tom claimed which was entirely correct. Aska wasn’t the first one I stabbed that day and he was certainly not the last. But I did have the feeling Tom didn’t mean it that way. He probably was still angry because of the hammer incident.
“Look, I already told you it was an accident. What else do you want?” I asked and swung the shovel downwards to flatten the rest of the dirt somewhat. Seeing my finished work, I threw the shovel back into a nearby bush and looked at Tom carefully.
“How about you treat me with a hint of respect? You knew from the very beginning this asshole would use his shitty magic on me. You even knew a way of dealing with it as we have seen. And yet you did nothing and used me as a lab rat so that I could tell you that it felt as if I was dreaming during that time. Lucinda, you know I endure a lot of your shit already but this time you clearly went too far.” Did I? At first, I didn’t even know what he wanted from me as I did what I usually did. He was a piece on my chess board and I used him as I saw fit. But then again, I also didn’t want to be used by others so I could understand his reasoning somewhat.
“Two hundred years ago you chose to be my kin. You knew from the very get go what that entailed and you knew what kind of person I was and still am. Why do you even bother? It was just a bit of pain and brainwashing you had to endure.” I asked and stepped closer to him. His breath tickled my forehead as I touched his chest with the palm of my hand. I already felt my reasoning slip away from my grasp. I wanted more of that feeling of ecstasy within me.
“At least I want to know what the plan is. I spent so many hours to bring light into the darkness of others and now I am being kept in the dark. That is incredibly unsatisfying.” Tom gulped audibly as I stood on my toes and began to nibble on his nape. There was still no blood flowing out of it but I was incredibly close to tasting it.
“Hmm … I see. I guess there is no harm in not telling you right now. Our enemy is the church of death because I don’t want to have these kinds of people around me and I would rather eat dirt than to know that people Aksa can exploit are out there. That person we met – a reincarnator from another world – was only there by chance. Right now, I have no intention of murdering each and everyone of them as long as they don’t have a dangerous ability and don’t try to invite a god to this world. And I will do everything to stop them from achieving that.” I said and wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed him against me. This was what exactly five hundred and thirteen corpses at various stages of rotting away did to me. On the one hand, I absolutely loved this feeling but it was quite hard as well as I had no way of supressing it too successfully.
“Is that all?” He asked as I kissed his cheek as I barely was able to contain my emotions. I loved death and even though Tom wasn´t death himself, maybe he could work as a replacement. At least that’s what went on in my depraved mind.
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“Are you surprised by how little I have planned my arrival here? I just want to find my peace here, but time and time again, someone has to anger me.” I giggled and pushed him away from me a little bit. My right hand went down from his shoulder towards his chest slowly. I traced his contours with my fingers until I reached his belly button. He was already breathing roughly in his fake way as I reached his hips and went to the right. My hand went into his pocket to retrieve a little but sturdy folding knife. After fumbling around with it for a little while I finally managed to open it and pressed it into Tom´s confused hands. My kissing of his nape never stopped at this point as he leaned downwards and started to do the same to me.
“Not now. Later. Stab me.” That was the most I could utter because my mind was already somewhere else entirely. My right hand went upwards again to support my jelly like legs which trembled in excitement. I didn’t know what Tom´s thoughts were and I honestly also didn’t care. His hands went around my sides, one pulling up my shit while another one went further downwards. I could already feel the cold blade on my skin for a little while until he moved upwards. Starting from my left shoulder blade, he began to cut my skin in a straight line. I could feel how he pressed himself closer against me, probably because he enjoyed it a bit too much.
But so did I. My mind cleared up a lot thanks to the pain and I started giggling uncontrollably until he was around halfway to my waist. I could feel the blade drawing my blood and my body healing nearly instantly behind it.
“Oh mine own hath lost souls of purgat'ry. He'd mine own calleth and posses thy fusty vessels 'round me. I giveth what thee hath lost as longeth as thee s'rve me with corse and soul. Becometh mine own et'rnal slaves, thee hath lost ones.” Tom stabbed into my spleen deeply which made me giggle loudly once more. I truly had switched my obsession with death for my strange relationship to pain which wasn’t something I was too keen on, but at least it allowed me to keep a somewhat clear mind. “ Thee shalt not riseth until i sayeth so, thee shalt not moveth until i asketh thee to and thee shalt not he'd the calleth of anyone else. Thou art mineth, and mineth high-lone. So cometh backeth from the journey thee embark'd on so longeth ago.” Shortly before I could finish my magic that warped reality, Tom stabbed into my spine which sent shivers of pleasure across my whole body. I moaned into his nape and my eyes fluttered uncontrollably. “Cometh backeth and s'rve me well. Possess thy old body.”
The gates of purgatory opened down below, spewing three hundred and six heavily damaged souls out of it. None of these had the capabilities to search for a new, living vessel on their own and neither could I guide them to one. What I could do though was to show them their old, familiar bodies and anchor them to it. All these dead souls followed my command and settled down within corpses or whatever else remained of it. They encompassed their whole remains from muscles to bones and started to circulate mana once more. Meanwhile, I noticed how blood was running out of my nose because of the backslash I received sometimes.
“What are you waiting for?” I pressed out as he pulled the knife out of my back once more. He didn’t wait long afterwards, slid the blade across my skin until he was way up again. Once more, he pressed me closer with his other hand and then embedded the bloody knife into me until the hilt. It punctuated my heart sending waves and waves of numbing, exciting pain through my whole body. Only held up by my arms and Tom, he opened his mouth and bit into my nape without hesitation. Every part of my body was on fire as two sharp canine punctuated my skin. My eyelids fluttered once more as he sucked droplet after droplet out of me and poked around in my heart with his knife. I could feel my body trembling in excitement, and so could he.
He didn´t stop for several seconds in which my moaning turned into groans and I felt my blood pressure falling to a dangerous level. Only as I pushed him away weakly did he pull the knife out of my back and stepped away from me with a happy smile on his face. Meanwhile, I could only kneel down because holding my balance in that state was a horrendously complicated task.
“That’s new.” For him it was, for me it certainly wasn’t. Learning to live with my love for pain was a gradual process spanning across three to four centuries until I arrived where I was that day.
“Live hundred years with Aska and you are bound to hate pain. Stick to him … two hundred years and you mind the dagger in your throat less. It still hurts, but you learn to live with it slowly and giggle it away like some crazy chick. Live three hundred years with him and you like to abuse and to be abused.” I said while looking to my left towards the fresh grave. A hand was sticking out of it which did annoy me somewhat even in my muddled state of mind.
“You like pain?” Tom asked with surprise written all over his face. Angrily, I kicked the arm of the corpse weakly until it went were it belonged once more. Below the dirt.
“Do you realise why I like to keep secrets now? Even though all of you claim that I didn’t change much during these last two hundred years, it couldn’t be further from the truth. Tom, I had become what he wanted me to be the whole time. A masochistic doll that likes to torture others as well. And as much as I hate to admit it, he didn’t even force me into anything.” I went along with it the whole time during these last two hundred years because I didn’t mind it too much. When I fought with Aksa I was never overwhelmed by the pain in any way as I had to concentrate the whole time. Even when I was murdered because Aska won, I didn’t like the pain. I just didn’t minded it. But in the bedroom it was a whole different matter altogether. I loved being put close to death more than I would ever admit and I knew for a fact that Aska kind of liked it as well. Once more, we were completely the same.
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